Relish: A Vicious Feast Book 2 (28 page)

“You’re relaxed,” Samrah said. “You’re in complete control. You’re slowly becoming aware of your body again.” The doubt in her voice worried me. Was that fear I heard? She wasn’t a hundred percent calm anymore. My brow furrowed. The fact that I could feel my eyebrows coming together meant I was close. “Feel your awareness return in your toes up your calves to your thighs. Inhale and feel your abdomen and lungs inflate and deflate when you exhale. You’re up to your shoulders now. Keep going until you reach your head. Take in one more deep breath. Good.” She paused. “Now…slowly open your eye.”

My eye flickered. I gulped in air as if bursting out of water. Samrah stopped speaking. I stared at the ceiling, following the spackle used to fill in the tiny cracks. I rubbed my sweaty palms against the couch cushions. Pins and needles climbed up my legs. I rotated my ankles to get the blood circulating.

Using the couch back for leverage, I sat up. Still, Samrah didn’t speak. Maybe she was reviewing her notes. I swung my legs over the edge and planted my feet firmly on the carpet. Only then did my gaze travel to the Doc. My eye widened at her ashen pallor. She clutched her notepad as if to let go meant to fall apart. Even from a few feet away I noticed the shivers running up and down her body. The way she watched me, it was as if she expected me to hurt her at any minute. Her tense posture said she wanted to run but was rooted to the spot.

I scratched my head until I felt the fastening of my patch. “That bad, huh?” My gaze darted to the video camera still recording.

My question startled Samrah. She blinked rapidly several times as if awakened from a particularly disturbing dream. My gut twisted. One finger at a time she released the notepad from her choke hold. Her fingernails left deep indentations on the paper. She closed her eyes and shuddered.

“I wouldn’t say that,” she said when she opened her eyes again. A measure of calm returned to her visage. “Unexpected might be a better word.”

“Are you alright, Doc?”

“You…uh…” She cleared her throat. “You just caught me off guard, that’s all.”

Still not getting what she meant, I returned my gaze to the camera. “Was it something I said? Did you get what you needed from the hypnotherapy?”

In response, Samrah uncrossed her legs and pushed off the chair. With unsteady steps, she went to the camera and pressed the red button to end the recording. Unlike earlier, she managed to remove it from the tripod without problems.

“I think it’s better if you see what I mean.” She moved to the TV, connected a cable to the camera, and waited for the blue screen to display the beginning of our session. Then she pressed play and fast-forwarded to the point where she’d almost completed the hypnosis. I watched myself lying on the couch while Samrah settled herself into the chair she’d left. I could only hear her voice during the session. We were at the part where she’d asked me to reach for the root of my dreams.

A couple of seconds passed without me saying anything then I sat bolt upright. I yelped in surprise, unable to remove my gaze from the TV screen. Eye closed, my head turned toward the camera and began to speak.

“If you want to know the truth, go to Moira. She holds the answers to what you seek. Do not drink the tea. She will know you are ready. Return to yourself and face what you ran away from.” Then my head turned away and I lay back down.

I covered my mouth with a hand, gently rubbing my lips. The beats of my heart quickened. A hazy memory of sitting in the kitchen of the farmhouse with my mother making tea returned. I couldn’t quite grasp the meaning of it, but considering what my under-hypnosis self just said, there had to be a connection.

Samrah stopped the video and turned off the TV. “Who is Moira?” She sounded more in control. The psychiatrist in her had returned.

My hand muffled my reply. “My mother.”

“Does what your subconscious said ring any bells?”

I shot up from the couch, eliciting a startled gasp from the Doc. Not so steady yet. “I have to go.” I rushed to the door.

“Where?” she called after me.

“Home.” My hand closed around the knob. “I don’t understand what’s happening here, but if my mother knows something then I need to go to her.”

I didn’t wait for Samrah’s reply. I flew out into the hallway and headed straight to the elevator. What I’d witnessed didn’t scare me. Something told me everything that had been happening would make sense once I’d spoken to my mother. I couldn’t take this weird shit anymore. I wanted answers.

The door to the elevator opened and I stepped in, jabbing the number to my floor. As the cab descended, I mentally planned my next move. I needed a plane ticket today. I didn’t care how much it would cost.

The elevator hadn’t fully opened when I hurried out. Only one thought gave me pause when I reached my room. Luka. What would he do if he found out I’d left? The last time I did that he trashed an entire music room. But I had no time to look for him and explain everything. For all I knew, he might be with the band for rehearsals. Belfast was a two night affair then everyone would be moving on to Spain. I lamented not being able to accomplish the photo shoot I’d set up for this afternoon. It was a nice concept too. I rested my forehead against the door and breathed. If everything went as planned and I got all my answers from my mother then I could be back in three days, a week tops. Nothing to worry about.

Resolving to call Luka from the airport, I pushed into my room and began packing my things. I didn’t care if I left anything. Surely someone would perform a last minute check and bring whatever I’d left behind along. I just needed a change of clothes, my camera, and my laptop. Those were my non-negotiables. 

I was on the phone with an airline when Luka walked in. My heart skipped at the sight of him, still in the clothes he’d worn the night before. The hunger in his eyes gave me pause. I almost failed to respond to the question of the ticketing agent at the other end.

“Yes, first class is fine as long as I can leave on this afternoon’s flight.”

Luka’s gaze darkened. “Where are you going?” I raised a finger at him while confirming my payment details. He noticed my bag on the bed. “Where the hell are you going?”

The rise in his voice made me wince. “I’ll pick up the ticket at the counter. Thank you.” I ended the call and dashed to Luka, splaying my hands on his chest. “I just finished my hypnotherapy session with Samrah.” He refused to take his eyes away from my bag. “I need to go home for a couple of days.”

“Why?” He shook beneath my palms.

“I don’t have time to explain. I’ll barely make it to the airport as it is.”

Slowly, he turned his head to face me. My heart broke at the pain in his expression. I moved my hands from his chest to his cheeks, loving the feel of the stubble there. As promised, he hadn’t showered since leaving my room this morning.

Panic mixed with my urgency. Luka and I were in a good place for once. My leaving so suddenly might ruin all that, but this was important. I opened my mouth to tell him so when he closed his eyes and sighed. He took my hands in his, not removing them from his cheeks.

“You’ll only be a few days?” he whispered, barely in control of his rising emotions.

“Yes,” I gasped out. “I just need to speak with my mom about some things. Once I’m finished there I’ll come right back.”

“I’ll come with you.”

I shook my head so hard my hair slapped my cheeks. “You have the tour—”

“Screw the tour!”

His roar took me aback. Not that I didn’t expect the resistance the second he’d come into my room. “Don’t be stupid,” I said with heat in my tone. “You have a lot of people counting on you. I’ll be back before you even start to miss me.”

“You haven’t even left yet and I already miss you.”

His words melted my resolve. It almost convinced me to stay. I hardened myself against giving in. “Remember when you said you still had issues to work out?” He nodded in my hands. “Well, this is my issue that I need to work out.”

“Let me be there for you.”

I shifted my weight to my toes so my lips captured his for a brief albeit hot kiss. “You already are. What you said last night, the things we did, all that matters to me. I’ve never felt more secure of myself than right now, knowing how you feel about me.”

“I love you.”

I heard the resignation in his voice. “I love you.”

He huffed out a breath. “Give me your phone.”

“Why?”

“If you’re in such a hurry, you might as well use the private jet. And take Eli with you.” He cut off my refusal with a hard stare. “I’m not budging on this. If I can’t go with you, at least you’ll have someone there who can help with whatever you might need.”

The concern radiating from him warmed my insides. My smile came from the deepest, most genuine part of me. I gave him my phone and Luka made the call, making all the arrangements. He held my hand the entire time. I stared at our intertwined fingers, not afraid of what might happen next. So long as I had him in my life I’d be okay. I knew this for a fact.

So much for the first class ticket I just paid for. For once it felt good to hand over the reins to someone else. All I had to do was relax, and in less than a week I would be back in Luka’s arms.

“I could get used to this,” I teased after Luka slid my phone into the front pocket of my jeans.

“Leaving me?” he teased back.

I shook my head, a grin spreading across my face. “I’m addicted to you, Luka Visraya. I’ll need my fix sooner than you think.”

“Maybe we can do something about that.” He squeezed my ass.

We’d been in the middle of making out when Eli strode into the room. He cleared his throat and said “sir” a couple of times. Luka didn’t care. His tongue continued its languid exploration of my mouth. I blushed because we had an audience, but I didn’t have it in my heart to push him away. He glided his hand down my leg and pushed his all too obvious erection against the meeting of my thighs.

“Uh, sir?” Eli’s discomfort increased. “The plane—”

“Will leave when I’m damn good and ready,” he growled into my lips.

“Yes, sir.”

I sucked his lower lip into my mouth and ran the tip of my tongue over it before I pulled away. “I really have to go.”

He kissed me possessively. I went with it until he was the one who backed off. I smiled up at him, breathing in his sweet spicy scent. He ran the tip of his nose up the column of my throat, inhaling as he went.

“You smell like me,” he whispered into my ear.

I shivered. “And I’ll continue to smell that way until I return.”

He buried his face against the side of my neck. “Come back to me.”

“You can count on it.”

“And,” he pushed up so his gaze locked with mine, “no matter what happens, nothing will change between us. Know that.”

His words confused me. “Why would anything change?”

Instead of answering my question, he scrambled off the bed. Taking my hand, he pulled me up with him. I stood on unsteady feet. He tucked me into his side as he faced Eli. “Is everything ready?”

“The plane is waiting at George Best.”

“Good.” He lifted my bag off the floor and handed it to Eli. “Take care of her.”

The bodyguard nodded. “With my life.”

C
HAPTER
T
HIRTY
-T
WO
M
EMORY

The last time I stood outside my mother’s ancient farmhouse with its peeling paint and warping wood, our property had been covered in knee-deep snow. I’d been running away from a broken heart, exhausted from my stay with Vicious. No matter how much I wanted to tell her everything I couldn’t because of the NDA. So I suffered in silence.

The snow had melted since then and my heart mended—by the same guy who’d broken it. The old me wouldn’t have allowed Luka back in her life. But thirty days of living at Lunar Manor had changed me. The rock god confessed his feelings, we’d had the most amazing sex of my life, and I’d given him my heart. So much had changed in such a short time.

What he’d told me about “nothing changing” between us no matter what happened bothered me for the entire plane ride home. What had he meant? I was going to speak to my mother about my dreams because my subconscious told me so under hypnosis. What was weird about that?

Then again lots of creepy stuff had been happening lately.

Speaking of creeptacular things, the goose bumps were particularly massive today. The energy surrounding the house held a static charge to it. Add a looming storm in the horizon and the image would be complete. The sun setting to my left flushed the sky pink. Nothing scary about that. Something told me I was missing a crucial piece of the puzzle.

Bag slung over my shoulder, I gave the black SUV parked at the end of the lane a glance. Eli didn’t like it one bit when I asked him to stay in the car while I spoke to my mother. I pouted and gave him my one-eyed version of the puppy dog look and he relented, making me promise not to tell Luka or he’d lose his balls. Out of respect for his balls, we pinky swore and I slid out to face whatever the hell my mother had been keeping from me.

Secrets. The idea of them made me itch. And the thought of my mother keeping anything from me…no. I shook my head. We’d hash this out. My mother, wild and weird as she was, always answered my questions directly.

I slipped my hand into my pocket where my phone rested. Samrah had sent me a copy of the video. It gave me comfort knowing I had proof in case she asked. I returned my attention to the house. From the lights shining inside, she was home, probably in the middle of making dinner.

Good. She was always cheery when cooking. That made things infinitely easier. Although how I would begin to broach the subject, I had no idea. I shrugged. Might as well get it over with. The sooner I finished here the sooner I could catch up with the tour. It didn’t hurt that Luka was now part of the package. My happiness knew no bounds. I missed him something fierce already. Would have thought the emotion pathetic if I wasn’t in such a mushy state. Lovey dovey looked good on me.

Thinking of Luka put my trepidation on hold and sent my emotions into an upswing. Not wanting to waste the renewed energy in my veins, I climbed the porch steps. The door swung open as soon as I reached the landing. My mother must have noticed me arriving. Expecting her to come bursting out, I braced myself.