Relentless Liberation (12 page)

The closer Mina got to the gym, the more she started to
second-guess her decision and the more nervous she became as a consequence. By
the time she found a parking space and finally entered the building, her body
was shaking and she felt on the verge of a panic attack.

Oh this wouldn’t do. If Tyler saw her right now, he’d
probably flip his shit and demand to know what was wrong. Knowing he had to
fight tonight, she’d decided to wait until after to tell him her story. She
didn’t want him to be preoccupied with her drama and lose his focus in the
ring. So she hurried to the ladies’ room before anyone she knew noticed her.

Shutting herself into a stall, she closed the toilet lid and
sat down with her head in her hands. Taking deep breaths to regulate her
breathing, she gave herself a mental pep talk. Despite her anxiety over opening
up to Tyler, she knew it was the right thing to do.

This was Tyler. Her best friend. Her lover. And if she were
honest with herself, he was the man she loved. He would help her—she knew this.
Why she was so apprehensive about it was a mystery.

Deciding that she was being ridiculous, she shook it off and
was about to exit the stall when she heard female voices. One of them mentioned
Tyler’s name.

“I’m telling you girl, tonight’s the night with Tyler. I’m
going for it.” Mina peeked between the small cracks in the bathroom stall to see
who it was. Two blonde amazons stood by the sinks, touching up their makeup in
the giant mirror. She didn’t know either of them but had seen them around. The
one who spoke wore a sparkly pink tank top that matched her sparkling-pink lips
to perfection.

“I don’t know. I think he might have a girlfriend,” the
other woman said, scrunching her nose. The diamond stud through it glinted with
the movement.

Pinky gave her friend a drool look. “You mean that quiet,
boring girl he hangs out with, who looks like she has a stick shoved up her
ass? Puh-lease, she wishes. She wouldn’t know what to do with a fine man like
that even in her dreams.”

Studs smiled and shrugged. “All I know is that for the last
few months, those two have been inseparable. Don’t ask me what it is he sees in
her but I think there might be something going on.”

“Oh come on. The only thing that could possibly be going on
there is Tyler throwing her the occasional pity fuck.” Pinky ran her finger
under her bottom lip to erase a smudge caused by her candy-colored lipstick.
“Besides, she’s friends with Chloe. Maybe he owed Brian a favor. No way he’s
actually into her.”

“Well, there’s only one way to find out. Go for it like you
said and see what happens.” Studs bit her lip and wagged her eyebrows. “Just
make sure you let me know how it goes. He’s so damn sexy I’ve always wondered
about him.”

“I know, right?” Pinky laughed. “After the fight tonight I’m
gonna find out. He won’t even know what hit him.”

With that, the two women left the bathroom, their bubbly
laughter trailing after them as the door swung closed.

Mina felt sick. She had to admit to herself that she’d often
wondered why Tyler wanted her. Usually, he got her so hot and bothered that her
doubts would leave her mind almost as soon as she had them. There were even
times when he’d actually made her feel beautiful. But she’d never stopped to
think about how they looked together. His “fuck what other people think”
attitude had rubbed off on her to the point where all she saw was just the two
of them.

Overhearing that not-so-pleasant conversation coupled with
the earlier visit with Daisy had Mina considering the possibility that maybe
Tyler did pity her. Maybe that was the reason he didn’t want a full-blown
relationship. More than likely it was the reason he had started talking to her
in the first place. She’d been so odd, backward and out of place he’d felt
sorry for her.

Okay, stop
, she admonished herself. Tyler was nowhere
near that cruel and it wasn’t fair of her to even consider that he could be. He
cared about her. That much was obvious.

So she squared her shoulders, renewed her resolve to complete
her mission for the night and left the bathroom in search of Chloe and their
usual ringside spot. Luckily, Chloe was there waiting for her when she took her
place.

“Oh there you are,” Chloe said with a smile. “For a minute I
thought you weren’t coming.”

Mina forced a smile, determined to convince herself that
everything was all right, absolutely nothing for her to worry about. She’d talk
to Tyler later and everything would be fine. “I just had to make a quick pit stop
to the ladies’.”

Her fabricated smile must have given her away because
Chloe’s look became speculative. “You sure you’re okay? You’ve seemed a little
off ever since that snob came into the store.”

For a second, Mina debated how much to tell Chloe. Part of
her still craved that sisterly bond she thought she’d had with Daisy, and if
Mina had ever had a true friend, she knew that Chloe was it. But she would
never have that kind of a friendship if she didn’t take the chance and trust
her.

So she decided right then that she would let go of the
hesitation Daisy had instilled in her and open up to Chloe. Mina realized that
she couldn’t keep these walls up forever. That would be such a lonely existence
and in the end she would only be hurting herself. And Daisy would have won.

“It’s a really long story but I promise I’ll tell you. Maybe
some night this week we’ll grab dinner and talk?” Mina didn’t want to get into
it with all these people around and she wanted to tell Tyler first.

The smile that graced Chloe’s face then was so warm it
almost brought tears to Mina’s eyes. “Can’t wait.”

Soon after, the fights began and the two of them chattered
excitedly about who would win each round or they’d snicker at how obvious some
of the amazons could be when it came to flirting with the fighters. She could
laugh about it outwardly but in the back of her mind, she couldn’t help but
replay the conversation she’d overheard in the bathroom. Would Tyler give in to
Pinky’s advances? Would he get sick of Mina so soon and move on to bigger and
better things?

The thought had a lump forming in her throat and her stomach
flipped.

When it was his turn to take the ring, Mina saw Pinky making
her way toward his corner. The woman was shameless. She tugged her low-cut tank
top down and adjusted her cleavage to the point where Mina was sure if she took
one deep breath her breasts would spill out. She jumped up and down calling out
Tyler’s name and when he turned toward her she bit her glossy lower lip and
threw him a flirty finger wave.

Tyler nodded in her direction to acknowledge her presence
but Mina was relieved when that was all the reaction Pinky got for her effort.
As the ref introduced the fighters, Tyler’s gaze sought her out. When he found
her, he gave her that wicked smile of his and her stomach fluttered. He winked
at her and she rolled her eyes, making him laugh.

She could feel Pinky’s glare but decided to ignore her as a
strange sense of triumph that she’d never before experienced filled her. For
once the guy actually wanted her, not the dumb bimbo vying for his attention.
What
an amazing concept
.

Eventually the fight started and Tyler had no more attention
to give either of them. As usual, he only had eyes for his opponent. And as
usual, Mina couldn’t help marveling at his strength and the way he controlled
his body so efficiently. Of course, whenever she saw him fight, her mind
couldn’t help but wander off to when all that power and efficiency was focused
on her. She shivered and she knew a small Mona Lisa smile was gracing her face.
Good thing no one was paying attention to her.

Her daydream took over and she was startled when she heard
the ref calling out a winner, signaling that the fight was over. She wasn’t at
all surprised to see Tyler’s hand raised in the air as the cheers and shouts
filled the room.

As Tyler left the ring, she chatted with Chloe until Brian
caught up to them. Then she excused herself to head back to the locker rooms in
search of Tyler. By now, the other fighters were used to her waiting at the
edge of the locker room door for Tyler so no one batted an eyelash at her
presence.

In fact, everything was normal until she rounded the corner
and found Tyler in the hallway talking to someone with his back to her. A lead
ball settled in her stomach when she realized it was Pinky.

The amazon was wrapping her blonde hair around her finger,
staring up at Tyler with coquettish eyes and a come-hither smile on her frosted
lips. He must have said something hilarious because she threw her head back and
gave a throaty laugh, reaching out to touch his arm.

He didn’t brush her off or politely back away. Instead, he
moved closer to her and in doing so Mina could see his profile. The impish grin
that Mina had come to completely adore was on his face before he said something
else that had Pinky in stitches.

All of the earlier exultation she’d felt seeped through her
pores and evaporated. In its place came the bitterness and dejection she’d
grown so accustomed to prior to meeting him. Of course, deep down she’d known
that it wouldn’t take Tyler long to get bored with her, but damn it, she
thought it might take a little longer than three weeks. Turned out she was only
deluding herself.

Spinning on her heel, she hurried to get out of there before
he noticed her. She could only imagine how awkward that would be—Tyler trying
to find a polite way to get rid of her until he could tell her in private that
their little tryst was over.

Wow, this had just been the day to top all days. First her
unexpected run-in with Daisy and the very real threat she posed, then
overhearing about her complete lack of allure and how unimportant she seemed to
be in the ladies’ room. Now this. Tyler confirming that what she’d overheard
was the truth.

It was just too much.

To her credit, she thought, she made it the whole way to her
car and out of the parking lot before she lost it. The tears ran freely now and
she barely held back a scream.
The hell with it.
No one would hear her
anyway and no one would care even if by some miracle they could, so she let it
out. Until her breath ran out and her throat felt raw and the only sound left
was the ringing in her ears.

Then a soft melody permeated the confines of her car. Her
phone was ringing but she ignored it. There wasn’t a person on the planet she
felt like talking to right now, so whoever it was could just leave a message.

The drive home was a blur and she arrived at her destination
on autopilot. Her phone starting ringing once again when she’d parked the car
and got out. Mentally telling the caller to piss off, she shoved her cell into
her pocket and jogged up the stairs to her apartment.

Once inside she slammed the door, threw her purse down and
leaned back against the door’s hard surface, just listening to the sound of her
harsh breathing.

This was always the worst feeling. Like her skin was a
prison keeping her from going everywhere at once. Frustration, anger, betrayal
and helplessness coalesced inside her, forming a poison that felt like it was
rotting through her veins. She could see no immediate relief, only time—and
contrary to popular belief, it was nowhere close to being capable of healing
all wounds.

How could she have been so blind? She had been down this
road more times than she could count but she’d still somehow found herself back
in this awful place. Her only defense was that this time she’d genuinely hoped
that Tyler would be different. That the amazing way he made her feel would be a
permanent state of being.

What a fantasy
.

Her cell phone started up its ringing again, vibrating against
her hip. On a frustrated growl she ripped the thing from her pocket and almost
flung it across the room when she saw that it was Tyler. Instead, she just
glared at it as though he’d be able to sense it through the phone until it
stopped ringing. It was then she noticed her two missed calls. One was from
Tyler and one another number she didn’t recognize.

The dread she’d felt earlier when she’d first seen Daisy
fractured and spread. Could it be that Doug had found her already? No, if it
had been him, he would have left her some sort of disturbing message. That was
his modus operandi, so it was possible that she still had some time before he
caught up to her.

But she had a feeling Tyler would keep calling her or maybe
even show up at her apartment if she didn’t answer him. No way was she up to
seeing or actually speaking with him, so she sent him a text telling him that
she’d left the gym early as she wasn’t feeling well and she’d talk to him
tomorrow.

Before he had a chance to reply or call her again, she
turned off her phone. She wanted to lock the entire world out right now and
that especially included Tyler. To think she’d actually been about to tell him
about this entirely complicated and crazy mess she was in. She’d been about to
tell him everything. So maybe the flirtation she’d witnessed tonight between
him and that slutty amazon had been a kind of divine intervention.

This was an opportunity for her to take a deep breath, take
a step back and evaluate what she was really doing with Tyler and what her next
move should be. She couldn’t deny that he did indeed care about her on some
level but she had to face facts—it would never be the way she cared for him.
When he’d proposed their deal, she thought she would be able to handle it, that
she didn’t want to get that close to him either. Now she recognized her thought
processes for what they were.
Total bullshit
.

She’d wanted him so badly that she took him any way she
could get him and she had tried to rationalize her decisions by making herself
believe that this arrangement was all she wanted.