Release (34 page)

She
looked at this wonderful man.  This man who she was so completely in love
with.  She began to wonder how she had gotten lucky enough to find two
such men to love in her life.

He
looked at her watching him, apparently thinking she was going to disagree with
him, and said, “I mean it, Ryann.  I want your word.”

She
smiled, “You have it.”

He
nodded, glad it was settled.  He took a bite of his lo mein.  “So,
any other questions?”

She
sighed too, and took a bite of her spring roll.  Once she swallowed, she
looked up at him, and moved her food to the nightstand.  “Any chance you
want to tell me why we were so…disconnected…last week?”

She
looked at him nervously, wondering how this conversation was going to go. 
Now that she had felt secure in his affection for her, she couldn’t understand
the reason for his distance.

She
waited, and watched him remove his own food from the bed, then he reached out
his hand.  “Come here.”

She
crawled across the bed, and laid down on top of him, straddling his legs with
hers.  She leaned down on his chest, and rested her chin on her hands.

He
stroked her cheek with his finger, and looked at her with tenderness again, but
he also looked a little nervous.  She couldn’t figure it out.

“You
know my father died when I was 15,” he started.

She
stilled, and nodded.

“He
was…a great father.  As you know, he taught me how to work with wood,” he
murmured, his eyes taking on a faraway look, remembering the past.

“But
I think he was probably an even greater husband….he and my mom loved each other
so much.  They made an incredible team.  They always supported each
other.  There was a lot of laughter in our house.  And a lot of
fights,” he chuckled.  “We definitely lived passionately…a bunch of crazy
artist types,” he smiled.

He
was quiet for a few moments, then still looking off into space, he said, “I
decided early on that I would never marry.”

Ryann
swallowed, trying to work through the pain those words caused her.  She
knew she needed to love him as he was.  If he never wanted to marry her,
she could live with that…she would take him anyway she could have him.  Or
was he telling her he didn’t want a long term relationship?  No, all of
his words and actions made her believe he wanted her.

“I
saw the pain that my mom experienced after losing my dad.  I imagine you
know what that feels like,” he said now looking at her, touching her face
again.  She leaned into his hand, and kissed his palm.  “I never
wanted to go through that kind of pain.  I was pretty much resolved never
to fall in love like that.  It only makes you hurt when you lose the
person.  And even though my mom remarried, I thought, who wants to go
through that, right?” he whispered.

He
took another moment, then said, “And then…I met you.  And I found you so
goddamn gorgeous, so beautiful, and I just…fucking
wanted
you, all to
myself.  You turned me into a lust crazed fool in the first two hours of
knowing you.”

She
smiled sweetly at him.

He
chuckled.  “My little sex kitten.”

He
became serious again.  “When I learned you were a widow, in that
conversation with my aunt and uncle, it was like my first thought was, ‘fuck,
this woman lost her
husband
.’  Then my next thought was, ‘but I
want her.’  And for about 30 seconds I struggled in my head with whether I
was going to go after you or not.  Because…I didn’t
want
to be your
second.  I wanted to be your
first
.  God, I’m not even making
any sense,” he said in frustration.

“You
are
my first, Jeremy...in more ways than you know.  Keep going,
baby,” she said, her eyes watering.

“I
wanted to show you that you could find happiness again…and you could find it
with me.  I wanted you to find it with
me
.  I think I wanted
to prove to myself that…I could find happiness too.  That there is life
after the pain of losing someone.  And if I could prove that to you, if I
could give you that happiness, maybe I could convince myself that I could have
that too.” He whispered, “That I could have what I never thought I’d ever
want.”

He
blinked away the emotion from his eyes.  “And I want it, Ryann.  You
make me want it.  You make me want things I never thought I’d want.”

With
her choking back tears, she crawled the rest of the way up his body and clung
to him, burying her face into his neck.  He held her so tightly, she
thought her ribs would break.

He
whispered in her hair, the emotion shaking his voice, “I’ve never been in love,
Ryann.  But last week...” Pause.  “Last week, I realized that
whatever this is I’m feeling for you…it’s new to me.  I’ve never felt it
before…and it freaked me out a little.  And it was never my intention to
pull away from you, but….I was so pissed when you told me what Armand implied,
about you being just a fuck buddy.  God, I was so pissed because I
thought, how many women have I been like that with…and I didn’t want you to
think I thought of you that way.  I never in a million years could think
of you that way.  You’re in a class all your own.”

He
paused to compose himself. “After that conversation, I felt like I needed to
convince you that I didn’t just want you
that
way…that I want you….in
every
way.”  He pulled her face from his neck, and looked at her.  “I want
you in every way possible, baby.  Your mind, your heart, your soul, your
body, your creativity, your feistiness that puts me in my place, your sexy
kitten ways…I want you in
every
way.”

She
grabbed his face and kissed him like she’d never kissed him before, all while
the tears pricked at her eyes.

He
came up for air, and said, “I need you to tell me how you feel.  How do you
want me?  Because if you just want sex, then ok.  I could live with
that, but….”

“You’re
such a friggin’ idiot, Jeremy,” she cried.  “God,” she paused.  “I
love
you…you idiot...in two weeks, which completely defies all logic...I’ve fallen
head over heels in love with you.”  Pause.  “I
love
you,
Jeremy McCallister,” she whispered fiercely, tears streaming down her face.

His
face glowed, as he flipped her onto her back and began kissing her to within an
inch of her life.

She
started giggling, and he stopped kissing her momentarily, then looked her in
the eye.  “Say it again.”

She
laughed, and with a smile splitting her face said, “What?  That you’re a
friggin’ idiot?”

He
growled and pulled her hands up over her head, securing them with one of his
hands.  His heated gaze fastened on her lips, while his other hand
engulfed her breast, plumping it, and plucking at her nipple.

She
went from laughing to gasping within a second.

“Say
it again, Ryann.  I want to hear you say it,” he murmured, still plucking
at her nipple.

“I
love you, Jeremy,” she purred.

He
exhaled harshly.  “Again.”

Now
she smiled.  “I
love
you, Jeremy,” she breathed.

He
replaced his fingers with his mouth and sucked on her nipple.  She bowed
up off the bed meeting his lips, and let out a long satisfied sigh. 

He
stopped and rested his own lips onto her mouth, then said with passion in his
voice, “I am so
fucking
in love with you, Ryann.  You have
completely destroyed me for any other woman...and I couldn’t be happier.”

She
beamed, and he nuzzled her mouth, nibbling at her.  “I have to go
downstairs for something.  Don’t.  Move.  A muscle.”

Then
he bounded up off the bed, grabbed the half full Chinese food containers, and
strode out of the room.

Her
heart was nearly pounding out of her chest given the admission he had just
made.  She giggled with glee and couldn’t stop smiling.  She could
just make out the ding of the microwave down in the kitchen, and wondered what
the hell he was heating up.  Now her heart pounded with anticipation.

He
walked back in carrying a brown paper bag, then kicked the door closed behind
him.

She
noted the gleam in his eye, and that lazy half smile on his lips, the promise
of some incredibly stupendous sex written all over it.

Her
breath hitched, and she became nervous with excitement.

“What
are you doing?” she asked, her eagerness obvious.

He
chuckled.  “Just combining the two things I love,” he said.

Chocolate. 

“Put
your hands above your head, Ryann, and keep them there.  If you move them,
then I’ll tie you to my bed…which I may do anyway,” he murmured as an
afterthought.

Her
anxiety ratcheted up, but her arousal outweighed any other feelings she
had.  She thought she might enjoy being tied to the bed, if he was the one
doing the tying.  Being at his mercy did all kinds of strange things to
her insides, and another wave of arousal hit her causing the rate of her heart
to kick up even more.

She
did as he asked, and watched for his next command.

“Now
spread your legs for me, baby.  As wide as you can go.  I want to see
that pretty pussy that belongs to me.”

She
swallowed.  “I haven’t taken a shower yet…”

“Baby,
we’re about to get down and dirty, and then I’m finally going to give you that
good old fashioned fucking in the shower that I promised you so long ago. 
You’ll be clean soon enough.  Now, open your legs.  I’ve missed seeing
you.”

He
finished his speech, then put the mystery bag on the nightstand, and opened her
legs even wider, pushing her knees back.  He took a moment to look at her,
then shook his head slowly, as if he couldn’t believe something.

He
looked at her with tenderness and love, mixed with a good amount of lust, and
said, “You are so fucking hot, baby.  I’ve been thinking about doing this
ever since we looked at that first painting together.”

He
reached into the bag, and pulled out a jar of chocolate fudge…from the same
Chocolatier that he got the truffles.  This apparently was the rest of the
gift he hadn’t given her that night. 

“I
got this for you to use before I left for Chicago, but...I was an idiot and
didn’t handle things very well...but I’m about to make up for it.”

She
looked at the jar, and swallowed.  “My dream…” she whispered.

“It’s
my dream, too, baby.”

“No,”
she cleared her throat and blushed.  “I dreamed you would do this…”

He
stilled, and his eyes glittered.  “Tell me… Every detail... Because I’m
about to make your dream come true.”

She
cleared her throat again, clearly embarrassed.  “What about the sheets?”

“I’ll
get new ones,” his mouth kicked up into a promising smile.  “Start
talking.  What did I do to you?”

She
hesitated, then said, “You poured it on me.”

“Where?”

“The
inside of my arms…on the inside of my elbows.”

He
raised an eyebrow.  “Interesting.”

He
opened the jar, and dipped a spoon in the warmed liquid, then dribbled some
where she had mentioned.  He put the jar down, then crawled over, kneeling
between her legs.  He was relishing this.  She could tell by the
expression on his face.

He
put his hands down on either side of her rib cage, then leaned forward and
slowly sucked the chocolate off of one arm.  She was beginning to feel
like that melted chocolate…warm and fluid, a slow heat bubbling inside of her.

He
moved over to the other arm and did the same, tingles running through her body
and the slight tickle his mouth made.

He
licked his lips, then whispered, “Where else?”

“My…nipples,”
she whispered.

He
smiled, and grabbed the jar again, and dribbled chocolate all over her nipples
and areolas.  The warm thick liquid stimulated her, and it felt
wonderful.  He put the jar back, and began slowly lapping at one nipple,
while smearing and rubbing the chocolate into the other.

She
bowed up off the bed.  “Jeremy…”

“Mmm,”
he hummed.  He released her nipple then put the fingers covered with
chocolate in her mouth.  “Suck…” he said.

She
did.  It was damn good chocolate, and it was even better on his
fingers.  But there was another place she wanted to suck the chocolate off
of.  She would get her turn…she would demand it.

While
she cleaned his fingers with her tongue, he cleaned her other nipple with his,
then kneeled back and grabbed the jar once more.

“Let’s
see…are there any other places that need a good tongue licking?”  He
waited for her response, looking like a kid in a candy store…or a chocolate
one, in this case.

“My
belly button,” she said, her voice sounding breathy.

He
did as she asked, sipping the chocolate from the tiny cup of her belly button.

“There’s
one more place I’m waiting for you to mention, Ryann.  I want to hear you
say the word.”

Her
body was completely over heated, and her face was even more so.  Saying
that particular word always embarrassed her…and he knew it.

He
watched her inner struggle, and smiled wickedly.  He began dribbling around
the place she couldn’t name, letting the warm deliciousness hit the crease at
the top of her thigh.  It began dripping down, right near her opening.

She
was gasping lightly, her breath coming out in short breaths.  He dribbled
it on the other crease of her leg, then watched her.  “Say it, Ryann.”

He
waited, then, “Where should I dribble this warm…delicious…chocolate.  Say
it.”

She
was lightheaded from her accelerated breathing, and croaked in a whisper, “My
pussy.”

He
smiled.  “I love hearing you say that word.”

He
took meticulous care, and dribbled the warm liquid on her clit.  She
moaned loudly, and then he took the heated spoon and smeared it all over her,
from her clit to her very wet opening, mixing the flavors, like he was stirring
batter in a bowl.