Release (21 page)

“Thank God you’re okay,” I said, brushing my thumb over her hand.

“I’m more than okay,” she said. “I’ve never felt better. Even though I probably always had it in me to stand up to him, I never realized I was worth standing up for until I met you.”

I unbuckled my seat belt and got back on my knees next to the stretcher, resting my head in her lap.

“Sir, you need—”

“I’m staying right here.” I cut the stocky, balding paramedic down with a look.

I hadn’t wanted it to happen this way, but with Matt back in jail, I could go into the surgery tomorrow knowing Samara was safe. Now I just needed Drew to make it through surgery and for his body to accept my kidney.

I took the ice pack away from my cheek and touched the tender skin there, wincing.

“So this must be what you feel like every time you fight at a game,” I said, turning to Orion.

We sat side by side in his bed at his parents’ house. I’d been treated and released from the hospital and was glad I got to spend the night before his surgery with him.

“I’m used to it, though,” he said, brushing the hair away from my forehead. “And I’m built to take it. Women shouldn’t know what it feels like to be hit by a man.”

He raised my hand to his lips and kissed my knuckles. For the first time since he’d come home, we were alone in his bed. Diane had convinced Olivia to go home for the night and get some rest before the surgeries. Chloe was there with her.

“I’m not too sore for sex,” I said, meeting his eyes with mine. “In fact, I kind of need it tonight. It makes me feel closer to you and I want to be as close as I can get.”

He turned his body to face me.

“First I need to ask you something,” he said, taking a deep breath. “And I’m nervous.”

“Don’t be,” I said, rubbing his arm to reassure him. “We can talk about anything.”

He reached for my hand and took it.

“I know it’s only been a few months, but … I want to marry you. I’ve saved a lot of money. We’d be secure, but I won’t make an NHL salary the next several years like I’d planned.” I saw uncertainty in his eyes as he looked at me. “So I’ll have a smaller salary and half as many kidneys as I currently do. But I’d be a good husband and father. I love you, and—”

“Yes,” I said, tears falling from my eyes when I blinked. “Yes. Yes. I love you. Nothing else matters. I don’t care how much money you make or where we live or whether I even have a ring. This – right here,” I put my palm on his chest, “is all I need.”

He broke out in a wide grin, his eyes glistening. “I got you a ring. I was supposed to get it out for this, wasn’t I?”

I smiled through my tears. “You did?”

He rolled to the side of the bed and fished through a bag on the floor, pulling out a small black box. My heart hammered with excitement as he slid off the bed, box in hand.

“I’ll try to do it right this time,” he said, getting down on one knee next to the bed. “I promise you everything I am for the rest of our lives. Will you marry me, Samara?”

His tousled hair and bare, chiseled chest made him boyish and sexy at the same time. He was looking at me expectantly; hopefully. I’d never felt lighter or happier.

“Yes.” The word croaked its way out of my tightened throat and I cried a fresh round of tears. I flew into his arms and he pulled me against him. I’d thrown him off balance and we both tumbled to the floor. Climbing into his lap, I straddled him and looked down into the blue eyes I loved so much.

“Let’s get married this summer,” he said, his hands sliding up the backs of my thighs.

“Will you be all the way recovered by then?”

“Should be, yeah.”

Thoughts of his surgery sucked away my carefree joy in an instant. He was having an organ removed tomorrow. And no matter what anyone said about the procedure being safe, I was worried. Not just for Orion, but for Drew too.

“I’ll be fine,” he said softly, reaching up to tuck my hair behind my ear. “Let’s enjoy this night, because I have to take it easy for a couple weeks after the surgery.”

“Meaning …?”

He grabbed my ass and I squealed with surprise.

“Meaning no sex for at least two weeks,” he said, moving a hand up my back. I squealed again when he flipped me onto my back and kissed me, his weight a welcome reminder that he was here and he was mine.

“The ring,” I said when we both paused for breath. “Can I put it on?”

His laugh danced across the tender skin on my bruised cheek. “Definitely. Let’s turn the lights on so you can see the goods.”

“No, I can see it later. I just want it on my finger.”

He felt for the box and found it, flipping it open. When he took my left hand in his, my heart swelled with happiness. He brought it to his lips and kissed my fingers, an expression of reverence on his face.

I’d never dreamed love would find me in such a deep, blissful way. The scruffy dark brown ‘No-Shave November’ beard and dark blue eyes of my future husband were the most beautiful, perfect sight I’d ever seen.

He slid the ring on my finger and made love to me on the floor, slow and sweet. When he laced his fingers through mine, pressing my hands to the floor above our heads, tears burned my eyes. I was overwhelmed with joy, hope and fear.

For the first time in my life, I understood what love felt like. Not just getting it, but giving it. Whether or not we were officially entwined by marriage, Orion was my family. I couldn’t bear the thought of losing him. This surgery had to go well, because along with Drew’s and Orion’s, my life was also on the line.

The dark purple circles under Olivia’s eyes seemed to lighten when she smiled at me.

“I can never repay you for this,” she said, taking my hand.

“No repayment needed,” I said. “We’re family.”

She looked at the clock on the wall and got up from her seat on the edge of my hospital bed.

“I’m gonna go be with Drew now,” she said, taking a deep breath.

“How’s he doing?”

“He’s good. Excited about getting Uncle Orion’s kidney. He asked if he’ll be a good hockey player when he wakes up.”

I smiled. “Tell him I love him.”

Samara walked in the room, her face lined with fatigue. We’d been up late last night celebrating. I looked at her left hand, where she wore her engagement ring but had the stone turned in to her palm. We’d decided to share the news later.

“Hey,” she said, smiling at me. “Just thought you might like to see these guys.”

Ryke, Luke and Niko walked in behind her, all wearing jeans and baseball hats and looking as tired as Samara.

“What are you guys doing here?” I asked. “Didn’t you just get back to Chicago late last night?”

“We’re not missing this,” Ryke said.

Samara and Olivia left the room and closed the door behind them. Niko sat down on the edge of my bed.

“Nice dress,” he said.

I looked down at my hospital gown. “Hey, thanks.”

The room was quiet for a few seconds, the tension growing thicker as time passed.

“I heard having a kidney removed makes you grow tits and become impotent,” Niko said. “That fuckin’ sucks, man.”

His humor cut through the tension and we all laughed.

“Can you give me some advice on what to do when you can’t get it up?” I asked him.

“Fuck no, man,” he said. “You’ll have to ask Luke. Mine’s like a steel rod pretty much all the time.”

A middle-aged nurse with glasses perched low on her nose had walked in when he was speaking, and she gave Niko an admonishing look.

“Gentlemen, we need to get him prepped for surgery,” she said.

Ryke approached and put a hand on my shoulder.

“Listen, brother. We’re always gonna be your team. No matter what. You’re a good man, and—” His voice caught and he paused to clear his throat. “And I’m proud of you. Whatever you and your family need, it’s yours.”

I nodded my appreciation, unable to come up with any words that would adequately express it.

“We’ll see you when it’s over, man,” Luke said, giving me a one-armed hug.

Ryke and Luke headed for the door and Niko met my eyes before leaning in to hug me. I caught a whiff of the leather hockey glove smell I knew so well.

“Seriously,” he said in my ear. “I’m proud of you too. Your ass is gonna be sitting in a rocking chair with me one day talking about the old days when we played together. I love you.”

He pulled away and met my eyes one more time, his face streaked with tears.

“Love you too, brother,” I said. He nodded and turned for the door.

Samara was waiting there, and she squeezed Niko’s hand before walking back in.

The nurse looked like she was about to send Samara away.

“Can I have a second with her?” I asked.

The nurse’s eyes softened and she nodded. “Just a bit, though. We have to stay on schedule since the surgeries happen concurrently.”

Samara approached and leaned over me, her lips feather light as she kissed my forehead.

“You got this, baby,” she said, kissing my lips one last time. “I’ll see you on the other side. I love you.”

“Love you, too.” I took her hand and ran my finger over the two carat solitaire near her palm. She smiled and a current passed between us.

The nurse stood to the side, waiting. Samara squeezed my hand and let go, walking away. She was so strong. She’d assured my mom that she’d be with me throughout my recovery so Mom could be with Drew and Olivia.

I closed my eyes, getting into a zen state of mind. When I woke up from this surgery, I wanted Samara’s face to be the first thing I saw. My future wife. The corners of my lips turned up in a smile.

I made it out the door of Orion’s room before I threw a hand over my mouth to stifle a sob. I’d promised myself I wouldn’t break down in front of him. But now it was safe, and I turned toward the wall, letting the tears take over.

Pressing my forearms to the wall, I leaned against them and cried. I wished there was something I could do for Orion and Drew. I’d seen Drew this morning, so fragile and tiny in the hospital bed. The poor kid was fighting for his life when he should have been playing with his friends and having fun.

Loving people opened me up to worrying about them, and I was feeling assaulted by worry right now. All I could do was wait.

A hand touched my shoulder and I turned to see Kate giving me a small smile.

“Come here,” she said, opening her arms.

I turned to her and she held me, smoothing her hand over my hair as I cried.

“It’s okay,” she said softly. “It’s all gonna be okay.”

“Thank you for being here,” I said, pulling away and wiping my sleeve across my cheeks to dry them. “You guys are such good friends to Orion.”

“We’re friends to both of you,” she said, putting her hands on my shoulders. “I don’t want to intrude, but are you okay? I’m worried about you.”

My fingertips instinctively went up to brush my swollen cheek.

“I was attacked last night, but I’m fine,” I said. “I’m completely fine. I just want to focus on Orion and Drew.”

“Okay,” Kate said, her brow furrowed. “Then let’s get to the waiting room so he doesn’t see you upset when they take him to the operating room.”

I nodded and we headed for the waiting room together.

“Can I tell you a secret?” I whispered.

“Of course.”

“You can’t tell anyone – even Ryke.”

“Okay.”

I turned my left hand so my palm faced up, the round diamond on my ring sparkling bright.

She smiled and covered her mouth with her hand.

“Samara.” She put an arm around me and pulled me close. “Congratulations.”

I was taken aback when we walked into the waiting room. Around a dozen of Ryke’s teammates were there, and all of his coaches. It hit me how much he was giving up. These men cared about him deeply, and he cared for them the same way.

I sat in silence, with Kate on one side of me and Dell on the other. They brought me coffee and seemed to understand I couldn’t make small talk right now. I stroked my thumb over the diamond Orion had put on my finger last night, replaying every word and emotion over and over.

People were in and out of the waiting room, but I stayed in my chair. The hospital staff had restricted access to just Orion’s family, close friends and his team. Olivia, Diane and Chloe were in a private waiting room, but I wanted to stay with Orion’s teammates.

“Doing okay?” Kate asked.

I nodded. “Hopefully not much longer.”

Ryke sat on the other side of Kate, his elbows resting on his knees, his feet spread far apart on the floor.

“You guys want lunch or anything?” he asked.

Just the mention of food made my stomach turn in protest.

“No,” I said. “But thanks.”

A doctor in green scrubs walked into the room.

“Samara Cross?” he said, scanning the faces.

“Here,” I said, my heart pounding. “I’m here.”

He approached me and got down on his haunches so we were at eye level.

“It went great. He’s being moved to recovery right now.”

I let out a deep breath. “And Drew?”

“He’s still in surgery. That’s about all I can tell you. You’ll have to see his mother to find out anything more.”

“Everything’s okay, right?”

He put a hand on my knee and smiled, the corners of his eyes wrinkling. “Everything’s going very well.”

“When can I see Orion?”

“I’ll send a nurse in to get you once he’s all settled in.”

“Thank you for taking such good care of him,” I said, smiling through my relieved tears.

“Absolutely. It was an honor.”

There were smiles and hugs all around when he left. I introduced myself to all the teammates and coaches I hadn’t met yet, thanking them for being here.

A nurse came to get me and led me into Orion’s recovery room. I pulled up a chair to sit by his bedside and took his hand in mine, its warmth reassuring me. Now we just needed Drew to get through his surgery.

My eyelids were so damn heavy. I wanted to open them, but it took strength I didn’t seem to have. I tried but faded back into sleep.