Release (23 page)

* * *

They spent nearly three weeks with Gordic and Winda, and Ariana found the time relaxing and recuperative, just as Keirth had told her she would. She helped Winda around the space station and Winda taught her a little about cooking, which Ariana had no experience with. She found that she actually quite liked it. It was like creating a painting or a work of art, picking spices instead of colors. The best part was that when you were done, you got to eat it. She watched Winda quilt as well, but found she had little desire to learn to do it. It seemed so difficult. But she assisted by cutting out pieces of fabric and doing some pinning. While she and Winda worked, they talked. Sometimes, they had long conversations about the things that Risciter had done to her and Winda’s sister’s experience that left them both in tears. Sometimes, they had giggling conversations about men. With each passing day, Ariana felt more whole. She gained confidence about her ability to handle life away from the sector and to fulfill her plans with Keirth.

She and Keirth spent every night in the same bed, staying awake in the darkness and talking about what they would do. Keirth felt they would need to get rid of the ship they were currently using in case it had been identified. He seemed optimistic that with a different ship and a steady stream of various kinds of work, they could spend their time evading the authorities and roaming around the galaxy. To Ariana, it sounded like every day would be an adventure. And she wanted to be with Keirth as well.

They still hadn’t gone much farther than kissing, and sometimes it filled Ariana with an ache for something more as she lay in the circle of his arms. But sometimes she was grateful. While she rarely thought of Risciter when she was with Keirth, one night, as they’d been furiously kissing, his hands had roamed over her body, and the way he’d caressed her breast had reminded her of Risciter’s running a knife over it. She’d felt completely frozen with fear and pushed Keirth away. He’d been sweet about it but seemed to take it as further evidence that they should take things even slower, which both relieved Ariana and frustrated her.

Sometimes, when they were talking, he’d tell her about his mother or his childhood, and she realized that Keirth was almost as disturbed over the things Risciter had done as she was. They were quite a pair, weren’t they? Both virgins. Both traumatized about sex. Both completely clueless about how to proceed. But that too was comforting as well as frustrating.

One night, over dinner, Keirth was sharing some of their ideas for making money with Gordic, not all of which were legal. Winda had gotten a little upset, saying she didn’t think they should be making plans to do things that were against the law. “You’re asking for trouble doing that,” Winda said.

Keirth had pointed out that he was already a wanted criminal, although he wasn’t featured as prominently on the nets as he’d been when they arrived. Risciter’s death was quickly becoming old news.

“About that,” said Winda. “You acted in self-defense, Keirth. And Ariana’s a witness to that. Maybe you should turn yourself in. You’d be acquitted.”

Ariana was shocked. “He would not.” This was the first time she remembered actively disagreeing with Winda.

“Why wouldn’t he?” said Winda. “You’re an eyewitness. You’d tell them what happened.”

“They wouldn’t believe me.” Ariana was shaking.

“Of course they would,” said Winda. “They’d have to. When you testify in court, you’re under oath.”

“You’ve never been to the sector,” Ariana said. “You don’t understand the way it is. No one would believe that Risciter did the things he did. No one. And I...I couldn’t talk about it in front of a whole courtroom of people.” She imagined her parents and sister and Aunt Tildy staring at her while she explained what Risciter had done to her. In detail. No. No way.

“But if you didn’t talk about it,” said Winda, “then Keirth would be convicted of a crime that isn’t his fault.”

Keirth had ended the entire conversation by quietly stating he wasn’t going to turn himself in. He’d squeezed Ariana’s hand under the table and later he’d promised she’d never have to go through something like that, not for him.

But it was clear that Winda didn’t approve of doing illegal things. A few days later, she proposed something completely different. She offered for Keirth and Ariana to work shipping her quilts. Currently, she said that they used independent contractors. Gordic would load up a ship full of quilts and take them to a rendezvous point where the shippers would pick them up and distribute them. She thought Keirth and Ariana could do a better job. Plus she liked the idea of seeing them. They would come back periodically to visit.

Ariana liked the idea, but later when she and Keirth talked about it, he said that there were two big problems with it. One was that they still needed another ship, and the other was that, as legitimate shippers, they’d have to register their ship and their names with the authorities. But when he saw how disappointed Ariana seemed, he said he’d try to work something out. He went to Gordic the next day, and that night, he told Ariana what the plan was.

Gordic still had some contacts from his days as a smuggler, although he didn’t advertise this to Winda. He had set something up with a man who could get them new identities, untraceable by the authorities. They’d do a job for this man, smuggling some weapons in the old ship. He’d pay them and give them the new identities. Then they’d use the money to buy a new ship and register it under their new names. They could then start shipping quilts for Winda and Gordic. Keirth wanted to do the smuggling alone. He was worried about Ariana’s safety. But she wouldn’t let him. She was excited about the prospect of doing something as crazy as smuggling weapons anyway, and she wanted in.

So the two of them prepared for the job. Before Ariana knew it, they were waving goodbye to Winda and Gordic and boarding their ship again. They’d be back soon, and Ariana would be glad to see them, but she felt a strong pull to get back out into space, and she was glad to be travelling again.

* * *

Keirth was checking over the crates of guns in the cargo bay. They’d been in hyperspace for about a half hour, headed for the planet Eron. Ariana watched him. “There anything wrong with the guns?”

Keirth shrugged, looking up from the crate. “Everything seems to be in order. I don’t know. Monthow seemed nervous to me. I got a kind of funny feeling, like something’s off.”

Itrick Monthow was a short, fat man who was going a little bald. He’d paced and spit out instructions to them rapid-fire. “Here’s how it works. You take the guns to Eron. You get the money for the guns. You come back here. You take your percentage out of the take, and you give me the rest of the money. If everything seems square, I give you the papers with your new names then. Clear?”

 Keirth had tried to negotiate for Monthow to give them the papers before they left, but Monthow wouldn’t budge. He didn’t know them, hadn’t worked with them before, and despite the fact that Gordic vouched for them, he wanted insurance that they wouldn’t take his money and run. Or so he said. So they had to play it his way.

“What could be off?” Ariana asked, coming over to peer into the crate of guns over Keirth’s shoulder.

Keirth shook his head. “I don’t know. Nothing, I guess.” He shut the crate and turned to Ariana. “Maybe I’m the one who’s nervous. I mean, here I am, planning out the rest of my life with the daughter of a duke. This is not exactly what I thought my life would turn into.”

“I make you nervous, Keirth?” Ariana teased.

“Always, sweetheart.” He wrapped his arms around her waist and picked her up, settling her on the gun crate. Then he leaned down and kissed her.

Ariana ran her hands over Keirth’s shoulders, thinking of the time they kissed in the ship, when touching him had been such a new experience. He was still so solid and firm under her fingertips. She ran her hands up and down his chest, comfortable touching him now.

Keirth pulled back, gazing down at her, one hand on her cheek. “We’re really doing this, aren’t we?”

“You don’t want to back out now, do you?” She grinned up at him. “Maybe I make you too nervous.”

“Of course I don’t want to back out,” said Keirth. “Are you sure you don’t want to? You sure you want someone like me? Someone rough around the edges?”

“Keirth, don’t be ridiculous. I’m in love with you, rough edges and all.”

He rubbed his thumb gently against her jaw. “Yeah.” His voice was husky. “I’m in love with you too.” He pulled her to her feet. “Maybe it’s time to stop being nervous.” His eyes searched her own.

She was right up against him, her hands in his. “Do you mean...?”

He raised an eyebrow. “What do you think? You wanna make love in hyperspace?”

Ariana felt a kind of giddy thrill go through her. Underneath, panic stabbed at her stomach. “Yes,” she said, but she couldn’t deny that the thought was scary in all kinds of big ways.

They kissed again, but their kissing seemed a little sloppy, a little hurried, a little frightened.

Ariana looked around the cargo bay. Did he mean to do it here? “Should we, um, go somewhere else?”

“You mean like a bedroom or something?” he said. He wasn’t looking at her either. He was studying the gun crate.

She looked at it. “Unless you want to do it on the crate?”

His gaze snapped back to hers. “Uh, no. Let’s...” He tugged on her hand and led her out of the cargo bay.

Ariana’s heart thumped in her chest as they walked. She wasn’t sure why everything suddenly seemed so awkward. There hadn’t been any awkwardness all those nights they’d slept in each other’s arms. This was a natural progression, so why did it frighten her? She’d wanted this, so why was she feeling so unsure of herself?

The beds on the ship were narrow. They both sat down on it and looked at each other.

Well. Someone should do something, right? Ariana started to reach over to touch Keirth’s shoulder again.

At the same moment, he leaned over to kiss her.

They stopped short of colliding with each other.

They both laughed.

“Uh, yeah,” said Keirth. “Guess it’s one thing to say you won’t be nervous. It’s another thing entirely to stop being nervous.”

She giggled. “Yeah.” She scooted closer to him on the bed and lay her head on his shoulder. “I guess I’m not sure what to do. Are we supposed to start ripping each other’s clothes off or something?”

He put his arm around her. “I doubt there are rules, exactly. There’s no way we’re ‘supposed’ to do it.”

She turned her face up to his. “Yeah, and neither of us really has any experience, so I guess we should just...”

He put his lips against hers. They fell back on the bed.

Ariana hit her head against the headboard. “Ouch.” She sat up, rubbing the bump.

“Sorry,” said Keirth.

“No, it wasn’t your fault.” She lay back down more carefully, so that she and Keirth faced each other, both lying on their sides. She put a hand on his chest and kissed him again.

This time, they both seemed to relax a little more. The kiss deepened. Keirth’s tongue eased its way into her mouth. She loved that, the way it made her feel consumed by sensation. Her hand traveled over Kierth’s arm, feeling his taut muscle, his chest, and his back.

And Keirth was touching her as well, his hand traveling over her waist, half-tickling her, sending goosebumps up her torso. His hand moved higher until he was cupping her breast.

She let out a tiny gasp.

Keirth stopped kissing her. “Okay?” he murmured, and she knew he was worried about the last time he’d touched her here.

“Definitely okay.” His hand was just resting there, but even so, it sent little tendrils of pleasure through her.

His fingers began to move over her breast, caressing and slightly squeezing it, and that felt even nicer.

Her breathing quickened, and she sought his lips again.

While they kissed, his hand roamed over her other breast. She shifted a little to make sure he could get to it. His fingers danced back and forth between them, rubbing over her hardening nipples, which were pressing against the jumpsuit she was wearing. Ariana was transfixed by the feel of it. It was sweetness and delight. It felt so good. She felt even more relaxed, like she wanted to open herself to him entirely, just come undone under his fingers. For quite some time, she only kissed him and enjoyed his touch.

Then a thought occurred to her. Maybe she was being greedy. Maybe there were things she should be doing to him to make him feel good too. Her hand was currently flat against stomach. She’d been so distracted by his hands on her breasts that she had stopped moving it a while ago. She dragged her hand lower, searching for the part of Keirth that she’d felt rigid against her in the night so many times.

When her hand closed over it, it was hot and stiff. She could feel it through Keirth’s trousers, like it was trying to burst out on its own. She wrapped her fingers around it.

Keirth choked.

She released it. “Was that bad?”

He laughed, his hand on hers, urging it back to where she’d been. “Surprising. But very good.”

With his hand over hers, he guided her to stroke him—up and down over the hard length of him. She enjoyed the sound of Keirth’s ragged breath as she did so, the way he sighed with each touch.

Ariana thought that she might have been able to do that for a very, very long time. There was something very intriguing about having it in her hand like that. It pulsed against her, like it was alive in and of itself, some subservient being attached to Keirth. And she very much enjoyed affecting him the way she was, knowing that she was bringing him pleasure. But he stopped her, mumbling something about waiting, which she didn’t entirely understand. Were they going to stop then? Didn’t he want to do it after all?

But Keirth’s hands were back on her breasts then, and he was fumbling with the clasp on her jumpsuit. She had a horrible flash suddenly. She was back on Kush, and Risciter was glaring down at her, jeering, “Easy access.”

She shuddered.

Keirth must have felt her body stiffen. He pulled away from her. “What?”