Relapse: A Novel (28 page)

Beijing’s eyes got watery, and she could hear the tears in her sister’s voice.

“You know it’s been about six months since the day I called and you came to rescue me. I vowed that I would never put another drug in my body, so help me God. If you could at the drop of the dime, and despite everything I’ve done to you and said to you, come to my rescue because you heard me crying, then goddamnit I can get my shit together. Now it’s my turn to help you.” She paused briefly. “Lootchee isn’t any good for you, B.”

“Tell me something I don’t know.”

“He can make you feel your best but it’s always only temporary. In Narcotics Anonymous, they call it highest of the highs and the lowest of the lows. Just like the narcotics, deep in your heart you
know he’s bad for you, but you still are willing to ignore the fact for the sensation he gives you.”

Beijing listened to what her sister was saying. It was making some sense

“Eventually, you will abandon the ones you love for him, and your job. Nothing will seem to matter but him.”

Beijing thought about how she’d almost left her girls in Houston and how she’d call in to work for him and how his influence had made her do things that she knew she shouldn’t have, like launder money.

“I really hate to admit it.” She paused. “But I think you may be right.”

“I know I’m right,” Paris insisted. “From this point on, I say we refer to that nigga as crack. That’s his new name: Crack.”

Beijing laughed but she knew that what Paris was saying had some truth to it. “So how do I kick crack?”

“You have to decide when you are sick and tired of it. What it does to you, how it makes you feel afterward, and the things it makes you do. Once you hit bottom then you will kick it. I promise. You may have a few relapses before you’re able to finally kick him for good. And we use anything to prompt relapse.”

The next morning, just as Corday had promised, his driver was there to pick her up for her client meeting.

After it was over, Beijing took in an afternoon of shopping, courtesy of Corday and his American Express card.

In the midst of the spree she was compelled—for reasons she couldn’t have explained even if she had to—to call Lootchee. It seemed like being in a city where he’d been known to hang out drew her to dial the number.

He answered on the second ring. “What’s up?”

“Hey you.” Beijing was happy to hear his voice. Something
about the man just did it for her, regardless of how insensitive he could be at times. “What are you doing?”

“I’m on the highway.” His voice sounded as if he didn’t have a worry in the world.

He must have gotten her message and wanted to surprise her, Beijing thought.

“How long before you get here?” She was excited. “I miss you—even though you drive me crazy sometimes.”

“What are you talking about? I’m on my way to Florida,” Lootchee said, bursting her bubble again.

“You did get my text, didn’t you? And if so,” she said with attitude, “why aren’t you on the way to Atlanta to see me?”

“Because I don’t see a reason to waste my time driving to see anybody who’s not willing to spend a couple of g’s to show me some love.”

Beijing was almost speechless. She didn’t know what to say.
This is what this shit is about? Because I didn’t spend fucking three grand to come and see him. Is he fucking kidding me?

“You can’t be serious?” she said.

“Yeah, I’m dead-ass serious. I would’ve ridden across the country on a moped to come and get you. Don’t you know I done had bitches paying three thousand one-way to fly in to see me, and you going to cry about paying it one night to see me?”

“You said it wasn’t that serious. And if it was, then why didn’t you send a car for me?”

The phone was silent, and then the next thing she heard was her phone ringing. Lootchee had hung up on her and now he was calling her back. So she thought anyway, and this time she was ready to rip into his ass. But she was going to have to wait to get off her frustrations. It was Corday calling.

Beijing wanted to let the call roll over to voice mail, but how could she? She was in his car, being driven by his driver, and had just spent his money. Taking a deep breath, she thumbed the
TALK
button.

“Hello.” Her voice was low, hesitant.

“How are you, beautiful? I hope you’re finished burning the credit card up, because I have something special planned for this evening.”

“Everything is good,” she lied, trying to put a spark in her voice to disguise her feelings.

“You sure?”

“Totally.” That wasn’t even close to the truth.

“I hope you bought yourself some nice things?” He sounded as if he genuninely meant it.

“I did.” She wiped away another tear.

“Well, you still don’t sound like you’re happy.”

“I am,” she tried to assure him, even though she couldn’t quite convince herself.

“I tell you what. We’ll talk about whatever’s bothering you at dinner.”

She took a deep breath, and then exhaled. “Sounds good to me.”

“If there is something else you want to treat yourself to while I wrap up here, feel free.” A rap video was being shot at Corday’s club. She could hear the commotion in the background.

“Okay, sure thing. You don’t have to tell me twice. Well, get back to work and call me when you are on the way.” Beijing rushed him off the phone before she lost it.

She disconnected the call and was in tears. The driver asked, “Ms. Lee, everything is fine?”

“Marvelous,” she sniffed. “Simply marvelous.”

She pulled out her phone and texted Lootchee.
YOU NEVER CEASE TO AMAZE ME. THANKS FOR BREAKING MY HEART AND HURTING MY FEELINGS YET ANOTHER TIME!

Back at the hotel, Beijing went to take care of her clients. She was trying to hold it together enough to work but couldn’t focus at all. Still, she managed to quickly get her clients checked in to the hotel. Once they were all settled, she decided to go to her room,
charge her phone, and lie down for a nap to get her mind off Lootchee—only to be awakened by her doorbell ringing.

She popped up to see who it was: Corday.
Damnit, I wanted to be waiting for him downstairs
.

She had Corday sit in the living room of her suite while she went into the bathroom to get herself ready for their dinner date.

As she was retouching her makeup, Corday called out, “Your cell phone is ringing.” She dashed across the room to check the caller ID—a private number. “Hello.”

“I broke your heart?”

“Hello.” She acted like she couldn’t hear him.

“Yeah, can you hear me?”

“Hello.” Beijing kept up the charade. “Hello, hello, hello!”

“Yeah, B,” he called out to her, “it’s me.”

“Whoever this is, stop playing on my phone.” She hung up feeling somewhat recharged. It felt good to fuck with him for a change.

Lootchee called back three more times. When she didn’t bother to pick up, she felt more in control.

The next day she continued spending Corday’s money and even though he put a lot of effort into showing her a good time, she still could not keep her mind off Lootchee.

It was time for her to wrap up her stay in Atlanta. As soon as Corday dropped her off at the airport to head to Durham, before even checking in, she called Lootchee. Just like that her plans had changed and he was on his way to pick her up.

Beijing got in the car without looking at Lootchee and crossed her arms.

“So you not speaking to me?” he asked. “You don’t pick up my calls, claim your phone is broken, and now you not talking to me?”

“You got that right.” She nodded. “But why should I? You dumped me without giving me a damn explanation!”

“I can’t blame you. You have every right to be mad at me, baby. I’m just crazy and fucked up in the head sometimes. I felt like you were neglecting me by being out with your girls not even thinking about me. And I just thought,
Fuck it! I don’t need her
.”

Beijing finally looked at him.

He gazed into her eyes. “But I was wrong. I need you like the sky needs the sun, hell needs water, and the world needs peace. I could go on.”

“Really?” she asked. She felt herself starting to melt.

“Baby, I’m going to make it up to you. I promise you that. And I’m gonna start right now, right here.” He removed a jewelry box from the glove compartment. He opened it up and Beijing’s mouth dropped. It was a beautiful charm bracelet with gold and diamond trinkets.

“I love it,” It was odd but gorgeous.

“It has a diamond Chinese pagoda charm from Beijing,” he said. Then he leaned over and kissed her, and Beijing couldn’t even remember the pain and hurt she had felt. She became warm and soft inside.

Beijing had been chilling in Atlanta with him for over a week now, and when she wasn’t working, the make-up sex was hot, passionate, and intense. Lootchee made love to her at least twice a day, and fucked her brains out three times before the sun started pushing the rays of light through the partially closed curtains on the eighth day they had been together.

“I might have to pick a fight with you more often,” Beijing said after waking up. The top of the sheets came up just above her navel. Her firm perfect breasts were rising up and down with each breath as she lay on her back. Lootchee lay beside her, watching her. “Last night was incredible.”

Lootchee sported a lopsided grin. “If my memory serves me correctly,” he said, “you weren’t taking any prisoners either. I thought I was going to have a stroke trying to keep up with you.”

He planted a soft kiss on her lips.

“You had a stroke all right. It was long, hard, and steady, and lasted all night.” They both started laughing.

The two went back and forth with playful banter until Lootchee’s cell phone interrupted from the night table.

He let it go to voice mail.

“What time do you—”

This time it was his pager vibrating. Every time his pager went off, Beijing smiled because Lootchee was so old-school.

“You might as well answer it,” she said, trying to shield the fact that she was annoyed by the electronics and the distractions.

He sat up in the bed. “I’ll only be a second.”

The entire conversation was one-sided, and he only asked a series of questions. Beijing ear-hustled from her side of the bed.

“What’s such an emergency?” he asked. “Who was it? Which people?”

Whatever were the answers to those questions caused him to hang up with a frantic look on his face.

He immediately turned to Beijing with weary eyes. His next call was to have his numbers changed.

“What’s wrong, baby?” she asked once he was finished. She had never seen him appear afraid.

“I had met this party planner chick from Virginia at my man’s funeral,” Lootchee explained, “when we were broken up. I was vulnerable.”

When have I ever known him to be vulnerable
, she asked herself but continued to listen.

“The chick’s business had potential and I invested in it. And in return she helped me out with some business ventures I had going on in D.C. And now I believe that the bitch is trying to set me up.”

“What’s her name?”

“Bambi,” he said. Something about the way he said her name made Beijing suspicious, but she decided not to probe further. He’d never admit to anything anyway. “She’s trouble. I just know it. I can feel that shit in my gut, like she’s greedy and conniving and will do anything to save her own ass.”

Beijing was shocked. “Set you up how?” Beijing wanted to know.

“With the feds. She said they kicked their way into her business
and were asking about me.” He added, “I know that broad put them on me. I know she did.” He punched the headboard with his fist, startling Beijing.

“I know you are angry and it is fucked up, but you have to calm down so we can think this out,” Beijing reasoned. “Now, what exactly did this girl say?”

“She said, the
feds
had busted her spot and I’m next on the list. I need to get out of the country until I get a grip on what’s really good. I may need your help.”

“Of course, of course.” Beijing racked her brain trying to figure out how she could help him. She had never seen Lootchee so frazzled. “I know some people in South America that’ll put you up,” she said, already scrolling down her mental Rolodex. “How soon do you need to leave?”

“As soon as possible.” He seemed so nervous.

“I know things look bad, baby, but try not to panic. I know someone who can hook you up with a passport and you can be on your way in twenty-four hours. You have to trust me.”

He turned to her and took her in his arms. “Sorry for getting you involved with this. But right now you are the only person I can trust. And baby, if the shoe was on the other foot you know there are no bounds.”

She put her own emotions and well-being aside and looked in his eyes. “Don’t worry, I got you. I promise you I do,” she said.