Rekindle (6 page)

A kiss I’ll never forget.  No longer angry, no longer battling for control, no longer frustrated, our lips meld together like they did another lifetime ago.  For a moment, no matter how brief, my Nick’s back and he’s loving me like he would have before everything went to shit.  And for this brief moment, I’m going to live here and only here.

CHAPT
ER NINE

NICK

I have no fucking idea what’s going on.  One minute I’m going back up to Tina’s apartment to see if she wants to grab dinner with me, Martinez and Jones, and the next I’m in her bathroom and we’re fucking on the toilet.  How … I can’t even explain it.  But do I really have to?  Should I be questioning anything when I have a gorgeous woman, one who is so tight I’d find it hard to believe she’s been with anyone else since we divorced, slowly grinding on my dick?

Nope.  I’m going with it.  If only for tonight, I’m taking the metaphorical bull by the horns and am going to fuck it stupid.

With Christina still impaled on my dick, I rise and carefully walk with her wrapped around my waist to the bedroom.  Cautiously, I kneel on the lone mattress, thanking God I’ve been putting in extra hours at the gym to keep from screwing bar bitches and getting some strange strand of herpes. I rear back, staring at all the beauty before me.

Nothing about her has changed.  I watch her dilated pupils scan my body, approval shining through and if possible, my cock gets even harder.  Slightly pulling out of her warm depths, I wait a moment and roughly thrust, her tits shaking with the force and her bottom lip automatically going between her teeth.  Just like she always did.

For so long, every time I witnessed this exact scene, it was always a memory taking place of a fantasy.  And now that it’s real—tangible—I’m not ready for it to end, but I’m pretty sure if she mews one more time, or grabs at my hips to pull me deeper again, I’m going to break apart. 

“Nick.  Please,” she cries, her walls clamping down on my dick.  Rolling my eyes back in my head, I think of anything else possible. 

Mack’s dirty socks in his locker.  Mrs. Crandall walking around outside without a bra.  Signing my divorce papers.  Hemingway licking Mrs. Crandall’s cat’s ass.

Nothing.  Just like every other time I’ve wanted to prevent myself from coming like a teenager, nothing works and all I can focus on is the softness my dick’s buried inside of and the sexy woman staring up at me, begging me for more.  Who am I to deny her?

Resting on my calves, I slowly, almost torturously slow, thrust in and out of her tight body, my orgasm on the brink and hers not too far off, either.  Cupping her perfectly shaped tits in each hand, I manipulate her nipples with my fingers and squeeze just enough to have her squirming and arching herself into me, desperately trying to get closer and find her release. 

“Fuck,” I growl, slowing my pace even more to make this last just a little while longer.  Once she realizes she’s fucking the man she hated enough to divorce, she’s never going to let me inside of her again.  If this is the only time I get, I’m going to make it worth it.

Banging distracts me and I look up to the headboard to figure out what I need to put behind it to stop the noise when I notice there is no headboard.  Glancing around, there’s nothing in the room that would cause the banging and I’m fully distracted. 

“What the hell is that?” I ask, never stopping my hips from driving into hers.

“What?” she breathes, opening her eyes, and I’m sure she’s losing the orgasm that was so close I could feel the ripples starting deep within her.

“The banging?  Where’s it coming from?”  Tina props herself up on her elbows and stares with wide eyes toward the hallway.

“The door,” she whispers, scooting back and releasing her hold on my dick.  “Someone’s here.”

Pulling off my tee shirt, I force it over her head and stand up.  Adjusting myself and zipping my fly, I step into the hallway and confirm the banging is coming from the front door.  “Stay here.  I’ll see who it is.”  I continue until I’m right at the door and look back in time to see Tina scurry into the bathroom.

“Who is it?” I ask, looking out the peep hole but see nothing but darkness.

“Me,” Jones’s voice carries through the thick wooden door.  Tina appears at my side, attempting to brush down her starting to curl locks.  Making sure she’s decent, and surprisingly she’s wearing my shirt and a pair of black pants, I open the door just a crack and peek out.

“What’s up, man?  Said I’d meet you guys there, right?  Did I screw up?” I ask, but really want to tell him to go the fuck away and stop cock blocking.

“It’s been a while.  We were worried,” Martinez speaks up, stepping around from behind Jones. 

“Oh, give us fifteen and we’ll meet you there.”   I really don’t need all that long.  I was just about there, anyway.  If they would have just waited five more minutes …

“We’re here now, how about we all ride together?” Frankie asks, looking up at Jones who nods his head. 

“Alright.  I just need a minute to find some decent clothes,” Tina says, walking toward a stack of boxes in the dining room.  I smile at our coworkers and invite them inside.  Stepping out of the way, I give them dirty looks as they pass. 

Tina’s in and out of her room in a matter of seconds, still wearing the black pants but a shirt that fits her a little better than mine.  Tossing it back to me, she smiles sheepishly and ushers her guests out the door.  Deciding to take two cars, Jones pulls me to his car, saying something about not wanting to be alone with Frankie anymore tonight and the girls get into Tina’s beat up old car.  I’m pissed, wondering if Tina and I could have taken a small detour and finished what we already started, but saying anything would only raise questions she doesn’t want to answer.

Inside the small restaurant, we all order and wait for our food in silence.  A few times the girls giggle about something, but all in all, it’s a quiet night.  After we finish our dinner, I wait for Tony to offer Frankie a ride home so I can be alone with Tina some more, but that never happens.  And again, I can’t say anything about it. 

“Well, guys, thanks for taking me out.  I swear, I’ll go shopping tomorrow,” Tina jokes, pulling a few bills out of her wallet and everything in me wants to tell her to stop and let me pay.  When I open my mouth to do just that, she glares at me, as if she’s aware of what I’m thinking.  So I pull out a few dollars for my meal as well and stand alongside Tina.

“Christina, can you give me a ride back to my car?  It’s at your place,” Frankie asks and Jones looks relieved.

“Works out great.  Nick only lives a few blocks from me, anyway,” Jones says, smiling at the women. 

Together, we walk out of the diner and walk in separate directions.  This isn’t how I pictured the rest of this night going.  All I want to do is crawl back inside Tina’s body and enjoy the feel of her, and instead I’m going home and will have to jerk off to those thoughts. 

Jones pulls in my driveway and I quickly tell him goodbye and thanks for the ride as I all but run out of the car and inside the house.  Falling back on the couch, I pull my phone out to text Tina when I see I already have one waiting from her.

TINA:  Talk tmrw?

Talk?  She wants to talk?  Jesus Christ, women and their wanting to talk about every emotion and action.  Life would be so much easier if they’d just roll with the punches like guys do.  We’re by far the less complicated sex, I promise you that much.

ME:  I can be there in ten if you wanna talk now

And I do not mean talk.  I’m thinking more along the lines of fucking her so hard her eyes roll back in her head and she can’t form a coherent thought for days.  That sounds like the perfect kind of talking if you ask me.

TINA:  Probably not a good idea.  We could have made a huge mistake tonight

ME:  Huge mistake?  Like having sex?  I’m pretty sure we did that.  It would be better if we could come though

TINA:  Nick ….

ME:  Tina …

TINA:  Goodnight.  Call me in the morning.

ME:  How about I’ll see you in the morning.

She never responds to my last message and I’m not sure if she’s okay with me coming by or if it’s some woman code for ‘if you fucking come here, I’ll bite your dick off’, but I can’t lie and say the thought of her mouth on my dick doesn’t have me hard and ready to go, even with the possibility of impending damage to my member. 

Resting my head back on the cushions, I pull my dick out and begin stroking.  As soon as Tina’s scent hits my nostrils, I lose myself in the memory of a few hours ago.  The only way it could have been better is if she were still pissed when she sat on my dick.  Remembering how tight and snug her pussy was, I stab my hips upward and come in less than two minutes.

I run a quick shower, because the smell of Tina will only drive me crazy through the night, and walk upstairs to bed.  Falling onto the mattress, I wonder what’s going to happen tomorrow when we
talk
.  I hope there’s more fucking and less chatting.  We have a lot of time to make up for.

CHA
PTER TEN

TINA

“What the fuck was I thinking, Lacy?” I ask, my voice muffled by the pillow I’m trying to suffocate myself with.

“Was it good?” she giggles.

“Lacy!  Come on.  What am I going to do now?”

“What do you wanna do?”

“Well, I thought I wanted to go about my life and find someone who isn’t so closed off.  But now I’m fucked.  Literally fucked.  I can’t let him back in.  Not until he’s faced whatever happened to him after Tim.”

“Well, sweetie, I hate to break it to you, but you already let him back in.  Give me the details.  Where’d you let him back in at?”

“Dammit, Lace,” I groan.  Now that she’s not dating my ex-husband’s best friend, she’s all about sharing details.  If I hear one more time about how big Carl’s dick is and how he fucks her against a wall, I’m going to scream.  Since she knew how close I was with Tim, she knew better.  Now, I can’t get her to shut up.  And apparently Nick’s dick is on the table for discussion, too.  “The bathroom.  The fucking bathroom, like we were kids or something.”

“Oh, was it in the shower?  No, I bet it was on the counter.  Tell me.  I need some new ideas,” she squeals.

“Well, we were standing up and I think I climbed up him like a damn monkey.  Then he sat on the toilet lid and I kind of …”  My cheeks flush at the details and how brazen I was with Nick.  Not that we had a boring sex life when we were married, I had just never taken the initiative like I had tonight. 

“You little whore, you.  I’ve never been more proud to call you my best friend.”

“Can you just tell me what to do now?  How do I make it so it’s not awkward?  I told him I’d call him in the morning, but I have no idea what to say.”  Back to the pillow, I smother my face into the covered down feathers and pray for God to take me.

“Well, that really depends, sweetie,” Lacy responds, her voice more to the level of what I need.  A helpful friend.  Someone who will tell me I’ve fucked up and how to fix it before everything gets out of hand.  “Do you want to try again with Nick?”

“I don’t think so.  He’s not ready for that and I don’t think I’m ready to go back to how everything was when I left,” I admit.

“Seems like you’ve already made up your mind.  What do you need me for?”

“How do I make it so we’re not at that weird stage again?  Do you remember how strange everything was when I filed the papers?”

“I do.  But I also remember how sad you were and how defeated he was.  You know I love you, Tina, but I have to say this because I haven’t said it before.”  I sit up straight, bracing myself for whatever she has to say.  Lacy’s always been frank with me and the idea she’s somehow left something out or not called me on my shit has me worried.  What if I’ve made an even bigger mistake and she just let me do it?  Not that it would be her fault, but no matter what’s happened in my life, Lacy’s advice has always been golden.

“Men and women process things differently.  Women talk about what’s going on, find ways to fix things.  That’s just what we do,” she starts and I find myself nodding along with her analysis of behaviors based on sex.  “Men are so much different.  I know how frustrated you were with Nick, hell, I would have felt the same way, but he needed time.  Maybe he’s over everything.”

“No, he’s not.  You didn’t see him at Tim’s thing a few weeks ago.  He was holding my hand, squeezing the life out of it, all the while holding Dakota’s and taking away her sadness.  He’s holding back so much, and he just needs to let me in …”  Lacy stops me mid-sentence and cuts me pretty deep.

“I don’t think Nick’s the one who needs to let anyone in.  I think you might have to let go of the notion you need to fix everything.  Nick lost his best friend.  Can you imagine how you’d react if you lost me?” she asks and my heart beats faster at just the thought of not having Lacy in my life.

“I can’t even think about that.  I’d be lost without you.”  I feel tears welling up in my eyes and I shove them aside.

“And that’s how Nick felt losing Tim.  He loved Tim just as much as you love me.  The only difference is you’d want to talk about your feelings and he’s more comfortable getting through it alone.”

“Did I make a mistake divorcing him?” I ask, fearful of her answer.

“No, honey, I don’t think you made a mistake divorcing him.  You weren’t happy.  He wasn’t happy.  You would have ended up hurting each other and yourselves so much more.  You did the right thing.  And I can’t make all the excuses for him.  Nick didn’t fight for your marriage.  I know you.  If he would have asked for another chance you would have given him one, but he didn’t.  You might have filed the papers, but he was right there with you throughout the whole thing.  He could have stopped it had he wanted to.”

“It’s gonna be really awkward again,” I state, not needing a response.

“Yes.  It will be,” she responds anyway. 

“There’s not much I can do, is there?”

“Probably not. Talking about it might help, but keep in mind, it might not. You know Nick better than anyone else.”  That’s the truest thing she’s ever said.  I do know him, sometimes better than he knows himself.  There’s no easy way around it.  I have to put a stop to this.  Nick and I can’t be intimate.  There’s just too much there.  Way too much history to go from married, to divorced, to lovers.  I’ll always want more and like Lacy said, if he still wanted to be in a relationship with me, he would have fought.

“Thanks for everything, Lacy.”

“You never have to thank me, baby.  I’m always here.  Day or night, that’s what sisters are for.”  We may not be related by bloodlines, but Lacy’s just as much my sister if we were. 

“I’m gonna go to sleep, try to think about what to say to Nick in the morning.  I love you.”

“Love you right back.  Night.”

“Night.”  I disconnect the call and stare at the last text I received from Nick.

ME:  How about I’ll see you in the morning.

I debate texting him back, asking him to not come over, but maybe a face to face conversation would be best.  Then again, if our desires get the better of us again, we’ll be in the same situation the following date.  Locking the screen, I toss the phone on the floor next to the mattress and curl up in a ball in the center of the bed. Pulling the blankets up to my chin, I close my eyes and fall asleep somewhere between thinking about what to say to Nick and how amazing it felt to be with him again.

*****

Waking up the next morning, I’m not even a little shocked that I already have a missed call from Nick.  And one from my mother, I should point out.  That woman, I swear she’s psychic—having all kinds of abilities to know what’s going on in my life without me having to tell her a single thing.  Needing a little more time to think about what to do about Nick, I return my mom’s call first, and of course, she answers on the first ring.

“I was starting to worry, Chrissy.  I haven’t talked to you in weeks,” she starts in on her guilt trip the moment the line connects.

“Good morning, Mother.  It’s not been weeks.  Maybe a few days,” I grumble, walking into the kitchen and starting the coffee pot.  I might not have any food to speak of, but coffee I have in droves.

“Feels like longer.  How’s everything going in the new apartment?  You like it?  You know you could have moved home with Daddy and me.  We would love to have you back.” 

“Ma, I know you would have, but there’s just something wrong with a grown, adult woman moving back home, especially when she can afford to live on her own.  But thank you for the offer.  The place is nice, but I’ve not even been here twenty-four hours yet.”

“Well, I called because Daddy and I want you to come to dinner tonight, that is if you have time in your busy schedule for your parents.”  You’d think we were Catholic by all the guilt she lays on me, but I can’t really blame her.  Since I moved out, I rarely go home as much as I should.  The least I can do is throw her a bone and go to a simple dinner.

“I can do that, Ma.  I’m not on until tomorrow afternoon.  Need me to bring anything?”

“Just you.  Love you, Chrissy.”  I cringe every time she calls me that.  I’d correct her … again … I’m just not sure anything would come of it other than me wasting my breath.

“Love you, Ma.”  Hanging up the phone, I sit on the couch with my coffee in hand, staring at Nick’s name in my call log.  If I don’t call him back soon, he’s going to show up here. 

I can only imagine how confusing this is for him.  I mean, I all but threw myself at him last night.  I don’t know what he’s going to want from me.  Get back together?  Be fuck buddies?  Casual encounters?  Nothing at all?  Not to mention, I have no idea what I want from him.  I don’t think I want anything at all, but I miss him so much.  I worry—like really worry—that I miss him so much I’d be willing to take anything he was willing to offer me, no matter how much it hurt to be less than what we were before.

Taking a few deep breaths to calm my nerves, I return Nick’s missed call.  After the first two rings, I almost chicken out and hang up, yet I stay strong and wait for his gravelly tone to come across the other side of the line.

“Hey there,” he says, my heart beating faster just from the sound of his voice.

“Hi,” I breathe, letting go of the breath I didn’t know I was holding.  “You called?” 
Of course he called.  What are you, fifteen calling a boy for the first time?  Get your shit together.

“I did.  Wanted to see if you wanted to go to breakfast, but since it’s almost noon, how about lunch?”  Pulling the phone away from my ear, I illuminate the screen and groan when I see the time.  Since as long as I can remember, even as a teenager, I never slept late, it just wasn’t in me.  Now all of a sudden, I’m having reckless sex with my ex-husband and sleeping in.  Maybe there’s something in the water at 22?

“That sounds nice, but I’ve got dinner at my mom’s in a few hours.  You know how she is.  If I’m not in perfect condition, she gives me shit.  Rain check?” I ask, never having been so grateful to go to my mother’s.  Tomorrow afternoon, I’ll be on shift with Nick for two entire days with no space whatsoever.  I need to take what I can get while I can get it.

“How about I come with you?” he asks, causing me to choke on my own saliva.  “It’s been a while since I’ve seen your parents.”

“I’m not sure.  Probably would give them the wrong idea, ya know?” 
Please know.
 

“It’ll be fine, Tina.  I’ll pick you up at four.  Wouldn’t want to be late and have her up my ass.  Wear that grey dress and we’ll go get drinks after dinner.”  He doesn’t give me a chance to protest and the line goes dead.  I try to call him back, but his phone goes straight to voicemail.  Motherfucker turned his phone off. 

Breaking out in a sweat, I send him a text asking him not to come.  If his phone’s off, he won’t get it, so that’s pretty pointless.  I wonder if I leave before he gets here, if he’ll let it go, but knowing Nick, he’ll just show up.  Fan-fucking-tastic. Dinner with my parents and my ex.  Nothing can go wrong.  We’ll be like one big happy family again.