Reinventing Mike Lake (2 page)

              Despite having many uncles, aunts, and cousins living within close proximity of each other, our main family consisted of only my parents and my sister, just 18 months younger than me.  We grew up without the constant bickering between siblings that I had seen in nearly all my friends. When we had problems in school – tough tests, tough teachers, or tough situations with boyfriends and girlfriends – we always came to each other.  Though we would never admit it at the time, we were best friends.  When she met Richard while in college, things changed between us.

              Richard was an alcoholic and despite being charming at times, his inability to control his drinking, and in turn, his temper, was concerning to our family.  We weren’t friends at all, but we went to the same small college, so our paths crossed frequently at bars and house or dorm parties.  Partying and college of course go hand and hand for many, including myself, but it was evident his drinking was out of control, even at a young age.  Richard came from a family of hard drinkers, and because of this he had been advised by concerned family members that he should slow down his drinking, or better yet, quit altogether.  But like a child you repeatedly tell not to touch something, the temptation, and perhaps the genetic inclination, was too much.

              I always held out hope that Richard would slow down, but had my doubts.  Chloe assured us he was just “being a college kid,” but deep down I suspect she knew his drinking was more than that.  Sure enough, after college he was drinking even more.  The problem now was that he was married to my sister.  Even on the day of their wedding I smelled liquor on his breath, even after their reverend, the same reverend that had married my parents 26 years prior, politely asked no one in the wedding party, which I also presumed included the groom, to not drink on the day of the wedding until after the ceremony.  You didn’t need to smell it on his breath to know he had been drinking; his eyes had given it away. 

              After the wedding, my sister and I grew farther apart, both by relationship and distance, after they moved to North Carolina.  My sister was a dental assistant, and attributed the move to her job, but in reality I believe she was trying to separate herself from the constant arguments regarding her husband and our family.  She had hoped of going to dental school, but when the time came to make the decision, she opted not to go.  My parents said this was because Richard said it wasn’t necessary because he would make a lot of money.  He, of course, was saying these things when he was jobless, a title he held for most of their relationship.  Because Chloe didn’t go to dental school, a goal she had spoke about for years; it further diminished her relationship with our parents.  It wasn’t that my parents had been forcing her to go to dental school; they just knew in their hearts that she wasn’t going largely because of Richard.

              Over time we stopped calling each other.  During the last few years I had only seen her once, at my wife’s funeral, but we hardly spoke, though I hardly spoke to anyone that day, or in the following year.  After Richard left, I wasn’t quick to offer condolences when she was surely going through one of the hardest times of her life.  My parents had gone down to North Carolina occasionally after the divorce to help her get back on her feet, but I had never gone on any of those trips.  Instead of being thankful my parents were going down to help my sister out, I remember being upset that they were leaving me during my time of mourning.  I never stopped to consider the position my parents were in: dealing with mourning children.

              When I got in my SUV that morning, I’d be lying if I said it was with the goal to visit my sister.  The “Welcome to North Carolina” sign and the resulting thought process was responsible for that.  Still I physically had to make the decision if I was going to visit her or not.  I’m sure she would be surprised, to say the least, to see me.  I still had 60 miles to mull my decision. 

              As my sister’s exit grew closer, my heartbeat grew faster.  I had decided what I was going to do.  I pulled out my cell phone to call my parents.  My mom answered before the line even rang on my end.

              “Where are you?” she asked, worried.

              “I’m getting ready to go see Chloe,” I replied.  “I remember the city, but can’t remember the address.”  Truth is – I never knew it.

              After a pause on the other end of the line in which I could tell my mom was processing this information, she said with what sounded like a smile, “I’ll be right back, it’s in my address book.”  I knew she was happy, as we always had an understanding that didn’t involve many words. 

3

              I parked just on the edge of her long circular driveway, about as far away as I could be from her house while still on her property.  In my mind this gave me a chance to leave unnoticed if I were to change my mind before I got up to the door.  I quickly realized this wouldn’t be an option.  About five seconds after I put the car into park I could see through the dusk that the front door had opened.

              “Who’s there?!” yelled a man’s voice I didn’t recognize, causing Bahama to turn her head questionably.

              “Mike, Chloe’s sister – I mean – brother,” I yelled back, nervous of the voice I couldn’t see.  I waited for a response for a few seconds.  When none came, I begrudgingly headed to the door.

              The screen door was shut, but the front door remained opened.  As soon as I reached the top step Chloe appeared, with her daughter Cassidy in tow.  I wasn’t sure if our mother had called Chloe or not, but given the welcoming I got from her man friend, I guessed the answer was no.

              Because of Bahama’s black and brown fur and the darkening sky, she was tough to see, but as soon as Cassidy saw Bahama she squealed, “OHHHH! A PUPPY!  Can I play with it?” looking excitedly between her mom and my best friend.  While Bahama was far from a puppy, coming in at around seven years old, she still acted like one when meeting a new friend.

              “Yes, go ahead take her out back.  We should have a tennis ball,” replied Chloe, but Cassidy and Bahama were through the back door before the sentence was finished.

              Chloe didn’t invite me in verbally, but turned around and headed back into the center of the house, leaving the front door open behind her.  I took this as an invite, and headed in.

              In the living room, Chloe was just turning off the television, and sat down on one end of a large sectional couch.  I sat down on the opposite side.

              “If you’re busy, I can leave and come back another time,” I said while motioning with my head where I guessed her visitor was, though I really had no clue.

              “Oh, that’s Mr. Fields, my neighbor.  He was fixing my water heater for me.  He owns the company that installed it.”

              “Well, he didn’t seem too happy to see me.”

“He’s just been helping me out some since Richard left.  Being our closest neighbor he heard a lot of what was going on over here.  He also has a daughter my age, so I guess it comes natural to him to protect me a bit.”  When she mentioned the part about Richard leaving she glanced in my direction to see my reaction.  I wasn’t sure how I was supposed to react.  I followed up with what I thought was a safe question.  I was wrong.

“How are things anyway?  How is your daughter dealing with everything?”

She made a snorting sound under her breath and then let me have it, which I had sort of been expecting, saying, “You don’t even know her name do you?”

I did.

“Did you drive down here yourself just to make sure he was gone?”

I hadn’t.

“I know you guys didn’t like him, but he was my husband and I loved him,” she said, fighting back tears. 

I didn’t know what to say.  I hadn’t really known what to say to her for the last few years, so this was nothing new, except now I was in the same room as her.  I said the first thing that came to my mind. 

              “Thank you for coming to the funeral.  I’m sorry I wasn’t here more for you in your time of need.” 

              I could tell anger was still boiling up in her, which reminded me of her when we were kids.  Right before you thought she was going to explode into a fit of screaming rage she always began to cry.  With that thought, she began to cry. 

              On cue, my friend Mr. Fields walked into the room, two foot wrench in hand.  He had looked big standing in the doorway at dusk, now just a few feet away I could see he was well over six feet tall and upwards of 300 pounds.  At just under six feet tall and 185 pounds, and not having a wrench handy, I didn’t like my chances.  After glaring at me, he asked Chloe, “Do you want me to get rid of this guy?”

              In my mind I begged for Chloe to say no, as I had already thought of about eight different ways how that wrench could be involved in the getting-rid process that Mr. Fields had planned for me.

              Chloe looked up, the sobbing beginning to subside and said, “No, Mr. Fields, I’m fine.  This is my brother, he came down from Virginia to get to know his niece and catch up a little.”  I hadn’t realized that’s what I was doing there, but any answer that didn’t involve a wrench and my body was fine with me.

              Mr. Fields looked at me one more time then back at my sister, this time with a little less of a scowl, and said, “The water heater should be fine now.  If it acts up, let me know.  Hope to see you over at our place Tuesday.  Mrs. Fields is making her famous tuna casserole Tuesday night.”  As Mr. Fields left, Chloe asked me how I like my ice cream.  Feeling that I had waited way too long to be sarcastic, I replied, “Cold.”

4

              Cassidy and Bahama, tennis ball in her mouth, came inside to join us for ice cream.  Cassidy had chocolate, while Bahama had a sizable scoop of vanilla.  Both Cassidy and Bahama ate their ice cream breathlessly, both looking like they could fall asleep any minute after what must have been a spirited game of fetch.  After finishing hers, Bahama laid on her side on the cool floor.  After tiring of the floor, she trotted into the living room and popped up on the sectional couch.  Chloe told me that I better hope it’s as comfortable to me as it looked for Bahama because that would be my bed too for the duration of my stay.

              Over the ice cream, I had been mentally preparing for a long conversation I predicted would last deep into the night, but after fighting with Cassidy to bathe and get her into bed, Chloe told me she was exhausted and would be going to bed herself.  She told me I would find the proper linens in the hallway closet and gave me the customary run down of how to turn on the shower. 

              I laid awake for a few hours, wanting to sleep, but instead watching the same episode of
SportsCenter
twice, and finally falling asleep to a documentary of past NBA champions on ESPN Classic.  All and all a typical night for me over the last year, only now I was on my sister’s couch and about 200 miles from home with no idea what tomorrow would bring.

---

              The next morning I was awakened by the sound of Cassidy’s voice, “Uncle Mike, wake up, wake up!”  I had guessed by my body’s weariness that it was early, maybe even still in the single digit a.m. hours.  During my grieving I had become adept at waking up in the single digit hours too, only the clock read “p.m.”

              “Hey sweetie, good morning,” I grunted, while trying to sound as nice as I possibly could, while reaching for my cell phone.  6:46 a.m.  Ugh.

              Cassidy said, “What’s for breakfast?  Mom said you’d make me breakfast!  I’m starrrrving,” drawing out the word starving for emphasis.

              I said, “How about some ice cream?”

              Cassidy smiled brightly, but then seeming to remember her mom wouldn’t approve, changed to a frown and replied, “Mommy wouldn’t let me do that.”

              I got up, while Bahama snoozed away, and sleepily headed for the kitchen.  Turning on the bright lights caused me to cringe, but I kept on a happy face for my “starrrrving” niece.  I was no chef, but I was able to make the basics, like toast and eggs.  I made these as quickly as I could before Cassidy asked for something more complex, like pancakes. 

              After eating, I cleaned the dishes and put them in the dishwasher.  Despite making just toast and eggs I had managed to mess up the once-clean kitchen beyond recognition. As I was finishing up, Chloe came down the stairs in a bathrobe that I’m fairly sure she wouldn’t have worn if there was a man in her house other than her brother. 

              “Sexy,” I said to her, when she came around the corner.

              She put up the pointer, middle, and ring fingers of her right hand and said, “read between the lines,” smiling.  I was happy to see our back and forth was coming back like we hadn’t missed a step – or years. 

              Luckily Cassidy had missed the bird shot by her mother because she had already moved on to the couch to try to wake up Bahama.  I didn’t think she had much of a chance, but before I knew it I heard the two of them running up and down the hallway. 

              Chloe sat down, cup of coffee in hand.

              “So, what are you doing?” she asked.

              “Eating breakfast,” I replied.  Before she could flip another bird in my direction, I continued. 

              “You know, I don’t really know what I’m doing.  I stayed in the house for a year straight for the most part, other than taking Bahama out for a walk every now and then.  I know I’ve always been a bit anti-social, but this, this doing nothing, has been a new experience for me.  I realized the only way I was going to heal was by doing something.  Anything.”

              I hadn’t expected to be talking about myself so seriously first thing in the morning, but because I had thought we were going to have this conversation last night I was prepared.

              Chloe stared at me for a few seconds with an amused look on her face, thinking.