Regine's Book (36 page)

The funeral service in the big living room at Kristiansund's Festiviteten on December 9 was moving, beautiful, and special. The coffin was gorgeously decorated. This is where Regine had done so many dance performances over the years, and this is where Regine's dance instructor, Anett Hjelkrem, had a full house sing happy birthday for her in English—a big moment for Regine, Lasse, and me. Now Wardruna was on stage next to her coffin. The performance opened with the powerful sounds of cascading water and birds from the song
“Laukr.” It has the lyrics: “Laukr is water, tears from your eyes, mountain waterfalls, drops from ice, waves on the water.”

Afterward, there was a remembrance by Berit Jorgenvag, a moving dance by Marte, Vilde, Maren, and Nathalie from the Kristiansund Dance Studio, and the song “You Are the Best” by Hanna Malm Erdtman. Then Bengt Eidem gave a speech, and we closed with Wardruna singing “Dagr”—which features the words, “I salute the sun. Rise up from the dark, rise up today.” It turned into a beautiful, moving, almost mystical goodbye for us and the 400 to 500 people who came. It was a powerful experience that suited Regine perfectly; it turned out to be exactly what she would have wanted. Gunnhild Corwin (who wrote
Ida's Dance
) sent us a poem
¹
that she was given many years ago, and that she felt suited Regine really well. It was read near the grave:

Lasse decided not to have a reception after the funeral; he said he couldn't handle it. I objected, because it's something that you just do—people would expect it. But I'm glad he got his way, because I couldn't have managed it either. We were completely exhausted after the funeral and it was good to come home and just be alone together, just us three. Luckily Grandma had made bacalao and took care of visitors and everyone else in the family.

First of all, we want to thank Children 4, the cancer and blood disease unit at St. Olav's Hospital. The nurses and doctors there are a fantastic group. They took such good care of us and followed up and were responsible for Regine from beginning to end. They didn't give up and wanted to try new medications even after Riksen told her she didn't
have long to live. Because of that, Regine found new hope, and had a great summer with wonderful experiences. Thanks to their cooperation with the Kristiansund hospital and thanks to their almost daily phone calls with Lasse, Regine was able to be at home most of the time since February 2009. I didn't think it was possible to live with the blood values that Regine had for such a long time, and I think it's a miracle that Regine lived as long as she did. A big thank you to the bone marrow transplant unit at the National Hospital, who did everything they could to cure Regine. Thank you so much to the nurses and doctors at the Cancer Polyclinic and Palliative Care team at the Kristiansund hospital who took us in so completely and did everything possible to make Regine comfortable. They even came to our home on evenings and weekends when they were actually off work. Thank you for all the help that made it possible for us to care for Regine during the last three or four weeks of her life. You have no idea how much it means to us. I'm also glad we live fifteen minutes away from the hospital, since being at home allowed for Regine to have a much better quality of life during her last ten months. In addition to the fact that we were at the hospital almost every day for blood tests, Regine occasionally needed antibiotics three times a day over a several day period. If we'd been far from the hospital, it wouldn't have been possible for Regine to live at home.

At times from August 2008 to February 2009, Regine was so ill that she needed both Lasse and me to be at the hospital with her. Elise was invited to stay with us and take classes at the hospital.

But she didn't want to. She wanted to be at home where she had friends, dance classes, and school. We always worried about Elise who was at home and had to manage a lot of things on her own. Luckily we've had a lot of help from Grandma, Grandpa, Aunt Anne, and Uncle Arild who watched out for and took care of Elise. I don't know how we would have managed without their help and support.

Thank you so much to Regine's friends for all the visits and support you gave Regine. She was so happy and content on the days she had visits. She came alive and we saw that it did her good. Special thanks to Anne Marthe, Martin, Silje, Karina, and last but not least, dear Eli Ann, who's been her closest and best friend and who was there when Regine needed her most. Eli Ann was the one who understood what Regine was going through, and this understanding meant a lot to Regine; she said so herself.

Thank you to the people who contributed with experiences that made Regine so happy, like the Quart festival, the helicopter trip to RaumaRock, the Ulver concert in Lillehammer, the Caroline movie center, and photo exhibits at
Nordic Light
and in Surnadal. Thank you also to participants in the benefit concerts for Regine, and in the torch light parade on November 26. Thank you to Jan Erik Haglund from Norway, Inc., for everything you did in regards to the Metallica concert (which unfortunately she wasn't able to attend). And thank you to
Dagbladet
and its readers for selecting Regine as the 2009 person of the year.

And then there are all the blog friends. All of you amazing people out there who didn't even know Regine, but still showed her so much care and warmth. You should know what important support you were to Regine. It was a great comfort to her on her worst days to read all your comments. Thank you to those who set up the Facebook pages to help Regine to overcome the disease and to achieve her dream of making a book. Thank you as well to all those who supported these pages.

Thank you to those who set up the support fund and to everyone who contributed monetarily, both individually and as businesses. A special thank you to Ann Olaug Slatlem, who's updated Regine's photos and who made it possible for her to set up and sell her photos at the
Nordic Lights
photo festival. All the proceeds went into the
benefit account. Also a special thank you to Beltespenner who made a clothing line with Anne Marthe and Regine after being urged to do so by Line Victoria, and who donated the sales profits to the benefit account. For so long we were hoping that Regine would improve from the treatment and could use the money for a new transplant, but that didn't happen. At Regine's request, 240,000 crowns were donated to blood cancer research at the Radium Hospital; flatscreen TVs were also provided to the bone marrow transplant unit at the National Hospital; and 20,000 crowns were given to fellow cancer patient Espen Steen, who has to buy his own medications. So all the contributions were put to good use or donated to a good cause.

Thank you to the Gyldendal publishing company and editor Bjorn Olav Jahr for all his help with Regine's book.

Lastly we want to thank everyone for all their concern and supportive phone calls, emails, letters, gifts, flowers, and greetings both to us and Regine. They warmed us all. Thank you also to understanding employers and to everyone else who we know thought a lot about us.

We've been through some really intense times and there's more still ahead, but the days come and go whether we want them to or not, and you just have to try to participate in regular life again, even though it's not easy. Elise, Lasse, and I need to remember what we promised Regine before she died: that we'll take care of ourselves. Her biggest worry when she died was that the family would be torn apart. Regine recorded a voice message on my cell phone that she wanted us to listen to after she died. She said that she loved us, that we were the world's best parents, and that she couldn't have had a better childhood. She had so many great memories, and she regretted that there wouldn't be more of them. But she hoped we'd manage to enjoy life together—because that's what's important: to take care of the days you have on earth. And then she said we had to take
good care of Josefine. We all have to try as hard as we can to do what she wanted. We have to be thankful for our good health, and use it to do the things we enjoy in our lives—things that aren't possible for a lot of people.

My thoughts go out to all of those struggling with serious illnesses. I really sympathize with you and know the fight you are fighting and really hope you'll win in the end; you all deserve it.

It's so sad that the most beautiful flowers are picked first, but I'm incredibly proud of having been the mother of one of them.

Julianne, Regine, and Lasse

Henriette Larsen grew up in Switzerland and the U.S. speaking Norwegian at home. She has fond memories of beautiful summers (but no winters) in Norway. She earned a Bachelor's degree in French Literature from Pomona College and completed graduate coursework in French and Comparative Literature at SFSU. She lives in San Francisco.