Regency Romance: A Duchess in Disguise (Historical 19th Century Victorian Romance) (Duke Fantasy Billionaire Romance) (19 page)

“He’s going to love this,” he said.

I sighed and looked at the garden.

It’s been a while since I got my hands dirty
. I laughed silently to myself.

“You seem to be a natural.” I grabbed the bucket of milk from Philip as he and Matty came into the house for lunch.

“It’s so cool,” Philip squealed. “The goats are kind of cute.” Matty hoisted him up to wash his hands at the sink. “But not as cute as Zelda,” Philip noted matter-of-factly.

I laughed.

After lunch, Pete stopped by the house.

“Here to be of service,” he announced, making his way into the kitchen, his eyes shooting to the scene of me and Matty and Philip altogether. “And apparently not the only one.”

Matty and I shot a glance toward one another.

“It’s not--” I began, my face red.

“No problem. Uncle Pete’s got this.”

Later, after lunch and some catching up, Pete and Philip rushed outside to the barn to check up on the expecting mother cow.

I met with Matty downstairs as he stood in the living room. It was almost the same scene from when I first saw him a week ago, but he looked different now, not just because of his clothes, but more familiar...and perhaps I felt differently as well.

He turned around and I was taken aback by his eyes once more.

“Thank you for everything,” I leaned against the archway of the room.

He smiled, but seemed solemn at the same time.

“I really do want what’s best, Erin.”

I looked away.

“I know. Or, I know now. A lot has changed around here and...and I’m still getting used to it.”

“Not everything’s changed.”

I looked up as Matty came toward me, and held my breath for a moment. He was just a foot in front of me, his eyes intently on mine, his brow just a bit furrowed. There were lines at the corner of his eyes, and it made him look mature.

When did he grow up?
I wondered.

“I went to see you,” he said.

“What?” I stood upright, confused at where this was going.

“A few years after you left, I learned from your dad where you were staying in New York. I thought--.” He looked away for a moment, and I could already feel my chest swelling with emotion. “I thought maybe I would find you and talk to you and tell you that I was done, that I was completely over, that I was glad you left me the way you did because it was a wake-up call.”

Every word he said was like a nail in my heart. I held my hand to my chest as he spoke.

“But then,” he looked at me in the eyes, his voice calm and low. “When I got to your apartment building, I saw you coming out from the other side of the street. At first, I didn’t know if it was you--your hair was straightened, you had on this blue dress…” he trailed off with a smile and then sighed as he shook his head. “I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t bring myself to say any of that, because I realized that--I still loved you. I went across the entire country to just head back home like a complete idiot.”

I stood in silence, everything within me whining at a million miles an hour. What could I possibly say or do in response?

“Do you remember that night we camped out by the canyon?”

I choked a nod.

He closed his eyes as if remembering. “It was the middle of summer. All the wildflowers were out, the sky was clear. Remember how we noticed little flicks of light--”

“The fireflies,” I said, quietly.

He looked at me and smiled.

“You know they’re not even supposed to live up this far north. It was like our own little miracle.”

Suddenly, I felt him closer now, his warmth emanating toward me. His hand on my cheek, and our faces so close, I could almost…

“Life really threw us for a loop, didn’t it?”

I felt the warmth of his breath, and his touch made me want to curl in and never leave.

“If things were different…” I began to say, and as he slowly pulled himself away, I felt the sudden coldness of being without.

“If things were different,” he echoed, his cloudy-blue eyes more cloudy now than ever.

“You’re hopeless, Erin McGarity.” Maggie met with me at the hospital. Two weeks had passed with my father’s condition wavering unsteadily for the first full week. With such an intense attack, and a surgery in tow, he was worn out, but finally ready to return home.

In the meanwhile, Matty continued to help with things down on the farm, though things had remained tense between us since his confession. The more time we spent, the more I feared that leaving for New York again was going to be more difficult, both for Philip who had grown attached to the place, and people, and for me...who had come to realize where Matty and I stood: it was simply not meant to be.

Pete had stayed behind at the farm with Philip, and so Maggie insisted on providing me with support. Not only was it the day my father returned, but it was also the day that Matty and Allison got married.

He’s finally getting his happy ending
, I thought.
He deserves it.

That’s when Maggie hit me in the gut with her words.

“Please,” I said. “I don’t need this today. Of all days, just let me be.”

Maggie sighed. “I can’t believe you came all this way for nothing.”

“For nothing?” I sat up in the chair. “I came here to help my dad, and at a good time too. Now the house has gotten some much needed repair, and all thanks to Matty. He kept the deed of the house and some of the surrounding acreage to the McGaritys even. It was a win-win. We kept the heart of the farm, and he got passage to the river.”

“A win-win?” Maggie let out a laugh. “That sounds to me like a lose-lose.”

I folded my arms.

“It was a compromise,” I said.

“Right,” she said. “A compromise. You keep that in mind the next time you run across the love of your life, find out he’s been in love with you the entire time, never tell him you’re in love with him, continue to raise his child right under his nose, and take the more-than-generous labour and the gift of keeping your family’s generations-old land to yourself. Yeah, a compromise? Sounds like he kept trying to meet you halfway, but you kept standing in the wrong direction.”

“Thank you for picking me up,” my father sat in the passenger seat of the truck.

“Of course, Dad,” I said. “I’m just glad you’re alright. You really scared me. You have to start watching over yourself from now on.”

We drove on in silence for a few moments, passing by mainstreet, which was full of tourists in the fresh, spring weather.

“Is something on your mind, Erin?”

My father’s gruff, but soothing, voice broke through my thoughts. I opened my mouth to speak, but no words came out at first.

Then, “How did you and mom know?”

“Hmm?”

“That you were...in love?”

A bellowing laugh sounded throughout the car, and I wasn’t quite expecting that reaction.

“We weren’t always in love, you know. I was quite an ornery young man. Your mother almost couldn’t stand me some days. I was always getting into trouble, and she was always getting me out of it.”

I smiled.

“One of the reasons I left,” I said. “Was because I didn’t want to not know. I was just afraid that if I stayed, I’d always be here, and I’d grow old and die without ever having any adventures of my own. I was afraid that I was settling for what I’d always known and…”

He nodded and sighed.

“You know, that’s exactly what your mother said to me once.”

“What?” I was surprised.

“I may have been the one to get in trouble a lot, but your mother was a free spirit! She would have sailed a thousand seas if I’d let her. I would’ve let her, too! But, we never were very well off and she left sooner than I could give it to her…”

I felt a pang of sadness in my chest at the tenderness of my father’s words as he spoke of her.

“But you know what she told me? You might not have remembered much. You were sleeping out in the hallway, and I was with your mother before she left.”

I braced myself for what he was about to say.

“She looked at me, in all my scruff and tears, and grabbed my dirt covered hand and said, ‘Richard, you and Erin are the greatest adventure I could have ever asked for’ She always said she loved my soil-filled pockets more than any stylish dress or purse I could give her.”

He sighed. “Not that I could have given her much. But she loved me, and I loved her. And we loved you all the more.”

“Dad,” I said, through a choked voice. “I hope you don’t mind...we’re not going home quite yet.”

I took a sharp left and my father pumped his fist out the window.

“That’s my girl!”

The Gordon lodges nestled at the base of the mountains that ridged along the valley surrounding Gordonville and the county. It was a climb to the main chateau, and cars and people lined the parking lot, with valets directing traffic.

“This is going to be impossible,” I said, snaking through the general visitor parking, trying to find a space but to no avail.

“Just go, then,” my dad pointed to a curb, ushering me to pull over.

“But--”

“Go,” he said. “I’m alright on my own. But are you?”

I laughed and pulled off to the side.

“When did you become such an old sage?” I kissed him on the cheek before rushing out.

“Near-death experiences will do that to you,” he called out. “Good luck, Erin!”

Good luck
, I laughed in my head. If I ever thought I was going to be a Julia Roberts, this was not how I intended it to be.

I snuck in toward the main chateau, where people dressed in formal wear filed in for the wedding. People were bustling in and out, servers were preparing for the reception.

“Excuse me,” I went up to a tall, handsome man in a suit, fixing his collar, and running a comb through his slick black hair.

“Do you happen to know which room the groom is in?”

He eyed me with a raised eyebrow, scoping me up and down.

I sighed. “Look, it’s an emergency. A--a--ranch emergency. A cow….herd….giving...birth--look, I’m just going to explain it to him, alright? Matthew Gordon, I need to speak with him. Please help me.”

“Down to your right, and straight up the stairs. First door on the left.”

“Thank you.”

I left him there, his phone ringing suddenly, he picked up, “Allison? Are you alright?”

His voice sounded disheartened. “Yes. Yes, I’m here. No, you look lovely. Lovely.”

I ran through the hallway and up the stairs, winded already by the long stretches of hallway. I took a moment to catch my breath, and straighten the tangle of curls in my head. I looked down at my outfit. A cardigan and beige capris. What a mom look. Well, it wasn’t getting any better than that. I took a deep breath, and opened the door.

“Erin?”

Matty turned around, surprised at seeing me in the room. He straightened at his bow tie, his fitted suit shaping perfectly his body. His hair was slicked back like the first time I saw him, and with his bright eyes, he looked as if he stepped out of a fashion magazine.

“Please,” I held out my hand. “Just hear me out.”

I took a deep breath.

“I know I’m just the bad guy in this scenario,” I let out an awkward chuckle. “Apparently I’m really good at screwing up your wedding day.”

He didn’t respond.

“When I ran that day,” I continued, seriously. “I was terrified. I thought that I was settling, that I was just going to end up like my mom who never left the county. Then, as the years passed, I felt that it was just too late each month and year that went by--there was no way I could ever come home. And then--”

I began to feel the tears come, but I held back. My hands shook, and my words all fell out clumsily and quick.

“And then I did come home. And I found you--and you weren’t at all like I remembered--and neither was I, for that matter. But then in these past several weeks, I realized that the one thing hasn’t changed. I always loved you, but I was scared of loving you. I know now that...you’re the only adventure I want in life and--and even if you never even think of me again after this day--I wanted, for once in my life, to not run away.”

There were feet coming down the hallway, and a few shouts.

“So, there. I suck at romantic speeches,” I tucked a curl behind my ear. “And weddings.”

The feet grew closer. Matty’s back was turned away from mine now, his broad shoulders slumped as if carrying a great weight.

“You should go,” he said.

And my heart dropped.

Chapter 6

The canyon below looked endless that day. I felt I could descend down into the deep ravine without ever hitting its bottom. The tops of the trees lined below. A spring breeze lifted, and along with it, a cooing flock of geese overhead.