Authors: Annie Burrows
âIt is no good,' she sighed. âI cannot tell you a lie.' She sank back against the cushions, her whole attitude one of despondency. âI'm not clever enough to make you believe it. And apart from that,' she continued, as Charles settled into his favourite fireside chair with a profound feeling of relief, âI confess I did dislike you when you first came calling on Felice and she encouraged your attentions. Even though Maman said I was letting the family down by making my disapproval plain, and Felice insisted I was being a baby. But I couldn't help feeling as I did.' She frowned. âAlthough, really, it was not you at all I did not like, so much as the idea of you. You see?'
He had just opened his mouth to reply that he did not see at all, when she continued, âand then, when I got to know you better, and saw how much you truly felt for Felice, even though you hid it so well, I couldn't dislike you at all. Indeed, I felt most sorry for you, because I knew she never cared for you in the least.'
When she saw a flash of surprise flicker across his face, she explained.
âWell, how could she, when she had been in love with Jean-Claude for ever? Even though Maman and Papa had forbidden the match, because he has no money at all. I really hated the way you dazzled them all with your wealth and elegance and seemed to make Felice forget Jean-Claude.' Her face brightened perceptibly. âBut of course you hadn't at all. She merely used your visits as a smokescreen to fool Maman into thinking she was obeying her orders, which gave Jean-Claude time to make plans for their escape. Which is all as it should be.' She sighed dreamily. âShe was not false to her true love.' She sat up
straight suddenly, looking at him with an expression of chagrin. âThough she was very cruel to you when you did not deserve it at all. Even if you are an Englishman.'
Charles found himself suddenly conscious of a desire to laugh. âSo, you wish to marry me to make up for your sister's cruel treatment of me? In fact because you feel sorry for meâis that it?'
She looked at him hopefully for a few seconds, before once more lowering her eyes and shaking her head.
âNo, it is not that. Not only that. Although I should like to make things right for you. Of course I should. Because of my sister you have suffered a grievous hurt. I know you can never feel for me what you felt for her, but at least your pride could be restored by keeping the nature of her betrayal a secret. It is not too late. If you acted today, if you made Papa give his consent today, we could attend a function together this evening and stop the gossip before it starts.' She looked up at him with eyes blazing with intensity. âTogether, we could sort out the mess she has left behind. For it is truly terrible at home.' She shook her head mournfully. âMaman has taken to her bed. Papa is threatening to shoot himself, because now there is not to be the connection with you he can see no other way out.' She twined one of the bonnet ribbons round her index finger as she looked at him imploringly. âYou would only have to stroll in and say, “Never mind about Felice. I will take the other one,” in that off-hand way you have, as though you don't care about anything at all, and he would grovel at your feet in gratitude. Then nobody would suspect she broke your heart! Even if they really believe you wanted to marry her, when they hear of the insouciance with which you took me they will have to admit they were mistaken!'
âI see,' he said slowly. âYou wish to save your family
from some sort of disgrace which my marrying Felice would have averted. That is admirable, butâ'
The look of guilt on her face stopped him in his tracks. He could see yet another denial rising to her lips.
âNot family honour?' he ventured.
She shook her head mournfully. âNo.' Her voice was barely more than a whisper. âAll I have told you is part of it. All those good things would result if only you would marry me, and I will be glad to achieve all of them, butâ' She hung her head, burying her hands completely in the by now rather mangled bonnet. âMy prime reason is a completely selfish one. You see, if only I can persuade you to marry me, then Papa would be so relieved that you are still to pull him out of the suds that he will forget all about compelling me to marry the man he has chosen for me.'
âIn short,' said Charles, âI am easier to swallow than this other fellow?'
âYesâmuch!' she cried, looking up at him with pleading eyes. âYou cannot imagine how much I hate him. If you will only say yes, I will be such a good wife! I shall not be in the least trouble to you, I promise! I will live in a cottage in the country and keep hens, and you need never even see me if you don't want. I shan't interfere with you, or stop you from enjoying yourself however you wish. I will never complainâno, not even if you beat me!' she declared dramatically, her eyes growing luminous with unshed tears.
âWhy,' said Charles, somewhat taken aback by her vehemence, âwould you suspect me of wishing to beat you?'
âBecause I am such a tiresome creature!'
If it hadn't been for the fact Heloise was clearly on the verge of tears, Charles would have found it hard not to laugh.
âPapa is always saying so. So did Gaspard.'
âGaspard?'
âMy brother. He said any man fool enough to marry me would soon be driven to beat me. But I feel sure â¦' her lower lip quivered ominously â⦠that you would only beat me when I
really
deserved it. You are not a cruel man. You are not cold, either, in spite of what they all say about you. You are a good person underneath your haughty manner. I know because I have watched you. I have had much opportunity, because you never took the least notice of me when Felice was in the same room. And I would not be afraid to go away with you, because you would not ever wish to beat a woman for sport like he would â¦'
âCome now,' Charles remonstrated, as the first tears began to trickle down her heated cheeks. âI cannot believe your papa would force you to marry a man who would be as cruel as that â¦'
âOh, but you English know nothing!' She leapt to her feet. âHe would very easily sacrifice me to such a man for the sake of preserving the rest of the family!' She was quivering from head to toe with quite another emotion than fear now. He could see that. Indignation had brought a decidedly militant gleam to her eye. She was incapable of standing still. Taking brisk little paces between the sofa and the fireplace, she did not notice that she was systematically trampling the bonnet, which had fallen to the floor when she had leapt to her feet. It occurred to him, when she stepped on it for the third time, that her sister would never have been so careless of her apparel. Not that she would have been seen dead in such an unflattering item in the first place.
âAnd, besides being so cruel, he is quite old!' She shuddered.
âI am thirty-five, you know,' he pointed out.
She paused mid-stride, running her eyes over him assessingly. The Earl's light blue eyes twinkled with amusement from a face that was devoid of lines of care. Elegant clothes covered a healthily muscled physique. His tawny hair was a little disarrayed this morning, to be sure, but it was neither receding nor showing any hint of grey. âI did not know you were as old as that,' she eventually admitted with candour.
Once again, Charles was hard put to it not to burst out laughing at the absurdity of this little creature who had invaded the darkness of his lair like some cheeky little song bird hopping about between a lion's paws, pecking for crumbs, confident she was too insignificant to rate the energy required to swat her.
âCome, child, admit it. You are too young to marry anyone!'
âWell, yes!' she readily admitted. âBut Felice was younger, and you still wanted to marry her. And in time, of course, I will grow older. And by then you might have got used to me. You might even be able to teach me how to behave better!' she said brightly. Then, just as quickly, her face fell. Although I very much doubt it.'
She subsided into the chair opposite his own, leaning her elbows on her knees. âI suppose I always knew I could not be any sort of wife to you.' She gazed up at him mournfully. âBut I know I would have been better off with you. For even if you are as old as you say, you don't â¦' Her forehead wrinkled, as though it was hard for her to find the words she wanted. âYou don't smell like him.'
Finding it increasingly hard to keep his face straight, he said, âPerhaps you could encourage your suitor to bathe â¦'
Her eyes snapped with anger. Taking a deep breath, she flung at him, âOh, it is easy for you to laugh at me. You
think I am a foolish little woman of no consequence. But this is no laughing matter to me. Whenever he comes close I want to run to a window and open it and breathe clean air. It is like when you go into a room that has been shut up too long, and you know something has decayed in it. And before you make the joke about bathing again, I must tell you that it is in my head that I smell this feeling. In my heart!' She smote her breast. âHe is steeped in so much blood!'
However absurdly she was behaving, however quaint her way of expressing herself, there was no doubt that she really felt repelled by the man her father thought she ought to marry. It was a shame that such a sensitive little creature should be forced into a marriage that was so distasteful to her. Though he could never contemplate marrying her himself, he did feel a pang of sympathy. And, in that spirit, he asked, âDo I take it this man is a soldier, then?'
A hero of France,' she replied gloomily. âIt is an honour for our family that such a man should wish for an alliance. An astonishment to my papa that any man should really want to take on a little mouse like me. You wonder how I came to his notice, perhaps?' When Charles nodded, humouring her whilst privately wondering why on earth it was taking Giddings so long to procure a cab to send her home in, she went on, âHe commanded Gaspard's regiment in Spain. He was â¦' An expression of anguish crossed her face. âI was not supposed to hear. But people sometimes do talk when I am there, assuming that I am not paying attentionâfor I very often don't, you know. My brother sometimes talked about the Spanish campaign. The things his officers commanded him to do! Such barbarity!' She shuddered. âI am not so stupid that I would willingly surrender to a man who has treated other women and children
like cattle in a butcher's shop. And forced decent Frenchmen to descend to his level. And how is it,' she continued, her fists clenching, âthat while my brother died of hunger outside what you call the lines of Torres Vedras, Du Mauriac came home looking as fit as a flea?'
âDu Mauriac?' Charles echoed. âThe man your father wishes you to marry is Du Mauriac?'
Heloise nodded. As commander of Gaspard's regiment, he was often in our home when my brother was still alive. He used to insist it was I who sat beside him. From my hand that he wished to be served.' She shuddered. âThen, after Gaspard died, he kept right on visiting. Papa says I am stupid to persist in refusing his proposals. He says I should feel honoured that a man so distinguished persists in courting me when I have not even beauty to recommend me. But he does not see that it is mainly my reluctance that Du Mauriac likes. He revels in the knowledge that, though he repels me, my parents will somehow contrive to force me to surrender to him!'
Heloise ground to a halt, her revulsion at the prospect of what marriage to Du Mauriac would entail finally overwhelming her. Bowing forward, she buried her face in her hands until she had herself under control. And then, alerted by the frozen silence which filled the room, she looked up at the Earl of Walton. Up until that moment she would have said he had been experiencing little more than mild amusement at her expense. But now his eyes had returned to that glacial state which had so intimidated her when first she had walked into the room. Except ⦠now his anger was not directed at her. Indeed, it was as if he had frozen her out of his consciousness altogether.
âGo home,
mademoiselle,'
he said brusquely, rising to his feet and tugging at the bell pull. âThis interview is at an end.'
He meant it this time. With a sinking heart, Heloise turned and stumbled to the door. She had offended him somehow, by being so open about her feelings of revulsion for the man her father had decided she should marry. She had staked everything on being honest with the Earl of Walton.
But she had lost.
I
t came as something of a shock, once the door had closed on Heloise's dejected little figure, when Conningsby stepped in over the windowsill.
âMy God,' the man blustered. âIf I had known this room overlooked the street, and I was to have spent the entire interview wedged onto a balcony when I fully expected to be able to escape through your gardens â¦'
âAnd the curtains were no impediment to your hearing every single word, I shouldn't wonder?' The Earl sighed. âDare I hope you will respect the confidentiality of that conversation?'