Regency 02 - Betrayal (21 page)

Bri was at the door and turning the handle
before she had quite grasped the idea to do so. She pushed the door
open and walked into the room, closing it behind her with a soft
click.

Lady Rothsmere approached the bed slowly,
unsure what she would find and fearing it would be too much for her
to handle. Her precious Adam was hurt and it was all her fault.

She stood beside the bed, her hands clenched
into fists at her sides. She bit her lip to hold back the sobs of
rage and despair. Silent tears streaked down her pale cheeks.

Adam’s face was battered and bruised. His lip
was split and puffy with a trickle of blood coming from the cut.
She was sure both eyes would be swollen shut and black. There was a
deep cut that started in the middle of his forehead and disappeared
diagonally into his hair.

He was still fully clothed and lying on top
of the bedclothes. She looked at his hand where it was lying over
his stomach, two fingers quite obviously broken and swollen. She
was sure he had broken and bruised ribs and possibly a broken leg
as well.

Bri sat down on the edge of the bed and tried
in vain to stop the sobs. They were too persistent, however, and
she found herself crying as if her heart was broken.

And perhaps it was. Her only love was
dying.

She reached out and very gently clasped his
other hand, which was miraculously not injured, and held it against
her chest. Leaning down, she brushed a soft kiss to his cheek. She
started talking to him, hoping and praying that he could hear her,
that he would understand and fight to live.

“Adam, I love you. Please don’t die. I can’t
live without you. You have to survive. You have to live so I can
show you how much I love you. Please don’t die.”

All this was said against his skin as she lay
her head down next to him. Her tears bathed his neck and
shoulder.

She was unaware of the passage of time. She
lay there until someone entered the room and took her gently by the
shoulder. She allowed this person to help her stand and lead her
from the room. By this time, she was so numb inside with pain and
fear that she was unaware of nearly everything around her.

With a pain-filled groan, Adam Prestwich
returned to the land of the living. He wondered if he was dying.
His whole body felt as though he had been dragged behind a horse
across the rocky moors of Cornwall. Naked.

He attempted to open his eyes. One refused
outright and the other would cooperate only enough to allow him a
very narrow view of the room he was in. He recognized his chamber
at Northwicke.

What the devil was he doing at Northwicke?
The last thing he remembered was stepping out of his townhouse with
the intention of going to a party or some such nonsense and
then…nothing.

What happened?

He tried struggling into a sitting position
but was hindered by what felt like boulders pinning down his legs.
A sharp pain shot up one arm causing him to cease attempted
movement for the time being.

“Shh, Adam, love. Calm yourself.”

He recognized Raven’s husky voice. He tried
to locate her with his one good eye. She appeared above him with a
sweet smile. He nearly sighed in relief.

“What happened?” he asked with a grunt as he
tried to move his limbs, which again protested vehemently. He
groaned again.

“Stop, you’ll make your injuries worse,” Miss
Emerson replied firmly. “You were set upon by footpads, my dear.
Now rest.”

Adam struggled to process what she was
saying. It was difficult with the dull, sharp, and throbbing aches
that seemed to completely consume his entire body.

“Footpads? Impossible. You must be
jesting.”

“Adam Prestwich, you need to rest. We will
talk about this later.” She paused and studied him worriedly, a
very evident war going on behind her dark eyes. She seemed to come
to some decision and continued. “You were beat pretty badly, Adam.
Lord Connor was unsure you’d live. He had no idea what internal
injuries you may have sustained. The other physician he called had
no better luck and less hope. Here, take this.”

She shoved a spoon of some evil-smelling and
foul-tasting concoction into his mouth before he had a chance to
close it.

“Are you trying to kill me?” he asked
hoarsely with a look of disgust on his handsome face.

Raven laughed lowly. “Of course, my dear. I
am always out to kill, you know. Why not you, hmm? Perhaps you have
left me something in your will, no?”

Adam groaned again to keep his lips from
twitching into a smile and tried to fight the effects of the
medicine that was rapidly putting him to sleep. He remembered an
odd dream he had had while he was out and turned determinedly
towards Raven.

“Where’s Bri?” he asked on a mere breath of
sound.

He saw her expression grow very worried, sad
even. “She is with Lady Connor, Adam. She’s fine. Now sleep.”

The room grew very dark and Adam could no
longer fight it. His last coherent thought before oblivion claimed
him was that his ex-mistress was a terrible liar.

Bri was not fine. She was far from it, in
fact. She was clinging to her sanity by a mere thread. Everyone was
worried; no one knew what to do. Verena and Brewster were with her
nearly every second of the day. She seemed to have slipped into a
sort of void where no one existed but herself and her loss.

For some reason, everyone’s assurances that
Adam was fine, that he would live, wouldn’t penetrate her
depression. Connor wouldn’t let her near the sickroom until he was
sure Adam was definitely on the mend. Then he was unsure if it
would be wise even then.

The countess sat for long hours watching the
activity in the square. She had been moved to Northwicke along with
Connor, Verena, and Greville. Her cousin tried to break through her
defenses but he met with unwonted disappointment. Verena’s twins
had also been moved along with their nanny but even the delightful
antics of the children failed to reach her.

It was Raven who succeeded in waking Bri from
her trance a full week after the attack. She found the young
countess at her usual spot in the drawing room, staring out into
the square. Bri didn’t even look up when Raven sat down next to her
and very gently took her hand.

“Bri,” the actress said softly. “Bri, you
must listen to me, my dear.”

Raven waited patiently until Lady Rothsmere
turned vacant emerald eyes on her. “Adam wants to see you. He is
asking for you. Has been for two days now, in fact.” A light leapt
into the countess’s eyes. Raven frowned then, employing all of her
acting skills to break through Bri’s protective shell. “But I
cannot allow it if you are going to be like this. He needs someone
to cheer him. You, my lady, are not very cheery right now.”

Something akin to anger flashed in Bri’s
emerald eyes. Then she opened her mouth and spoke for the first
time since she had been pulled away from Adam’s side.

“That was impertinent, Miss Emerson.”

“Yes, it was,” the actress replied with a
pleased smile. “Will you see Adam now, my dear?”

“Of course.”

Bri felt alive for the first time in over a
week, no, in three years, when she entered Adam’s room and saw him
sitting up in bed watching her. His smile was all for her, she
knew. She returned his smile and examined him with her eyes to
reassure herself that he was, indeed, on the mend.

His one eye was still swelled partly shut but
the other was wide open and alert. His broken hand lay motionless
on the coverlet and his other hand was flexing restlessly beside
him. He moved his body briefly and she caught the wince of pain
that he wasn’t quite successful in hiding.

She rushed to his side. “Oh, Adam, my love,
are you all right?”

Adam grinned, ignoring the pain. “Your love,
Bri?” he asked softly.

She stepped back, embarrassed. She remembered
Raven suddenly and looked around self-consciously.

“She is gone. I asked to see you alone.”

“Why?” she asked a trifle breathlessly.

Adam patted the bed beside him. “Sit and I
will tell you.”

Bri sat down next to him primly. She kept her
back straight and tried to control her breathing. He was staring at
her as if he was trying to divine her innermost secrets and it made
her uncomfortable.

She appeared thinner, he thought. And somehow
the shine that always seemed to surround her was missing. Her hair
was a duller shade of the normally vibrant red and her green eyes
were shadowed. Her dress hung like a sack on her. Where on earth
had she found such an unattractive gown?

Adam pushed that thought aside and wondered
what the devil he was thinking to ask to see her alone. He had no
right to speak to her. It was dishonorable for him to do so. But he
loved her. And he remembered her telling him that she loved
him.

It couldn’t have been a dream. He refused to
believe it had been the mindless wanderings of his own fevered
brain. It had to be real.

“Do you love me?” he asked her before he
realized what he was even going to say.

She started. And avoided looking at him.
“Why?”

“I seem to remember a green-eyed goddess
telling me that she loved me and couldn’t face life without me. I
thought it was you.” His eyes teased her. “Perhaps I was
mistaken.”

Bri took a deep breath and forced her eyes to
meet his. Then she was trapped. She opened her mouth to speak but
he words wouldn’t come and she gazed into his helplessly until he
finally broke away and fiddled with the coverlet, staring at his
hand.

“Forgive me, Lady Rothsmere,” he said
stiffly. “I had no right to tease you so. Your feelings are
irrelevant. As are mine.”

“What?” Irrelevant? What on earth was he
talking about?

Adam looked at her. Her emerald eyes were
confused and her face held a hurt look. He sighed. “I can’t speak,
Bri. It’s not honorable. I have…things to take care of before I can
speak. I…” He trailed off and looked away from her.

What is there to lose?
she wondered
with a mental shrug. “Adam, I do love you,” she whispered. “Tell me
what prevents you from speaking the same words.”

Adam took a deep breath, tried to think of
some way out of his current predicament, and sighed when he
admitted that she had to know. “I’m married,” he finally said
dully.

She couldn’t breathe. It felt just like
someone had punched her in the stomach. She saw the blackness
threaten to engulf her and fought it back. She would
not
swoon! Of every possible excuse, marriage was not one she could
have imagined.

He was married. “Do you love her?” she asked
in a tiny voice.

“I have not for some time,” he answered
honestly. “But that does not change the fact that I am married. She
is in Cornwall with my cousin Miles right now. I was planning to go
there and see her because…well, because she’s dying.”

Bri felt very guilty for the sudden leap of
hope she felt at his words. “I don’t know what to say,” she finally
offered lamely. “You say you do not love her so to say I’m sorry
you are about to lose her seems pointless. To be pleased about your
imminent release is just evil.”

“Yes,” he agreed. “Miles insists she is not
the same woman she once was. I have decided to listen to him for
once in my life and return home to see for myself.”

“I think you should,” Bri offered softly.

“You do?”

Bri looked into his stormy eyes, read the
surprised curiosity there and half-smiled. “Yes, Adam. I think
there is some hurt in you that has everything to do with her.
Perhaps if she has changed, you will be able to forgive yourself
for abandoning her.”

He started. “How did you know…?”

“It wasn’t hard to determine,” she said with
a smile. “You showed your pain and distrust too many times for me
not to notice. She did something to destroy your faith in women.
You left her and have felt guilty over that ever since. It is time
to absolve that guilt, Adam.”

He said nothing and just continued to look at
her. She forced herself not to fidget under his steady gaze.

“Who is Levi?” he asked abruptly.

“Levi?” He nodded. “You have met him. He is
my cousin Greville. Did no one ever tell you his Christian
name?”

He flushed. “No, no one ever did.”

“What made you think of it?” she asked in
amusement.

Adam stared hard at her and turned away
before answering. “I have been jealous of him ever since the first
time I heard his name.”

“Whatever for?”

“Mrs. Campion told me you mumbled his name
when you were feverish. I haven’t been able to get rid of the urge
I felt then to find out who he was and remove him from your life,”
he admitted with a rueful grin.

“Levi likes you, you know.”

Adam raised one dark brow at her.

“He does. Told me you were a great gun. I
called him a traitor,” she admitted teasingly.

Adam’s good humor fled. His face turned grim
and tortured. “I am sorry for that, Bri.”

Bri lost her own smile. “For what?” she asked
very quietly.

“For not believing you. For returning you to
hell. For allowing them to do what they did. God, Bri, I am sorry,”
he ended on a shuddering breath, tears standing out in his eyes as
he thought of everything she had been through because of him.

Bri reached out and took his hand. “You are
not to blame, dearest. Truly. I may have been angry with you at
first but I never understood. I understand now and I forgive you
for not believing me. I am sorry for this.” She gestured helplessly
at his broken limbs. “I am to blame because you defended me.
Forgive me.”

“Listen to us,” Adam said with a chuckle.
“Begging each other’s forgiveness for events beyond our control.
Pathetic.”

“Yes, quite,” she agreed. She tried to
release his hand but he wouldn’t let go so she just held it
tighter.