Refining Fire (27 page)

He said nothing for a moment, and Abrianna feared she had offended him. Goodness, but men were so easily put out. She tried to reason how she might soothe his feelings when he appeared to completely recover and changed the subject.

“I have found a ship that will take the Chinese girls back to their homeland.”

“Truly?” It was news most exciting.

“Yes.” He gave a chuckle. “I'm glad to see that at least something related to me brings you joy.”

She ignored his comment. “Tell me, when can the girls be returned? Now that they are recovering from their ordeal, at least where their health is concerned, I know that my aunts are anxious to see them where they belong.”

“As am I,” Welby replied in a most matter-of-fact manner. “The ship leaves next Thursday. I have already told Mrs. Madison that I will make the arrangements.”

“Wonderful!” Abrianna clapped her hands together. “That is such joyous news.” She forgot herself and reached out to give him a hug as she would have Wade.

Welby took full advantage of the moment, and before Abrianna could offer protest he pulled her close and covered her mouth with his own. Her stomach clenched, and a wave of something akin to anxiety flooded her emotions. Abrianna pushed him away and gave him a most disapproving glare.

“You had no right.”

He seemed put out, but his words were apologetic. “I am sorry. I lost my wits.” He smiled, seeming to change his mood once again. “I can't help but be overcome with my feelings for you. When you approached me, I lost all reason. Please forgive me.”

He sounded sincere enough, but Abrianna detected something of pride and arrogance in his countenance. He didn't strike her as truly being all that sorry.

“I will forgive you, Mr. Welby. It was in part my fault. I forgot myself. I am used to my friendship with Mr. Ackerman. He has always been a dear friend since we were young, and I find that we are quite comfortable together.” A frown came as her thoughts betrayed her. Wade was the only man she had ever truly felt comfortable with. He was always someone she could rely on, trust, and confide in. He was to her all the things Priam Welby wished to be.

Mr. Welby cleared his throat, and Abrianna shook off her thoughts. “I must be going,” he said, giving her a little bow. “I will speak to your aunt tomorrow. Tell her I will make all the arrangements for your house guests and bring her the details.”

They reached the front porch once again. Abrianna bid him farewell and watched Mr. Welby leave in his fine carriage. With
out thought to her gown, Abrianna plopped down on one of the steps and pondered the events that had just taken place. Welby's kiss had meant nothing to her. Instead, it had put her off. She had no desire to be in his arms. She couldn't even conjure up feelings for the man that weren't edged with mistrust and suspicion. There was nothing of the ease she found with Wade.

She placed her elbow on her knee and leaned her head in her hand. And always there was Wade. Day after day she could see that her heart was more tied to him than she'd realized. She had so long thought she would remain single—doing God's work—that to find herself pondering courtship and marriage to Priam Welby seemed at best unrealistic. But when she thought of Wade, those ideas left her with different feelings altogether. For just a moment she allowed her heart and mind to inspect the possibilities more deeply.

“Do I feel more for Wade than just friendship?”

H
ave you ever seen a more beautiful morning?”

Militine glanced at Abrianna and smiled. “It could be pouring rain, and it would still be perfect. It's my wedding day, and I am happier than I've ever been.”

Abrianna helped to secure flowers in Militine's simply styled hairdo. “Well, it would not be so perfect if it were pouring rain. That would ruin everything. The garden would be all droopy, and the cake and breakfast ruined. Not to mention these curls would never hold. Instead of looking like a Grecian goddess, you would look like sad wet . . . well . . . you would look bad.”

Militine laughed and moved to see herself in the mirror. “But all that matters is that Thane and I can be together. I never thought I would ever want to marry, but here I am.”

She could see Abrianna looking at her strangely in the mirror's reflection. “So what changed your mind?”

“Feeling loved and finding the right man to love in return.” Militine studied her appearance. She hadn't wanted to wear frills and silks. She and Thane were simple people, and because of that she wanted to wear a simple gown.

This is truly happening—to me.
She thought of her mother,
so long gone from her.
Oh, Mama, how I wish you could be here with me.
A tear slipped from her eye.

“You look beautiful,” Abrianna told her. “That green is a good color for you.”

“I do love it.” Militine wiped the tear with her finger and pushed aside those thoughts that would only sadden her.

“I still don't know why women like these bustled backs.” Abrianna twisted to look at her own gown of light yellow trimmed in lilac. “I find them such an annoyance.”

“No doubt, given time, the fashion will change again, Abrianna. At least we aren't required to wear hoops.”

Abrianna stopped her study and nodded. “Yes. You are correct about that, and I should not complain on your wedding day. I apologize profusely and ask your forgiveness. I suppose some of my anxiety has to do with acting as your maid of honor.”

“But why?”

She shrugged. “The wedding atmosphere has given me cause to think on my own situation. I found in you a dear friend of the heart, one who understood my ideals and planned to never marry. But now I find that entire ideal disrupted.”

“Because I'm marrying? But that shouldn't cause you grief. You aren't the one marrying. You can go on with your ideal.”

“I know.” Abrianna looked almost confused. “I just don't know that I want to.”

With nerves taut, Thane recited his wedding vows. He had watched Militine come down the garden path on the arm of Mr. Cunningham and thought he might well do a most unmanly thing and pass out cold. She was radiant in her attire and beamed at him as though he were a gallant knight who had just saved her from a dragon. But that only served to make him more light-headed. Why women cherished such fanfare was beyond
him. Seemed to him a couple were just as married whether they spoke the words in private or before finely clad guests.

They had opted for a judge to marry them rather than a minister, given that the church elders had dismissed Pastor Walker. Thane had never liked the man anyway, and wasn't sorry to see him go.

Wade stood at his side as his best man, and Abrianna stood up with Militine. Despite his anxiety, Thane knew all was as it should be. Now, if Wade could just come to his senses about Abrianna and vice versa.

When instructed to kiss the bride, Thane did so with trembling and awe. All the times he'd kissed her before were special, but this one spoke of a permanency that actually frightened him. What had he done? He was now responsible for a wife, and he didn't have a dime to his name or a home of his own. Had they been completely foolish in this endeavor?

Throughout the wedding breakfast he considered the matter and felt almost guilty for having gone ahead with the wedding. It wasn't a case of cold feet. He wanted to be a husband to Militine more than anything else, but he feared that he'd put both of them in a bad position.

“Do you think I made a mistake?” he asked Wade.

“What?” His friend looked incredulous. “What's gotten into you?”

Thane shook his head. He glanced around to make sure no one else could overhear. “I have nothing, Wade. I can't offer her anything that isn't borrowed.”

“I don't see that she minds,” Wade replied. “Besides, it won't be long at the rate we're working for you to put aside a good deal and build your own house or buy one already established. I wouldn't worry overmuch about it. I think together you two will do well. You're both sensible and solid in your thinking.”

Thane felt his misgivings fade a bit. “I suppose you're right. I just keep worrying that I won't be the husband she needs me to be.”

“If you love her with all your heart and stay true to her alone,” Wade said, his attention fixed somewhere behind Thane, “you'll be what she needs.”

Thane followed his friend's gaze. Abrianna stood laughing about something. “I think,” Thane whispered, “that maybe you should follow your own advice.”

Militine appeared at Thane's side. “Aren't you weary of this breakfast? I think we should just slip away and leave the others to their revelry.”

Thane feigned surprise. “Why, Mrs. Patton, what a scandalous suggestion. I'm only sorry I didn't pose it myself.”

The Fourth of July Celebration proved to be a wonderful idea. People flooded the grounds of the Madison Bridal School and danced and ate throughout the day as if the great fire had never happened. Reports came from everywhere that the town was well on its way to recovery. Already there were tents erected for most every purpose. The Methodist church, which had burned to the ground, now held tent services atop the site of their former building. They were well into plans for rebuilding, as were many others.

The mayor announced that over two hundred businesses now operated out of tents, and the new platting of the roads was being worked to accommodate every possible need. The city had agreed to take control of the waterworks and promised new, more efficient waterlines. The Yesler Dock had been repaired so as to receive passengers and freight, and the coal bunkers, where some three hundred tons of coal had burned for days after the main fire had been extinguished, were replaced with
new bunkers. The good people of Seattle were reclaiming their lives and in the mood for celebration.

Now, if only I could reclaim my life and figure out my future.

Abrianna placed her plate of uneaten food on one of the picnic tables. She longed to be away from the others in order to think. The extensive grounds of the Madison Bridal School afforded her some privacy as she took herself on a walk.

Abrianna tried to maintain a positive spirit. Mr. Welby had come to the party, bringing her a huge bouquet of flowers. The week before he had taken Aunt Miriam and the Chinese girls to the ship
Northern Star
. Aunt Miriam had inspected the quarters to be given the young girls, as well as the matronly woman who would act as their escort. The woman, it was said, was returning to her work as a missionary in China and would oversee the return of these girls to their families. It was all very efficiently done, Aunt Miriam declared.

Welby seemed quite pleased with himself. Maybe Wade was right and Welby was a cold and calculating man, but at least he'd done right by those poor girls. Mindless of her lovely gown, Abrianna took a seat on the ground under a large cottonwood tree. It would still be a little while before the sky was dark and the fireworks display would commence. Maybe this time alone would help put her mind at ease.

Relieved that Priam had kept his word, Abrianna still wrestled with the conflict in her heart. The more she thought about it, the more his kiss repulsed her. Would she feel that way about all men and their kisses? Would she remain unmarried and become a spinster like Aunt Poisie? The feelings of indecision and confusion overwhelmed her. Whatever God required of her, she would do. No question. But what was He requiring?

“Those look like some deep thoughts.” Wade crouched down. “I was surprised to see you leave the party, and now I find you here with a worried look on your face. Normally you're
concocting some crazy plan when your brow gets that deeply furrowed.” His laughter floated over her.

Her stomach tightened as she looked up at him. Strange feelings in Wade's presence were not normal. Yet here they were, twisting and turning and flipping her stomach into knots. Earlier she'd watched him laughing and appearing quite content in the company of Clara and Elizabeth, all the while suffering through her own emotions that bordered on longing and anguish. Surprisingly, however, she'd had nothing to say, at least nothing she felt she could say.

“You look awfully lonely here by yourself,” Wade said, taking a seat on the ground beside her. “Is something wrong?”

“I don't know.” Her honesty would, of course, open the subject up for discussion, but perhaps it was time to resolve it. She still couldn't figure out if she wanted more from Wade than friendship.

“That's not like you,” Wade replied.

She looked at him. Really studied him for a moment. His brown hair had been sun-kissed from long hours of working outdoors. She'd never known it to be that way before, but then there generally weren't so many sunny days in Seattle. His eyes held her attention the longest. Their dark coloring, a rich brown earthy tone, had always been pleasing to Abrianna. Wade's nose, broad smile, and rugged jaw were well ordered, and his ears, unlike Mr. Welby's, were perfect in size and placement. He was a handsome man.

“Oh, stuff and nonsense.” She jumped to her feet. “I find myself quite perplexed. Vexed really, and I don't know how to resolve my confusion.”

Wade got to his feet. “Have I done something to disturb you?”

“Yes.” She shook her head. “No. I don't know what it is.” She paced a bit, always throwing him a glance. Finally, she decided to just have it out.

“Mr. Welby kissed me.”

“He what?” Wade's scowl did nothing to give her pause.

“Just hear me out.” She put her hands on her hips and faced him. “He kissed me, but I didn't like it. In fact, I found it to be most unpleasant. Earlier he kept talking about our courtship and how he could make me fall in love with him, but I didn't believe him. The entire time all I could think about was you and how you had warned me against him.”

“Well, at least that's something.”

Wade sounded sarcastic, but Abrianna wasn't to be dissuaded from continuing. “As he continued to talk, as he has always done in promoting himself, I found his words to appear sincere but unmoving. I kept pondering if I was ever meant for love.

“You know full well that I believe God has called me to serve Him with my life, and Mr. Welby assured me that I could do that as his wife, but it did not ring true. I believe if I married him, he would soon have me planning parties and serving teas to his associates' wives. Can't you see it? Silver service and china cups for twelve or twenty? Ladies in their finest, and all that stuff and nonsense about the latest gossip and who was courting whom and what scandalous event had taken place at the opera?” She shook her head. “I couldn't bear it. I would go mad within a month.