Redemption Road (Roughneck #3) (2 page)

Chapter 2

“Mackenzie?” Dr. Weston said my name quietly, as he stood in the doorway of the break room.

“Yes, sir?” I asked nervously, as I gathered my stuff to head home for the day.

“Can I see you in my office, please?” he said, as he took his glasses off his face and rubbed the tip of his nose with his fingers.

“Uh, sure,” I said. I knew this wasn’t good. He never called anyone into his office unless they were in trouble. Damn it, I couldn’t lose my job. I would never get my student loans caught up if I had to find a different job. Plus, I had been working so hard to tuck money away each paycheck. I didn’t want to start over. My eyes immediately began to well up with tears as I closed my locker and stared at the floor.

“I’m sure it’s fine,” Sam said from across the room, after Dr. Weston walked away.

I looked at Sam and almost broke down crying right then.

“Don’t.” Sam whispered when she noticed.

“Ok,” I said quietly, and cleared my throat to keep the tears away. I was so thankful to have Sam back at work. I knew she needed those months off work after she lost the baby to put herself back together, but I sure was glad to have her back.

“Just push your boobs up and lean over while he’s talking; he’ll forget everything else,” she said, with a giggle.

I couldn’t help but laugh a little. Sam always knew how to make me feel better about situations.

“You were blessed with those big ass things, you might as well use them to your advantage,” she said with a wink.

“Hush, they’re not that big!” I lied. They were. They always had been. The boys always teased me in school, asking if I stuffed my bra. Then as I got older, everyone loved to ask if I had implants. That was almost laughable. My parents would have went insane if I ever did something like that to my body. They were already convinced I was tainted and headed straight to hell, they didn’t need more ammunition.

“Wish me luck,” I whispered to Sam, as I headed out of the break room.

“It’s gonna be ok,” she said, with a weak smile.

I tried to smile back at her, but I didn’t do a very good job.

“Dr. Weston?” I said, as I knocked quietly on his office door.

He was looking over paperwork on his desk, rubbing the back of his neck. He was usually nice, but he always looked stressed out.

“Will you shut the door please?” he asked.

“Have a seat, Mackenzie,” he said, once I closed the door.

I sat down and put my hands on my knees, holding then in place, forcing them to quit bouncing up and down. It was a nervous habit.

“I noticed you were late again this morning,” he said, as he took his glasses off and sat them on a stack of papers.

“I was; I’m sorry,” I said honestly.

“Look, Mackenzie, you’re a good front desk assistant, but…”

“Oh, Dr. Weston, please don’t fire me!” I pleaded. “It won’t happen again, I promise. I really need this job.”

“I’m not going to fire you, Mackenzie,” he said with a chuckle.

“You’re not?” I asked, trying to not cry tears of relief.

“No. But I did want to talk to you about a couple of things,” he said.

“Oh, ok,” I said, trying to smile.

“Now, as I was saying, you’ve been late a couple of times. Is everything ok at home?” he asked.

“Oh yeah, everything is fine. Mornings are just hectic,” I said, partially lying.

“Would it be easier for you to come in an hour later and stay an hour later? Is that something you might consider?” he asked.

“Um, sure. If that’s what you prefer,” I said.

“The reason I’m asking, is because we are about to start a new software and I have no idea how it works. But I pulled your resume, and saw that you have three years of computer software management.”

“I do,” I said, remembering how much I loved those classes in college.

“But you didn’t graduate college?” he asked curiously.

“I didn’t,” I said. I didn’t want to explain the situation to him.

“Ok,” he said. I could tell he didn’t want to pry.

“Would you be willing to study up on this software and train the other girls on it? It might require a little extra time in the office, but I’m more than happy to give you a raise. I think you have the skills to get this new system lined out, and I need your help, to be honest.”

“I would love to,” I said, excited about doing a job I truly enjoyed, although most people would find it boring.

“Oh, thank God,” he said, with a sigh. “I really wanted to do this in-house. I didn’t want some pimple-faced tech kid coming in trying to explain to me a more efficient way to run my practice.”

“I’m more than happy to help, thank you, Dr. Weston,” I said, with a genuine smile.

“No, thank you. Now, I have some of the paperwork here, but I don’t understand a damn word of it. Would you mind looking over it and explaining it to me in Layman’s terms?” he said, as he handed me a stack of papers.

“Sure,” I said, and took the stack from him.

An hour later, I got in my car, ready to head home. I was so excited that Dr. Weston was giving me the opportunity to learn this software and train the other girls. This is what I loved to do. But my excitement was short lived when I felt my phone buzz in my purse. It was still set on silent from work.

Jake: Where the hell are you?

Oh, no. I had eight missed calls from him and three text messages. I knew he would be on a rampage when I got home. So I just sat in the parking lot and tried to gather my thoughts. I had such a good afternoon; I didn’t want to fight with him. But he enjoyed ruining my days entirely too much to let this go.

Me: Sorry, had to stay late at the office. But I have good news.

Jake: Don’t care. Hurry up.

I started to get mad. Why couldn’t he just be happy for me for once? Why did he always want to fight? Why did he like to hurt me? I was so sick of being hurt. I was sick of being sad, and feeling beat down. I was tired of feeling like I couldn’t do anything right. I was tired of him.

I watched Dr. Weston lock the front door and then head in my direction. So I rolled my window down as he got closer.

“Everything ok?” he asked.

“Oh yeah, I was just checking messages,” I said, as I waved my phone to him. “I’m leaving now.”

“Ok, see you in the morning,” he said with a wave, as he walked to his SUV.

“Ok, bye,” I said with a fake smile, as I started the engine.

I waited for Dr. Weston to pull out of the parking lot, and then I pulled out behind him. I looked in my rearview mirror as I got on the highway, and noticed Jake’s Kia pulling behind me. He knew where I was when he texted me. He was spying on me. He was always looking for me to do something wrong. I felt guilty every single day about what happened with Kash a few months ago. Jake didn’t even have a clue though, and I still got accused of sleeping with every man in town. Sometimes I wondered if it even mattered. He treated me like a slut, anyway. But I put that thought out of my mind. I wouldn’t be a whore. I made a mistake. One that I was truly sorry for. I wasn’t a cheater, and no matter how much I was starting to despise Jake, we were still together, whether I liked it or not.

When I pulled into the driveway, Jake was still right behind me. I tried to give myself a minute, to brace myself for his wrath. But he was at my door in just a few seconds.

“Were you sucking his dick, under his desk, after everyone left?” Jake asked, as he stared at me with cold eyes.

“Are you kidding me, Jake?” I said, as I glared at him. I was so sick of the ugly things he said to me. I was almost to my breaking point.

“Do I look like I’m kidding?” he said with a snarl. “Get in the house,” he said, as he looked around. I guess he was making sure no one was watching him be his true self.

I grabbed my purse and got out of my car. Jake grabbed my elbow and dug his fingertips into my skin as he led me inside. I tried to pull my arm away, but it hurt worse when I tried to loosen his grip.

Once we got inside, I pulled my arm out of his grasp. It felt like carpet burn as it ripped away, but I didn’t care. I didn’t want his hands touching me. I put my purse down on the bar and started to walk into the kitchen. Jake was a step behind me.

“Are you sleeping with him?” Jake asked, his eyes full of fury.

“Oh my God, no! Why do you always think I’m sleeping with everyone? It’s getting old, you know!” I said, trying not to yell.

“Well, if you don’t like it, you can hit the road, Mackenzie. But if I recall, you have nowhere to go. No one to help you. I’m all you’ve got. Nobody else gives a damn what happens to you.”

My eyes welled up with tears.  He was right, I didn’t have any family that I could depend on. I hated feeling stuck.

“Aw, are you going to cry?” he asked, sarcastically. “Those big tears of yours don’t mean shit, Mackenzie,” he said, and then walked away from me.

“You’re such a dick!” I yelled, without even thinking about it. I’ve never yelled at him before, and the name calling has always been one-sided. But I couldn’t take it anymore. I hated how bad he made me feel, every single day.

He spun on his heel and stared at me with huge eyes, and then took long strides until his toes were touching mine.

“What the fuck did you just say?” he said, as he grabbed my chin and squeezed it. I pushed his hand away and tried to go around him.

“Answer me, Mackenzie!” he said, as he pinned me against the wall with his chest.

“Get away from me!” I said, as I pushed his chest off of me and tried to put distance between us. He was starting to scare me. I had dealt with his name calling and treating me like shit for months, pretending like his words didn’t shatter me. I had dealt with him coming home drunk all the time, having sex with me while I pretended to be asleep. But this was getting out of control.

Who was I kidding? This had been out of control for months.

“I’ll get away from you when I damn well please!” he said through gritted teeth, as I watched saliva seep through his mouth. “You don’t run shit around here, you got that!” he said, as he grabbed both of my forearms and squeezed them, then pushed me against the bar, my back hitting the corner.

“I hate you!” I screamed, through the stinging in my back.

But the pain in my back was nothing compared to the burn on my cheek as his fist connected to it. The popping sound alone, made me cringe. When his fist dropped, he stared at me with wide eyes. I put my hand up to my face and felt my teeth with my tongue, praying none of them were knocked out. He hit me. He actually did it. Part of me always knew it would come to this.

“I’m leaving,” I said, calmly. Mainly because my face was hurting too bad to scream.

“You’re not leaving. You have nowhere to go,” he said, with the veins in his neck throbbing.

“I’ll live in my car before I stay another day with you,” I said. And I meant every word of it.

I. Was. Done.

“Mackenzie, wait, I’m sorry,” he said quietly, as I walked quickly to our room.

“It’s too late for apologies, Jake. I can’t do this anymore,” I said, as I walked to the closet to grab my suitcase. My only suitcase. Everything that was mine would fit easily.

“Damn it, Mackenzie! I said I was sorry!” Jake yelled, as he got in my face.

“Leave me alone!” I screamed. “If you don’t leave me alone while I pack my stuff, I’ll call 911 and press charges against you. Then everyone will know who you really are.”

“Fucking bitch!” he yelled, and then turned around and walked out of the bedroom, slamming the door behind him.

I heard the front door slam next, and then his car peel out of the driveway.

I sat on the bed and the tears started to fall. I rubbed my hand across my cheek, reminding myself of the pain. The pain was the only thing giving me the guts to leave.  I didn’t know where the hell I was going to go, but I couldn’t stay with him. I was almost glad he finally did it, so I would have a real reason to leave. One that he couldn’t convince me that I was being dramatic or being childish. But I didn’t know how long he would be gone, so I started gathering up all my things. It was true, I would live in my car before I spent another night in this house. I hated him.

Chapter 3

Now what?

I sat in my car with everything I owned in the backseat, sitting in the parking lot of the community park. I know I said I would sleep in my car before I stayed another night at Jake’s, and I would, but it was dark outside now, and I was getting a little nervous. I had some money put away, hoping that one day I could save up enough for a deposit on a rental. But paying half the bills at Jake’s, on my salary, didn’t leave a lot of room for saving. Plus, Jake always kept tabs on my bank account, just one of the perks he had to working at the only bank in town. I could drive to a hotel, but the closest one was almost an hour away. Between hotel rates and all that gas money, I would be broke in two weeks. Damn it!

The buzz of a text message made my heart rate speed up. I couldn’t help but look in all directions before I checked my phone. I prayed he wasn’t close by. I would be scared to death to even close my eyes here. My eyes filled with tears again. Shit! I was so sick of being scared and worried. I just wanted to be happy. Were my parents right? Was I doomed to God’s punishment? It sure felt that way. When I was sure that I was still alone in the park, I grabbed my phone.

Sam: Was it bad?

Me: ?

Was what bad? How did she know? I thought, as I rubbed my swollen cheek with my fingertips.

Sam: Dr. Weston?

Oh, I had completely forgotten about work.

Me: Oh, sorry. No. It was good.

Sam: R u ok?

Me: No.

I couldn’t lie. I wasn’t going to cover up for Jake anymore. I was sick of pretending a life with him was something that it wasn’t.

Sam: What’s wrong?

Me: I left Jake

Sam: Where are you?

Me: The park

Sam: Why?

Because I’m pathetic. Because I have nowhere to go. Because my parents refuse to have anything to do with me. Because I let my life go to shit. Because I’m alone.

Me: Just clearing my head

Sam: Well clear it at my house! Get over here!

Me: No, that’s ok, I don’t want to intrude.

Sam: Shut up! Moon’s at work. Lainey and Emma are here, we’re just hanging out. Come on.

Me: Are you sure?

Sam: Bitch please!

I couldn’t help but smile a little. Sam always knew how to make me laugh, without even trying.

Me: ok, thanks

I threw my phone in the console and took one last look around before starting my car. Suddenly, going to see the girls seemed like a good idea. Maybe talking to them would make me feel better. Maybe they knew of a cheap rent house or something. Maybe they could steer me in the right direction, because right now, I was completely lost.

On the drive to Sam’s, I spent more time looking in my rearview mirror than I did at the road in front of me. I was completely paranoid.  I knew Jake followed me frequently, and I didn’t want him starting trouble at Sam’s.  This was ridiculous. I was so sick of living like this.

Unhappy. Fearful. Worried. Miserable.

“Hey!” Sam said with a quick smile before her eyes got wide “Holy shit! You have got to be kidding me!” she said with gritted teeth, as her eyes stared at my swollen cheek.

“Can I come in?” I asked, as I took one more look around outside, just in case.

“Of course. Get in here,” she said, as she pulled me by the hand and took a look around for herself before closing the door.

I walked into the living room and saw Lainey on the floor with Emma. She was giggling as Emma was grabbing her cheeks and giving her slobbery kisses.  She was getting so big, and full of so much personality.  I loved getting to see her when Lainey would bring her to the clinic to visit.  She was just a happy baby.

“Hey, Mackenzie,” she said with a giggle, with her eyes closed as she pulled a chunk of her hair out of Emma’s grasp.

“Hey,” I said quietly, but trying to sound cheerful. I was so used to faking my feelings, it almost came natural these days.

“Oh my God!” Lainey said, when she opened her eyes.

“Do you need a drink before you start explaining what the fuck happened?” Sam asked.

“Please,” I said, as I sat on the sofa and put my hands against my knees to keep them from shaking.

“Are you ok?” Lainey asked, as she handed Emma her basket of toys in the corner and sat beside me on the couch.

“Do you want some ice?” she asked, as she pulled a strand of my hair away from my swollen cheek.

“Got it,” Sam said, as she walked back into the living room with a glass of wine and an ice pack.

“Thanks,” I said, as I took both of them from her, and took a long swig of the wine. It was smooth, and immediately settled my nerves just a little.

“Now what the fuck happened?” Sam asked.

“It’s been bad for a long time,” I started.

“Has he hit you before?” Sam asked.

“No, but there’s been other stuff. I mean, he’s grabbed me and pulled my hair once. He always apologized after, but I can’t keep doing this. I hate that I let myself get stuck with him.”

“Why do you feel stuck?” Lainey asked.

“Because I have nowhere to go. I don’t have any family that will even acknowledge me,” I said, as my eyes welled up with tears.

“I’m not following,” Lainey said.

“Her parents disowned her,” Sam said to Lainey. She knew a little of my back-story, but I never gave all the details.

“Why?” Lainey asked. “Sorry, I don’t mean to pry, but we want to help.”

I wasn’t sure if anyone could help me, when I couldn’t even help myself. I had been dealing with this for so long, I felt like a lost cause. I was also tired of keeping everything bottled up inside, it sure wasn’t helping me any.

“Spill,” Sam said.

Here we go. I let out a deep, shaky breath and cleared my throat.

“My parents are very religious. I mean, like I almost felt like I grew up in a cult. It wasn’t of course, but they were so strict, and they were so worried about what everyone in our church thought. I was never allowed to wear makeup, or shorts. I wasn’t even allowed to date, because according to them, I would just fall into a life of sin and that was unacceptable.  I wasn’t even allowed to stay the night with friends, or go to the movies. Nothing. The only places I was able to go were church youth functions.  They didn’t have a clue that some of those kids were worse than my friends at school. I guess when you grow up being completely deprived of everything, you rebel.  But I was a good girl. I never did anything wrong. I wanted to, but I didn’t.  I was too scared of the wrath of God, and my parents. And then I started college. I was so excited to finally have a little freedom. Of course, I couldn’t live in the dorms. My parents refused to pay for college if I was going to surround myself with “filth and sin.” I couldn’t help but laugh a little, they were convinced that everyone was evil.

“So, I had to commute, and they would pay for school. I did everything their way. I came home every night, kept my grades up, and never went to a college party. But my Junior year, I met Jake. I fell in love with him so quick. He was so nice to me, and always wanted me around. I lost my virginity to him after a couple of months and finally felt like an actual person. Someone other than Brother and Sister Harrison’s daughter,” I said with a smirk.

I looked at Sam and Lainey, who were just staring at me with wide eyes. So I continued.

“Jake always said the right things, told me how much he loved me and would take care of me. He told me he wanted to marry me so that I would be his forever. I was so happy, and truly thought he loved me. He would walk me to and from every class. He even bought me a cell phone to keep in contact with me since my parents monitored the one they bought me. My house wasn’t too far from the college, so one night, while my parents were at a prayer meeting, I had convinced them I had final exams to study for, and Jake came over. One thing led to another, and my parents caught us having sex. They went crazy. My father was screaming that I was going straight to hell, and my mother was crying in the other room. She wouldn’t even look at me. My dad threw my clothes in the front yard and told me that I was no longer his daughter. I belonged to the world now, and they could deal with me. My mother never even said a word, she just sat on the couch and watched it all happen. I was devastated. My father literally pushed me out the door and locked it behind me. I sat in my front yard and cried as Jake picked up my clothes and put them in his car. Before we left, my mom opened the front door and ran into the front yard. I was stunned, and hoping she would tell me they were sorry, and they still loved me. But she didn’t. She handed me my car keys, and told me to please go. I could see the pain in her eyes before she turned away from me. She would do whatever my father said; he was the head of the household, it was biblical, she always made me aware of that.

So I got in my car and followed Jake to his house. He said I could stay with him, saying that he wanted to take care of me. And I believed him. Two days later, I got a message from the school administrator to come to her office. She informed me that my tuition had been cut off, and unless I could provide them with a check immediately, I was unable to attend the fall semester,” I said, as I rubbed my temples, remembering how devastated that news made me.

“I can’t believe this, Mackenzie, I had no idea,” Lainey said, as she scooped Emma into her arms.

“So, of course I had to quit school, I was broke. All I had was Jake.”

“And so you felt stuck,” Sam said, as she shook her head.

“Yep, and it didn’t take long to realize that Jake’s protectiveness was really possessiveness. He’s always accusing me of doing something wrong.”

“Yeah, I kinda noticed that,” Lainey said.

“And this,” I said, as I pointed to my cheek “is because according to Jake, I must have been giving Dr. Weston a blowjob under his desk after work,” I said with a little laugh, because it really was just ridiculous.

“Are you shitting me?” Sam said.

“Nope,” I said with a sigh, and put my hands over my face, careful not to put too much pressure on the swollen side.

“This is fucked up, you know that right?” Sam said, the anger in her voice rising. All I could do was nod.

“He needs his ass beat,” Sam said, as Lainey sat quietly.

“Please, Sam, just let it be. I don’t want to make it worse. I just want to get away from him; I just don’t know what to do or where to go. I’m so lost,” I said, as I started to cry. I realized I must have a cut on my cheek also because the warm tears caused it to sting.

“You can stay at my house,” Sam said.

“What? No way, I’m not living with you and your husband. I mean, I appreciate it, but no, Sam,” I said with a little laugh.

“Not here,” she laughed. “My dad’s house. It’s empty most of the time. My dad refuses to sell it. He just lets it sit there. I mean, my cousin, Kash, stays there every once in a while, but he works on the rig, so he’s always gone.”

Just the sound of his name caused my breathing to hitch. Being under the same roof with Kash would literally be the death of me. Either from forcing myself to stay away from him, or Jake finding out and murdering me.

“Do you think that’s a good idea?” Lainey chimed in quietly, with a worried look on her face.

“I’ll take care of that part,” Sam said, and patted Lainey’s knee. My look of shock must have been confused with a look of worry.

“My cousin, Kash, is kind of a whore, well, not kind of, he’s a huge slut. But I’ll make sure he doesn’t try anything on you. Trust me, it will be fine. My dad won’t mind, and it will give you a chance to save up for your own place.”

“I don’t know,” I said quietly. My insides were doing somersaults, and my hands started to shake. No one had any idea about what happened with Kash. I wanted to keep it that way, because I could never let that happen again. But he had such an effect on me, one that I couldn’t pretend wasn’t there. But what other choice did I have? It was either be strong and avoid Kash, or be homeless. As hard as avoiding Kash would be, homelessness wasn’t exactly something I was ready for.