Redemption: Reckless Desires (Blue Moon Saloon Book 3) (19 page)

Soren had a hell of a lot of explaining to do, and he knew it. But Sarah begged him not to try that night, so all he did was hang on to her and nuzzle her and show her it would be all right.

And it was. Somehow, it all was. It had to be.

Eventually, he would have to explain all about bears and wolves — and rogues and the Blue Bloods and everything else. But before he could even get her out of the wreckage of the saloon and up to her room to talk, several pickup trucks screeched to a stop in front of the saloon and a dozen men, women, and wolves rushed out.

Soren threw himself in front of Sarah, then exhaled when he saw who it was.

Sarah whispered from over his shoulder. “More wolves?”

“Good wolves,” he nodded, keeping hold of her hand.

Ty Hawthorne came to a sudden stop in the doorway, taking in the shattered windows, upturned chairs, and lifeless rogues. “Whoa.”

His mate, Lana, peered over his shoulder. “Whoa is right. Is everyone okay?”

Soren nodded wearily. “Everyone’s okay.”

He left out the
thank goodness
part, but damn, had it been a close call.

Ty Hawthorne’s eyes burned into his after one more look around the saloon. A what-the-hell-happened-here stare that Soren returned cooly, squaring his shoulders at the same time. Ty might lead the most powerful wolf pack in the West, but this was Soren’s turf. His clan, his victory.

The alpha wolf’s eyes blazed, but gradually, the anger at being challenged ebbed away, and he nodded. A nod of respect, aimed Soren’s way. Then Ty waved a hand over the doorway in a way that asked,
Mind if I come in?

Soren savored the moment before responding. Ty’s small gesture was a huge landmark; the equivalent of the alpha coming down the stairs of his own council house to receive Soren as an equal. Alpha to alpha.

He stood perfectly still, breathing the moment in.

When Sarah ran her hand down his arm, the glow building inside him grew warmer. Brighter. Prouder. Had he really done it? Had he finally earned his peace?

Soren glanced at Victor Whyte’s lifeless body, then locked eyes with his brother.

Simon nodded with a weary grin.
Peace. Feels good, doesn’t it?

Soren held Sarah’s hand in both of his. God, did it feel good.

“We got here as fast as we could,” Lana said once Soren motioned the wolves of Twin Moon Ranch inside. So far, the fire around the block had kept outside attention away from the saloon, and he wanted to keep it that way. “A fire, broken windows, dead rogues? What happened?”

My amazing mate blew those assholes away,
he wanted to say. But Sarah’s hands were shaking. He needed to make this short and sweet and get her to a quieter, calmer place.

“The fire was a diversion.” A diversion he’d nearly fallen for. If it hadn’t been for Sarah’s scream ripping through his mind, he might not have doubled back in time to help her. But damn, had she looked dangerous with that rifle.

Like a momma bear, all riled up.
His bear nodded with pride.

“The tip-off we got about the Blue Bloods was a diversion, too.” Ty scowled. “We took out the band of rogues heading to Yuma, but not the leaders.”

If Soren had been closer to Victor Whyte’s lifeless body, he might just have given it a vengeful kick.

“We took out the leaders,” he said.
Sarah did,
he nearly added, remembering the bullet whistle past his ear to take out Whyte. But Sarah wasn’t one to crow over a man’s death, even if the man was a ruthless murderer. “We got Victor Whyte.”

“Victor Whyte…” Sarah whispered.

He nodded. “The man who ordered the attacks in Montana. The one who had our families wiped out. We did it, Sarah. We stopped the Blue Bloods.”

Ty Hawthorne’s eyes focused on the Winchester laid across the bar, then on Sarah, and Soren could see him figure it out. The mighty alpha tipped his head at Soren, then at Sarah.

It should have been a moment of triumph, though all Soren felt was the exhaustion he saw mirrored in Sarah’s eyes.

You got this?
he asked Simon, getting ready to head upstairs.

Simon looked around the saloon. There were rogue bodies to get rid of, a sea of broken glass to clean up, a wolf pack to talk details with – and that was just for starters.

I got this,
Simon nodded firmly. His eyes slid to Sarah, then back to Soren.
You got that?

That,
he knew, was the conversation he had to have with Sarah soon. Very soon.

He met her weary eyes, and she nodded at him.
Soon. But not tonight.

With one last nod to Ty, Simon, and the others, Soren slid a hand across Sarah’s shoulders and led her upstairs. To his bed, this time, where he’d barely gotten his arm around Sarah and the baby – His! Safe! Secure! – before falling into a fitful sleep.

* * *

“Show me,” Sarah demanded two days later. “Show me again.”

She’d moved quickly from hollow-eyed shell-shock to quizzing him all about shifters, though it wasn’t until the second night that she asked to see his bear.

“Show me,” she repeated. So determined. So fierce. So brave.

Mate!
his bear cheered.
My mate!

He held his breath, made the slowest, quietest shift of his life, and prayed.

It’s me, Sarah.
He sent the thought into her mind as he shifted.
I love you. It’ll be okay.

Her eyes went wide and her lips pursed as she studied him, and he’d never felt more self-conscious in his life. He kept his fangs carefully tucked behind his lips and his claws as deeply hidden as he could. Tried to make his bear body as small as possible, though that was a losing battle.

Sarah reached out one shaky hand, took a deep breath, and started petting his bear body. Tentatively at first then more boldly, until she ended with both hands around his muzzle and her eyes firmly locked on his.

I love you, Sarah. It’s me.

And just when he thought that she’d turn her back and shun him forever, she hugged him. An all-out, human-to-bear hug like he’d never tried before. And God, he’d never felt so good. Her warm breath ruffled his fur, her hands smoothed the coarse pelt of his back, and she murmured his name over and over.

“God, Soren. Soren…” She seemed to want to say more, but all she got out was his name, and that was enough.

His bear didn’t dare move. Barely dared to breathe, but inside, he was doing a happy dance.

She loves me! Me!

So his being a bear – thank every star in heaven – seemed to be okay with her.

Then there was the part about the baby, and that was harder. Sarah went awfully quiet when he shifted back to human form and explained that even half shifter blood was enough to make the baby a werebear, and that it would eventually be able to shift, too.

Sarah kept her eyes on the floor while he did his best to explain that a clan was a clan and all the advantages that brought. The best kind of tight-knit family in the world, forever. No matter how he tried to explain, though, Sarah rested her hands on her stomach, looking pensive and unsure.

But then Janna — who he could just about kiss sometimes — brought Sarah a little teddy bear and a ridiculously furry toy wolf. Janna and Jessica kicked him out of the room and talked to Sarah for hours. About girl stuff, he supposed, though he never figured there’d be so much to cover. The room was quiet for a while, then peals of laughter bounced through the walls, interspersed with naughty giggles.

Simon walked by with a faraway look that said his mind was communicating with his mate, and he moaned. “Jesus, I thought only guys talked about that stuff.” Simon rapped sharply on the door. “Jess! No need to share every detail, right?”

“Every detail of what?” Soren asked.

Simon rolled his eyes. “They’re telling Sarah about mating bites.” He thumped Soren on the chest. “I’m out of here.”

Cole followed him with an apologetic look, wincing at whatever thought Janna had shot into his mind. “Do you have to share everything, honey?”

Soren stared at the door for a while, caught somewhere between arousal and despair. Shifter pairs shared mating bites to seal their bond, and it was said to be an incredible high, especially when coupled with the peak of sex. He’d dreamed of biting Sarah in a thousand dusky fantasies. But shifters grew up with those stories and knew there was no danger, only a rush. How would Sarah feel about the idea?

He paced the hallway like a goddamn expectant father outside a delivery room while the women chatted for hours. When the door finally opened, he jumped away and stood in guilty silence.

“Well, well. What do we have here?” Janna scolded.

Jessica burst into giggles. “How long have you been waiting around here, bear?”

He craned his neck and saw Sarah behind them, hiding a smile as the other two cackled away. At him. Him, the alpha of this clan!

The crazy thing was, he laughed too. Out of sheer relief, because it didn’t look like Sarah was packing her bags or edging out the door.

Then he coughed and glared out of the principle of the thing to shoo the two she-wolves away. He stepped into the room, shut the door, and walked to Sarah, who was sitting on the bed with the stuffed animals. He sat down beside her, leaving her a little space.

“Um… You okay with all this bear stuff?” he tried after a pause.

She smiled and pulled him closer. “You know I have a thing for bears.”

And damned if her voice wasn’t husky, her eyes bright.

As much as he gulped, the lump sitting in his throat refused to go down.

“I wanted to tell you so many times,” he said. “I hated keeping it from you. But…but…” He shook his head at all those years full of
buts
, ashamed of each and every one.

Sarah pulled him closer, and they sat there, forehead to forehead, letting another minute tick quietly by.

“I’m good with bears.” Sarah nodded. “If you’re good with…” Her hand slipped to her stomach, and she drew away from him.

He pulled her right back. It was time he tore down the brick wall standing between them, once and for all.

“How could I not be good with something that’s part of you?”

She squeezed her lips together, and he could see the doubt in her mind, hear the unspoken words.
But this baby isn’t yours.

He took a deep breath and slowly, carefully, put his hand on her belly. “Todd would have taken care of my child like it was his own. I’ll take care of his the same way.”

When Sarah glanced up at him looking sadder than ever, he shook his head firmly and went on. “Not because I have to. Because I want to. Because it’s yours. Because this baby is clan.”

She looked so desperately hopeful, yet still so scared, so he plunged on.

“Because the baby is my…my…” He searched for the word.

Mine?
his bear suggested.

He pictured Sarah standing on the bar with the shotgun, surrounded by rogues, and had to fight away a flood of rage and fear that threatened to wash over him all over again. He’d fought for the baby as much as he fought for Sarah. He couldn’t bear the thought of losing either of them.

“Mine,” he said firmly. “The baby is mine.”

Sarah’s fingers tightened over his.

“I mean, I want the baby to be mine. It feels like mine.” God, was he even getting it all out right? “I’ll make it mine, if you’ll let me. I mean…”

And thank God Sarah put a finger over his lips then, because he was stuck, damn it. Again.

“Soren.”

He looked at her. Christ, now he was the desperately hopeful one.

She nodded. “I want the baby to be yours.”

“You do?” His heart thumped a little faster as his bear started bouncing inside.

Mine!

Another nod. “Just like I want to be yours. Like I want you to be mine.”

“I already am yours.” She was his one, his only. Always had been, always would be.

She drew a finger down his cheek and smiled. Almost a little sultry, that grin. And just like that, his inner thermometer flipped right over to hot.

“I mean, all the way yours, my love.”

He blinked at her. “All the way? As in…”

She rounded her hands over his shoulders and pulled him close.

“All the way,” she whispered in his ear.

The scent of her arousal filled his nose. Filled the whole room, and his swooped in right on its heels. He was hard already. Hungry. So, so ready to claim his mate.

“All the way, as in…” he murmured, pushing her back to the mattress. God, seeing her look up at him that way…

“As in, a mating bite,” she said at last, nibbling his ear. “Jess and Janna said it was pretty amazing.”

He snorted. “Only pretty amazing?”

She laughed, and the last bit of tension slipped off his shoulders.

“I’ll show you amazing,” he said, claiming her lips with his.

Then it was his turn to stay locked up in that room with Sarah for hours, and it wasn’t to talk, except maybe with actions and deeds. Like long, lingering kisses to her belly and her breasts. Like peeling off her clothes, one layer at a time, and nuzzling her all over, marking her as his.

“God, you’re beautiful,” he murmured in her ear. Her eyes were closed, her head tipped back, and when his lips closed over her nipple—

“Oh!” she cried, and her whole body rose.

Her hands flitted all over him, not quite focused on one thing. Which only wound him up tighter, those fleeting little touches to his shoulders, his rear, his chest. When she closed her fist around his hard, aching cock, he groaned.

Make her ours!
his bear roared inside.

God, he was so, so close to coming. So, so close to biting. To making her his forever. But he wasn’t going to rush this even if it killed him.

The hand that had been kneading her breast slid over her belly and past her mound. Familiar ground, but still, it felt like their first time.

My beautiful, beautiful mate,
his bear chanted as he ran a finger through her folds.

“Soren,” she moaned, writhing under him.

God, she was amazing. She’d faced down the Blue Bloods like a warrior, but now she was all woman again.