Redemption of a Fallen Woman (24 page)

‘That’s part of it.’

‘That’s all of it. You mustn’t let it blight your life for evermore.’

His hold slackened. ‘You speak as though I were somehow permitting it.’

It might have been wiser to let it pass, but she knew she wasn’t going to. This had to be addressed. Too much depended on it.

‘Aren’t you?’

‘Even you cannot understand...’

‘Who should understand better than I? Or do you think that somehow you have a monopoly on shame and grief?’

‘I have never claimed to do so.’

‘Then stop wallowing in it.’

His gaze grew steely. ‘Is that what you think?’

‘It’s exactly what I think,’ she retorted. Then, as he opened his mouth to reply, ‘How would I know? Because I did the same so I recognise all the symptoms. You bury the hurt and never talk about it with anyone, hoping it’ll go away. But it never does. Instead it embeds itself more firmly and then festers like an infected wound.’

‘It was my way of dealing with it.’

‘Yet guilt consumes you still, even though it has no basis in anything but distorted imagination.’

His jaw tightened. ‘Elena, leave this.’

‘Pretend it isn’t happening?’ She shook her head. ‘It’s too late for that.’

‘What do you want me to do?’

‘I want you to forgive yourself and move on. You’re throwing away the future because you won’t let go of the past.’

‘That isn’t so. I want us to have a future.’

Elena’s dark gaze burned into his. ‘No, Harry, the woman you want is dead. She’s the one you cling to, and she’s the one who has your heart.’

‘What?’

‘You have made your feelings abundantly clear. I suppose I should just be grateful that you care anything for me at all.’

She turned on her heel and left him staring in thunderstruck silence at the open doorway. For a moment or two his mind was completely blank. Then the details of a former conversation returned with appalling clarity.

‘Elena, wait!’

He strode after her and caught up as she reached their chamber. She tried to evade him but he bundled her unceremoniously inside and shut the door behind them. Elena glared at him.

‘Leave me alone, Harry.’

‘Not until we sort this out.’

‘Can you pretend you don’t love Belén?’

‘When I spoke of those events I was describing my emotions then, not now.’

‘Emotions you still felt a few days ago.’

‘Not so,’ he replied. ‘I told you what my feelings were.’

‘Ah, yes. You
care
for me. You
love
her.’

‘If I had thought that you would so misconstrue the matter I’d have set the record straight.’

‘You had the chance to set the record straight, but you didn’t take it.’

‘Because I’m a damned fool. You were right when you said that I hide my feelings. It has become a habit with me and perhaps a defence too.’

‘A defence against what?’

‘Against the knowledge of what you made me feel.’

Elena regarded him in surprise but checked the urge to interrupt.

‘I tried to deny it at first,’ he went on, ‘but your honesty and your courage made me examine my own behaviour. It didn’t make for comfortable viewing.’ He paused. ‘When you declared your feelings so openly...well, I wasn’t expecting it even if they were the words I’d most wanted you to say.’

She swallowed hard. ‘Do you mean that?’

‘Yes, I do mean that. I love you, Elena.’

It was so welcome and so unexpected that it was hard to take in at first. ‘Then you don’t still...you’re not...’

‘No, I’m not. That chapter of my life is over. I want to move on—with you. You are my love now.’

‘I want to be, Harry.’

His heart gave a painful lurch. ‘I don’t deserve that you should but I’m glad all the same.’

Elena regarded him in heart-thumping silence for some seconds, then returned a quizzical look. ‘How glad exactly?’

He took her in his arms and proceeded to show her with a lingering kiss that removed every last trace of doubt.

* * *

Later that morning Jamie arrived. They joined him in the private parlour. Elena thought his face had more colour now than it had erewhile, his eyes more sparkle. His whole manner seemed generally more animated. Perhaps the previous day’s meeting had been good for him too. She hoped so. Her own happiness was such that she wanted everyone else to be happy.

‘Would you like to talk alone?’ she asked.

‘No, please stay,’ replied Jamie. ‘Since what we must discuss now involves you as well.’

‘As you wish.’

When Elena had sat down they followed suit.

‘I’m glad you are come,’ said Harry. ‘Quite apart from the pleasure of seeing you, we need to discuss what happens next.’

Jamie smiled. ‘Yes, we do.’

‘Will you be returning to England with Elena and me?’

‘I regret not, although I hope I shall not be far behind you.’

‘The loose ends you mentioned yesterday?’

‘Just so.’

‘Very well.’ Harry paused. ‘I trust this won’t involve you in further danger.’

‘You need have no fears on that score.’

‘That’s a relief.’

‘I plan to keep a whole skin, I promise you.’ Jamie held his brother’s gaze. ‘The important thing now is to let the family know I’m alive and to expose the fraudulent claim to the title.’

‘Trust me for that. We should be back within a month at the outside.’

‘You should have no difficulty in getting a passage. Ships regularly ply their trade between here and England.’

‘So I believe.’

‘The sooner this scheming upstart is confronted the better. We need to know who masterminded the plan. He’s the real villain of the piece.’

‘We’ll find out all right.’

‘What will happen to the culprits?’ asked Elena.

‘They’ll hang,’ said Jamie.

She shivered inwardly. ‘I wonder if this woman was aware of that when she agreed to the plan.’

‘If not she’s about to be made aware of it.’ He eyed Harry. ‘That may just be the leverage required to get the whole story.’

Harry nodded. ‘Exactly what I was thinking.’

‘I’ll leave the matter in your capable hands for the time being.’

‘Don’t be too long.’

‘I won’t. In the meantime, we need to organise your passage home.’

Chapter Twenty-Three

A
week later they left Cádiz on a merchantman bound for England. As the ship slid out of harbour Elena stood at the rail watching the coast recede. Now that they were under way she experienced a strange sensation in which anticipation was mingled with sadness. There was no way of knowing if she would ever see her homeland again. It seemed unlikely in the scheme of things.

‘Are you all right, darling?’

Harry’s voice broke the train of thought. She turned and smiled.

‘Quite all right, I thank you.’

‘Not too cold?’

She shook her head. ‘To be on board a ship is a new experience.’

‘I hope the experience will be a positive one.’

‘Do you fear we shall be wrecked?’

‘No, but we do have to negotiate the Bay of Biscay. It can be rough.’

‘We have weathered worse, you and I,’ she replied.

Harry eyed her keenly. ‘With you beside me I believe I could weather anything that fate might throw.’

‘So we’ll take Biscay in our stride, then.’

He grinned. ‘We may not even notice it.’

‘It’s exciting. Do sailors feel the same, I wonder, when they set forth on a new voyage?’

‘I suppose they may. All the same, it’s a hard life with lengthy periods away from home.’

‘That must be the worst part of it.’

‘Speaking of home,’ he said, ‘where do you wish ours to be?’

‘Somewhere in the countryside. A farm, perhaps?’

‘I think we can do better than that. I’m a reasonably wealthy man, after all.’

Elena threw him a mischievous look. ‘Really? You didn’t tell me this before.’

‘I wanted to be married for myself, not for my money—hence our lengthy courtship.’

‘I’m glad you took time to think carefully.’

‘It was an important decision,’ he replied. ‘Besides, I hate to be rushed.’

‘It may take a while to choose the house, now that we no longer have my uncle’s guiding hand.’

Harry grinned. ‘We’ll just have to cope, won’t we?’

‘I’m confident that we shall.’

‘So am I.’

She met his gaze and they both laughed. Then, out of the corner of her eye, she caught movement and glanced round. Then her smile widened further.

‘Harry, look!’

He followed the line of her gaze. ‘Dolphins! Well, I’m blessed!’

The graceful creatures were no more than twenty yards off, keeping pace with the ship, cleaving the water with effortless ease. Elena was enchanted.

‘They’re beautiful! I hoped we might see some but I wasn’t sure we really would.’

He grinned. ‘They must have come especially to greet us.’

‘I think they have.’

‘Sailors believe they bring good fortune.’

‘Well, they should know.’ She glanced up at him. ‘We should take this as a good omen.’

Harry put his arm around her waist, drawing her closer. ‘I do, my love. Very much so.’

As he watched the leaping dolphins Harry felt his heart lighten, as though the last remnants of a great shadow had dissolved. While he would never forget the events of the past he had come to terms with them at last, as he had come to terms with self-knowledge. All he had to do now was move on and embrace his future. Good omens told him so.

* * * * *

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Turn the page to find out more about Joanna Fulford and the Castonbury Park series…

Joanna Fulford
is a compulsive
scribbler, with a passion for literature and history, both of which she has
studied to postgraduate level. Other countries and cultures have always exerted
a fascination, and she has travelled widely, living and working abroad for many
years. However, her roots are in England, and are now firmly established in the
Peak District, where she lives with her husband Brian. When not pressing a hot
keyboard she likes to be out on the hills, either walking or on horseback.
However, these days equestrian activity is confined to sedate hacking rather
than riding at high speed towards solid obstacles. Visit Joanna’s website at
www.joannafulford.co.uk

Previous novels by the same author:

THE VIKING’S DEFIANT BRIDE

THE VIKING’S TOUCH

THE WAYWARD GOVERNESS

Did you know that some of these novels are also
available
as eBooks?

Visit
www.Harlequin.com

Author Q&A

What are you researching for your forthcoming novel?

My next project sees a return to the early medieval period—a sequel to THE LAIRD’S CAPTIVE WIFE. This is an era I have become increasingly interested in and, along with the Regency, enjoy writing about. When I was writing the original book it occurred to me that Ashlynn’s brother, Ban, might one day have a story of his own. Readers agreed, and several people asked about a sequel. I’m pleased to tell them that this is now underway.

What is your hero’s favourite childhood memory of Castonbury Park?

Harry has fond memories of the horse races he had with his brothers when they thought no one was watching. The pace was keen—a neck-or-nothing style that he and they found exhilarating. He enjoyed the competitive edge in those games and always hoped to beat Jamie, though he never did.

What would you most like to have been doing in Regency times?

I’d have liked to have been taught to drive a high-perch phaeton—preferably by one of the notable whips of the time. Those people made it look easy, though it was anything but. It would be wonderful to be able to ‘drive to an inch’, as they did, though I suspect I’d be lucky if I managed to drive to an ell.

Which stately home inspired Castonbury Park, and why?

Castonbury Park was inspired by Kedleston Hall. The latter is a magnificent property and is situated in Derbyshire—the setting for our series. The surrounding scenery is lovely too. This place ticked all the boxes with regard to the grandeur and the status required for the Montague family, and it was easy to imagine our fictional family living there. Since the information and images are available online it was easy for all the authors to have a virtual tour of the place, even though they couldn’t get there in person.

Where did you get the inspiration for Harry and Elena?

Harry came to mind first—a vivid and dramatic figure who wasn’t anything like the man I’d originally envisaged as my hero, but who refused to go away. Moreover, he did not want to be at Castonbury—which could have been a problem given that the series is set there. However, I have learned to listen to my characters, and eventually Harry came clean about his reasons for avoiding the place and for not wanting to go back to Spain. This was the basis for his emotional conflict. Elena arrived juxtaposed with the image of a convent. At first this seemed like a most unpromising scenario for the heroine of my story, but slowly the reasons began to emerge. As the layers began to peel away I became more intrigued about what she was telling me about herself. It became clear that she was the ideal woman for my hero. All this then had to be interwoven into the over-arching plot for the whole series. Amazingly, it was—and with fewer problems than anticipated.