Redemption: Alchemy Series Book #4 (2 page)

"How long will he be gone?"

I swallowed past the lump in my throat and tried to find my voice. This one was a whopper. "I'm sure it won't be long, but I don't have an exact time frame." Tired of waiting for water to boil, I walked across the room and fiddled with some of the papers Cormac had left on the table. I flipped through with mock deep concern and furrowed my brow in an effort to mimic how Cormac would've acted if he were here. I needed to seem confident and in charge, not scared shitless like I really was.

I looked back up at Dark. "Go on the scouting mission without him. Take Sharon instead. She's extremely capable and always willing to fill in. Tell the new guy I want to see him up here in ten minutes."

A day ago, I would've heard about this problem but it wouldn't have been a concern. Cormac would've handled it. He would have talked with the new guy and that would have been that. He would've fallen in line, the way they always did.

Dark was scowling
more deeply, as if trying to find his mental footing with the new chain of command. It took him a second of adjusting before he said, "Okay. I'll send him up." His forehead smoothed over and he started to make small talk that I barely comprehended but nodded and made enough of the right responses to pull off. A few minutes later, I watched him walk out of the apartment, completely comfortable with the bullshit I'd just fed him. 

I, in comparison, was shaking as I sank into the chair closest to me and dropped my head onto the table. The absence of noise in the penthouse was deafening. I felt my eyes burning with tears I wouldn't shed. He didn't deserve them. Today, Cormac had crushed me
; I wouldn't let his abandonment destroy anyone else.

Three Months Later

I felt a quick tremor shoot through the castle as I walked down the stone hallway, a small echo of the ones that had contributed to the destruction of our world. They had been much stronger again, right after the portal had opened last time. The earthquakes hadn't simply stopped after that night, but lingered on. Every so often, when you least expected it, the earth shook and reminded everyone of our feeble position on this planet. For me, it was also a constant reminder of my mistakes.

In addition, the last opening flooded The Lacard with nearly
three thousand Fae and wolf refugees; men, women and children. When the new arrivals spilled in, in desperate need and deserving of compassion, all I could think of was that they were more mouths to feed.

I'd written anyone left on Vitor's planet off as dead, or as good as
, since I'd never thought to see them again. It was amazing they'd even managed to get a portal open. I still didn't know how they'd pulled it off. After questioning them, it seemed they weren't quite sure either.

The responsibility for allowing them to stay here weighed heavily upon my shoulders, but I hadn't been able to push them out into the world as it was now. It didn't matter. We'd survive. If I've learned anything lately, it's that desire
can and will sometimes defeat even the worst odds. “Can't” was no longer a word in my vocabulary, though the words “Can” and “Yes” weren't exactly up there in use, either. “Have”
to
seemed to be the hot word of the moment.

But the hardest thing about remembering that day was the reminder of Cormac's a
bandonment, less than seventy-two hours later. Months had now passed without a word. He could be dead. It might have been easier if he were. That thought used to bring me to my knees, but not anymore. He'd left and I wouldn't shed another tear for him. I wouldn't romanticize what could've been. In the end, he'd shown his true colors. I refused to rationalize those actions into something forgivable.

I took a right turn down another hallway. I'd crammed our new refugees into every last available space. This part of the casino had gone full on castle, one completely devoid of electricity.

On the surface, The Lacard and its inhabitants had been left seemingly unmarred, but the damage was there; you just couldn't see this kind of destruction on the surface. Now, as things calmed down and one by one people succumbed to sleep, the effect of this horrible reminder showed its true form.

At this time of night, the only thing I should have heard was the burning of the torches, the sounds of my solitary footsteps and the soft breaths of slumber. Instead, the near silence was disturbed with the sound of people rousing in the grip of night terrors. The screams of people waking in fear would be this generation's version of bad elevator music.

I should be asleep as well, but when I stayed still my doubts surfaced and memories I wished I could abolish ran through my brain, taunting me, slamming into me with regrets. I paced the halls until I could barely stand and I didn't have another ounce of strength. Until I knew for sure it was safe. When I was positive with absolute surety that the moment I lay upon the bed I had so briefly shared with Cormac, exhaustion would immediately claim me. Then, I too would rise sometime in the night, a cold sweat on my skin and screams torn from me against my will.

So, I walked the halls night after night, among friends and others who I knew were my enemies. They were here, the ones that had killed my mother. I didn't have a shred of proof. Only a small percentage of wolves had survived
; just as our world had been ravaged, so had theirs. It appeared our worlds had been more connected than we'd ever realized. The storms that hurt our world had wiped out their entire planet. There was nothing left for them. They'd come through the portal, starving and bedraggled, with nothing but the few possessions they carried.

But I knew in their midst, the murderers had survived. Just as I knew someone was watching me right now, even though I couldn't see them. It wasn't logical but neither was anything else
, anymore. Mortals were morphing into mystical creatures from fairy tales almost daily. Thinking logically about what might come was a waste of time.

When I heard footsteps rushing toward me, I swung around quickly, prepared to fight
, but stopped short at the familiar face.

"How long have you been following me?" I asked Dodd.

"I've been looking for you for an hour."

Dodd hadn't been my secret stalker. I trusted him almost as much as I had once trusted Cormac. There might be a warning in there somewhere
, but I refused to consider it. Other than being a reformed rake, he fell solidly into the good guy list. Hell, even the women he'd dated, and I use the word
dated
loosely, still liked him.

I looked over his shoulder, trying to catch sight of what had sent a tingle down my spine earlier. There was no one to be found and the feeling was gone. Whoever had been watching me was gone.

"Here," Dodd said as he handed me a sheet of paper with the torn edges.

Send Jo out. Or else!

It was written in red crayon, complete with horrible penmanship.

"Pretty funny," I said, handing the sheet back to him.

"Yeah, but I don't think it's a joke. There are lightning bugs flying back and forth in front of the door."

I'd figured as much. I wondered how many bugs it had taken to hold the crayon. They were resourceful little
creatures. After The Shattering, lots of things I'd never thought possible had happened. One of the byproducts was a small group of lightning bugs that could speak. But even though they could, they seemed to be quite selective in who they chose to communicate with.

"Did you talk to them?" I didn't know why I bothered asking the question. He wasn't even
changed
. That was another thing I'd confirmed in the last few months. Birds of a feather
do
tend to flock together.
Changed
were drawn to others like them and to me. I wasn't
changed,
but I was linked just as deeply to the same magic they were and I guess that sufficed.

"I tried," he said, confirming that the rumor mill, even in the worst of times, still cranked full speed ahead. I'd never discussed the bugs with him directly.

He tucked his hands into the pockets of his sweat suit. "They fly away every time someone gets close." He shook his head, perhaps a touch disappointed. I didn't blame him. Talking to bugs wouldn't ever be a super power claim to fame but it did have a novelty appeal.

"I'm going to go see what they need," I said as we headed toward the staircase together. "How's Sabrina?" I hadn't seen her since we'd returned. I thought to the night we'd gotten back from the senator's territory
, when it seemed that things were turning the corner. She had sat next to Dodd on the couch, leaning into him for support, looking like a broken doll. But even as battered as she'd been, I thought she was going to be okay. I wasn't anywhere near as certain anymore.

"She's...I don't know. But
she’ll be fine." His voice was firm on the last sentence, as if he could will her mind to heal by his sheer determination.

"She will be. She's strong." I let it drop, hoping I was right.

"Should I come with you?" Dodd asked.

I knew he would, even though he was vulnerable to the rippers, the man-eating monsters and the stuff of nightmares, who lingered close by at night. I shook my head. "Thanks, but they'll just freeze up if I have company."

I waved him off and I was relieved to part. I didn't have enough lies left to keep talking and I knew the Cormac questions would be coming soon.
Where is he? Is he coming back soon? Did he say he'd send word?
They always did.

I entered the stone lobby that looked so much different
to when I'd first come here. It was all massive stone. Large wooden doors replaced the glass modern ones and I could feel the draft coming from them before I got within ten feet.

I waved off the two Keepers standing guard. No one questioned my right to do anything anymore, one of the few perks to being in charge. Too bad it wasn't enough to offset the mind numbing stress of responsibility. I didn't see faces anymore; I saw mouths to feed and bodies to clothe.

As soon as I stepped outside, the frigid air blasted my skin, my breath visible in the night. I wrapped my arms around myself, rubbing the skin left exposed by a t-shirt that would have been perfectly adequate six months ago. I should've stopped for a jacket but I hadn't wanted to leave the lightning bugs waiting any longer.

The same evening the wormhole had opened, an even colder arctic chill fell onto the city. I was never one for conspiracy theories
, but sometimes you've got to embrace a coincidence for what it is. I just hoped it didn't last too long or spread too far. If this was the weather pattern in California, all the farms' produce we hadn't tapped into yet would be spoiled before we got there. Silly things we'd taken for granted before were life and death now. Who'd have thought, a year ago, that starvation might be what wiped out mankind?

It didn't take more than a few minutes for the lightning bugs to swarm over. I knew they were my bugs when one showed off her blinking pink tail instead of the standard yellow.

"Hi, Jo," a little chorus of voices sang out.

"Look, Jo." Pinky, as I now thought of her, was flashing her tail purple.

"You're such a show off," Charlie said. He was the one whose tail was a hair dimmer than the rest.

"You're just mad because you're dull," Pinky shot back. "You can't even do yellow well."

She did have a valid point. She flew around him, flashing an alternating pink and purple light. If I could make out her features, I was sure I'd see a smug face that matched the tone.

"You take that back!"

"What did I tell you guys about fighting?" I used to try to stay out of their bickering. Then, one night, things went bad. Fred was still flying crooked due to his bent wing. I wanted to ask how he was doing, but he was very bitter and the reminder alone could make things go south quickly.

"Sorry, Jo." Pinky stopped swirling.

I'd discovered on past visits that there were only a small percentage of lightning bugs that could speak. They called the other bugs dumb. I'd tried to determine if it was the same percentage of bugs as the changed to human ratio, but the bugs couldn't count that high.

"Would you like to come in? It's pretty cold out here." Their flying seemed to be a bit more sluggish than normal. I knew they were bugs. They had probably outlived a normal lightning bug
’s lifespan already and I couldn't lose another body, not even a little one.

"Oh no! We don't go to the light," Todd explained. I recognized him by the slightly deeper voice. He was the James Earl Jones of the bug world.

"Are you sure? It's safe in there and it's so cold out here." Not to mention the penthouse was awfully lonely at night. Even bickering bugs would be an improvement.

"No, we've lost too many to the light. First rule of
Light Club is you don't go into the light," Pinky said.

"I bet I know the second rule."

"No, Light Club is a secret. You couldn't possibly know."

"Let me give it a try. Second rule of
Light Club is don't go into the light?"