Redemption (A NOVEL OF THE SEVEN SIGNS) (34 page)

Fever stifled her breath.
Don’t want to die. Don’t want to go to hell. Please. Just let me breathe
…

Her guts convulsed in a fit. Her body quaked. She gasped, warm and blessedly fresh air, and her eyes snapped open.

Darkness, still and quiet, the sultry heat of Babylon.

She blinked, her head aching. Dappled foliage loomed, rustling in hot breeze. Warm arms cradled her, protective. And the pain…the pain was fading. Those horrid fingers receding, crawling away at last.

Japheth’s eyes glowed dark, strange, almost purple. “How do you feel?”

He was still smeared in blood. Some had burned away, but it still stained his hair, clotted in his feathers. Her face felt sticky against his breastplate.

But he was so warm. Not the ugly heat of heaven’s wrath. A clean, good warmth that sank deep into her body to soothe her. To
pleasure
her.

God, she wanted to sleep forever in his embrace. Squirm closer, nestle her head under his chin, inhale his precious scent…

But memory faded in, clearing like a fogged mirror. Zuul had knifed her. Demon poison. Which meant…

Frantic, she rubbed her belly. It barely ached. The wound was tender, soft, bruised. But it no longer gaped open. And her breath no longer stung her sinuses. Her broken face was healed, too.

Her heart crushed tight.
No. No, no, no
…

“What did you do?” she whispered.

“Doesn’t matter. You’re safe.” His murmur vibrated through her body, warm and wonderful. Something gentle brushed her hair, spreading shivers all over her body.
A kiss. He just kissed me
…

She squirmed from his arms, and scrabbled up. “A moment ago I was dying. What did you do, Japheth? Tell me!”

“It’s nothing.” His hot ultraviolet gaze pierced straight to her heart. Her heart pounded. God, he was beautiful. Like a wild animal, hard-packed muscle and glossy skin. The mess crusted in his hair only made him more desirable. And then he had to go and…and…

“It damn well isn’t nothing!” She was shaking. He’d lied for her. Killed for her. Poured out his secret heart, let her see inside. And now he’d committed a heinous sin, just to save her pitiful life.

She was ugly. He was beautiful. And he’d broken every rule in his stupid book for her.

“You’re alive,” he said harshly. “I couldn’t let you die. There, I’ve said it. What else do you want from me?”

Her chest swelled tight. Fuck, she wanted to cry, scream, yell her rage to heaven or hell or anyone who’d listen. But no one would. God didn’t care. Unless…

Unless he’s right, and redemption is real. It’s real, and I’ve already blown my chance
…

She clenched her fists, furious. “How dare you make that choice for me? I don’t want this. Take it back.”

“Say again?” He glided to his feet. So effortlessly graceful, her angel. So maddeningly perfect.

“Take it back.” She was trembling inside. She needed to pee. “You healed me. So unheal me. Undo what you’ve done!” Her voice cracked, and she squeezed her eyes shut for a moment. She couldn’t cry. This wasn’t about her tears…

But he already stroked her hair, tilted her chin up. “Don’t. Please. What’s done is done. And you’re here. With me.”

Oh, Jesus.
She blinked, fierce, but she couldn’t stop the burning liquid flowing. Shame pierced her, keener than Zuul’s demonsteel. “It’s not done! You can go back. You believe in forgiveness. You have to!”
You’re the only one who believes there’s any hope for me
…

He laughed. Bitter, delighted, utterly confused. “I don’t know what I believe anymore. I only know what I feel.”

Rose’s spine tingled, warm and frightening. “Don’t even go there—”

“I feel for you, Rose Harley.” He didn’t look away. Didn’t let her escape. “I’m angry for you. I’m afraid for you. I’m…hell, I don’t even know what this is, okay? If that makes me evil, then…” He shook his head, wordless. Like he didn’t know how to go on.

“Angel, you don’t know what evil is. You’re not even close! It’s what we do that counts. Actions trump words, isn’t that what you said?” The injustice of it all melted her will. She’d raged against her own damnation, cursed God for a liar. But this angel…

He hadn’t seduced a demon or killed a child or drunk the
blood of innocents to stay alive. He’d only wanted to help her. And now…

“I was wrong!” His eyes flared darker, a strange passionate fire that shivered deep inside her. “Don’t you see? For fourteen hundred years, I’ve tried to stop feeling. I can’t do it. They were right to cast me out.”

“Don’t be ridiculous.” Rose dragged him back when he tried to turn away. “Look at me!” she demanded. “You’re smart. You’re kind. You’re braver than anyone I know. You care, angel! That’s more than anyone can say for me. And now you’ve broken all your stupid, fucked-up rules, because of me!”

“I did it
for
you, Rose. That’s not the same. You’re not to blame.”

“Is that a fact?” The stubborn set of his jaw maddened her. “Take responsibility, you said. Well, watch me, because here I go. Yes, I hell-spelled you. Yes, I tempted you. You’re a man, it’s not difficult. And you fell for it. It wasn’t your fault!”

“Yes, it is.” Flat. Harsh. No denial. “It was a test, and I failed it. Life is temptation, Rose Harley. Not everyone falls.”

God, she wanted to shake some sense into him. Punch him in the face. Kiss him until he melted in her arms, until he forgot about temptation and heaven and hell, and just… “Bullshit,” she said desperately. “You can’t absolve me just because you feel like beating yourself up. God, you really hate yourself, don’t you?”

He lifted his arms, mocking himself. “What’s there to like? I’m here, aren’t I? On earth? They cast me down, Rose. I’m not worthy of heaven. And now I’ve proved it.”

She closed the gap between them. He wasn’t getting away, not this time. “And why did they cast you down, Japheth? You never told me. What did you do that was so terrible?”

“It doesn’t matter.” Harsh, unforgiving. But his gaze slipped. He wouldn’t look at her.

“Oh, no you don’t.” Furious, she grabbed his chin, forced him to look. His eyes were shadowed, bleeding with emotion he had no way to control, and it broke her heart. “You’ve seen my shame, angel,” she said steadily. “You didn’t run from me. Let me do the same for you.”

His face paled like moonshadow. His eyes glittered wet. He swallowed, and tried to speak. But nothing came out.

Rose’s wits shorted out, burned like electric shock. And everything she thought she knew about him disintegrated into mocking hellsmoke.

“Oh my god,” she whispered, the shadows of the Park closing in. “You sorry son of a bitch. You don’t have the first clue.”

*   *   *

Japheth wanted to scream, but his throat swelled shut. He wanted to flash out, but his wits dissolved in a confused mess, and he couldn’t move. He just stood, petrified to the spot. Unable to escape her piercing dark gaze.

The taste of his own blood filled his mouth, bitter and disgusting, like the evil elixir it was. Somehow, he must have sucked in air, though his teeth clenched so hard he felt one crack. “I did everything they asked of me. I was a soldier. I followed my orders. That’s all I did! And one day it just wasn’t enough.”

Rose stared, her dark eyes bottomless. Her face trembled, white. And then she lifted a shaking hand, and scraped a crusted lock of hair from his cheek with one fingertip. “You are more than enough, believe me.”

He jerked away, sweating. He didn’t deserve her touch. Didn’t deserve the way it felt. “It wasn’t enough to make up for what’s in here.” He slammed a fist over his heart. The silver crunched. It didn’t hurt enough.
Never, ever enough
…

Rose’s face shone in the half light. Her dark eyes, her luxuriant hair, the tempting curve of her lips. His heartbeat quickened. Lord, she was infernally beautiful. The longing she aroused in him was excruciating. Just looking at her blackened his wicked heart. But he couldn’t tear his gaze away.

Slowly, she let her forearm rest on his shoulder. Tangled her fingers into his hair. He stiffened. He shouldn’t let her touch him. Shouldn’t
long
for her to touch him…

But she was so close. He wanted her closer. Wanted to drag her against him, feel her body tremble under his hands. Inhale her wine-dark scent, taste her rich soft skin, forget sin and hell
and heaven and lay her down beneath him, succumb to this sweet velvet darkness…

Her gaze smoldered, knowing.

He flushed. She knew how he craved her, the dark and evil things he wanted to do. Surely, she’d run from him…

But she didn’t move. “I see into your heart, angel,” she said steadily. “Let me tell you what’s in there. Compassion. Courage. Honesty. Dedication to duty. That’s not evil.” A sweet chuckle. “Trust me, you are way out of evil’s league.”

He choked on sick laughter. “How about jealousy? Lust? Selfishness? I seem to remember those on a list somewhere—”

“Screw your lists, okay?” Rose clenched both fists in his hair, and shook him, frustrated. “Are you blind, or stupid, or just one stubborn fucking angel?”

“I don’t—”

“You want me to spell this out for you?” She dragged herself closer, so her body collided with his, her face just a breath away. “Shut up and kiss me, Japheth, before I strangle you,” she whispered, and pressed her lips on his.

Sweet poisoned flame consumed him.

Oh, hell.
He crushed her in his arms, like he’d wanted to from the moment he laid eyes on her. She yielded to him, eager, and when her lips opened under his he couldn’t help but kiss her deeper. She tasted of salt and tears, bitter yet sweet and alive. He folded his wings around her, showering them both in hot dark glitter that kindled flames deep inside him.

Forbidden fire.

He didn’t care.

He groaned, helpless, drowning in her sultry female flavor, the delicious sting as she yanked his hair tighter. His feathers bristled, a hot frisson that speared desire straight to his balls. His vision blurred. Already he was hard, hot, ready. Shit, that happened fast. She was so small in his hands, strong yet delicate, her muscles playing sweetly against his palms. Her slim body trembled under his touch. She felt so fine against him. So good. So…right.

Dimly, far distant, some frigid, forgotten part of his heart protested.
Heaven’s grace, am I so lost?

But he already knew the answer.

*   *   *

Rose gasped, and gave herself up to his fire.

His heartbeat thudded against her chest, a sweet caress. He tasted so good, of flame and blood and dark passion. Everything she felt. Everything she was. His feathers sparkled, and the static crackled over her skin, heightening her senses. He kissed her boldly, asking no permission, just taking her as she loved to be taken, deep and demanding and so hot she melted inside, hurting for him. God, he was so raw. So fierce. All his unshackled emotion pouring out into this one kiss.

It frightened her.

It made her greedy for more.

His wings enfolded her, a hot velvety embrace. She wrapped one thigh around him, and when he pulled her in tighter she hopped, folding her legs around his hips. Damn, he felt good there. So hard and ready. He cupped her ass in one hand, supporting her with strong wings, and kissed a trail of hot tingles down to her collarbone.
Oh, God.
She’d forgotten what it was like, this honest, innocent need…

“Rose. You’re so beautiful.” His whisper sparkled warmth into her blood. Not very original. She didn’t care. He meant it. That was all that counted.

His thumb brushed her bare ribs, under her ripped t-shirt. She arched, inviting, and he didn’t need to be asked twice. He kissed her belly, up to the hollow between her breasts, and when he pushed the stained fabric aside…
oh, fuck.
Her nipple swelled hard in his mouth. So hot. So good and strong. He suckled her, deep pulls that coiled exquisite tension deep in her belly. Her fingertips tingled. His body between her legs, his mouth on her breasts, his hands gripping her ass… Jesus, she was going to…

Urgent, she thrust her hands between them, searching for him, trying to get him inside her before she…

He laughed, almost a growl, and lifted her away. “Nuh-uh. I know my limits, my lady. You won’t get out of this that easy.” And he swept her off her feet, wrapped in fragrant golden feathers.

In a hot violet flash, she lay beneath him, hot starlight dazzling
her eyes. Crisp grass tickled her back. In the half light, his strange eyes glowed, violet tinged with green. Her body thrummed, breeze playing delicious games over her skin. He was so light, for such a big guy. His weight barely pressed down on her, his delicate angelic bones built for flight. Yet all that hard muscle, his brutal strength, the burning pressure of his pulse…

Exquisite fear sharpened her desire. Boldly, she arched against him. She loved his hard male shapes, his rough-silk texture. “Won’t I, just?”

“You want to fight me?” He inhaled her scent, lips brushing her throat, and swear to God, he
purred
. “Try it.”

She shoved his silver-clad chest. He caught her wrists, pinned them down, one each side of her head, and arched his golden eyebrows, a hot challenge.

Just what she liked. She kicked, lashing, her excitement building. Easily, he pinned her thighs with his, absorbing her struggles with powerful muscles that flexed to take the impact but never gave. He forced her legs apart, eased his body between them, promise and threat. She could feel how hard he was for her, and her flesh ached.
Sweet Jesus. Take me now.

He grinned, fiery. “Surrender? Or must I torment myself all night?”

God, she wanted him so hard, her eyeballs hurt. But her heart hammered, shaky. He’d trapped her easily. His strength far outstripped hers. She’d been fooling herself that she could overpower him.

He could have killed her anytime. Fucked her. Hurt her however he liked.

But the old fear didn’t paralyze her. His victory only fanned her desire. He wasn’t Fluvium. He’d never do anything she didn’t want.