Redemption (18 page)

Her hand snapped back to hit me, but I caught it. “I wouldn’t do that. I’d beat your ass.”

“My brother isn’t everything he said he is,” she spit. “Did he tell you why he had to raise me?”

My mouth felt like sandpaper. The hate in her eyes hit bone. “Because your parents died.”

“Yes, because he left the stove on in the house. He’d taken the batteries out of the smoke detector to use in the game controller. He killed them. He’s the reason they died.”

Oh God
. Everything made sense. The dream, the torment in his face. All the guilt inside of him must be eating him alive. “It was an accident,” I whispered. “He’d never do that on purpose. Not like Denver.”

“I love him, and I’m not leaving him. I don’t want to leave. I like my life with him. We go places and do things.”

“Is that it?” I said, my voice trembling from wanting to scream at her. “Is that the reason why you’d turn your back on your brother?”

“I love my brother!”

“Well then listen to him. He’s trying to save your stupid ass! And all you care about is a fucking dollar!”

Her cheeks turned bright red. “Leave. Get out before I call the sales lady. I don’t want to see you again.”

Bam. Bam. Bam
. “Hannah, are you okay in there? Let me see?” Denver’s voice was calm, but I could hear the threat in it.

“Think about it,” I whispered. “Your brother loves you and it would kill him to lose you too.”

I crawled back over the top and slid down into my fitting room. My rubbery legs gave out, and I fell to the ground, cradling my knees to my chest like a child.

“You okay in there?” the lady asked.

“I’m fine,” I lied. “I’ll be right out.”

Tears streamed down my face. That hadn’t gone like I’d hoped. The defiance on that girl’s face hurt my chest. She blamed Rage for their parents’ death. Hell, Rage blamed Rage for their parents’ death.

“It’s not your fault,” I whispered. “It’s not your fault.”

Chapter Twenty-Two

Rage

Neveah hadn’t looked at me but once during dinner. Once her eyes fell to her plate, she hadn’t looked back up. I wanted to get up, pull her into my arms and demand to know what made her so sad.

“Did you have fun with Shelly?” I asked over the table, desperate for her to speak to me.

Wes nodded and sipped his tea. “Yeah, what did y’all do? Buy anything? Do I need to hide when my credit card bill comes in?”

Neveah gave a half-hearted smile. “Just some underwear. We went to Dallas to the mall and ice-skated.” Her eyes jerked from mine when she mentioned Dallas, and my blood went cold.

“Sounds like fun,” I whispered.

She nodded but avoided eye contact. “Yeah, a lot of fun.”

Wes patted his stomach and stretched his arms behind his head. “I’m heading to the gym to do a little paperwork. You two okay to clean the kitchen?”

I nodded. “Yes sir.”

He nodded. “I’ll see you kids tomorrow morning. Rage, we need to patch a hole in the roof tomorrow before practice. So if you can be at the gym by seven, it’d be great.”

I bit my tongue.
Just leave!
“Seven is great. Have a good night.”

Wes smiled and disappeared out of the front door. Neveah’s shoulders tightened when the lock clicked. Slowly, she rose from the table and began grabbing dishes.

I didn’t want to pressure her into telling me—well, not yet at least—so I helped her clean off the table and started drying dishes as she handed them to me. After ten minutes of silence, I had to talk or go insane. “Are we gonna talk about what happened today?”

Neveah bit the corner of her lip. Sighing, I slung the towel down and grabbed her shoulders. “Look at me, Angel.”

When she meet my gaze those moss green eyes were coated with tears. “Tell me. You can tell me.”

She took a shaky breath. “I saw your sister with Denver today at the mall.”

What the fuck.
“Neveah,” I whispered. “Please tell me you didn’t talk to them?”

She tugged on her bottom lip. “No, not them,
her
.”

I tightened my hands on her shoulders. “What did you say? How did you get her alone?”

“We were in Victoria’s Secret—she was trying on lingerie, and I crawled over the fitting room to hers. She said …,” she broke eye contact, her eyes finding her feet.

She climbed over the fitting room? Oh my God.
I gritted my teeth to keep from screaming at her. “Angel,” I whispered, lifting her chin. “What happened after that? What did she say?”

Something about the look on her face told me Hannah told everything. Everything that I’d kept from her. How my parents died. “She’s engaged to him, Rage. She’s going to marry him.”

Bile rose in my throat. My heartbeat doubled in my neck, pulsing lava unleashed in my veins. There was no stopping the ugly from coming out. Sidestepping Neveah, I stormed out of the house and into the humid night. Nothing made sense in my mind. My thoughts were ninety to nothing.

Each breath I took, the hot Texas air sucked it right back out of me. I let out a bitter laugh, turned and grabbed the nape of Neveah’s neck, pulling her mouth closer to mine. “Tell me what else she said,
please.”

Her eyes screwed shut. “She said your parents died in a fire.”

I nodded, stroking her bottom lip with my thumb. “And that it was my fault?”

“But it wasn’t,” she said, leaning her cheek against my palm. “It was an accident, Rage. You can’t blame yourself for that.”

I did though. I had since the moment it happened. Since the moment Hannah looked at me with wide innocent eyes. I knew then that I’d give my life away fighting for her, for her to have a life our parents wanted her to have.

And now I’d risk my life for more than just Hannah, I’d risk it for Neveah. “I can’t go back in time and change what happened, but I can keep you safe. Why did you go do that? I asked you to stay away. You promised me that.”

She gave me a blank stare. “Stop changing the subject. We need to talk about your parents—,”

“I don’t want to,” I whispered. “Not now.”

“Rage,” she whispered against my mouth. “You need to tell me what happened. Just tell me—,”

Frustration filled my voice and everything spilled from my mouth like vomit. “I killed them!” I shouted. “I’m the reason they died, Neveah. My sister blames me for it!”

She stroked my mouth with her fingers. “Tell me.”

***

My Xbox controller flickered green. “Oh no, man. My controller is going dead. Hold on!”

“Hurry the hell up! I’m dying over here!’ Frankthetank14 shouted.

I slung my controller down. Jumping up from the couch, I ran toward the kitchen. I dug through our battery basket.
Nothing. Fucking nothing
. Aggravated, I searched the house for remotes that used the same kind. “Shit, shit, shit,” I mumbled.

“Hurry man, they’re closing in!”

“Rage! I need the TV.
The Little Mermaid
is coming on Disney. I can’t miss it!” Hannah approached the couch that I’d been searching underneath.

“Like you haven’t seen it thirty times.”

“You’ve watched
Night At The Roxbury
just as much!”

“Tough shit, Hannah” I said. “I’m playing the game. Go over to Stephanie’s house to watch it. Y’all will just watch it together over the phone anyway.”

She huffed. “I don’t want to walk all the way over there.”

I groaned and placed my hands on my hips while looking around the room.
There has to be batteries somewhere!
“It’s right across the road. Stop being so damn lazy!”

She stuck her tongue out at me. “Whatever. Stephanie is more fun, anyway!”

The red light of the smoke detector blinked, and I smiled. I ran toward the dining room table and hoped on top. “Hurry man. They’re coming!”

Hannah walked over to the screen and smiled. “Rage sleeps with a nightlight and talks to himself in the shower.”

I unscrewed the detector and grabbed the batteries. “Hannah get away from the mic!”

She ran up the stairs, giggling.

“I’m coming, man.” I fumbled with the batteries. “I’m back.”

Adjusting my headset, I grabbed the controller and focused on the game. A few minutes later Hannah came back down. “I’m leaving. Mom and Dad are taking a nap. They want you to run to the store and get some butter.”

Goddammit. “Okay, Hannah,” I snapped. “I’m trying to play.”

“And what’s that smell? Are you cooking something?”

The zombies cornered us in the abandoned warehouse. “Hannah, no! Just go. I’ll get the butter.”

She said something, but my eyes were glued to the TV. My thumbs ached from the controller. “Damn,” Frankthetank14 screamed. “We fucking lost, bro.”

I slammed the controller down and palmed my face. “Shit. Same time tomorrow? I’ve got to go to the store for my parents.”

“Yeah, man. We’ll get ‘em tomorrow, peace.”

I slung my headset down on the couch and grabbed a ten from my mom’s purse on the way out.

***

Tears streamed down my face and clung to my skin. “When I got back our house had burnt to the ground. My parents didn’t make it out because the smoke detector in the kitchen didn’t have batteries,” I whispered. “Because I’d taken them out.”

I hadn’t wanted to talk about it. I didn’t want the girl I loved to see the real monster inside. Or bring up those emotions that would take hours to hide. I had planned to love her that night. Love her for wanting to save me so much. But then I couldn’t imagine her still loving me after hearing that. “Rage you can’t blame yourself for that, it was an accident.”

My throat constricted and it hurt to speak. “An accident that killed my parents, Neveah. I’m a murderer.”

“No,” she whispered, shaking her head. “You’re not. You were a kid. Kids mess up. Your parents wouldn’t have blamed you.”

“I wish that were true,” I said. “But it was my fault. Whether it was an accident or not, I was the one that took the batteries out. I was the one that let them die.”

Desperation filled her face. “Rage don’t let this eat at you anymore. You need to forgive yourself.”

I wanted to. I’d hoped for years that all the pain would vanish but it never did. “You’re not scared of me?”

Neveah smiled and a tear trailed down her face. “No, Rage. I’ll never be scared of you. No matter the things you’ve done. I’m helplessly in love with you. Can’t you see?”

I did see, and I felt it. “I just can’t believe it. I never thought I’d find a woman that loved me no matter what. Hannah was the one that always believed in Disney movies and fairytales. I never thought I’d have my own.”

“Me either,” she whispered. “I never knew that they could come true.”

I gathered her into my arms and held her against my chest. Knowing that I had her made my heart swell with pride.

I stroked her hair. “Now tell me what you were thinking going into the mall, Angel.”

She gave me a soft smile that melted my bones. It was like she understood my pain. She understood that I couldn’t talk about my parents anymore. Just letting her know was a huge hurdle for me.

“I didn’t go to the mall to see her. It was a coincidence, and I wanted her to understand. I wanted her to come with me. To leave but he’s blinded her.”

“Did you see him?” I asked, hoping she’d say no. Praying he hadn’t laid his eyes on her. The fact that he’d even glimpsed at her made my insides crawl.

She nodded. “I did. He said hi to me when I walked past him, but I didn’t say anything, I couldn’t.”

Knowing he was close to her fueled the fire inside of me. I wanted to gauge his eyes out for looking and break his jaw for speaking to her. “Neveah, fuck,” I whispered. “What if he caught you? What if my sister tells? I won’t let anybody fucking touch you!”

Neveah dropped her head and held her face in her palms. “I’m sorry, Rage. I just wanted to help. I hate seeing you so sad. And now I know how much sadness you keep in your heart and it’s breaking mine.”

“Did you think about how sad I’d be if something happened to you? Do you understand that he will
kill
you? Dammit Neveah, think before you do,
please
. I can’t lose the only two people in my life that I give a damn about.”

She lowered her gaze. “I’m sorry, Rage.”

I swallowed the scream in my throat. I didn’t want those beautiful eyes to look at me like that. I didn’t want to see sadness or pity, I just wanted her to be happy. I slammed my fists against the side of the wooden guest house. All the pint up emotion spilled out of me. Blood smeared against the wood. Splinters pierced my skin, but I couldn’t stop.
Four, Five Six—

“Rage, stop!” Neveah’s small fingers curled around my forearm, and she pulled. The next thing I knew I was on my back staring up at the starry sky. “I’m so sorry,” she squealed. “I had to make you stop.”

What the—she flipped me over her back.

I took her outstretched hand, letting her help me up. She stared up at me, mouth parted, her green eyes wide. “Are you okay? You’re bleedin—,”

I cut her off with my mouth. Despite feeling a little emasculated, I was turned the fuck on. She opened her mouth willingly, her small hands clutched the collar of my shirt. The night hadn’t started out like I’d hoped, but we’d still be in my bed and that was all I ever wanted.

Swallowing her moans, I lifted her to my waist, careful to keep my mouth slow and deliberate. I needed her slick and ready. “More,” she mouthed.

I smiled into our kiss while I opened the door and took her to my bed. I lowered her to the mattress, her soft curves pressed against me. “Not yet, Angel.”

She squirmed against me, but I pinned her down with my hips. “I owe you my life.”

Her brows pulled down in the middle. “You don’t owe me anything, Rage. All I want is you.”

I nodded, trailing her neck and jaw with my fingertip. “You didn’t freak out like I thought you would.”

She braced herself on her elbows. “Freak out about what? About your parents? Rage—,” she touched my cheek, “,—it was an
accident
. Your sister is just hurting. You both need to let it go.”

Let it go.
I watched Neveah’s eyes search mine. She’d lost her mother and knew exactly what I went through. “How did I get so fucking lucky, Neveah?”

She smiled, her heavy lids at half-mast. “You? I’m the lucky one. I’d been searching for you all my life, and I had no idea. I needed someone stronger than me. Finding that condom wrapper in Heath’s jeans was the best day of my life. It freed me from a life I didn’t realize was bad for me.”

“No, baby,” I whispered. “You needed someone as strong as you, not stronger. You’re the rock I need to get through this, I know it. I felt it in the woods that day. I’m not a
true love
kind of guy, or I thought I wasn’t. You’ve brought out every good piece of my blackened heart that’s left, and I’ll love you forever because of it. You’ve changed my life and accepted me for who I am. The prison number on my back never phased you. You’re my forever, Neveah.”