Redeeming Love (58 page)

All those horrible nightmares, the secrets and guilt she had carried.

Michael had said once she would have to throw away all her old baggage.

That’s what Duke was. Old baggage. “Oh, no, Duke. I carried you with me wherever I went.” She saw his smug smile and added, “What a waste of precious time.”

His mouth pressed into a hard line. “I’m going to give you a choice, my dear. You can manage the girls or become one of them.”

“Take Sally’s place, you mean? Whatever happened to her, Duke? I never saw her again after you moved me uptown.”

“She’s still in New York, making out very well for herself at the brownstone. She’s still quite beautiful. Too lush for my tastes, of course.”

“Poor Sally. She’s loved you for years. Or did you never know? I suppose you did. You just didn’t care one way or the other. She’s too old for you, isn’t she, Duke? Too much of a woman.”

405

Redeem.31 7/25/07 5:05 PM Page 406

R

E

D

E

E

M

I

N

G

L

O

V

E

Duke came out of his chair. Grabbing her hair, he yanked her head back, and his face came down within inches of her own. “What’s happened to you, my dear?” he said in a deceptively soft voice. “What will it take to bring my little Angel back?”

Her scalp was on fire, her heart in her throat. He could break her neck in an instant if he chose to. She wished he would and put an end to all of it.

His dark eyes changed as he glared into hers.

Frowning slightly, he eased his grip. “You’re no good to me dead.” Could he read her mind so easily? He let go of her with a hard jerk and stepped away. He crossed the room, then looked back at her warily. “Don’t push me, Angel. As fond as I am of you, you are not indispensable.”

Angel thought of the child. “Who is manager of the keys now?” She smoothed her skirt so he wouldn’t see how badly frightened she was or what her reasons for asking were. He was perplexed. That was far preferable to sadistic.

“I am.” He pushed his hand into his pants and pulled out a ring of keys.

“I think I would prefer Sally’s position.” If she could discover which key belonged to the girl’s door, perhaps she could get her out of this hellhole.

Duke was smiling, eyes laughing at her. He tossed the keys onto the table before her. “The wine cellar, pantry, linen cabinets, and costume room.” He opened his collar and slipped out a gold chain. A key was on it. “This is the one you want.”

Still smiling, he came to her again and rested his hands heavily on her shoulders. “I think you do need a lesson after all,” he said silkily. “I’m going to introduce you this evening. You’re going to wear a blue gown and leave your glorious hair down. You will be a great sensation. Every girl I have is lovely, but you are something very rare and special. Every man in the house will want you.”

Angel’s skin grew colder and colder as he spoke. She wanted to bolt from the chair but knew, even if she did so, she would succeed in nothing. It was wiser to sit still and wait.

“You will be the keeper of the keys next week, my dear, but for this one week, you will serve our patrons yourself. I have several in mind that will prove useful to me.” He smiled. “Besides, I’ve kept you far too exclusive. You 406

Redeem.31 7/25/07 5:05 PM Page 407

F

R

A

N

C

I

N

E

R

I

V

E

R

S

need a little awakening as to how well you have had it.”

When he stepped away, she looked up at his face and saw he meant every word he said.

Paul awakened to find Miriam stirring the coals and adding wood to his fire.

The blanket slid down his bare chest as he sat bolt upright and stared at her.

He was dreaming. He must be. Rubbing his face, he looked around and saw her shawl across the back of his chair and a case on the table.

She turned toward him and smiled. “Good morning. It’s almost light.”

She was real all right. Panic set in. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m moving in with you.”

“What?”

“I said I’m moving in with you.” He stared at her as though she had gone out of her mind. She came and sat on the edge of his bed. He pulled the blanket up to cover his bare chest.

Miriam watched Paul, and she couldn’t help but laugh at the absurdity of the situation. It was his own fault. If he weren’t so stubborn…

“This isn’t the least bit funny,” he said through his teeth.

“No, it isn’t,” she agreed more solemnly. “I love you, and I’m not going to let you go off to the mountains and ruin your life.” He looked endearingly confused. His hair was poking up in all directions, like a little boy’s. She reached out to smooth it down, and he drew back, his eyes filled with alarm.

“Go home, Miriam,” he said, desperate. He had to get her out of there!

Did she know what it did to him to have her say she loved him? If she didn’t leave now, he didn’t think he would be able to resist her. But she didn’t move. She just sat looking at him with a patient smile. He heard a roaring in his ears and bellowed, “I said
go home!”

“No,” she said simply, “and I’m not giving you your clothes, either.”

His lips parted.

She folded her hands and placed them demurely in her lap, then smiled at him. The look in her eyes made him hot all over. He could barely get his breath. This was insanity! “What are you playing at, Miriam Altman? What’s 407

Redeem.31 7/25/07 5:05 PM Page 408

R

E

D

E

E

M

I

N

G

L

O

V

E

your father going to say about this?”

“He already knows.”

“Oh, God,” he prayed aloud, wondering when John was going to burst in the door with a shotgun in his hand.

“Papa spent most of last night trying to talk me out of this and finally gave up. I would have been here sooner otherwise.” Her smile hinted at mischief. “Do you remember the Book of Ruth, Paul? In the Bible? Do you remember what she did? Well, Boaz, here I am, at your very feet. Now, what are you going to do about it?” She put her hand on his thigh, and he jumped a foot.

“Don’t touch me!” he said, beads of sweat breaking out on his forehead.

“I’m telling you, I want you out of here right now.”

“No, you don’t.”

“How do you know what I want?” He tried to sound angry.

“I know every time you look at me. You want
me.”

“Don’t do this,” he pleaded.

“Paul,” she said very gently, “I love Michael very much. He’s like an older brother to me, but I’m not in love with him and never will be. I’m
in love
with you.”

“You don’t belong with me,” he said, anguished.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” she said as though speaking to a recalcitrant child.

“Of course I do.”

“Miriam—”

She put her hand against his bare shoulder, and he drew in his breath at her touch. “I’ve always wanted to touch you,” she said, her voice soft and husky. “That day in the field when you were plowing—”

He swallowed hard and caught her hand.

Her eyes met his. “And I’ve always wanted you to touch me.”

“Miriam,” he said hoarsely, “I’m not a saint.”

“I know that. Do you think I am?” Her eyes were shimmery with tears.

“This isn’t easy, you know, but I am a woman, Paul, not a child, and I know what I want. I want you. As my husband. To live with for all our days.”

He was shaking. “Don’t do this to me.” He watched a tear slide down her cheek and couldn’t help himself; he reached out to brush it away. She put 408

Redeem.31 7/25/07 5:05 PM Page 409

F

R

A

N

C

I

N

E

R

I

V

E

R

S

her hand over his, trapping it there against her cheek, but only briefly. Her skin was so soft, her hair silky. His thumb slid down, feeling the wild pulse in her throat. “Miriam. Oh, Miriam, what are you trying to do to me?”

“Nothing you haven’t wanted for a long time. Admit it.” Her arms slid around his neck, and she kissed him. When she raised her mouth from his, he couldn’t have stopped for the world. He framed her face with his hands and kissed her, gently at first, then with all the pent-up love he’d been feeling for months.

He kissed her as the starving man he was. Her surrender to him made his senses swim. She was firm and smooth and warm, and she tasted like heaven. “I love you,” he whispered, almost afraid to say the words aloud.

“I’ve been going mad. I couldn’t stand it. I had to get away from you.”

“I know,” she said, trembling, her hands in his hair. She started to weep.

“I love you so much. Oh, Paul, I do.…”

He drew back, looking down into her face, noting how her cheeks were flushed, her eyes filled with her love for him, and he thought his heart would burst. She was his. She belonged to him! He could scarcely take it in.

She saw the look burning in his eyes and reached up to touch his cheek, her face softening with tenderness. “I want us to begin right. Marry me
first,
Paul. Be my husband. I want to share everything with you without any shadows over us. Without any regrets. If you make love to me now, you’ll be ashamed tomorrow. You know you will. You won’t be able to face my father and mother. You’ll think you took advantage of me.” She smiled tremulously.

“Even though it’s the other way around.”

“I thought I could leave you,” he said, knowing he would have carried her with him the rest of his life, a torment he would never escape. “I guess we’ll have to ride up to Sacramento and see if we can find a preacher.”

“No, we don’t.”

He looked at her, surprised.

Blushing, she smiled shyly, more the Miriam he knew and not the bold young woman who had stolen into his cabin at night.

“Papa said he would marry us himself. He was going through the trunk when I left, looking for his
Book of Common Prayer.
He was rather in a hurry, I think.”

409

Redeem.31 7/25/07 5:05 PM Page 410

R

E

D

E

E

M

I

N

G

L

O

V

E

He kissed her again, unable to help himself. “I never had a chance, did I?” he said, laughing softly.

“No, you didn’t.” She smiled, content. “Michael always said you’d come around. I just got so tired of waiting.”

From where she stood behind the curtain to the left of the stage, Angel could hear the men who jammed the casino. The place was a circus, and Duke was going to put her right in the center ring.

He had already given them a show of dancing girls, jugglers, and acro-bats. Where he had found such people Angel couldn’t even guess, but Duke had his ways and means. Perhaps he had waved his hand and produced them from the fire and smoke.

She moved restlessly, and the hand beneath her arm tightened. She hadn’t been without a guard since Duke had put her in the upstairs room.

There was no escape, and she was sick with dread and fear.

Closing her eyes, Angel fought down the nausea. Maybe she shouldn’t.

Maybe she should go out center stage and vomit. That would dampen the ardor Duke was inciting in the crowd. She almost laughed, but she knew if she did she would give in completely to hysteria.

She could hear him, working his audience. He had an orator’s voice. It had served him well in politics—and afterward, when he decided working behind the scenes was more lucrative. He was putting a fire beneath the waiting men, rousing them. She could almost smell their lust. In a few minutes, she would face it. Hundreds of pairs of eyes staring at her, taking off her clothes, imagining whatever they wanted to do to her. And Duke would let them make those imaginings real. For a price. Anything for a high enough price.

“For a week, you’ll serve them.”

Angel closed her eyes.
God, if you’re there, kill me! Please! Send a lightning
bolt, and wipe me off the face of the earth. Send me into oblivion. Send fire. Turn
me into a pillar of salt. Any way you want to do it. Only do it. Please, God, help
me. Help me!

“Easy, little lady,” the man said, smiling down at her coldly.

410

Redeem.31 7/25/07 5:05 PM Page 411

F

R

A

N

C

I

N

E

R

I

V

E

R

S

Oh, God. Oh, Jesus, please help me!

“He’s almost got them ready for you.”

Then, just when she thought her heart would stop for the terror, she heard it.

Sarah, beloved.

It was the same soft voice she had heard in Michael’s cabin. The one she’d heard in her dream.…

Be still, for I am here.

She looked around, but only her guard and the performers were there.

Her heart was racing madly, and her skin rose with goosebumps as it had that strange night in the cabin.

“Where?
Where?”
she whispered frantically.

The guard looked down at her questioningly. “What’s the matter?”

“Did you hear someone speaking?”

“With all that racket out there?” he laughed.

She was shaking violently. “Are you sure?”

His hand tightened, giving her a hard jerk. “You’d better get yourself together. Pretending you’re crazy isn’t going to do you any good. Duke’s just about ready for you to come out. Listen to those men. Sound like hungry lions, don’t they?”

Angel was ready to dig in her heels, but what was the use? She closed her eyes tightly again, trying to block out the maddening crowd sitting in front of the stage, trying to focus on the frightening, quiet voice in her head that called her by a name she had heard only once in a dream since her mother died.