Redeem the Wolf: BBW Paranormal Shape Shifter Romance (Wolf Valley Raiders Book 1) (3 page)

But she didn’t want to fight; she didn’t want to know what they wanted with her. She just wanted to be home, safe in her cabin.

An hour was about all that he could stand. It must have been obvious he was struggling to keep his head together because it was Mia who suggested he leave the gallery and all of his adoring public and go home.

“I’m sorry, I haven’t coped very well with tonight,” he told her as they stood outside by her car.

“No problem, Kurt, you’ve come a long way. I think it might be my fault for not listening to you. You told me you weren’t ready and I pushed you.” She smiled, handing him the keys to her car.

“Now, you take yourself home and Joel can give me a lift on the back of his bike when we have finished up here. I’ll let you know the grand total you’ve earned, and we can celebrate over a cup of coffee.”

“Mom will make you some cocoa. All I need is a pipe and slippers to complete the ensemble and I will look like an old man before my time.” He couldn’t keep the tinge of regret from his voice.

“Listen, Kurt. I know you thought she was going to be there tonight.”

“No, Mia, she
was
there.”

“Listen,” Mia said, opening the car door and watching her brother get in. “It was probably the excitement of the evening. You know how it is, nerves got the better of you and your mind played tricks.”

He shook his head while fastening his seat belt. “No. She was there. I have to find her.”

“Then we’ll help you,” She frowned, looking increasingly worried. “I’ll go to the hospital and find out who she is. Maybe if you saw her, it would make you see she isn’t the one.”

“Or prove that she is,” he smiled weakly at his sister, but she nodded in agreement.

“Or prove that she is. I think one way or another we have to put this behind you.”

“Thanks, Mia. For everything. I know you didn’t have to do this for me.”

“Well, we’re blood aren’t we, and since there is no pack to help you and watch your back, I guess it falls to me.”

“But I’m the eldest, the male. Aren’t I supposed to be the one to watch your back?”

“Welcome to the twenty-first century, Kurt. Women are the stronger sex.”

“Don’t I know it,” he said, laughing at her. She was right. Between the nurse who he was certain was his mate, his sister, and his mom, it was obvious he wasn’t man enough to look after himself. Maybe she knew that and hankered after a better, stronger man; perhaps he should leave his search for her until he regained his full strength, and his wolf.

“Damn it.” She could almost see the break in the trees which opened up into a glade and then it was only a five-minute walk to her cabin. But they were herding her back down the mountain. It started with howls from in front of her as they outflanked her, then movement in the undergrowth close by sent her running in the wrong direction. Should she stand and face them, or keep running?

In all of her training, she had never had to deal with a pack of wolves. Yes, she understood the pack mentality, but that didn’t help her now. Because if they were hunting as a pack, there was no doubt in her mind, they weren’t simply going to yell, “Caught you!” and then roll around on the floor laughing like children.

No, this was a serious hunt for them, and she was the reward at the end, but what they meant to do with her ranged from beating her through to raping her or killing her, and eating her for their supper.

“Not helping,” she said, although she could barely spare the breath to talk. Tired, scratched, and dirty, she wanted to sit down and cry, but she couldn’t.
She couldn’t
.

As her legs grew tired, she knew they were wearing her down, exhausting her. Nadine had little choice. She had to stand and fight.

Trembling, despite her best efforts not to show her fear, she stood still, looking all around her. There was no movement, no sound. Had they left her alone, was that it, the game was over? Taking a few steps back in the direction her cabin was in, she kept her eyes on the forest around her. Nothing.

Unable to go faster than a walk, her whole body trembling as shock gave way to relief, she made her way back home. Occasionally, she stopped and listened; still nothing, only the sensation pricking her neck telling her she was not alone.

Nearly home now, she was dragging her feet as she walked; hell, she was dragging her whole body. One foot in front of another, small hiccupping sobs escaping her as she wearily thought of her little cabin and the big bolt on the door she would shoot home as soon as she was inside. The solitary life had somehow lost its appeal after this attack. Yet where else would she go? She didn’t belong in any of the towns around here.

You could leave
. Her animal quickly killed off that voice. It would never let her leave, but it also made it impossible to stay. Could she ever face explaining her inability to change to Kurt? Would he lose his faith in her if he knew?

“Hello there, little rabbit.” The sudden voice made her jump, and then freeze. Where had it come from? She recognised it and her fears were confirmed; the flat tire had been done maliciously. This was the same voice from when she stopped on the road.

Too tired to run, she asked, “What do you want?”

“A little fun, a little entertainment. This big bad wolf wants to gobble you up.” The voice was accompanied by a figure, which slid stealthily out from behind a tree. His eyes were bright; even in the dark she could see the way they glowed in the moonlight.

“Leave me alone. I am tired of your games.” She stood straight, her body rigid, something that took all of her strength of will because her knees wanted to knock together and her teeth chatter in fear of this animal in front of her.

“I’m sorry, we thought you were having fun too,” he said, coming to stand in front of her, his arms folded across his chest, his teeth white in the moonlight. Apart from that, she could make out no real features, the trees casting their shadows perfectly across his face to conceal him.

“No, I am not,” she said tartly. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I am going home.”

“That suits me fine. It will be much better to do what I have in mind in the comfort of your little log cabin in the mountains.”

“I don’t think my boyfriend will be quite so pleased about that,” she replied and moved off in a different direction to get round him.

“Tut tut, no one likes a liar.” He walked parallel to her, through the trees.

“I am not lying. Now why don’t you go home?”

“Because I want you.” He leaned forward and sniffed the air. “Oh yes, the scent of your fear makes me hard. And I know you would hate for a man like me to be left wanting.”

“Go to hell!” she said, turning to face him, her hands on her hips, bringing herself up to her full height and thrusting her chin out at him. She had to see him off, she couldn’t let him hurt her, or rape her. Because that’s what his eyes were telling her he wanted to do. Her heart ached for Kurt; he was the one she was going to give herself to. Not this damn brute. Not without a fight. Inside, her animal agreed.

Now would be a good time for you to help
, she told it, and it fell silent.
Useless
.

The drive home gave him time to think. What if she knew he was a damp squib now, unable to change, unable to conquer his wolf, and no match for a woman like her? A woman like what? All he knew from his drug-fuelled haze was what she looked like and that she was his mate.

He didn’t even know her name. The hospital hadn’t told him, no matter how many times he asked. His deep-seated fear was that she had asked them not to tell him, not to trace her. They had stated it was their policy, but he doubted the policy existed for anyone but him. Paranoia. My old friend.

Driving past the turning to Wolf Valley, he looked across to where the lights illuminated the neighbourhood where he lived. How many other wolves were gripped by the need to be the alpha? It was so messed up. They needed a leader, someone to keep them safe … from each other, and themselves.

Tightening his hands on the steering wheel, he knew he would never be that person. But he hoped he could still become a better person, a whole person. Gripped with a sudden need, he headed up the road leading to his house, picking up speed. He needed to do this before he changed his mind.

With a spray of stones, the car slid to a halt and he got out, his heart beating so fast he thought it would explode in his chest. The front door of his house flew open; his mom appeared, looking concerned. The same expression he drew from her on a daily basis as she obsessed over one facet of his emotional stability after another. He hated making her feel like that. He had to make himself better. He needed to be whole again.

“Kurt, are you OK? How did it go?” She came towards him. He had to stop her, he didn’t want to hurt her.

“Mom, go back inside. There is something I need to do.”

“Kurt, you have nothing to prove,” she said, pleading with him.

“I have everything to prove. That night I chased Fiona up the mountain and nearly killed her, that was me, all me. Now I am paying the price for it. And I need to reclaim the part of me I lost. Perhaps in that way I won’t have to live with such guilt every day.”

“Kurt, what if you get stuck again?”

Then she’ll come back to me
. He had never consciously thought of it that way. Was that what he was trying to do? Lying to himself once more, as to what his objective was for turning wolf again. Did he secretly hope that if he was stuck he might need her help again and this time she would stay?

“I won’t, Mom.”

“Kurt, I’m scared, please come inside.”

He stood, head bowed, defeated by her words. He had put her through so much already. It would be selfish to put her through anything more. Sighing, he looked up at her, tears misting his eyes. “It’s OK, Mom. I need some time alone, though. I’m going for a walk. Don’t wait up.”

He went to her, pressed the car keys into her hand, and then said, “Mia will be coming for these. Don’t worry, I won’t do anything dumb.” He kissed her cheek, feeling the moisture from her tears on his lips. Every time she cried, every time he caught that look of fear in her eyes, he hated himself.

Sometimes he wondered if it was ever going to change. If he would ever be able to forgive himself. If he would ever be able to forgive his wolf.

Walking into the trees, he felt them close in around him and welcomed the comfort they gave. Old and wise, they cocooned him as he walked and then broke into a run. He had to get rid of this pent-up tension or he would explode and that would be no good for anyone.

The run became faster, his mind telling him this was the closest he would ever get to being a wolf now. Those days were gone.

Faster, trying to escape his new reality he flew through the trees, mile after unstoppable mile of trees, leaping over streams, the branches catching at him, but unable to stop him. But her scent did.

A small wisp of a breeze drifted through the forest, spreading the scent of his mate. With his nose in the air, he tried to catch it, to breathe it in; so fragile on the night air. Taking a few steps forward, he lost it and went back to the original place he had smelt it. He tried another way; this time he was reward by a stronger dose of her. Her hand had touched the trunk of a tree, making the scent linger. For a moment, he stood and took it in. Placing his hand where she had placed hers, feeling like a stalker or some kind of voyeur.

Then another scent touched his nostrils and made his hackles rise. Another wolf, here among the trees. Another. His mate had been with another wolf. A snarl rose up on his lips and he bared his teeth to the night. His own wolf was so close now, he could feel it ripping up the corners of his mind and it frightened him. What would his wolf do if it caught his mate with another wolf? He couldn’t bear to think of the consequences, so he shut the wolf in a mental box and swallowed the key. He could not come out now, he was trapped. It was a mental exercise she had taught him when he was trying to regain his human form. Ironic that after all of these weeks wanting to reclaim his wolf, he had shut it away on purpose.

Turning around he went back towards his house. Defeated, utterly and completely. This was why she had never wanted him to know who she was. She already had a lover, already had a mate. Maybe all men fell in love with her and thought she was theirs. Maybe that was how the treatment worked. He would have to learn to live with it, to be ever-thankful for the kindness and understanding she had shown him, but he needed to put some distance between them.

He was true to those words. Until the scream.
Her scream
. It rose up and echoed through the trees. She needed him. He would answer her call.

The man made a grab for her and she screamed, which made him excited. There was no other way to describe the look of pleasure on his face when confronted with her panic. He was a monster and she was at his mercy.

“I do so love it when a woman shows her emotions.” He closed his eyes, smelling the air. “Oh fear, I do love thee.”

Her mind raced through all the things she should say, all the training she had received, but there was nothing for this. He was a madman, pure and simple. She could sense the sexual pleasure he was getting from this and knew he would never let her go. But it seemed he liked the thrill of the chase, and when he came close to her, his breath warm on her cheek, and said, “Run,” she did.

He was behind her. A wolf, so close she could feel his teeth snapping at her heels. But he didn’t want to catch her yet, he first wanted to tire her out, make her easy to control. While she ran she tried to come up with a plan. It wasn’t her other side that had deserted her now, all the years of training and experience vanished too. She should be able to deal with this, talk him down, but she couldn’t think how.

He howled, a sound so eerie, so utterly unnatural, it confirmed her fears. He was insane. Running was not an option. He had greater stamina, especially over this terrain. The only thing she could do was stand and fight him now.