Redeem My Heart (35 page)

The piercing reverberations abruptly ended and shouts could be heard from every direction. One look around confirmed that everything was under control and Fallon immediately spun on her heel and saw Ryland on the ground, covering Derrick’s small and fragile body. Jax was already standing over them, a hand on Ryland’s back to push him aside so that Jax could reach his son.

Fallon’s heart stuttered when Ryland slowly rolled over onto an elbow while attempting to lift Derrick up into Jax’s arms. His son was covered in blood and crying in uncontrollable sobs unlike anything she’d ever heard before. That was, until a guttural sob escaped from Jax. It was a horrific sound that would forever remain in her mind. He held Derrick close while using one hand to wipe away the blood and locate the wound that was the source of it all. The CSA team members who were closest to them descended and did their best to help, but Jax wouldn’t release his son.

“I can’t find it,” Jax said raspingly, his unchecked tears rolling down his face. Emily was screaming Jax and Derrick’s names as she came running across the park, Lauren not far behind her. “I can’t find where he’s hit.”

It was then that Fallon looked down to see Ryland covering his chest with blood soaked hands. It hadn’t been Derrick who’d been shot, but Ryland. She instantly fell to her knees and called out for help. She dropped her weapon and put pressure on the wound, all the while repeating his name over and over.

“Travis. Travis, don’t you dare die. Travis, do you hear me? Travis…”

Travis Bowers had stopped breathing. His dry eyes were fixated on Derrick. Fallon watched helplessly as the life drained from his body, a small peaceful smile the only thing remaining.

Chapter Thirty

F
allon stared silently down at her bloodstained hands, ignoring the routine sounds of the hospital and the murmurs coming from those that surrounded her. Technically, they weren’t talking to her anyway. They were conversing amongst themselves and congratulating each other on a job well done while she sat here watching her life drain away similar to what she’d witnessed happen to Travis.

Travis Bowers had been the man to show up at the park today. He might not have been the young man he once was, but he’d been there…guiding Ryland’s hand. Fallon truly believed that with all of her heart…a heart that had stopped beating the moment his had.

“Ryland didn’t make it this far to only give up,” Taryn said softly, sitting in the vacant seat beside Fallon. She didn’t want this woman’s company and she desperately wished that everyone in this room would leave. They didn’t have a right to be here. They hadn’t believed like she had and the last thing she needed was platitudes. “If there is any man on the face of this earth that can pull through being shot directly in the chest…it’s Ryland.”

“Travis,” Fallon replied after having cleared her throat. “You saw Travis today, but I’m sure he wouldn’t argue the point with you.”

Fallon was grateful when Taryn didn’t continue to talk, but instead just sat there beside her. She finally looked up in search of a nurse who might be available to tell her how the surgery was going. Ironically, it had been Townes who’d instructed Fallon to start CPR while he’d administered the breathing. The two of them had been able to bring Travis back long enough for the paramedics who arrived to take over. He had coded several times on the way to the hospital and was currently in surgery with a slim chance of pulling through.

“I need some air,” Fallon murmured, standing up and ignoring the fact that the room tilted. She was still able to maneuver around the various people waiting to hear whether Travis lived or died. Crest and Schultz were on the left side of the room with Special Agents Utley and Quaid. They must be making arrangements for the party afterward. Connor, Kevin, and Lach stood in the middle of the room with their respective significant others. Ethan and Taryn had chosen to sit while Jax and Emily had left to have Derrick looked over by a pediatrician on another floor. Townes currently stood in her way as she reached the doorway. “Excuse me.”

Fallon pushed past him and out into a hall where all she heard were pages over the loud speaker and beeping from various monitors in the rooms lined up in the corridor. She took a few steps before leaning against a cool wall and resting her head back against the hard surface. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, ignoring the sterile odor of alcohol.

“They’re just trying to help,” Townes assured, not knowing anything of the sort. He hadn’t been a member of CSA during the days when Jax and Emily had been on the run or when Taryn and Ethan had gone in search of her half-sister in Texas. Townes hadn’t been there to see the devastation Ryland had caused or the collateral damage he’d left behind. She could honestly say she understood where each and every one of them was coming from, but that didn’t make her love Ryland any less. He was a part of Travis who she accepted, as damaged as that made her. Fallon slowly shook her head from side to side, not wanting to talk. Townes dismissed her, as usual. “You’re a part of this so-called family, Fallon. Crest wouldn’t have put his team at risk if you weren’t.”

“They don’t care if he lives or dies, Townes,” Fallon whispered, her voice hoarse from the tears she’d been doing her best not to shed. “Travis, Ryland, whatever any of you would like to call him…has become my life. I don’t know when it happened or how it happened, although Crest did warn me time and again that I was becoming too close to my subject—but it did happen. I love him and I can’t think beyond the next minute because to do so would be to admit that he might not make it. Right this second, I know his heart is still beating on that table. All I want is for time to stop and let me continue to have hope. Without it…”

“Agent Canna?” Fallon hadn’t realized she’d been crying until she tried to focus her gaze on the nurse standing in front of her. She wiped her eyes, ignoring the remaining stains of blood on her hands she’d tried to wash off hours earlier and tried to brace herself for what was about to be said. “Mr. Bowers is out of surgery. He’s being moved to a private room—506. The damage to his lungs and heart from the bullet was rather extensive. The surgeon will be in to explain further, but please understand the next twenty-four hours are critical. He won’t be awake for quite a while, but you are more than welcome to sit with him until the surgeon can get up there to speak with you.”

Fallon nodded and then welcomed the support Townes was giving her as she tried to stop her knees from trembling. Travis’ heart was still beating. She repeated that mantra over and over until she could put one foot in front of the other. It was only then that she realized Schultz Jessalyn might not allow her into Travis’ room until he was debriefed. She curled her fingers into her palms and spun around, every intention to fight the directive.

“Go,” Townes urged softly, wrapping his large hands around Fallon’s upper arms to stop her from reentering the waiting room. Hope filled her chest and she grabbed onto him to steady herself. “I’ll stall for as long as I can, at least until you can get to his room. I doubt Jessalyn or Crest will make you leave after you settle in.”

Fallon wrapped her arms around Townes, her hands barely able to touch. This man, who had every right to despise Ryland—if not more so—than the people inside that waiting room understood her need to be with him. This grizzly of a man, with his scars, tattoos, and gruff attitude, had put aside his differences and saved not one…but two lives today. She would forever be in his debt.

“Thank you,” Fallon whispered, finally letting go of him and placing a gentle kiss on Townes’ cheek. “For everything.”

Fallon quickly turned and made her way down the hallway through her tear-filled eyes. She barely remembered the elevator ride up to the correct floor or which corridors took her to Travis’ room. All she knew was that she was finally able to take her first real breath when she laid eyes on the man who had become her everything.

Travis was prone on a hospital bed with tubes and wires attached to his body while a sheet was draped over him at the waist. A large bandage covered his chest, along with what appeared to be a drainage tube from underneath the dressing. His eyes were closed, allowing his long lashes to rest against his pale cheeks. His lips appeared slightly blue, but that could have been due to the dim lighting shining from behind his bed. None of that mattered. All that she cared about was stepping closer and witnessing his chest rise up and down with each breath he took. She didn’t care that it was due to a respirator.

Fallon wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed with him, press her body against his, and hold him until he awakened. Instead, she pushed a rather large chair up against the gurney and took a seat. She curled her legs underneath her and then carefully slid her hand under his. He was cold to the touch and she reassured him that she would keep him warm. Talking aloud made her feel better, so she continued to talk in a soft and soothing voice.

“You’re going to be fine, Travis.” Fallon smiled through her tears, knowing he’d probably hate that she called him that. He liked it every now and then, but she doubted he would want her to address him as Travis all the time. He’d been Ryland too long for that. “Derrick is fine, too. He’s with his parents now. Grahn is dead, along with most of the contractors he’d hired. Those that are alive are in custody and it will be doubtful they’ll see the light of day any time soon.”

Fallon watched Travis’ face closely and looked for any sign that he could hear her. He was heavily sedated, but that didn’t matter to her. Eventually, she rested her cheek against the back of his hand and kept talking, wanting him to know that she was here with him. Every passing minute eased the tension in her body bit by bit.

“Schultz is searching for Gene Cyril, but I imagine he’s long gone. It turns out that Special Agent Utley had an idea of who was behind E.D.A., which was the reason for his unexplained absence. He was doing his best to keep this from blowing up, not realizing all of the events that had taken place. I’m not quite sure how Jessalyn is going to spin this to the media, but it can’t be avoided. Lafayette Park had more corpses in it than a cemetery by the time we left and right across the street from the White House. I think they may still be locked down from what I heard last.”

Fallon’s voice caught in her throat as she was reminded that Travis had almost been a part of that. She pressed a comforting kiss to the back of his hand and then rested her cheek against it once more. He wasn’t as cold as he was when she’d first entered.

“We have a lot of decisions to make when you wake up,” Fallon informed him, not willing to let him walk out of her life. “I had a lot of time to think while you were in surgery. Grahn mentioned there were several more test subjects and Jessalyn has yet to locate a facility in the area where the indoctrination was taking place. I was thinking you and I could make it our mission to find them. Let’s face it, it’s not like I can go back to work in my current position. I’m at peace with that, though.”

Fallon had already made her decision to hand in her resignation. She wanted a life with Travis and the Bureau would most likely frown upon her having a relationship with a former psychotic assassin—no matter how he’d become one, that he was in retirement, or that he’d tried extremely hard to give his life for an innocent child. It would take more than one sacrifice to make up for the lives Ryland had taken. Fallon amended that thought. There was nothing that could make up for the deaths he’d been responsible for, but he could build a new life that was devoted to helping those that were walking in his shoes.

“I love you,” Fallon whispered, needing to say it aloud to him. “I love Travis, I love Ryland, and I love the flaws that make you who you are. I accept all of you.”

Ryland lightly squeezed her hand, letting her know he’d heard her. Fallon allowed her tears to flow, unapologetic for loving a man who wasn’t perfect. She’d not only accepted the man he was, but she’d acknowledged who she was…and she was just as at peace as Travis Bowers was. Ryland’s heart had been redeemed, but it hadn’t been because of her—it had been due to a young man who’d never had a chance to exist.