Red Queen (4 page)

I couldn’t keep the excitement from my voice: ‘There’s some order – and all those survivors?’

She looked at me. ‘So far … I guess.’

I sat on the arm of Rohan’s chair. ‘When you don’t hear anything you start to wonder. No news can have you imagining the very worst. I was starting to think the whole damn world had died on us.’

Denny held my gaze. ‘It hasn’t.’

‘Not yet,’ Rohan said.

We were silent. My head swam with possibilities and scenarios, the image of Australian army trucks rolling down country roads and families standing in driveways. It was something. More than I’d hoped. I wanted to ask more, but Rohan leant low over his knees and pushed himself up from the chair.

‘Right,’ he said. ‘You’ll sleep on the couch, Denny. We’ll talk and sort things out when you’ve rested.’ He paused before leaving. ‘You do know,’ he said, looking at both of us, ‘now that we’re here we stay right to the end. And I decide the end.’

Coming in the back door with an armful of freshly picked pears I heard the shower running and knew it would be Denny.

Rohan was propped on a stool at the kitchen bench, with his legs crossed at the ankles and his arms folded over his chest.

‘How are the oranges?’ he asked.

‘Not ripe yet.’ I tilted my head towards the hallway. ‘She’s having a shower.’

‘I’ve given her a pair of your trousers and one of your shirts. Mum’s stuff was all too small.’

‘What’d she say?’

He shrugged.

‘You talked?’

‘Obviously.’

I passed him and opened the fridge to put the pears away. ‘So what did she say?’

‘I asked if she wanted a shower and she said yes.’

‘Did you look for the clothes together?’

Rohan arched a doubtful eyebrow.

‘I haven’t seen anyone for bloody months. I just wanna know what she talked about.’

The pipes hammered as she shut the taps off. They didn’t hammer if you turned the water off gently. I didn’t need to look at Rohan to know it irritated him. The shower door clunked open.

‘Does she reckon we can nick down the street and pick up new fittings and a shower door?’ he said.

‘Can’t we just do this nice? You know it’s hard enough.’

He shook his head. ‘No, probably not.’

I stared at him.

‘We’ll have stir-fried vegies for dinner. No meat. Not until we can be sure she won’t waste it on the chooks.’

‘Yeah.’

‘Go easy with fat.’

‘Yeah.’

We fell silent.

The taps in the bathroom ran briefly. I looked down the hall. There was the sound of something dropping in the bath. A quiet moment passed. Rohan was grinning at me.

‘What you thinking, Pup?’

‘Get stuffed.’

I turned away.

Denny opened the bathroom door and came out. She walked up the hall rubbing her index finger over her teeth, cleaning them.

‘Salt’s good for that,’ Rohan said. ‘Not that we’ve got a lot.’

The work pants Denny wore were too big around her waist; she’d tucked the shirt into them. ‘Would you have anything I could use for a belt?’ she asked Rohan.

‘Not really.’

I frowned at him.

‘There might be some offcuts of rope,’ he said after a moment.

‘Thank you.’

‘You’re welcome.’

‘You’ve got warm water,’ she said.

‘Yeah,’ I answered, butting in. ‘The hot-water system is set up through the combustion stove. We’re a bit spoilt. The stove’s almost out. You should try it when it’s fired-up.’

‘Or maybe not,’ Rohan said. ‘We’re not a health spa.’

Denny continued addressing him. ‘I left my clothes in the bath tub. Where should I wash them? In the laundry sink?’

‘You’d know your way around.’

‘I’m sorry I came into your house, Rohan, and for taking some of your food. I think you would have done the same in my situation. I don’t mean to make things harder, or weaken things in any way. I respect what you’ve got here.’

‘Right,’ he said.

‘You tell me what to do, and I’ll do it.’

I laughed. ‘I wouldn’t —’

‘Good,’ Rohan said. He got to his feet. ‘How old are you?’

‘Twenty-nine.’

‘How long have you been short on food?’

‘A couple of weeks. There wasn’t much at the farmhouse.’

I drew in a breath to speak, but Rohan came in over the top of me.

‘I’m not real sure how it is we’re meant to trust you, Denny. But … you’re here … and it would be better if Shannon could spend more time collecting wood and with the sheep. You could do the things around the house. Except the cooking – we’ll do that. But how do I know you won’t whistle in your mates when I’m in the bush and Shannon’s in the paddock?’

‘I don’t know.’

‘Well that’s heartening.’

‘What can I say? There’s ID in my bag to prove I’m from Queensland. And I’d hoped what I’d done would prove that I’m alone. I’m the same as you – I want to survive this. And I agree; it’s safer to stay secluded. Too many people only pose a greater risk. What you’ve got here is amazing. You’ve got the ability to stay secluded and wait it out, and that’s got to be the best option. I agree with you.’

‘Well we’ll see, won’t we.’ Rohan looked at me. ‘You organise her bed. Then do dinner.’ He handed me the shotgun. ‘Don’t let her walk around alone.’

‘You play well,’ she said.

I was bent over the blanket box.

‘Did you play in a band?’

‘Yes,’ I said straightening. ‘Just a uni thing; not serious. I’m not much of a singer – as you’ve probably heard.’

I lowered the lid of the box and looked at her. ‘How many times did you come inside?’

‘I liked listening to you play, Shannon. I’d sit up the top of the bluff at night and just listen to you. I don’t think I would have tried to approach if it hadn’t been for your guitar. It was something from before. So strange out there. You know?’

I did know. But I didn’t know about her angled head, her calm expression, the way she used our names. Had I forgotten how close people stood, or was she one step within the circle?

‘What do you think will happen?’ I asked.

She looked away, past my shoulder. ‘I think it won’t ever be the same. I’m afraid it won’t ever be the same.’

‘So am I.’

While I made dinner she sat at the bench.

She followed my movements in the kitchen as if I was an impoverished Jamie Oliver and she was entitled to analyse my cooking methods.

‘How old is Rohan?’ she asked.

‘Um … thirty-eight.’

‘Did he lose children?’

‘He wasn’t married. We lost Mum and Dad though.’

‘I’m sorry.’

‘They built this place,’ I said. ‘They should be here. Dad had a different end-of-the-world theory every week. I swear he was almost pleased at the first serious outbreak.’

‘They probably built it more for the both of you, for their children.’

‘Yeah.’

She grew quiet. I turned and looked at her.

‘Do you need to lie down?’ I asked.

‘No, I’m all right. Pretty hungry.’ She held up her hands to show how much they were shaking. ‘The smell doesn’t help.’ She smiled ruefully. ‘Food, hey.’

‘I know.’

‘It’s all you think about. I’ll never forget the smell of this place when I found it – cooked meat, like you’d had a BBQ. God.’

‘When was that?’

Her eyes moved past me and her answer petered off. ‘Just a few weeks …’

Rohan walked in from the lounge room.

‘Spent that time making sure we weren’t psychopaths?’ he demanded, ‘doing your own little character studies? Not the sort of people to follow you with guns and get you working in the yard. Refuse to let you leave? Not like that?’

I shot a dark look at Rohan.

‘Well,’ he said, ‘might as well be honest about the situation. It might be all smiles over the fried-up vegies but if you don’t understand the importance of the boundaries, it won’t be so friendly. In fact I’ll be perfectly clear, so no-one can use the excuse of ignorance. Denny,’ he said, looking at her. ‘If you leave and try to come back again, or put us under any risk whatsoever of contamination, I’ll shoot you.’

‘There’s no need to say that!’ I said.

‘I think there is.’

‘We all understand.’

‘Do we?’

‘Denny’s been out there – more than we have. She knows, for Christ’s sake.’

Rohan’s mouth curled. ‘You speak for
her
now? That was quick.’

I looked at Denny. Her gaze was fixed to one side, away from me. Rohan moved and I watched her eyes swing to follow him. I breathed and it wouldn’t fill me. But just as I gritted my teeth, seeing now how it would be, Denny lifted her gaze to me. With Rohan down the hall, away from us, she smiled.

And I settled with the sight of it – stupidly, like a pup, I softened in an instant because of the approval of her smile. She brought a finger to her lips.

While Rohan washed in the bathroom, Denny and I held eye contact. The message wasn’t clear, but when we heard Rohan coming, and broke our connected stare, I felt time had skipped forward and back for us, and we had instant history. Denny and I had fast-tracked to a place way beyond Rohan. And he’d never catch up. I was very confident of this.

THE
U
NDERSTANDING

1

THE SUN WAS
low and the three of us were standing on the veranda. I leant on the rail, my mind out there with the sheep while my body tuned unconsciously to Denny’s presence. She stood behind me.

I knew her smell; it had changed every room in the cabin, as though she’d pulled off invisible storage sheets covering the furniture and renounced all bad memories. Her sneakered feet on the boards reverberated in such a way that I doubted even Rohan couldn’t miss the soothing effect of them. I knew how she breathed, and how it became deeper and more spaced when Rohan was near, and how she sometimes put one foot directly in front of the other and slipped her heel out of the front shoe. I knew her smile came easy, but rarely reached her eyes.

She slept a lot and tired quickly, and Rohan hated it.

He was stir-crazy, pacing sometimes, as she curled in a chair on the veranda and nodded off. He would take me aside and point out the extra food we’d gone through and the socks and work boots we’d probably have to give to her. He’d look off to the bush, and I’d know he was impatient to get back out there, to fish along the creek.

I’d told him to go, and he was coming round. In the evenings in particular you could feel his acceptance of her.

Standing together like this, on the veranda, with the breeze moving through the bracken, and the eagles hanging like kites in the cool updrafts, was nice. I was thinking I might close my eyes and open myself to a decent dose of life force, to forget the state of the world and try for that second of bliss, when only life mattered. Then Denny spoke.

‘I can sing,’ she said.

And it was something in the way that both Rohan and I turned to look at her that set her off. For a while she moved her gaze between us. I don’t know what my expression was – I was full of food, the sunset was captivating, her sentence was too short and too sudden, and delivered almost impishly. All that combined, and I’d gotten bogged. Rohan must have been bogged too, because as she looked from one face to the other her mouth pulled into a half-smile and then tightened as she began to laugh.