Red Letter Day (30 page)

Marina brushed his hair back out of his eyes with gentle fingers. 'Did he eat?'

Kay shook her head. 'He's had nothing but water.'

'My God, he must be sick.'

'Miserable,' Kay agreed, 'but his temperature's down. I'm sure he'll be fine after a night's sleep. Why don't you take him upstairs and I'll put on the kettle?'

'Great.' Marina gathered Josh up in her arms and took him up to bed. After she'd tucked him in and kissed him she went downstairs to her mother.

'You look exhausted,' Kay remarked as she set the table.

'I'm frozen.' Marina shivered, folding her slim arms to try to warm herself. 'I think I must be coming down with the same bug that Josh has. Only in this country could you get an infection in the summertime.'

Kay chuckled. 'To hell with the tea, I'll make you a nice hot toddy and you can take it to bed.'

'Thanks, Mum, I don't know what I'd do without you.'

When Marina was in bed, Kay took her tea into the sitting room and settled in front of the television. There was a film starting that she'd been wanting to see for ages but as she sat there she found her mind wandering back over the last few hours. In sickness, Josh had been a different child. There had been no cheekiness and no tantrums. He had curled up close to her and held on tight to her hand with his pudgy little fingers. It was the first time in years that Kay had felt close to him and, realising that he must be feeling really bad, she'd sung, told stories, done anything that would bring a smile to those tiny lips and big blue eyes. For the first time he'd reminded her of Marina when she was small. Kay sniffed as she remembered what a beautiful child her daughter had been. Women used to stop her in the supermarket to admire the blonde curls, large blue eyes and the pretty smile that never seemed to be far away. Kay was convinced that Josh's acerbic nature was due to the absence of his father. Marina had over-com-pensated for his absence and given Josh whatever he asked for. What the boy actually wanted was the love and presence of his father but Ray just swanned in and out of his life when it suited him.

Kay decided that instead of sitting on the sideline criticising maybe it was time she waded in and helped raise Josh to be the great kid she knew he could be. There was no doubt he was smart but at the moment he used his intelligence to outwit his mother. Perhaps it would be different when Marina and Dominic were married. Dominic was a sensible and kind man and would be a good influence on both her daughter and grandson. It was too soon for him to become a figure of authority in Josh's life but thankfully he seemed to realise that. He wasn't going out of his way to win Josh over but he was friendly and approachable. Of course, Josh was still treating him like a leper but Kay had noticed a softening in his behaviour lately. Especially when Dominic played football with him. How Josh would feel when he had to share Marina full-time though was another story.

Kay yawned, switched off the television and stood up. There was no point in staying up to watch the film when she wasn't even following the plot. It had been a long day and it was unlikely that Josh would sleep through the night. Best to get some sleep while she could.

She felt she had only settled her head on the pillow when Josh started to cry. By the time she dragged herself out of bed and went into his room, Marina was already there.

'I want Granny,' Josh was whining.

'Darling, it's Mummy.' Marina stroked his face and bent to kiss him.

He pushed her away. 'I want Granny,' he repeated, sounding slightly hysterical.

'Go on back to bed, love.' Kay put a hand on her daughter's shoulder. 'I'm a novelty, that's all. Get some sleep and you can take over in the morning.'

Marina hesitated for a moment but as Josh started to cry even louder, she got to her feet and left the room.

'Now, Josh, calm down.' Kay sat on the edge of the bed and reached for the beaker of water she'd left on his bedside table. 'Have a drink,' she said, helping him to sit up.

'My throat hurts,' he sobbed, large tears rolling down his cheeks.

'I know. Take a drink and I'll go and get some medicine.' She felt his forehead and as she'd expected it was hot and damp. She hurried into the bathroom to get the Calpol. When she returned, Josh had stopped crying. 'Now, love, open wide.'

Josh obediently opened his mouth and swallowed the medicine.

'Good boy. Now, lie down and I'll tuck you in.'

'Granny, will you stay with me?'

'Of course I will.'

'And rub my back?'

Kay smiled. 'Okay, then. But only if you promise to close your eyes.'

'Promise,' Josh mumbled and stuck his thumb in his mouth.

Kay stayed with him, humming softly and rubbing his back until his breathing was even. She crept out of his room and was about to go back to bed when she noticed that Marina's door was ajar. 'Marina, are you awake?' she whispered, sticking her head into the darkened room.

'Yeah.'

As her eyes grew accustomed to the darkness, Kay saw her daughter sitting cross-legged on the end of the bed. 'He's fine, love,' she said, sitting down beside her.

'I think I should give up work, Mum,' Marina replied. 'He obviously resents the fact that I wasn't here today.'

Kay chuckled. 'That's rubbish. He's acting up because he's sick. In the morning he'll have forgotten all about it and will hate me again.'

'He doesn't hate you,' Marina protested.

'He doesn't love me like he loves his mummy either.'

Marina's eyes looked even larger in the dim light. 'Sorry, Mum, I know I'm being silly. It's just that I love him so much.'

Kay squeezed her hand. 'Of course you do.'

'I'm glad he feels so safe with you.'

'You know I'll always look after him, Marina. I'm here whenever you need me.'

Marina hugged her. 'Thanks, Mum.'

'Now I think we should both get some sleep before the little man wakes up again.'

Long after Kay had left her, Marina lay staring at the ceiling and thinking about her life. In the freezing cold on the beach today she'd realised that the attraction of modelling had finally worn off. It was just a job and a job that took her away from her son too often. Now that she was in her thirties she had to go where the work" was and that was often outside of Dublin. That wasn't so bad while they were living with Kay but when they moved in with Dominic, Josh was going to need her more. Especially when he started school. Marina didn't want Kay to be the one meeting him at the school gate every day. She was his mother, that was her job. She couldn't believe the searing jealousy she'd felt when Josh had called for his granny. It had hurt so much, although she'd tried to comfort herself that it was just because he was sick and tired. Still, much as she wanted her Mum and Josh to be close, she didn't want to be replaced. It was time to take stock. Time to reevaluate her situation.

A few days later she was lying in Dominic's bed mulling over her options once more.

'Are you going to tell me what's on your mind?' he said, raising himself up on one elbow to look down on her. 'I find it a bit insulting when you're this distracted.'

Marina smiled and stroked his face. 'Oh, I'm sorry, darling, I was just thinking about Josh. He was so sick it gave me quite a fright.'

'But he's okay now.'

Marina hugged the duvet around her. 'I know that, but it's made me think.'

'Sounds serious.'

'I've decided to give up modelling.'

'Really?'

'It just doesn't do it for me any more and I hate not being there for Joshie.'

'He seems happy with your mother.'

'Exactly,' Marina muttered.

Dominic laughed. 'You're jealous!'

'I know — isn't it pathetic? It was so tough when we first moved in but now the two of them are much closer. Last night he even helped tidy his toys away.' Marina shook her head in wonder. 'He'd never do that for me.'

'She's wonderful with him,' Dominic agreed. Josh could be a handful but he seemed to have settled down a little recently. There was no doubt that it was all due to Kay's influence. Though she was strict with him she was also generous with her time. One night, Dominic and Marina had arrived home to find a sheet draped over the kitchen table and Josh and Kay crouched underneath 'camping'.

'I could get a part-time job.'

'You could always help me at the deli. I'm sure we'd make a great team.'

Marina's eyes widened. 'But I don't know anything about running a shop and as for food, well, I can screw up boiling an egg.'

He laughed. 'I wasn't planning on asking you to do the cooking. Why don't you think about it?'

Celine set out for the community centre with a heavy heart. She hadn't heard from Richard in days, Marina seemed to be spending all of her time with Dominic and her father had gone on a golf holiday with an old friend to the Algarve. He had waited until Alan returned from London before he arranged it. When he'd dropped into the shop to tell Celine he was in buoyant mood.

'They're getting on like a house on fire,' he'd told Celine. 'I met them in the club last night and you wouldn't believe the difference. Brenda was blushing like a bride and Alan couldn't take his eyes off her.'

'Brenda called me yesterday. The counselling seems to be doing the trick.' Celine had yawned and brushed her hair back out of her sunken eyes.

Frank looked at her. 'Are you okay? You're looking a bit peaky.'

'I'm not sleeping very well.'

'Are you afraid here on your own? You know you could always move in with me. I could cancel the holiday—'

'Daddy, no, don't be silly, I'm fine.'

Frank looked relieved. 'If you're sure?'

'I'm sure.'

Celine turned into the centre and climbed the steps to the door. Thankfully, she had managed to convince her father she was fine and sent him on his way. It was true that she wasn't sleeping though. It reminded her of the first few months after Dermot's death. She went to bed tired but sleep wouldn't come. Now she felt worn out and the thought of facing Mary Boyle and her pals tonight did nothing to raise her spirits. At least she had finished most of the costumes and with luck she'd be ready to go before they broke for coffee. That way she wouldn't have to talk to anyone, not that anyone would probably want to talk to her.

Slipping into the back of the auditorium, Celine edged her way around the cast and went through the partition into what had become her sewing room. Almost immediately, Cathy appeared in the doorway. 'Hello there, I thought I saw you creep past.'

Celine grimaced. 'Sorry.'

'You have nothing to be sorry for,' Cathy assured her. 'You're helping out this society, I appreciate that, and so do the others though that's not always apparent.'

'I'll be honest, Cathy, I'm going to finish up tonight and then you won't see me for dust.'

'That's a shame. I hope you'll still come to the show.'

Celine grinned. 'I'll be the one in the wig and the trench coat.'

Cathy gave her a brief hug. 'I'll watch out for you.'

Celine watched her walk back to join the cast and then turned her attention to the work at hand. She was quite pleased with how the costumes had turned out. Some of them had been quite badly made and hung like sacks, but by ripping out a seam here and there, changing necklines, removing sleeves, she had made them fairly presentable. She worked steadily . and was surprised when Dominic appeared at her side with a cup of coffee.

'You seem to be working very hard.'

Celine took the cup and thanked him. 'Yeah, well I wanted to leave early.'

'Going somewhere? Oh, sorry, I didn't mean—'

Celine smiled at the look of dismay on his face. 'It's okay, Dominic. No, I'm not going anywhere.'

'You must come out with Marina and me one night.'

Celine raised an eyebrow. 'And play gooseberry? I don't think so.'

'Would you feel better if Josh came too?'

She smiled. 'Yeah, thanks. How is Josh?'

Dominic laughed. 'Well, he's stopped trying to trip me up so I suppose that's progress! I'll let you get back to work.' Dominic turned to leave.

'Right. Dominic?'

He turned back.

'Thanks for the coffee.'

He smiled. 'You're welcome.'

Half an hour later, Celine left when they were all in the middle of a chorus of 'Get Me To The Church On Time'. She was glad that Dominic had come to talk to her. She realised it probably hadn't been easy for him and he'd more than likely done it for Marina's sake, but at least he'd made the effort. She realised how appalled he must be at her behaviour. From Marina she knew that Dominic believed in the sanctity of marriage and adultery was completely abhorrent to him. Of course Celine agreed. When she was married she'd never looked at another man and would have been devastated if Dermot had been unfaithful. But of course that would never have happened. They had been madly in love, with eyes only for each other. That certainly wasn't the case in Kevin and Eileen's relationship. Kevin had slept with plenty of other girls before Celine came along. Of course that was no excuse for her behaviour, Celine realised as she let herself into the flat. She'd have to stop thinking that way. She deserved the names that she was being called. She deserved Dominic's disappointment and Richard's distrust.

She dumped her bag on the sofa and turned on the lamp with a heavy sigh. It was time to stop blaming everything and anything else for her mistakes. Instead of being defensive with Richard she should explain everything and accept the blame for her behaviour. If he couldn't cope with that then she'd just have to accept it. Silent tears rolled down her cheeks as she realised that she'd blown her second chance of real happiness. She stood up and went to the phone but stopped, her hand on the receiver. It wasn't fair dumping on Marina all the time, especially now that she was involved with Dominic. She moved away from the phone and went to the fridge for a can of Coke. She fancied something stronger but now that she was solely responsible for the shop, Celine had eased off the booze. One or two drinks would be fine of course but she didn't trust herself to leave it at that tonight. She took her Coke back to her favourite spot by the window and sat down. She had come to Hopefield to escape her life but it had followed her. Now she had to decide whether to stay and live with the consequences or move on to pastures new.