Red: Into the Dark (8 page)

Nash

I carry Red back to the cabin and get her cleaned up. She seems so frail, so fragile. I lay her tiny body in the bed and just run my fingers through her hair. Finally, I’m touching her. After all this time, I can finally feel her skin against mine.

I just wish it didn’t have to be like this.

I wish my baby wasn’t afraid.

Now I have to leave her. As much as it pains me, as much as it tears a whole in my freaking heart to have to go, there is work to be done. Red will be safe enough in bed for now. I lift the blankets to her chin and make sure she’s not too warm.

There’s a pair of my jeans in the dresser and I yank them on, along with some sneakers. I haven’t worn them in ages. It’s a wonder Red never commented on them. Then again, her grandmother was an eclectic woman. The cabin is full of all sorts of strange things that I’m quite sure I don’t want to know about. I head out to the porch and lock the door, placing the key back in my new hiding spot: an abandoned bird’s nest in a nearby busy. I’ll show Red the spot later. That hide-a-key stone was just an all-around awful hiding spot.

It’s a wonder no one found the cabin before.

After one last long look at the cabin, I go take care of the bodies. Shifters are easy enough. Once a shifter dies, he or she usually turns back to their human form. Some species of shifters will disintegrate, but not all.

Not wolves.

The forest is isolated. No one is going to bother Red again, not so soon after the last attack. If I’m lucky, Jeffrey won’t even notice his men missing for hours, maybe even a day. I don’t know if he sent he men directly after her or if she just stumbled upon an unlikely hunting crew, but it doesn’t matter now.

She’s safe now.

I keep trying to remind myself of that.

Right now, I need to stay focused. I try not to worry too much about the pack or why they were sent to get Red. I don’t know if they planned to kill her or just break her before they brought her to the Alpha. It doesn’t matter, though. All that matters is that she’s safe now. I won’t let anything else happen to her.

Part of me is horrified that I almost got there too late.

Just a few more minutes and it would be all over.

I won’t let myself think about that. Even though I don’t think anyone will see the wolves, I need to take care of disposal. Cleanup is never fun, but unfortunately, I’ve seen my fair share of bodies and I’ve learned what it takes to get them hidden away.

It wouldn’t do to have someone come across half a dozen bodies in the middle of the forest, so I dispose of them. The task takes me over three hours. It’s not pleasant. It’s messy and gross and my clothes are ruined. I thought it would be easier to deal with while dressed, but I was wrong. I ditch the clothes, go for a swim, then head back to the cabin.

Red should be awake. Hopefully she isn’t too freaked out or upset that I left her. I’ll explain everything, then she’ll understand. She has to.

She seemed pretty happy that I saved her. Then again, I’d be happy if anyone came to my rescue from a horrible attack, too, no matter who my savior was. It doesn’t mean she’s crazy about me. It doesn’t mean she even likes me very much.

When I step up to the cabin, I hesitate for just a moment. Am I ready for this? When I walk through that door, everything will be different. I won’t just be Wolfy, her friendly pet. I won’t be some animal who brings her dinner. No, I’ll be me: shifter and all. I’ll be Nash, the guy who saved her, but who is damaged. I’ve got baggage. I’ve got crap I carry with me. Will she be willing to deal with that? Will Red see the real me through the pain?

There’s only one way to find out.

I unlock the cabin door and step inside. My eyes quickly adjust to the dim lighting and I find Red sitting up in bed. She eyes me from her position. She’s guarded. Her back is to the wall and her quilt is pulled up to her neck.

I try not to laugh at her. She looks pissed, but she’s so cute that she looks more like a feisty kitten than anything else.

Instead of asking her if she’s okay, which I suspect will get a stuffed animal or pillow thrown at me, I take a seat in the rocking chair, lean back, and cross my legs at the ankles.

Then I wait.

I act like I have all the time in the world because to be honest, I kind of do. I don’t have any pressing career to run to or anyplace I have to be. The only thing I wanted to do was live a calm, happy life away from the pack.

Even that seems to be impossible now.

I know Jeffrey is after Red. She’s made that much clear enough, but to be honest, I kind of figured she was exaggerating. It would make sense for her to do so. She’s a sweet kid, but she has no idea how big the world is.

What makes her so special that he’d want to destroy her?

I wait patiently, but she just sits there stewing. Finally, just when I think I should give up and go for a run or something, she takes a deep breath and asks, “Aren’t you ever going to put any clothes on?”

“Why would I? You’ve seen me naked before.”

“Not like that!” She gasps, as if the idea of a naked man in her home is the worst thing she could possibly think of. I roll my eyes.

“You know, if you want to be technical, little Red, I was here first. If you have a problem with my nudity, perhaps you should just get out,” I rise from the rocking chair, standing in the middle of the room, just staring at her. Then I jerk my thumb toward the door in one quick, harsh motion. Is it mean? Absolutely, but it gets a response. Oh, it definitely gets a response.

She stands up and lets her blanket fall to the floor. If this is her reaction to me being snarky, I’m going to have to up my game. I have all
sorts
of snarky things I can say. That was only the beginning.

“What are you doing?” I ask, but she doesn’t answer as she quietly sashays across the room to where I’m standing. She wiggles her hips as she makes her way slowly across the floor. Red’s body mesmerizes me as I watch her glide across the hardwood flooring over to where I’m sitting. Suddenly, I’m swept up in her. The room feels small, tiny, and the only thing I can see is her beautiful face.

And Red suddenly seems very, very happy to see me in her cabin.

What happened?

I stand perfectly still, afraid I’ll ruin the moment if I move. I might be a shifter, but Red is the one who is skittish. She’s the one I have to be cautious around. She’s the one I have to be careful not to freak out.

She’s completely naked as she walks to the center of the room and places her hands on my broad chest. It’s the first time we’ve both been naked together and suddenly, the room feels about 10 degrees warmer.

“What are you doing?” My voice is a whisper.

“You saved me.”

“Anyone would have done the same thing, Red.”

She shakes her head adamantly, somehow thinking I’m this great Prince Charming. I’m not. Maybe I should stop her now before she gets any other ideas in her head about who – or what – I am.

“You don’t get it,” she chuckles softly. She runs her palms up my chest and lets them rest on my cheeks. She cups my face and stares up at me like I’m the only man in the world she sees.

Oh, damn, Red makes me feel like I’m the only man in the world.

“No one has ever risked their life for me before,” she says. “I can’t believe you did that for me.”

“You knew, didn’t you?” I ask. She had to have known. The entire shifter-and-human thing is way too farfetched to believe if you don’t know for a fact that it’s true, so why doesn’t she seem more shocked? I would have thought she would be in denial. I actually considered that maybe she would try to kill me, but she didn’t.

No, Red doesn’t do anything I expected her to.

Instead, she lifts up on her tiptoes and whispers against my mouth. Her lips flutter against mine with soft, perfect kisses.

“I knew.”

Then her lips crash into mine and I can’t hold back the growl that’s building inside of me. This is Red. This is Red and she’s kissing me and she’s pressing her naked body against mine.

My skin instantly sparks to life and I’m breathless beneath her touch. It’s been a long time since I let a woman touch me like this: an even longer time since it made me feel alive.

I grip her hips and let her kiss me. Her skin is soft against mine. Everything about her is soft and sweet. She’s curvy with long brown hair. I want to run my hands through it, but I don’t want to move too quickly. I don’t want to freak her out. This kiss is fucking amazing and I’m nervous that one wrong move might end it.

“I don’t know your name.”

Her words are soft and sweet, a low whisper. If I wasn’t a shifter, I probably wouldn’t have even heard her. She doesn’t stop kissing me. Red just keeps murmuring sweet nothings as her hands roam my body.

She traces her fingers down my spine and cups my ass, pulling me into her. My length presses against her belly. I know she can feel it, but she doesn’t react. She just keeps touching me.

“You mean you don’t want to call me Wolfy anymore?”

She giggles.

Her voice is soft and precious. The truth is that living with Red has been the best experience of my life so far. I’ve never felt so passionate, alive, or happy as I do right now.

Running with the pack, being subservient to an evil alpha, that took a toll on me. I didn’t even realize how damaged and jaded I’d become until I actually met Red and got to know her.

Granted, she doesn’t
know
me, but I’ve spent so much time listening to her talk to herself that I’d like to think I know
her
pretty well.

“I don’t want to call you Wolfy anymore,” she says. “Unless that’s your real name?” She pulls back and smiles at me. One eyebrow is raised. I want to fuck with her a little bit and tell her it is, but I won’t. The time for games has passed.

“Nash,” I say.

“Nash,” she whispers. I love the sound of her voice, love the way my name rolls off her lips. I want her to say it again and again and again. “And you thought ‘Wolfy’ was a silly name.”

I should be bothered at the playful jab, but I’m not because it’s her. I know my name is unusual, but it’s the only one I’ve got, and I think that once she gets to know me, she’ll think it’s fitting. I think once she gets to know me, a lot of things will be fitting.

Like my body into hers.

“What are we doing, Red? You should get some rest. You had an insane day.” I should be a gentleman. I shouldn’t take advantage of her vulnerable state.

She doesn’t need me right now, not like this, but if she doesn’t stop kissing me and touching me, I’m going to lose what little control I have left.

“I feel fine,” she kisses me again. Red is acting like a girl who hasn’t been touched in years. When was the last time she was touched? Played with? Worshipped?

When was the last time someone spread her out like a delicious feast and just dined on her?

“Red,” I push back, firmly this time, releasing her hands from my body. “We shouldn’t. You’re exhausted. You’re in shock. I would be, too, baby. What happened today was is insane. I never should have let you leave without me.”

I thought Red would feel hurt when I pushed her away. I thought she would tear up or cry, but she doesn’t. Instead of being a vulnerable mess, instead of crying or breaking down, she starts laughing.

And somehow, I get the distinct impression she’s laughing
at
me.

“Was it something I said?”

Red

“No,” I say simply, and let him go. “I just think it’s pretty crazy that I almost got murdered by a group of evil shifters and now the one shifter I really want just rejected me. Just my luck.”

I throw my hands up and march out of the cabin, letting the screen door slam behind me. I’m buck naked, but I don’t care anymore.

I need a break from this.

Nash follows me, his own nudity making mine pale in comparison. Seriously, how much time does that guy spend at the gym? Are all shifters that cut? He’s taller than I expected, and lean. He’s fit, but not too muscular. He looks like he runs and lifts a little. He looks like he’d be fun to fuck.

Oh, dammit!

Why is my mind going
there?

As if my day wasn’t hard enough without a heaping dose of by-the-way-your-pet-is-really-a-super-hot-shifter.

As if I needed something else to worry about.

“Go away,” I say over my shoulder, but I don’t look back. “I’m going for a walk. I need some fresh air.”

“You can’t really expect me to let you go into the woods on your own. There could be more men out there.”

“I don’t expect you to ‘let’ me do anything. You aren’t my dad or my boyfriend. You sure as hell aren’t my lover. So wherever you got the idea that you get to tell me what to do, you can go right ahead and shove it up your ass.”

I’m being a little harsh. Well, honestly, I’m being more than a little harsh, but I just don’t have the patience for him right now. I don’t know if I ever did.

When we kissed, I felt alive. I felt free. When his lips melted against mine, I felt safer than I ever have before, so why the rejection?

Having him turn me down hurts worse than being attacked did because it’s stabbing me to my core. My heart
hurts
. I really let myself like him. Why did I do that? There’s a reason I’m so guarded all the time. When you’re guarded, you don’t let anyone in, and you
don’t get hurt.

I’ve had enough loss in my life to last me five lifetimes. My parents died. My brother is a murderous psycho. My grandmother was killed in front of me. I’ve probably been replaced at work. I have no friends.

And my pet wolf is actually a super hot guy who doesn’t want to fuck me.

And oh, I really, really, really want him to want to fuck me.

I walk down the path and around the bend into the woods. I shouldn’t be out here. Not after this morning. Not after everything.

Somehow, it seems right, though.

I close my eyes and breathe in the scent of the wilderness. Pine trees, oaks, and maples fill this forest and I don’t intend to waste anymore time feeling sorry for myself about ol’ Nash.

I know he’s following me, but I ignore him as I walk along the trail. I don’t say anything because I don’t have anything to say. I’m tired. I’m worn out. I wanted to feel close to him, so I basically threw myself at him.

Only, he didn’t want me.

And it just reminds me that no one ever has.

I’ve never had a serious boyfriend or a serious friend or a serious
anything
. The only person who was always there for me was my grandmother, and she’s long gone now. I try not to think about the fact that Jeffrey might have held a funeral for her. I try not to think about him organizing a search party to find me. Has he told the human world that I’ve been kidnapped?

Has he told people I may have died?

What lies has he spewed in the name of honor?

I step on a rock and my foot starts to bleed, but I ignore it and keep moving. I just need…something. I don’t even know what. I just need to sit and think and breathe for a little bit and then everything will be okay.

Finally, I find a large boulder and I scurry up. I sit and pull my legs up to my chest, wrapping my arms around them tightly. The stone is cool against my bottom as I sit there, overlooking a clearing in the forest.

Nash is nearby. I can sense him.

I don’t want to talk to him.

The tears begin to fall sooner than I’d like and I hate the fact that he knows I’m crying over him. I never wanted to cry over him. I only wanted someone – anyone – to think I was worth it. I know he risked his life for me.

He didn’t have to.

I’ve given him
nothing
and he risked his life for me. Nash was incredible. No, I didn’t watch the fighting, but I heard enough to know he took on all those wolves without backup.

He was fierce and powerful and strong.

And he doesn’t want me.

I sit on the rock and feel sorry for myself until I suddenly feel his warm body next to me. I peek over and see him sitting on the rock by me. He scoots over until our sides are touching, then he rests his chin on my head. Nash wraps his arms around me and I melt into him.

That kiss.

The way we kissed was so perfect.

I want more.

I don’t know why he’s holding me, but I don’t want to move. I just want more of him, all of him.

“You don’t want me,” I whisper. I instantly regret saying the words. They sound so needy, so whiny, but they’re true. He pushed me away. He didn’t want me.

“I want you,” he says, but I don’t know what to believe. “But you’ve had a long day, baby. I don’t want to take advantage of the state you’re in.”

“I’m not in any kind of state,” I protest, but I know he’s right. My heart has been broken and pieced back together all day, all week. And the truth is that I don’t know if I can hold myself together much longer. I’m missing everything. Everything I valued, everything that was a part of me is gone now.

Grandmother is gone now.

I’m never going to see her again.

And I almost died. I almost vanished. I was almost horribly raped and tortured and hurt.

And Nash saved me.

I’ve been crying for awhile when I finally notice the tears streaming down my cheeks. Just as quickly as they appear, Nash kisses them away. His mouth is soft on my skin. His hands play gently with my hair as he kisses away each bit of pain I’m feeling, each little hurt, each part of my mind and my heart that’s been broken beyond repair.

When I stop crying, he picks me up and carries me home. Then Nash, my sweet, wolfish roommate, puts me to pet with a kiss on the forehead.

“Things will look better tomorrow,” he promises.

But I’m not so sure.