Red Ink (Mad Jackals Brotherhood MC Book 2) (4 page)

She feels the depth of Ray’s sigh. “I was.” Mia pulls her head back, shock widening her eyes. “I told you I came back every now and again. I came back to check on you, to make sure that you were doing all right.” He sighs again, as his expression tells her he’s remembering that day. “I always made sure to be so careful. I’d wear a baseball cap, sunglasses, whatever I could find to stop people from recognizing me. I kept out of sight. But sometimes I couldn’t resist getting a little closer to you. That day I was walking towards you before I’d even realized what I was doing.”

“Why did you stop? Why didn’t you stay and talk to me?” Mia tries to reconcile the idea that she had been wrong all those times about the guy she had seen that looked just like Ray with his admission.

“I wanted to, more than anything.” His eyes shine with feeling. “But what was I supposed to say? Sorry for disappearing, I’m only back to check that you’re still in one piece, gotta go.” His mouth twists in a grimace. “If you’d known I was there, it just would have made things worse.”

“Maybe.” Maybe not, she thinks to herself but stops short of saying the words out loud. Ray clearly has his reasons for behaving the way he had. Besides, what good will it do now just to rehash the past? What is done is done. There is nothing that can change what had already happened.

“What else?” Ray whispers the words by her ear, making her shiver and forcing her to lose her train of thought.

“What else what?” Her voice comes out breathless, full of need.

“What else did you want to say to me?” She feels Ray smile against her cheek.

“You don’t give up, do you?” She shakes her head, laughing at his determination.

“Not until I get what I want.” He locks eyes with her in a way that tells her in no uncertain terms that she is what he wants. “You told me you loved me before I left. But you never answered my question about how you feel now.”

Mia bites her lip, suddenly feeling nervous, but she covers it with humor. “Let’s not start a tally on questions left unanswered, because I’m pretty sure I’d win!” She laughs lightly but sobers when she sees the serious expression on Ray’s face.

“Tell me, Mia.” His voice is soft but there’s a commanding tone that tells her he will not give up until he’s gotten what he wants from her.

“What do I get in exchange?” She smiles at him, flirtatiously, watching as his eyes darken.

“You get a prize.” His answering smiles maker her melt inside.

“Will I like it?” She can barely breathe.

“Oh, I can guarantee you won’t be disappointed.” Ray’s grin turns wicked and it just makes him look even sexier, if that is possible.

Chapter Seven

She takes a deep breath, closing her eyes as if it’ll make it easier to open her heart, to make herself completely vulnerable. “I’ve always loved you, Ray.”

She opens her to eyes to see his eyes flare with a mix of emotions: happiness, relief, all quickly replaced by the steely determination she knows so well. “Don’t talk in the past tense, Mia. Tell me how you feel now, right now. I need to hear it.”

The entreaty in his voice makes her realize how much this means to him, that he needs to hear what she has to say as much as she needs to tell him. They’d wasted enough years. It was time. “I love you, Ray. You’re the one. You always have been.”

She barely manages to finish her sentence before his mouth is on hers, taking possession of her and kissing her so deeply she moans against him, only pulling away to catch her breath.

“Where’s my prize?” She gasps as Ray nips at her neck, finding the sensitive spot that he’d claimed as his own. The pheromones firing between them make her feel like she’s going crazy.

“It’s right here for you, baby.” He covers her hand with his leading it to the bulge in his jeans. She licks her lips, palming him through his pants and wishing that there wasn’t anything between them. “I’m going to make you scream, Mia.” His breath is hot in her ear and her whole body vibrates at his words. “I’m going to make you beg and you’re going to love every minute of it. But I’m going to do it my way, because you’re mine.” Gently, he frames her jaw with his hands and locks gazes with her, his blue eyes dark and full of lust. “Do you understand?”

Mia bites her lip, nodding quickly.
Mine.
She likes the sound of that. There is something primal and basic about being claimed like that and she knows  there isn’t anything she wants more than to be possessed by Ray.

He slips his hands down below the waist of her jeans and touches the bare skin he finds there. Mia watches with satisfaction as his eyes widen at the realization she’s wearing a thong. She pushes her hips against his groin, feeling his hardness against the sensitive spot between her legs. She desperately wants to touch him, to feel his skin against hers. Blindly, she pushes at his t-shirt, not wanting to break contact with his mouth.

Ray stills her hands and pulls back an inch from her mouth. “Remember. This is my way.” Then he plunges his tongue back into her again, invading every part of her mouth, reminding her that she is all his. She opens herself to him, letting him do whatever he wants to her. She needs this as much as he does.

He makes quick work of her jeans, pushing them down over her hips, exposing the thong he’d been so enticed by. He moans something against her lips that she can’t make out.

“What?” Her question is spoken against his mouth, licking her lips to taste him.

“I said you’re perfect, so fucking perfect.” He focuses his attention on her top, pushing it over her head and unhooking her bra in one smooth movement. He fills his hand with her breast, marveling at how perfectly it fits, as if it were made for him, just for him.

He ducks his head, scraping her nipples against his teeth, making her gasp and arch against him, her knees going weak with need for him. The pheromones firing between them are driving her crazy, stimulating every nerve ending in her body. Weakly, she pushes at his jeans, needing to touch him.

But Ray has other plans. He slips his fingers down over her panties, following the line of her landing strip and then pushes the lace to one side, stroking her softly, spreading her wetness before pushing through her folds. She moans deeply, squirming against his touch as his fingers go to work on her, spreading her and rubbing her clit at the same time.

“Ray. Please.” Her words come out in a whisper and she feels her legs tremble, like she’s barely able to stand.

He gently guides her down to the soft rug on the floor, as if he knows her legs won’t hold her up for much longer. He stretches her out, kissing from the side of her mouth, down her neck and over the silky mounds of her breasts, still stroking her insistently between her legs.

She cries out as he flicks her clit, the current of pleasure flooding throughout her body. “Please. Ray. I need you.” Her pleas fall on deaf ears.

“Not yet, baby. I want to see you explode first. I want you to come harder than you’ve come before.” He cuts off her protest with a deep kiss that makes her tremble underneath him.

His words turn her on more than she thought possible. He inserts a third digit inside of her, rubbing her clit and that’s what sends her over the edge. She flings her head back, reveling in the pleasure that he’s sent pulsing through her entire body. Little fireworks seem to go off in her brain and she relaxes, limp against the softness of the rug

But Ray is nowhere near done with her. Vaguely she’s aware of him dropping his pants and she reaches out to grasp his shaft, squeezing him lightly and rubbing the head, enjoying the gasp of pleasure she elicits from the beautiful man in front of her. He leans over her kissing her tenderly, exploring her mouth with his expert tongue.

“I love you, Mia.” He says the words that she’d been desperate to hear against her lips before he kisses her again, obliterating any reply.

“Say it again.” She can barely concentrate on getting her words out.

Ray’s blue eyes dance with amusement and desire, a desire that burns as hot as hers does. “I love you, Mia. I always have.”

She reaches up for him, bringing his face down to hers, kissing him hard and long as she pushes her naked body against his. She closes her eyes to feel every sensation even more intensely. His hardness against her thigh makes her wriggle in anticipation. “Ray. Please. I need you…I need you inside of me.” She ends on a gasp as his hand moves to her wetness, her skin so sensitive she feels like she might scream.

Gently, but insistently, Ray raises her up onto her knees and then turns her around, pushing her down until she’s on all fours. “Just like this, baby. This is how I want to take you.”

Mia doesn’t think she’d be able to speak even if she had wanted to. Instead she pushes back, wriggling her ass against his hard cock. She hears his sharp intake of breath and then a string of curses.

“What?” She could almost scream in frustration, she needs him now.

“I didn’t bring any with me. Goddammit!”

Mia instantly knows what he’s talking about and it’s a decision that she’d already made. “It doesn’t matter.” She pushes against him again, hearing the answering growl in his throat.

“Mia, are you sure?” There he goes being all understanding and patient again and she wants shout at him to fuck her. “I’ve always been careful. I’m clean.”

“I’ve never had unprotected sex either.” She smiles to herself at the knowledge that this would be a first time for both of them. “Now are we done talking or -,”

Ray cuts off whatever she’s about to say by brushing his tip against her wet entrance. She pushes her ass against him, gasping as he pushes open her slick folds. But then he stops, just at her entrance, making her squirm against him. She can feel him trembling behind her, telling her his pleasure is as intense as her is.

Slowly, exquisitely slowly, he slides into her inch by unbearable inch, pushing her open and filling her up. She gasps as she feels her body shaping itself around him. Ray plants his hands on her hips and pulls out of her until only the tip remains. She makes a sound of frustration, pushing against him, desperate for him to fill her again. That’s when he starts to move, slipping into her again, slowly, controlling his movements.

“Dammit, Ray, faster.” She feels so tightly wound, desperate for him to give her what she needs. This feel of him slowly sliding inside of her it’s the best kind of torture, keeping her pleasure on a knife-edge. She feels like she could topple over at any moment, but she needs him to move, to pound into her.

She squeezes her muscles, clamping down on him and hears his groan as the sensation rocks through him. “Mia, stop. I won’t last if you do that.” His words come out through gritted teeth and Mia smiles to herself, loving the fact that she’s turning him on as much as he is her. They’re perfectly in tune.

“I don’t want you to last.” She can barely get the words out as she wriggles against him. “I want you to fuck me. Please.”

Her plea undoes him and he starts to move faster, his hold on her hips tightening as he picks up the pace. “Mia, hold on.” His words come out as a deep growl as he pounds into her.

She moves in unison with him, pushing up against her as he rams into her again and again. He was doing what she’d asked, what she’d pleaded him to do; he was fucking her like he’d never been so turned on in his life. Waves of pleasure start to overtake her body and she knows that she’s close, knows that the heat starting in her pussy is about to spread throughout her whole body.

As if he can read her mind, Ray reaches between them and thumbs her clit while he thrusts into her harder and harder. She cries out, her whole body convulsing in bliss at the most intense orgasm she’s ever experienced. He shouts her name behind her as he spurts his pleasure inside of her.

Her knees threaten to give way and Ray gently takes hold of her waist, sliding out of her slowly and laying her down on her back, pulling her close, his arm around her shoulder and his fingers stroking her hair. She breathes a sigh of contentment against his chest, feeling beyond satisfied, beyond happiness.

Chapter Eight

Within a week, Ray had all but moved into her place. She’d had to stifle the insistent nagging in her brain that this wasn’t the way relationships were supposed to work. They were supposed to date, to learn more about each other, decide if they are compatible and then talk about living together. But her relationship with Ray seemed to defy all the set rules.

Besides, it wasn’t as if they were strangers, meeting for the first time. She and Ray already knew all there was to know about each other. At least, he knew all about her. He was still having trouble opening up to her. Some things would slip out occasionally, but he would clam up as soon as she pushed him on it. He’d told her that he would tell her everything when he was ready. Mia knew from her work at the women’s shelter that you couldn’t push someone to talk to you. The more you tried, generally the further they shrank into themselves. So she resolved not to push; she’d let him come to her whenever he was ready. It had been a challenge though.

She’d tried her luck with a few leading questions. She’d asked about his mom, if he knew what had happened to her. After Ray had left she’d never gone back. The bank foreclosed on her house, sold it to a new family. It was like she’d disappeared just as much as Ray had. Ray’s expression had hardened, a shadow passing over his handsome features.

“I don’t know what happened to her. She was a junkie. Whatever it was it can’t have been good.” He’d said the words in the same way you would talk about someone that you barely knew. He had never been close to his mom, but he had cared about her, that much Mia knew. But she’d left it alone. She’d asked him a question and he’d answered. She couldn’t get on his back for doing exactly what she’d asked of him. Then the subject of money had come up.

“I’ll pay my own way, Mia. I’m not used to mooching off anyone.” Ray’s jaw had been set in that defiant way of his that made him look like he was carved out of marble.

“It’s not mooching, Ray. Think of it as a loan, just until you get yourself together, find a job, you know.” Mia waves vaguely as she put the shopping from the market away. That’s how this had all started. Ray had offered to pay for the groceries and she’d refused and then he’d been silent all the way back home. She’d thought he was sulking like a little kid.

“I don’t need you to support me, Mia. I’m not one of the sad cases at your shelter.” His voice is rough, his words harsh and Mia turns around to look at him in surprise.

“You sound just like Eli.” She can barely contain the simmering anger in her voice. If there is one thing she hated being thrown in her face, it’s the women she helped. Ray knows that and he used it to hurt her.

Instantly, his face softened and his eyes were gentle again as he reached out to her, pulling her towards him. He murmured apologies against her ear as he crushed her to his chest. After a few moments she encircled his waist with her arms, returning his embrace, but his words still troubled her.

“I’m sorry, Mimi. I was out of line. Sometimes I shoot my mouth off before my brain has a chance to catch up. I didn’t mean it. You know I think what you do for those women is incredible, I would never disrespect what you do.” He looks so sorry and so sincere that it’s almost enough for Mia to forget his harsh words, almost.

“It’s all right. It’s fine, really.” She puts on a brave smile for him and gently disengages herself from his hold, turning around again to empty the brown bags. “I just don’t want you to have to worry about money when you’re starting over. You’ve got enough stuff to deal with right now.” She’s surprised when Ray takes hold of her hand, stilling her and wordlessly he leads her to the bedroom.

She watches as he opens her wardrobe and fiddles around inside until she hears a click and then what sounds like something heavy moving. Her eyes widen as Ray pulls out a wooden plank, what she recognizes as the false bottom of the wardrobe. Then he lifts something heavy out. Wordlessly, he opens the bag he’s hidden away in a place even she didn’t know existed and her hand flies to her mouth as she takes in a startled breath. The bag is filled with cash.

She doesn’t take any steps towards it but from where she’s standing she can clearly see piles of Benjamin Franklins neatly stacked in clear plastic. She can feel Ray’s eyes on her, but she can’t seem to pull her attention away from the thousands of dollars that, only a moment ago, were just sitting in the false bottom of her bedroom furniture.

“What? Where…?” Mia swallows hard, kicking her brain into gear. “Where did that come from?”

Ray zips up the bag silently, placing it back in its hiding place. “I didn’t show this to you to freak you out, Mia.” He straightens once he’s happy that the cash has been replaced out of sight. “I just want you to know that you don’t have to worry about money or about me. I want you to feel secure.”

Mia hears a strangled laugh and is surprised to find that it comes from her own throat. “You want me to feel secure with all that cash just lying around in my apartment?” She shakes her head at Ray’s flawed logic. “Where the hell did it come from?”

Ray rubs his forehead but he doesn’t avoid her gaze. Instead he returns her stare without flinching. “I didn’t rob a bank if that’s what you’re worried about.” He gives her a lopsided smile that tells her she’s worrying without any need to. “That money is what’s owed to me. I earned it. That’s all you need to know.”

“By ‘that’s all you need to know,’ I’m guessing that means that’s all you plan on telling me?” Mia frowns at him, wondering if she’s letting her feelings for Ray cloud her judgment or if she’s just searching for things to worry about, reasons to suspect Ray of having a darker past than she’ll be able to handle.

Ray’s silence speaks volumes. He’d learnt pretty quickly that the best way to argue with her was to remain silent. It hadn’t taken him long to realize that it drove her crazy and just made her fill the silence herself.

“Fine. I don’t need to know where it came from, at least not for now.” She gives him a pointed look, which he ignores. “But will you at least let me in on the reason that you’re keeping that cash in my wardrobe instead of in the bank, like a normal person?” She crosses her arms over her chest, taking a deep breath to calm herself, not wanting this to turn into an argument over all the things he’s keeping from her.

“I like to have easy access to my cash, to know where it is at all times.” He mimics her posture, crossing his arms over his broad chest and planting his feet wide.

She knows he’s making fun of her, but she doesn’t fall for the bait. “You like to know where it is to get out of town as quickly as possible should the need arise.” Mia fills in the blank with her own supposition, wishing he would tell her she’s got it all wrong, that she’s being paranoid.

“Something like that. You can never be too careful.” Ray shrugs as if to suggest living like that is completely normal when, to Mia, it’s anything but.

“Right.” Her voice is flat, telling him she isn’t buying a word he’s saying, but it doesn’t seem to bother Ray.

He closes the distance between them, reaching out and cupping her face in his hands. Automatically she leans into him, his deft fingers finding the knots of tension in the back of her head and working them out. “Do you trust me, Mia?” Ray’s simple question rings right to the core of Mia’s thinking, as if he’d read what was in her eyes.

She remains silent, trying to figure out how long her trust in him will hold out against the knowledge that he is keeping so many secrets from her. How long can she trust someone who refused to trust her in return? “I do.” She nods, not giving voice to any of the fears circling around her brain.

“Then trust me that I’ll tell you everything you need to know when the time is right.” The sincerity shining in Ray’s eyes had won out over any doubts that she’d had. He had a habit of being able to break through any barriers to her better judgment. He was like a human battering ram.

“I should get started on dinner.” Mia pulls away from him, needing some space to think, outside of the reach of his arms. When she’s in his vicinity everything gets a little blurry, a little confused in her own head. It becomes hard to concentrate on anything but him and how easily her body responds to him.

“Hey.” Ray grabs hold of her hand before she can turn away from him and looks at her with that intense gaze of his. “We haven’t had a real date yet.” He smiles at her with those devastatingly sexy lips of his.

“You’ve pretty much moved into my house, Ray. I think we’re kind of past the dating phase.” She smiles ruefully, a shiver running down her spine as he strokes the back of her hand with his thumb.

“I don’t think our relationship exactly follows the dating rules according to Mia.” Ray flashes a grin at her that warms her between her thighs. “I want to take you out on a real date. I want to treat you like you deserve to be treated, Mia.” He fingers the curly hair that falls in waves around her face.

“What did you have in mind?” She edges closer to him, not being able to resist the pheromones that seem to block all rational thought from her normally logical brain.

“Dinner and a movie? Standard date night.” Ray shrugs and then smiles down at her, his gaze warm. “A scary movie that will make you jump so you won’t notice my hand creeping up around your shoulders. Then at the end of the night, I’ll lean in and try to kiss you.”

Mia feels her heart beating faster and her breath coming in short pants as he describes what had been their first date. “You still remember it.” She barely breathes the words out.

“How could I not? I was out of my mind with nerves the whole time!” Ray lets out a low, deep laugh and Mia wonders at how young and carefree he looks, not like the brooding man that came back to her after all those years.

“You were nervous?” She doesn’t even bother to try to contain her shock. “I thought you were the experienced one; it’s not like it was your first time dating!”

Ray levels her with a serious look. “It was my first time dating you and that was a whole different ball game.”

“Why?” Mia can’t resist asking the question.

Ray had been the rebel who every girl in high school lusted after. He’d done a pretty good job of working his way through the cheerleaders while they were still just friends. Mia had known Ray had been around the block more than a few times. Eli had jokingly referred to him as a man-whore, but he’d seemed more jealous of Ray’s luck with the ladies rather than disgusted. Eli hadn’t filled out yet; he was still a scrawny kid that hadn’t blossomed into the handsome man he would eventually become. Looking back at it, Mia sees that Eli must have felt like he was living in Ray’s shadow. They all did; Ray had been bigger than life in high school. He’d commanded attention as soon as he walked into any room. He still did. He was impossible to ignore.

“Because you weren’t like the other girls, not to me.” Ray strokes her cheek, leaning down so his gorgeous face fills her field of vision. “I wanted so badly to play it cool, to act like it was no big deal.” Ray shakes his head at his younger self, like he can’t believe he was so naïve. “But my heart was pounding out of my chest, my palms were sweaty, I was a mess! You never noticed?” He looks down at her questioningly, like he can’t believe that he got away with it.