Red Hourglass (3 page)

“Because you’re worth it,” he said and gave me a peck on the cheek. “You’re different … a nerdy but fearless girl.”

He kissed my lips deeply and fondled my body. His fingers played me like a string instrument and I sang to his touch. With the stars as our witnesses, time seemed to stop in that moment.

Leave

Max dropped me off at the farm after a short motorcycle ride. I noticed that the sunflowers were withering in the scorching summer heat. The climate was becoming increasingly unpredictable. When it affected the yearly harvests it made my stepfather’s mood worse.

Tonight was the night. Max would come back at midnight and we’d start our new life together.

I made dinner for my stepfather and then shut myself in my room. I stuffed as much of my life into my backpack as I could, and I strapped a thick canvas pouch to the bottom of the pack.

I’d become quite skilled with blades. After my soft toy massacre, I moved on to large melons, bird carcasses, and legs of lamb when I could trade some of our farm produce for one. My cuts and slices were now fast and precise. I gathered up all the knives, daggers, and scalpels that I’d hidden around my room and put most of them in the canvass pouch. I slid a tight-fitting leather sheath over the blade of my favorite dagger and tucked it in the waistband of my jeans, and I slipped a switchblade in my back pocket.

A few minutes before midnight, I grabbed my overstuffed backpack and crept out of my room. I couldn’t open the front door. It had a new dead bolt and I didn’t have a key.

The television was off and I looked over my shoulder. My stepfather was on the sofa, cradling a can of beer and puffing away on a cigar in the dark.

“I knew you were planning to run away with that boyfriend of yours you slut!” he yelled, shattering the still night air. He squeezed the can and I heard the sound of metal being crushed. “You’ll never leave this place, ever!”

He got up and staggered toward me. His eyes were bloodshot and his breath reeked of alcohol. He gave me a hard smack across the face that sent me crashing to the floor.

“I’ll never let you leave me!” He pounced on me and began pulling at my shirt, revealing my bra.

“Leave me alone!” I shrieked as I struggled beneath his weight.

“You’re exactly like your mother! I won’t let you leave me like Matilda did!”

His eyeballs were bulging out of his head and veins were pulsating in his sweaty neck. He tried to pull down my jeans with his grubby hands and I screamed as loudly as I could.

“Shut up you little whore! No one can hear you out here!” He slapped me across the face and unzipped my jeans.

I was screeching in terror. The disgusting drunk maggot was going to rape me and I had to do something. I couldn’t reach my dagger, so I pulled out my switchblade.

“STOP!” I shouted as I sat up with all my strength. I flashed my blade in front of his eyes and jabbed the tip into his neck. “GET OFF ME!”

“How dare you!” he yelled, grabbing for my wrists. “This is my house and I’ll do what I like!”

I was twisting and turning, using my body to push against him with all my might, but he wouldn’t get off me. I began swinging my arms wildly and the switchblade glided across his neck.

“Yooooou … murderous … bitch,” he gurgled in horror as blood spilled from his gaping mouth and gushed out his severed carotid arteries.

He instinctively put both hands to his neck before collapsing on top of me. His hot, purple-black blood poured all over my clothes. I pushed him aside and rolled out from under him.

“You … won’t … get … away … with …” he coughed and spluttered as the last of his black blood drained from his body.

My heart hardened as I witnessed his demise. I couldn’t believe that my stepfather tried to touch me, but I didn’t mean to kill him. I just wanted to cut him, to scare him off. He attacked me first. I had no control over what happened.

I felt his sticky black blood seeping through my clothes like a plague. I rushed into the bathroom and saw myself in the mirror. The sight of his blood smeared all over me made my hair stand on end and I jumped back. I peeled off my clothes and scrubbed the remains of his filth off my skin as fast as I could. Then I bleached my switchblade.

I went to my bedroom and put on clean clothes. I carefully placed my bloodstained bra, panties, T-shirt, and jeans in a plastic bag.

I put my switchblade in the pocket of my clean jeans and went to the living room. I stuffed the plastic bag in my backpack and looked for my sheathed dagger. Somehow, it wasn’t covered in blood and I slipped it into my waistband.

Bending over the motionless body of my stepfather, I placed my fingers under his nostrils. There was no breath.
He was dead.

I’ve killed my stepfather
. I couldn’t believe it. It was terrifying being in a room with a dead body … that I’d killed. I had to get out of there.

I reached into his pocket and pulled out a shiny new key. My heart was pounding as I picked up my backpack and went to the door. The key worked and I let out a sigh of relief. I locked the door behind me and ran into the yard.
I can never return home
.

Max was waiting for me. “What took you so long? Come on, hurry up.”

Cold sweat was dripping down my forehead and I was panting as I climbed on the back of his motorcycle.

“Did you take all the stuff you need?”

“Yes. Everything’s in my backpack.” I was trying to hide my shock. I held on to Max as tightly as I could and rested my head on his back. I wanted to cry, but I forced my eyes shut to stop my tears.

“Is your stepfather all right with you moving?”

“I got him settled.”

“Good, let’s go.”

He started the engine and the vibrations hummed through my body as we rode away. I couldn’t open my eyes.

When we got to Max’s house I took my belongings into his room. He had a spare drawer in his dresser and I unloaded everything into it. I kept the plastic bag with the bloody clothes in my backpack, careful not to let Max see it.

It was only a matter of time before the police found my stepfather’s corpse and came looking for me. If they questioned me, I’d deny everything and pretend that I was innocent, but I knew I’d probably end up in a juvenile prison. At least I could spend my remaining days of freedom with Max.

It was awful being afraid of getting caught by the police. I knew I had to lie low, but I still needed to get rid of my bloody clothes. The next day, I asked Max if I could go for a ride on his bike to clear my head. I took the plastic bag with my bloody clothes up into the hills and threw it in the lake.

* * *

Max’s parents were mostly indifferent about me moving in. At first, they treated me like I was just his friend. They didn’t ask many questions, but his mother began setting a place for me at the dinner table.

They talked about sending Max to college, and I secretly wished that I’d grown up in a good family. I wondered why my mother didn’t take me along when she left. Things might’ve been different for me if she’d been around. I wouldn’t have had to kill anyone if I’d been raised in this family.
Life isn’t fair
.

The only thing keeping me in the town was Max. He’d helped me escape from my stepfather, and he’d promised not to tell people that I was staying with his family. He said he’d tell anyone who asked where I was that I’d left to find work.

Max’s parents owned a clothes shop in town, and they usually came home late. I began helping out with the housework and making dinners.

One evening, Max’s mother came home early. “The house is sparkling clean and tidy,” she gasped in awe as she stood in the doorway.

“I’ve just been doing some housework to keep busy,” I said. “Thank you for letting me stay here.”

“You’re a sweet girlfriend for Max. You should go with him when he leaves for college.”

“That’s nice of you to say.” I giggled. His mother was so kind. “I’ve made soup. It’s on the stove.”

“Thank you dear.” She walked into the kitchen and lifted the lid off the soup pot to take a look. “Have you applied to college?”

“Not yet. I’m waiting to see where Max goes.” In reality, college wasn’t an option for me. Once I left this place, no one could ever know my name, where I was from, or where I was going.

I was acting like everything was normal, but I rarely left the house. Their home became my refuge. My days were spent cleaning, cooking, and reading their books.

* * *

After school was out for the summer, Max got a job as a pizza delivery boy. I’d been living with his family for a month, and it was only a matter of time before people began asking serious questions about my stepfather. I was getting nervous about sticking around, and I tried to talk to Max about it one night.

“We’ll be moving soon, so you can go to college,” I said. “Why don’t we just move now? Let’s go to New York City.”

“Hold on Mary. I don’t even know if I got into NYU. We’ll move after I get the acceptance letter. Okay?”

“I don’t think I can wait that long. I’m afraid that my stepfather will find us. I think I should move now. Come with me, please.”

“You don’t have to worry about that.” Max cuddled up to me. “No one’s going to find you.”

“I’ll give you a week to think about it … at most,” I said. “After that, I have to leave.”

“Okay, a month it is.”

“I said a week.”

“I know, but I have a job. I have to give four weeks’ notice, otherwise they’ll never give me a good recommendation.”

“Four weeks is a really long notice period. Isn’t it usually two weeks?”

“Well, you know those guys. They’re sort of weird about stuff.”

“Hmm, I guess.”

Max’s hadn’t been his usual self since he got his job, and I really didn’t like his answer. We talked less and less, and he’d been coming home later and later. He also left for work hours before his shift.

* * *

I was feeling blue the next day, and I decided to take a walk by our old school. I was risking being spotted, but I felt like going back there would help me remember the good times.

As I walked by the school gates, I saw him smooching a girl at the pillar where we’d met that first day after school. I’d always suspected that this day would come. He did have a playboy reputation.
Why did I bother with him at all
? I ran away with a heaviness in my chest.

I heard fast footsteps clomping up behind me. Max grabbed me by the arm and whipped me around to face him.

“Mary …”

“Keep your mouth shut. I saw everything.”

“No. You have to listen to me.”

“I don’t have to do anything you tell me. You men are all the same. You’re all jerks. My stepfather, you …”

“Please, let me explain.”

“You don’t have to explain what just happened between you and her,” I said, pointing at the bewildered girl covering her mouth. “I’m just another one of your scores … one of the many girls you’ve slept with. You were just using me, but it’s okay. I knew what you were before I went out with you.”

“I’m not using you Mary … I swear.”

“Well I was using you! I just wanted to find out what it feels like to sleep with someone! Now I’m done with you. Happy?!” I shouted at the top of my voice, letting out all my pent up frustration.

“I’m sorry.” He tried to pull me closer. “I still love you.”

“Then it’s too bad that I don’t love you anymore.” I pushed him away and felt for the knife in my back pocket.

“Mary, don’t be like that. You still love me. You know you do.” He stepped closer and hugged me.

Memories of our nights on top of the hill flooded my vision.

“You feel our connection too,” he said. “I know you do. Don’t you?”

“If there was ever a connection between us, you broke it.” I pushed him away and took out my pocketknife. “Stay away from me! I’m warning you!” I waved my knife at him.

“Chill girl. Put the knife down,” he said, stepping back. “You know I really love you.”

“Lies! You’re just full of a bunch of lies! I never should’ve believed anything you said!”

I threw my knife toward the pillar and the terrified girl ducked in time. My blade landed on the pavement with a loud clink.

I ran as fast as I could over to Max’s motorcycle. Luckily, the keys were in the ignition as usual. I jumped on the bike and sped off down the road.

If the police didn’t already know about my stepfather, they’d know soon enough. I had to get out of town. I rode to Max’s house and stuffed my possessions into my backpack, and then I took all the cash I could find.

I headed for the highway as fast as I could. A part of me felt like crashing—smashing up his pride and joy and my pathetic life in one fell swoop. Then I realized that I’d wanted to leave this place for as long as I could remember. I always knew this day would come, and it was finally here. I was free of him and everything else in that town.

I followed the signs toward the big city … Manhattan. I was on a one-way trip, never to return. I was as free as the wind.

Landing

The bike came to a spluttering halt at the base of the Williamsburg Bridge. It was out of gas. I abandoned it and started walking.

Dusk was falling and the bright lights of the tall skyscrapers lit up the Manhattan sky. The buildings were so tall—the tallest I’d ever seen. They terrified me. I didn’t know where I was going, but I knew I had to keep walking.

Is Manhattan the city my stepfather told me my mother left me for
? I recalled her faint voice trailing away as she disappeared into the sunflower field. My stepfather called her Matilda, and her last name must’ve been Summers. Matilda Summers. I was sure that was her name.

Neon shop signs bathed the sidewalks in rainbow shades, but this place was still scary and overwhelming. The people hurried around without looking at anyone or anything. They either stared directly ahead or at their cell phones, never stopping to talk or look at the flowers or trees.

I wanted to ask someone where I could go to get help in this new place, but I didn’t dare approach anyone. I was isolated and disconnected from everything. I felt like a tiny lone rat.