Red Hots (18 page)

All
her emotions were caught up in her voice, giving her words a snap as if each
word was cut on a chopping block.

“You
see, that year my mother started going into work early and coming home really
late. Lots of important evening clients to show houses to.” She looked away
again. “She never said she’d be home, just kissed me before I got out of the
car. It wasn’t until my dad and I got home that we saw the letter on the kitchen
counter. She fell in love with a co-worker and moved away to start a business
with him.”

“People
can be extremely selfish at times in the name of love or what they perceive as
the lack of love.”

Kindle
turned and looked at him. There was a hint of a question in her gaze.

He
realized that perhaps he’d said too much and allowed some of his own thoughts
to intrude. Before she could question him, he asked, “Have you seen her since?”

Exhaling,
Kindle stood and started down the path, at a slower pace this time. “No. I
received cards every year for birthdays, Christmas and Easter.”

“Seems
pretty cliché.” He was pissed that a woman could leave her child, Kindle for
that matter, and never have contact with them again. “You think your dad
refused her any contact with you?”

“No.
He changed after that. I mean, he was always intensely consumed by his work,
but he stopped smiling and put all his focus on publishing professional papers,
his job and me. Having a successful career was the only thing a person had
control over, he’d say.”

Masaun
started to understand who Kindle Langston was now. The real woman behind the
tough professional exterior. She had a big heart that he knew from Kindle’s
reaction to her child client taking the stand. Anyone could clearly see she was
smart and talented, very good at her job. However, the effects of the job he
could see having on her concerned him.

“You
ever consider opening up your own practice?”

She
paused and stared at him, her brows puckered slightly in a frown. “Why would I
do that? My career in the last six months has reached a pinnacle that few in
our…rather my career achieve.”

He
started them walking again. “That’s true, but that doesn’t necessarily mean
that it’s the right career for you.”

“You
know we all can’t quit our jobs and open up a candy shop.”

It
was his turn to halt.

She
stopped also, but kept her gaze averted.

Continuing
to stare at her silently, he waited.

Finally,
she turned and looked at him. He had the urge to drag her to the bench four
feet away from them and flip her onto his thighs and spank her ass right there
before anyone who wanted to observe. Not because he was ashamed of his business;
it was his choice and he wouldn’t turn back the hands of time for anything.
But, it was because Kindle was hurting emotionally, he’d brought her attention
to the scars on her heart and she was being snarky as a defense mechanism to
lash out instead of opening up.

“I’ve
had my success litigating for high-rollers; almost too much for any one man to
have. However, success is like a card game. It is not about being in the game
but knowing when it’s time to get up from the table.” He placed his hand on her
forearm. The blazer she now wore covered her skin, but he could still feel the
warmth through it. “You don’t have to give up what you love, just consider if
there’s another way to do it.”

She
nodded, showing she’d heard his words, but remained quiet.

He
removed his hand and they continued on the path with the rest of the zoo
traffic. They passed a family of five, the three kids seated on a bench
finishing up ice cream cones. Masaun noticed the father was stooped before the
youngest child, the only boy, and was wiping the smeared chocolate from his son’s
face. Masaun couldn’t help but smile.

He’d
never thought about having kids or even a family much during his career as a
lawyer.  With the demands of his job and moving from one woman to another, he’d
always made sure to use protection. When he started the business with his
brother, there just didn’t seem to be time between that and The Dollhouse. His
ex was just as career driven as he had been so the conversation of children
never came up.

Turning
away, his gaze met Kindle’s, who he saw was taking in the view of the family as
well.

“He
sure did enjoy that ice cream,” she said, waving at the little boy when he
glanced at her.

“I
guess it’s not worth eating if you don’t get it all over you.” He took her hand
and pulled her away. “Let’s get something to eat.”

She
linked her fingers with his. “Great. I thought you planned to starve me on this
outing.”

“Nope,
just wanted to locate a food stop that had hot wings for you.”

“Oh,
very funny.” She bumped her shoulder against his. He was glad her mood had
lightened again. When she was stressed and tense, it bothered him. The Dom side
of him believed it was because they were in public and he couldn’t do anything
to help her relieve the problem physically. However, the other side of him
recognized it was something different, he wanted to shelter and protect her
from hurt, but it wasn’t his responsibility. But, try as he might, he could not
stop himself from wanting it to be. That made his pulse race and his heart slam
into his chest.

“Tell
me about your childhood, Masaun,” she said, thirty minutes later, after they
had eaten and were sitting on the Safari Sky Ride.

Glancing
away from the zoo below, he glanced at her. “Not much to tell. My brother Sweet
and I had a pretty normal childhood. My brother had some personal issues he had
to work out, but got himself on the right track eventually. We were raised by
our parents in a loving household. We played sports and got into trouble like
most boys then went off to college. Our parents, Carlton and Debra, are now
retired and living in Florida.”

“So,
no tales of an overly cruel parent or anything? Something that made you want to
be a Dom?”

He
chuckled. “No. Nothing like that. I think most people assume that a person has
to go through something traumatic to be drawn to the lifestyle. Rarely is that
the case.” He took her hand in his and gentled his voice. “Those that find
themselves in the lifestyle do it for different reasons but find out that what
it fulfills in their life was something they needed all along. There’s no shame
in that.”

Her
gaze was focused on their hands. “A part of me doesn’t want to like it. I want
to see what we do in your playroom as depraved and unhealthy. Usually, when I
drive to your house I’m fighting those thoughts all the way to your door,
frequently considering turning my car around.”

He
used his thumb to stroke the back of her hand. “Why don’t you?”

She
still didn’t look up from their linked hands, as she confessed, “Because when I’m
there with you feeling the lashes or even the next day when I stand before my
mirror and see the redness and welts, I feel peace.” Her eyes met his. “And it
scares me to be so dependent on something outside of myself.”

Clear,
trusting brown eyes held his.

“It’s
okay. Those feelings are normal.” He squeezed her hand, reassuring her. “I
would never think of you differently if you felt you couldn’t do it anymore.”
His gut tightened with the thought of not having sessions with Kindle any
longer or having her out of his life. But he would let her go if she desired,
as hard as it would be.

“Thank
you.” She leaned into him and kissed his lips softly.

The
ride ended and they disembarked.

“Let’s
go see the Bengal tigers. Those are my favorite.” Still holding his hand, she
tugged at him excitedly.

He
stopped and pulled her into his arms, disregarding the people around them and focusing
on her. This outing had turned out better than he’d anticipated. He figured it
was mostly due to their being away from their normal surroundings and her being
more relaxed without everyone recognizing her face from the trial. “I’m coming,
but only if we get to stop and see the African lions and monkeys on the way.”

“You
got it. Now come on.”

He
kissed her twice on her smiling lips then allowed her to slip away and head
down the walk. 

~YH~

“Tell
me about this love of yours that was selfish.”

Kindle
saw Masaun’s hands tighten briefly on the steering wheel as he drove them along
the eastbound interstate. They were a few miles away from the Hampton Roads
Bridge Tunnel. It was early evening and they’d had a long, but wonderful day
together. She didn’t even regret that she hadn’t gone into the office to work
as she had planned. Tomorrow would give her plenty of time to bury herself in
the case, this had been a much needed break.

“What
makes you think I had a selfish lover?” He didn’t glance in her direction, just
kept his gaze fixed on the road. A sign that the conversation was not one he
wanted to have.

“When
we were at the zoo, you made a comment about my mother’s selfishness. Something
in your tone led me to believe you’d experienced the same in your life. Since
you told me you had the picture perfect childhood, I assume it had to be a
girlfriend…or submissive.”

Finally,
he looked away from the road briefly and gave her a small smile. “I should have
known better than to try and get something past a sharp lawyer.”

“Lesson
learned. Now spill it.”

Entering
the opening of the underwater tunnel. The change from the bright sunshine to
the false fluorescent dull glare encased in the cement was something he’d never
get used to. The only positive about the double-lane tubing was that it made
the atmosphere in the car more intimate—shutting out all view and sounds around
him but Kindle.

Shifting
his gaze toward her for a moment, he warned, “You just remember that turnabout
is fair play.”

“Deal.”

“Naomi
was more like a long-term contracted submissive. Firefly, her scene name, was a
trainee of mine. She was bold, adventurous and enjoyed many levels of bondage,
to a certain extent. We had a mutual attraction and soon after her training was
complete, I invited her to be my permanent submissive. She agreed. We continued
together for a year, what seemed like a perfect match.”

He
paused as he drove out of the tunnel and along the bridge.

“What
happened?” she prompted. She wasn’t sure why she was invested in hearing the
story of his past relationship, but she was. The question of how deeply in love
Masaun had been with his former submissive and was even now harboring a broken
heart weighed on her mind.

“She
got a job offer, a higher paying position in another state and she took it.”

Shocked,
Kindle turned and stared at him. “Just like that?”

“For
the most part. She was a go getter. A hardworking career woman, her career
always came first and I knew that.” He inhaled and let it out. “I understood
what we had was temporary. I wasn’t looking for a long-term relationship and
evidently neither was she. I cared about her, but I didn’t love her. I can only
assume she felt the same toward me.”

She
couldn’t help but feel relieved at his words, but she chalked it up to the
hours she spent getting to know him. Not just as a competent Dom, but as a man.

“Your
turn. Who was your last boyfriend and why did it end?”

“Oh,
gracious, trust me, my love life has not been noteworthy at all.” She stared
out the window and thought of the men she had dated for varied lengths of time.

“Was
there one that got away?”

Shaking
her head, she said, “No, I can’t say there was. Matter fact, my last boyfriend
is actually the defense attorney on this trial.”

His
head snapped in her direction. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“Nope.
Simeon and I broke up a while ago. We’re still friends.”

“What
caused you two to end?” Masaun asked, exiting off the interstate onto Granby
Street.

“I
think the better question would be what caused it to begin.” She sighed.

When
he glanced away from the road at her for a moment with a perplexed look, she
said, “Strange comment I know. However, it’s the question I’m usually left with
after I’ve ended it with someone. Why did the relationship even start?”

“What
do you come up with?”

“We
were friends from school. He was comfortable. We didn’t really ask anything of
each other. So, when we both got bored, it just ended. One day I didn’t call
and he didn’t come over and that was that. We saw each other a few weeks later
in court and we both were fine with it. No hard feelings.”

“Forgive
me for saying this, Kindle. However, I couldn’t imagine as passionate and brave
as you are, in everything you do, that you could be all right with a mediocre
relationship.” He looked at her, his intense laurel eyes holding some message as
he sat at the red light by her condo.

She
was flattered by his words. No one had ever thought of her as passionate
before. “A man that never asked much of me or took my focus away from my career
always seemed to work well for me.” Before, she wanted to add, but kept the
word to herself. Staring into those perceptive eyes, she felt like he could
read her mind and her heart. She had never believed she’d been disappointed in
what she and Simeon, or any other ex, had, until now. Until she met Masaun and
he’d turned her world and everything she believed upside down.