Reclaim Me (The Jaded Series Book 2) (11 page)

“I don’t expect anything, Pix. Would I be opposed to you giving us another try? Fuck no. I would jump for fucking joy to have you again. But I don’t expect it. I still know what I did was wrong, even though I didn’t know it at the time. I still hold myself responsible. I know that what I did is something you could never forgive me for. I just didn’t want you to continue to think that I did it because I didn’t love you enough. You were my entire world back then. I lived and breathed to make you happy. You were my reason for being. I would have given anything to keep that pain from you.”

His words don’t bring me comfort. They just make the pain worse because I believe them with all my heart. The way he treated me, like I was a rare piece of treasure, is something I’ll never have again. What we had was special and precious, not something you get everyday. It was a once in a lifetime kind of love that many people never experience.

“Can I ask you a question?” He asks.

“Yes.”

“Why did you come looking for me upstairs?”

And this is where the other players come into play.

“I had been downstairs talking to Andrew and some friends, when I realized you had been gone for a while. I looked for you all over downstairs and even outside. When I came back inside, I ran into Stacey. She told me that you had given her a message for me to meet you upstairs.”

I should have known right away that something wasn’t adding up. Stacey and Tessa were close friends. Neither Mac nor I ever associated with her. I should have realized that Mac would have never gone to her to give me a message.

“That’s what I thought. And now that you mention the name, I think it was Stacey that told me you were upstairs.”

That doesn’t surprise me. Stacey was always stuck up Tessa’s ass. Two peas in a pod those two were. Stacey wasn’t quite as bad as Tessa, but damn near.

“Dad?” Trent says from the mouth of the hallway. I swing my body in his direction. I completely forgot he was here.

“Yeah, T?” Mac asks, getting up from the couch and facing his son.

“When are we having dinner?”

“In just a bit. How does pizza sound?”

“That’s cool,” he mumbles. I noticed that he does that a lot.

Mac turns to me and asks, “Want to join us?”

His question takes me by surprise. I stand there like an idiot with my mouth hanging open. I notice Trent also standing there watching me, waiting for my answer. I’m not sure, but it looks like he doesn’t want me sticking around. Not to stoop down to Tessa’s level, but I bet not too many kind words have left Tessa’s mouth regarding me, if she’s said anything at all.

As I stand there undecided if I should stay or not, Mac comes to stand in front of me.

“Stay, Pix. Have pizza with us,” he says quietly.

I glance back to Trent and see him eyeing me with trepidation. I don’t blame him. He doesn’t know much about me, and I’m sure he doesn’t trust me because of that. Hell, if I were in his shoes, I wouldn’t trust me either.

When I look back to Mac, he’s standing there watching me. I can see that he really wants me to stay. I just don’t know if I should. Would it lead him to believe that I forgive him? Do I forgive him?

No, I am a long way off from that. I understand now why and how it happened, but I haven’t forgiven him. My anger may have shifted, but I’m just not sure if I could ever say that what he did was okay. The one thing I do know is that I would like to stay for dinner. Yes, it hurts to be around Trent, but I can’t help but want to know more about him. Yes, part of him is Tessa, but the other part is Mac and Mac used to be such a big part of my life.

Making my decision, I tell him, “I’d love to stay.”

The smile he aims my way at my answer brings those long forgotten butterflies to the surface again.

Chapter Ten

Mac

Her charm…

We’re all sitting around the table eating pizza. No one is talking and tension fills the air. I know that Mia isn’t really comfortable in this situation. I know that it’s hard on her being around T. It’s a big slap in the face at the reminder of what happened.

I’m sure Trent isn’t real happy with the situation either. He doesn’t know much about Mia, as he’s not here very often, but he does know that Mia is part of the reason why his mom and I never worked out. He doesn’t know why, but I’m sure he’s heard her name a time or two. I can only imagine what his mom has told him. I’m not exactly sure what’s going on with him lately, but he’s developed an attitude. I plan to talk to him this week to find out what’s going on. We’ve always been close, but he’s closed himself off lately. I don’t like it. I want my easygoing boy back.

It’s hard to keep my eyes off Mia. She hasn’t been here since before her eighteenth birthday. I didn’t realize how much I missed seeing her here, until now. She used to be so comfortable here. It was her second home. It hurts to see the tension in her features now, knowing that it’s because of me. I don’t know why she agreed to stay, but I’m glad she did. Everything I laid on her tonight can’t be easy on her. The end results were the same, but the situation and how it came about must have been a real shock. I can only imagine what she is thinking and feeling right now.

Out the corner of my eye, I see a furry head peeking around the door that leads to the kitchen. I drop my pizza crust on the plate and swivel around in my chair.

“Come here, Loafer,” I say and hold out my hand.

Mia whips her head around in the direction I spoke. Loafer hasn’t been out of my room since she showed up. You can see the surprise on Mia’s face when she sees Loafer peeking around the corner.

Mia looks back to me. “I didn’t know you had a dog.”

I break a piece of the crust off and hold it down to try to entice Loafer to come to me. She takes a couple steps closer. I look over to Mia when I answer.

“She’s skittish, doesn’t like strangers. I adopted her when she was a pup. The shelter said she had been beaten.” I click my teeth at Loafer and we watch in silence as she slowly makes her way over to me. She eyes Mia the whole time, but I’m still surprised she came to me. Normally, she won’t enter a room if there’s someone in there she doesn’t know. She’s fine with kids, took to T right from the start, but not adults.

She gently takes the crust from me and flops down on her butt to eat it. Mia watches her with a sad expression on her face. When we were kids, she loved animals. She slowly reaches her hand out towards Loafer’s back. Loafer tenses and stops eating, but doesn’t scurry away, which also surprises me. I sit stunned when Loafer lets Mia rub her hands along her back. Is it normal for me to be jealous of a dog? I want those soft hands rubbing me.

“She normally doesn’t let anyone touch her, except T and me,” I tell her as she continues to pet Loafer. She looks up with a small smile. Mia reaches up, grabs a piece of her own crust, and offers it to Loafer. Again, she gently takes it and commences eating it, seemingly no longer fazed that Mia is touching her.

“Why the name Loafer? It’s not the traditional dog name.”

I chuckle. “No, I guess it’s not. When I got her all she would eat was bread. Wouldn’t touch dog food or any scraps I tried giving her.”

After a few more minutes of petting Loafer, Mia sits back in her chair.

We lapse into more silence. Just before I open my mouth to say something, Mia speaks up.

“What grade will you be in when school starts back up?” She asks, looking at T.

He pauses in stuffing his face and eyes Mia suspiciously before mumbling, “Sixth.”

Mia looks to me, and I smile at her in encouragement. I like that she’s curious about T. She turns back to him and asks another question.

“That’s middle school. Are you excited?”

Rolling his eyes, he says, “It’s school. Why would I be excited about school?”

I’m just about to get onto him for rolling his eyes when I hear Mia chuckle, the sound is music to my ears. I’ve always loved her laugh, with its soft sound. It’s just one of the thousands of things I’ve missed about her.

“Yeah, I can see your point. I never cared for school either. I just meant that you’ll be going to junior high, a whole new school, and new experiences.”

He again rolls his eyes and mumbles, “Still nothing to be excited about. It’s just a new building.”

I can tell that T’s attitude isn’t deterring her, but I’ve seen enough of it. Therefore, I say, “Eyes and attitude, T.”

He looks up at me, and I can tell he wants to roll his eyes again but doesn’t. He knows he’s pushing the limit.

He goes back to shoveling pizza in his mouth. “How are Taekwondo lessons going? Your mom still taking you?”

He shrugs his shoulders and says, “Yeah, when she has the time, which isn’t very often. Jay’s mom normally picks me up.”

“What do you mean, ‘when she has time’? She only works twenty hours a week. What in the hell else does she do that causes her not to have time to take you to a few classes a week?”

“Don’t know. She’s just gone a lot.”

“Does she leave you alone at the house often?” I ask. Yes, if pushed, T could take care of himself for a few hours, but he’s still just a kid and shouldn’t have to. I look over to Mia, who’s watching us talk with her brows puckered. I can see a barely visible hardness to her eyes, like she’s not liking what she’s hearing. I don’t like it either.

“A few times a week, for a few hours. Doesn’t matter though, I can take care of myself.” He stops talking and then adds something so quietly I don’t hear him.

“What was that?” I ask.

Instead of answering, he glances over to Mia quickly before bringing his eyes back to mine. When I look to Mia, I can tell she’s becoming more uncomfortable the further this conversation goes. T has finished eating and is now avoiding my eyes.

“T, look at me,” I tell him firmly. With reluctance, he brings his gaze back to me. “What did you say?”

Before he can answer, Mia speaks up, “I think I should go.” She tries to stand, but I bring my palm out and grab her arm, bringing her back down into her seat. She huffs out a breath but stays seated.

“No. You stay,” I tell her and swing back to face T. “Speak up, Trent.”

“Dad, really? Do we have to do this in front of
her
?” He says the word ‘her’ in a sneer, and I feel rather than see Mia flinch.

“First, you’ll show her respect. Her name is Mia and she’s a friend of mine. Second, lose the attitude. I don’t know what’s up with you lately, but it stops now. And third—”

“Mac—” Mia tries to interrupt, but I talk over her.

“Yes, we do this right now. Tell me what you said.”

Acting like a true eleven-year old, he crosses his arms over his chest and pouts before saying, “Fine! I said I was used to taking care of myself.”

What the hell?

“Explain, T. You’re eleven. You’re not supposed to be taking care of yourself.” My temper is spiking, and I have to force myself to not show it. I leave my kid with his mother, and I expect her to care for him, as a mother should. Tessa’s not the best mother. I’ve always known that, but it never crossed my mind that she was neglecting him.

In his boy voice, T confirms my suspicions. “She’s not at the house much, and when she is, she doesn’t do anything. She hardly cooks. I have to feed myself most of the time. I have to do my laundry too, or I wouldn’t have anything clean to wear. The dishes are always dirty until I wash them.”

When he’s finished, it takes everything I have not to jump up and go after the bitch.
What the fuck?
What in the hell is she thinking? What is she doing all the time when she’s not there? And when she is, what is she doing? I grit my teeth and ball my hands into fists. My blood’s boiling. There’s something obviously going on, and I intend to find out just what it is. I’ve put up with a lot of shit from her, but when it comes to the care of my son, that’s not something I’m willing to play around with.

“I’ll talk with your mom when she comes to pick you up. We’ll get this straightened out. If she continues what she’s doing after I speak with her, you pick up the phone and call me. This is not cool what she’s doing, and you can bet it’s going to stop. You understand, T?”

“Yeah sure, Dad, whatever,” he says in a tone that says he doesn’t believe me. I turn my chair so I’m completely facing him. I want him to see and hear the seriousness in my eyes and voice.

“I mean it, Trent. This won’t continue. I’ll get it taken care of, but you need to let me know when shit like this happens, okay?”

He weighs my words before replying with, “Okay. Can I go back to my room now?”

I watch him for a minute to make sure he grasps what I’m saying. “Yeah. Put your plate in the dishwasher before you go.”

He picks his plate up and briefly glances at Mia before putting his plate away.

Right before he walks out, Mia says, “It was nice seeing you, Trent.”

Without looking at her, he utters, “Whatever.”

Instead of calling him back to apologize to Mia, I turn to her. “Sorry about that. I knew something was going on, but I had no idea what. He’s had an attitude lately.”

“It’s okay, Sheriff. It’s to be expected.”

I get up from the table and grab both of our plates. After rinsing them, I put them in the dishwasher alongside T’s. I walk over to the fridge, grab out two beers, and hand one to Mia. I lean back against the counter.

“What are you going to do?”

“I’m going talk to Tessa and straighten this shit out,” I tell her. I grip the counter with my hands so hard that I’m surprised the wood doesn’t splinter.

“You’re taking what I told you earlier better than I thought,” I say. I expected more of a reaction from her. Yes, I know I shocked her, but I still thought I would see more emotion than what she’s shown, especially with her temper as of late.

The look she throws my way is hard. Her mouth forms a flat line, and her eyes tighten slightly. “Oh, you better bet your ass I’m fuming inside. I want to hunt the bitch down and beat the living shit out of her. When I think she was just here and I had my opportunity, it makes me want to scream with rage, but it’s pointless. What’s done is done. She’ll eventually get hers.”

Okay, that’s more of the Mia I was expecting. If the situation wasn’t so fucked up, I would laugh. But it is fucked up, so far fucked up that I still want to punch a hole in the wall when I think about it. Not just because of what Tessa did, but also because I still feel so fucking guilty. The sorrow I feel for what we lost and knowing it was partially my fault almost brings me to my knees.

“I know it doesn’t help, but I never slept with her again,” I tell her, hoping it brings some comfort.

She whips her head up at my comment. She’s surprised.

“But you married her. Are you telling me that you never slept with her again even though you were married? That’s hard for me to believe, Sheriff.”

I take a step away from the counter in her direction. “Fuck no, I didn’t sleep with her again. I couldn’t stand the sight of her. I only married her because she was pregnant.” It was true. Tessa tried her hardest to get me to sleep with her, but I wanted nothing to do with her. She knew it and used everything she had to change my mind. Was not happening.

“Well, that’s nice to know, but it still doesn’t really matter. Once was obviously enough.”

I flinch at her words.

She picks at the label of her bottle, and we lapse into silence again. I walk the rest of the way until I’m standing in front of her. I reach down and tilt her chin up.

“I’m so fucking sorry, Pix. So damn sorry,” I whisper to her.

I see the vulnerability in her eyes, and it nearly breaks me. She’s more of the old Mia right now than I’ve seen in years. I watch, tortured, as a single tear leaves a trail down her cheek. I wipe the wetness away and want to bend down and kiss her soft lips, but I don’t. I’m not going to scare her off when she’s finally looking at me and talking to me. I won’t do anything to jeopardize that. If it’s the only thing I ever have of Mia, I’ll take it.