Reckless Desire (17 page)

Shadow smiled faintly with the memory. Even now, some twenty-four years later, he felt the same.

“Do not shame my daughter,” Shadow warned, fixing Cloud Walker with a hard stare. “Do not lie to her, or make promises you cannot keep. She has been hurt enough.”

Cloud Walker nodded, his heart soaring with hope. “You do not disapprove then?”

“No. I think perhaps Maheo sent you here to ease the pain in Mary’s heart.”

“I will never do anything to bring shame to you or your family,” Cloud Walker vowed fervently.

Shadow nodded, his gaze moving from Cloud Walker’s face to Mary’s. “Come, let us go home.”

They met at the river crossing the following night. Cloud Walker arrived first, and paced the river bank restlessly back and forth along the water’s edge, his heart and his mind eager to see her again. He whirled around at the sound of her footsteps, his heart swelling with emotion as she made her way toward him. She wore a simple yellow cotton dress. A multicolored shawl was wrapped around her shoulders to turn away the cold.

“Mary.”

She walked straight into his arms, her lips parting slightly as she lifted her face for his kiss. Contentment washed over her as Cloud Walker’s arms drew her near.

They stood together for a long time before Cloud Walker let Mary go. “We must talk,” he said.

“I know.”

“I love you,” Cloud Walker said gravely. “I know it is wrong, that you belong to another, but I cannot fight the feelings in my heart.”

“It is the same with me,” Mary confessed. “What are we going to do?”

“I do not know. Among our people, a woman simply places her husband’s belongings out of their lodge when she wishes to end their marriage.”

“I wish it could be that easy for us,” Mary said. “I asked Frank for a divorce before I left Chicago, but he said no.”

“Then we must wait until he says yes,” Cloud Walker remarked ruefully.

“My parents didn’t wait,” Mary muttered under her breath.

“We will not make our love shameful,” Cloud Walker said resolutely. “We will not sneak around as though what we feel for each other is wrong. I am a warrior, and a warrior does not defile the woman he loves. I will never do anything to cause you shame or hurt.”

Mary nodded. He was right, of course. They must wait until she was free from Frank. It would be the hardest thing she had ever done.

They were together often after that night, but always in the company of others. Cloud Walker had vowed he would not touch Mary until he had a right to do so, but he did not trust himself to be alone with her. Good intentions often dissolved in the face of temptation, and Mary was all too tempting. He thought of her constantly, dreamed of her at night, and in those dreams he held her and loved her as he so longed to do. In his dreams she came to him, warm and willing, and he possessed her over and over again, never able to get his fill.

Shadow said little about the relationship between his daughter and Cloud Walker. He saw the heated looks that passed between them, the little touches, the secret smiles. They were much in love, he mused, but, like Hannah, he wondered if any good would come of it.

Chapter Eighteen

The cold breath of winter blew across the vast prairie. The trees, once bedecked with gloriously hued leaves of red and gold and orange, now stood bare beneath the cold gray sky. The river was often covered with a thin coat of ice. Blackie dug his sled out of the barn and spent hours riding down the snow-covered hills with his friends.

Our family spent a peaceful Thanksgiving at Pa’s house. As I sat at a table that was nearly groaning beneath a load of food, I counted myself a lucky woman. Shadow sat at my left. As usual, he was clad in a buckskin shirt, pants, and moccasins. As usual, he looked handsome and virile, and as Pa asked a blessing on the food spread before us, I offered my own silent prayer of thanks to God for giving me a man like Shadow to love.

Hawk sat across from me. My son had changed since his arrest the year before. He was quieter now, more withdrawn. Victoria told me Hawk often rode alone into the hills to meditate. She said he only went to town when it was necessary, and that he was close-mouthed and aloof except around his family and a very few close friends.

Vickie sat on Hawk’s right. Hawk had chosen well when he picked a wife. Victoria was a lovely young woman, a wonderful wife, a devoted mother. I loved her as though she were my own daughter.

Mary sat on Hawk’s left, one of the twins on her lap, but she had eyes only for Cloud Walker. It was easy to see that Mary had fallen head over heels in love with the handsome young Cheyenne, and I worried about her. Mary was still Frank’s wife, after all, and had no business looking at other men.

Blackie sat at my right, engaged in a lively conversation with Pa. Blackie was growing, changing. He was almost as tall as Shadow now, and more and more I was convinced that Blackie was indeed Shadow’s son and not Joshua Berdeen’s. With each passing year, Blackie looked more and more like Shadow.

Pa sat at the head of the table, Katherine cradled in one burly arm. Pa really had his hands full, I thought. He was talking to Blackie, trying to keep Katherine quiet, and eating all at the same time. I was terribly proud of my father. He was active in our community, holding a position on the town council and on the school board as well. He was a good husband, a wonderful father, a doting grandfather.

Rebecca sat at the opposite end of the table across from Pa. Jacob was perched on her lap, eating off her plate with his fingers. I watched her smile at Pa and I saw the love in her eyes as she gazed at her husband. I wondered if she had ever thought, when she agreed to marry Pa, that she would one day have a houseful of people under her roof.

And then there was Cloud Walker. He sat next to Mary, looking a trifle uncomfortable at celebrating a white man’s holiday. I knew he was concerned about his position in our household. He was not really family, only a hired hand who happened to be very much in love with our daughter. Mary had again written to Frank asking for a divorce, but so far she had received no reply.

After we finished dinner with pie and coffee, the women did the dishes while the men sat in the parlor, talking about the weather and their plans for the new year.

Two days after Thanksgiving, Frank Smythe arrived in Bear Valley. He went first to see his parents. Leland and Mattie welcomed Frank home with open arms, assuring him that he could stay with them until he and Mary could work things out.

Later that same afternoon, Frank knocked at our front door. He had changed drastically from the young man who had left Bear Valley a little over a year ago. Frank had always been quiet and soft-spoken, a little self-conscious. But no more. This was a new Frank Smythe, and he looked prosperous and self-assured in a dark blue suit, starched white shirt, black tie, and highly polished black boots. A neatly folded silk handkerchief was tucked into the pocket of his suit coat.

“Good day, Mrs. Kincaid,” Frank said politely. “Is Mary here?”

“Yes, she is, Frank. Won’t you come in?”

“Thank you.”

Mary had been sitting on the sofa mending one of Katherine’s frocks. She stood up as Frank entered the room. There was an awkward moment of silence as Mary and Frank regarded each other.

“Excuse me,” I said, and went into the kitchen. I closed the door, but I could easily hear what was being said.

“Sit down, won’t you, Frank?” Mary invited in a voice that was coolly polite. “How have you been?”

“Fine, Mary,” Frank replied briskly. “I want you to come home with me.”

“Do you, Frank?” Mary asked tremulously. “Why?”

I waited for Frank’s answer, wondering if he knew how bitter Mary was, wondering if he truly realized how much he had hurt her.

“I don’t need a reason,” Frank answered irritably. “You’re my wife, and you belong with me.”

“I don’t want to go back to Chicago,” Mary said, and I marveled at how calm she sounded, how sure of herself.

“Listen, Mary, I’m in line for a big promotion at the bank. Vice president, if you will. Do you have any idea what that means?”

“Yes. It means more money and more prestige and less time for me.”

“Is that what’s bothering you?” Frank exclaimed. “Dammit, Mary, I worked hard every day.”

“And played hard every night. I can’t go back to that, Frank. I won’t.”

“What do you expect me to do? Give up a promising career with a future and bury myself here in Bear Valley?”

“I don’t care what you do,” Mary replied.

A knock at the door stilled Frank’s reply, and then I heard Cloud Walker’s voice. Knowing I shouldn’t, I peeked through the door. Frank had stood up when Cloud Walker entered the room, and now the two men were eyeing each other warily, like dogs about to fight over a scrap of meat. I wondered if Mary had written Frank about Cloud Walker. It didn’t seem likely.

Cloud Walker cleared his throat. “You have company,” he said, his eyes dark with jealousy. “I will come back later.”

Frank was facing my way and I saw his eyes narrow suspiciously at the look of affection that passed between Mary and Cloud Walker. If the look they exchanged wasn’t evidence enough of their feelings for one another, Mary’s guilty blush cinched it.

“So,” Frank drawled after Cloud Walker left the house, “that’s the reason you don’t want to come home with me.”

“I don’t know what you mean,” Mary replied haughtily.

Frank snorted. “Don’t you? It’s written all over that pretty little face of yours. You’ve found some buck to take my place. I might have known,” he sneered. “Once a squaw, always a squaw.”

The crack of Mary’s hand striking Frank across the face was as loud and clear as a pistol shot. “Don’t judge my morals by your own,” Mary said angrily. “I have never been unfaithful to you.”

“Never?” Frank questioned skeptically.

“Never.”

“I guess he’s never held you or kissed you, then,” Frank scoffed.

Mary’s silence was all the answer Frank needed.

“I guess we have nothing more to say to each other,” Frank remarked bitterly.

“Don’t you even want to see your daughter, Frank?” Mary asked quietly.

“No.”

“That’s one of the reasons I left you,” Mary said sadly. “You don’t love Katherine, and you don’t love me. I wonder if you ever did.”

“Goodbye, Mary,” Frank said curtly.

“What about the divorce?”

“Forget it. I’m not making it easy for you, my dear wife. I swallowed my pride to come here and ask you to come home. I want you back, and I’m willing to wait until you’re ready.”

“I’ll never come back,” Mary said defiantly.

“And you’ll never be free to marry that redskin, either,” Frank said triumphantly.

I heard the door slam as Frank left the house. I waited a minute, and then I went into the parlor. Mary was standing near the fireplace, staring at the door. Two large tears welled in her eyes and rolled down her cheeks.

“Mary?”

“Oh,
nahkoa
,” she cried, and dissolved into tears.

I put my arms around her and held her as she cried. Few things in life could be so bitter or as painful as a marriage gone wrong.

“Oh,
nahkoa
,” Mary sobbed brokenly. “What am I going to do?”

“I don’t know, dear,” I answered. “Are you sure you don’t want to go back to Frank and try to work it out?”

“He never even said he loved me, or missed me. He couldn’t even take a minute to see his own daughter. How can you expect me to go back to him?”

“You’re his wife, Mary, remember? For better or worse, until death do you part.”

“I know, but I just can’t go back to him. You have no idea what it was like.”

“I can guess.” I patted Mary’s shoulder lovingly. “This is a decision you must make on your own. I can’t tell you what to do. I guess you’ll just have to follow your heart. But, Mary, don’t forget you have a daughter to consider as well. Whatever you decide will affect Katherine, too. I know you’re hurt and unhappy just now, but don’t do something in haste that you’ll regret later.”

“You mean Cloud Walker.”

“Yes. I know he cares for you, and you seem to care for him, but be very sure of your feelings before you go too far to turn back.”

Mary smiled at me through her tears. “Is that the voice of experience speaking?” she asked, sniffling.

“Yes. Now go dry your eyes and wash your face. Crying never solved anything.”

Chapter Nineteen

We didn’t know just how bitter and vengeful Frank Smythe could be until a few days later. When we heard he had left Bear Valley, we all breathed a sigh of relief, little dreaming that he was not quite through with us yet.

On the Friday afternoon after Frank left Bear Valley, Hawk and Cloud Walker rode into town to pick up a wheel Hawk had left at the blacksmith for repairs. They stopped for a beer before beginning the journey back home, paying little attention to the four men who followed them out of town.

Hawk and Cloud Walker were on a long, deserted stretch of road when the four men overtook them. Too late, Hawk reached for the rifle under the front seat of the wagon.

“I wouldn’t,” warned one of the men, and Hawk raised his hands above his head as the four men drew their guns.

“What do you want?” Hawk asked, glancing at the faces of the four men. “We do not have any cash, if that is what you are looking for.”

“It isn’t,” the leader said. “There’s a ravine about a mile south of here. You know the one I mean? Head that way. And don’t try anything funny.”

Hawk nodded, his stomach in knots as he drove the team toward the ravine. He glanced at Cloud Walker, who shrugged perplexedly. If the men didn’t want money, what did they want?

At the ravine, Hawk reined the horses to a halt and set the brake, then sat there, his hands clenched at his sides, waiting to see what would happen next.

“Get down,” the leader of the group ordered curtly. “Wes, tie that one up and stuff a gag in his mouth. Marv, you and Cliff hang onto the other one.”

Hawk thought briefly of trying to make a break for it as the man called Wes walked purposefully toward him, but there seemed little point in it. There was no way he could outrun a bullet. He remained passive as his hands were tied tightly behind his back and a kerchief was jammed into his mouth.