RECKLESS AND WILD: MOTORCYCLE CLUB ROMANCE BOX SET (6 page)

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

I don't remember when we feel asleep, but at some point we drifted off, and before I knew it I had those same birds chirping outside of his window and the sun shining on my skin. I smiled, and stretched, knowing this time, after last night, exactly what I would find when I opened my eyes.

River's scent lingered in the air, and after inhaling deeply, I opened my eyes and turned to embrace him.

The sound of crinkling paper filled the room as my hand landed on his empty pillow. A note. No sign of River.

Sitting up, I unfolded the paper. A hundred dollar bill fell out into my lap.

“Your purse is in the kitchen. I left you some clothes on the chair, but I threw away those shoes of yours, and that awful wig. Call yourself a cab. It was fun. Take care. ~J”

“Motherfucker!” I screamed, my cracking voice echoing throughout his empty cabin, as I fell back onto his bed.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

I sat on his couch, fully dressed, my back rigid and tense as I stared out the window of his cabin, patiently waiting the half hour it took for the taxi to arrive.

The fact that River obviously thought I was a whore did not set well with me. His crisp new 100 dollar bill was lying in my lap - a clear indicator of his opinion of me, despite his sickly sweet words from the night before – and I grew angrier and angrier. It took days for the sadness to set in, but in that moment, it took all of my resolve to calmly leave his home the way I found it.

I had played out all of my options in my head, though. I could have stayed, forced him to talk to me when he returned home. I could have trashed the place in anger. I simply could have left a note. But I did none of these things. I was an adult, after all, right?

Right.

So I left. I took the taxi to the bar to get my car, and then I went home. I stuck River's stupid hundred dollar bill on my fridge so that I wouldn't forget what a jerk he was, and I went about my business. Well, almost.

I stayed away from the salon, because I couldn't handle seeing him ride up and down the street and pretend I didn't exist. So I stayed home and licked my wounds. I didn't have any appointments anyway, and my phone wasn't exactly ringing off the hook, so I took a little vacation, a little me time, a little hibernation.

But after a couple of days of moping around my apartment in my underwear, I got the itch again.

More than anything I wanted to see River, feel his arms wrapped around me and to feel safe again. But I had been an idiot to think it could ever turn into a real relationship, and his actions had helped me see that. I hated it, sure. But what was I going to do? Make some head-strong man into something that he wasn't? Was he going to marry me and come home and let me watch him from outside of our bedroom window? I wasn't exactly the cookie-making, stay-at-home type. I probably could be, for a little while. I could pretend for a spell. But before long, it would come back. I would crave it. I would need to go out, and see what I could stumble upon. I knew I would never be able to stop watching people, and what kind of man can take a woman like that seriously?

I had come to the conclusion long ago that if I shared my secret with anyone, they would think I was a freak.

And maybe that's why I fell so hard – literally and figuratively – for River. He knew my secret right away, and he still seemed to like me. He even seemed like he might understand, that he got the 'why' part of my stupidity.

But again, who was I kidding? He hated me. How cruel of him to leave that money with his very abrupt note. He made me feel like a woman, and then he made me feel like a fool. It pissed me off that he thought so little of me. That's why I vowed to myself to just forget about him. If I saw him again near the salon, I would just pretend I didn't know him. Give him a taste of his own medicine!

I needed a distraction, and like I said, after a few days, I got that itch again. That itch to watch someone, to see something new, to glimpse into a stranger's life to see what I could learn from it, and find something new to write about.

I set out as soon as the sun had set, the best time to see interesting things. The cover of darkness brings out the most interesting human behavior.

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

I drove for hours, aimlessly searching for something to catch my attention. But I kept getting distracted. River's expressive blue eyes had been haunting me for days and I found my thoughts drifting off, the precious few moments we spent together playing over and over in my head. My feelings towards him went from righteous indignation to desperate yearning. Again and again, I had to remind myself that I was angry with him and that he had indeed treated me like crap.

I kept driving, my mind lost and not really focusing on my task at hand. Before I knew it, I found myself along the same road I had followed River on, the road to his cabin in the woods. I hadn't consciously meant to end up there, but there I was, pathetically parked on the side of the main road and staring at the private turnoff to his cabin.

I debated going up to the door and knocking just to give him a piece of my mind about the hooker money he had left me. After looking in those eyes when I first woke up after falling on my face, and the gentle way he spoke to me, it was so surprising to me that he would do something like that. But I still had the stupid hundred dollar bill attached to my fridge for proof. I wondered how he would react if I just showed up unexpectedly. I didn't even know if he was home, since I couldn't see the cabin from my viewpoint. Would he be mad? Would he think I was spying on him again and be incredibly pissed off? Would he tie me up again and teach me another 'lesson'? That thought had me squirming in my seat when I remembered how it felt to have Colby sitting in the corner of the room watching us that first night.

But, no. I couldn't do it. I couldn't just go and knock on his door. I reminded myself for the millionth time that I was pissed at him. I was just turning the key in my ignition when I saw a car approach and slow down before turning into his long driveway.

A woman!

Dammit. Figures. What did I expect? That he was going to be hanging out and thinking about poor little me being miserable without him? Of course not. He was a freakin' biker, for fuck's sake! Of course he would have a woman visiting him! He probably had a different woman every night.

It was then that I remembered what I was doing out here. I was supposed to be looking for something interesting to write about. As far as I was concerned now, it had just arrived.

Throwing all caution and good sense (if I ever had any in the first place) to the wind, I turned my car around and parked in the same hiding spot I had used before. Winding my way through the trees, I hid behind the largest one I could find and quietly watched his house. I jumped when another car arrived. The crunch of it's tires on the gravel alerted the occupants of the house and I watched as the front door opened and the first woman and River came out to greet the driver of the second car.

“It's about time you showed up!” River called from the front porch.

Another woman! So, River wasn't just satisfied with one woman? He needed two? Of course he did. A man like River could probably take on a whole army of women if he wanted. I'm sure there wasn't a shortage of recruits, after all.

I watched, miserable and angry, as all three of them hugged each other and walked laughing and arm and arm inside the cabin. They were beautiful, that was for sure. Long blonde hair cascaded down both of their backs, leading down to their perfect tight little yoga asses. They looked like a couple of Barbie dolls! The first one was wearing a flowery sundress and the second one was wearing tight jeans that hugged her body like a second skin. River was wearing nothing but jeans, his amazing body on display and apparently ready for action.

I wished now I had never ended up here. Music and laughter poured out of his windows as I stood there dumbfounded and even more miserable than I had been when I arrived. So much for all the progress I had made in the last few days.

Once again, my curiosity got the better of me, and despite my misery, my feet began shuffling quietly across the pine needles covering the ground between the trees I was hiding behind and River's cabin. I was just going to have a little peek. Trying to brace myself for the worst, I inched up to the living room window, attempting to peer in without them seeing me.

They looked like a damned happy family. Smiles spread across their faces as they spoke to each other animatedly. River was opening a bottle of wine. A bottle of wine! Barbie Number One was pulling pots and pans out of the cabinets and Barbie Number Two was rifling through the pantry for food. Obviously, they were planning on making dinner.

Wine and dinner!

I would have been less hurt if I caught them going at it like rabbits, but no, I have to witness them making dinner together. How annoying.

Miserable and dejected, I slowly turned away and being extremely careful not to fall over a rock this time, I walked back through the woods to my car. What did I expect? That River was going to be home alone and miserable, just like me? Of course not, I was the last thing on his mind, I knew that.

Driving home, I felt worse than ever. I wished I had never stumbled into his life. I wished I had never fallen face first into the parking lot asphalt in front of him and his stupid biker friends. I wished I hadn't fallen in love with his stupid blue eyes and the way he looked at me in the morning. But it was all too late, and in addition to being certifiably crazy, I was now certifiably ridiculous.

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

By the time I returned home, I was determined to be done with him. I would simply forget he existed. I would go back to my salon, get back on my feet, and be finished with all of this bullshit. What was I ever thinking chasing some asshole who, despite being fine as hell, was ruder than anyone had ever been to me in my life? That was just it. I hadn't been thinking. But now I was. No more whimpering needy woman dressing for attention. No more airhead who followed people around without thinking it through first.

And no more bikers! If I needed a fix of the heady scent of leather and whiskey, I would stay home with a bottle and my own black leather jacket!

Drifting off to sleep that night, I pushed away all the memories of River and Colby and those two stupid Barbie girls and concentrated on what I could do to help my salon make some much needed cash.

When I woke up the next morning, I had it all figured out.

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

Bells rang over my head as I opened the door to the greasy spoon diner a few blocks from my shop. Red and blue fliers filled my backpack and I was exhausted from walking around the neighborhood for the last few hours and passing them out, carefully avoiding the Outlaws clubhouse. My stomach growled as I took a seat at the bar and opened a menu.

“Whatcha havin', sugar?”

The haggard old man behind the counter stared at me over his bifocals, a pad in hand, and his pen suspended in mid-air as he waited for me to decide.

“A bacon cheeseburger and a coke, please.”

“You want fries with that, darlin'?”

I nodded and he walked away. I appreciated his no nonsense attitude. I had been frantically working on my shop the last week, and had made huge changes by adopting that very same attitude. I had decided to turn my hair salon into a barber shop. I had learned everything I needed to know in beauty school, and I was thankful now for those shaving classes that were required to graduate.

Services would include cuts, hot towel, close neck shaves, and a free beer, bourbon, scotch, or soda to each customer.

Men would be easy to market to and easy to provide for. I figured they would be low-maintenance, and after a quick search through the phone book to confirm my suspicions, I saw there wasn't much to compete with. My target audience would be older men who would appreciate a traditional barber cut.

At the very least, it was worth a try. My dwindling bank account was a constant reminder that I needed to do something, and fast.

The vintage barber pole, used leather sofas, new dark paint and all the extra supplies I needed maxed out my credit cards, but I didn't blink an eye. I closed up shop for a week, drew the curtains, turned up the music, and spent the week alone painting and redecorating the place. I even changed the sign on the door – Dixie's Cut and Curl changed to Dixie's Gentleman's Parlour. After placing a few ads in the papers announcing the grand opening, I was nervous, but determined to make it successful.

I managed to avoid the clubhouse entirely. Once I had made my decision, and after seeing River with those two women, it was refreshing to have something else to think about and I dove into my work with enthusiasm. The moments when I was haunted by thoughts of him didn't decrease, but at least I was busy doing something else instead of spying on him. I hadn't seen him in my comings and goings at all. I thought I had caught a glimpse of Colby late one night through the fence, but I hurriedly drove away before I could be tempted to ask him about River.

And neither of them appeared to be the type to be up for a traditional hair cut and shave so I wasn't too concerned with them becoming customers. I would just stay on my side of the street, and they could do the same. I was determined to not allow myself to be filled with anger or shame about the situation. What was done was done, and if either of them, or their biker friends, wanted to talk about it, well then I certainly couldn't stop them.

The best thing for me to do would be to just go on with my life. And that is exactly what I was doing. My grand opening was in two days and my flier distribution had been going well. They had been enthusiastically well-received at each place I dropped them off, and I hoped the people who said they would drop by were actually going to show up.

I had visited the senior citizen home, the club at the golf course, a couple of bars frequented by old men, three churches, the health club, the hospital, and the library. The three hundred fliers I had made up offered half price discounts for the cut and shave special and if I got enough customers to just use half of those, I would be a very happy woman.

Right now, I was just a very exhausted woman, and it was only two in the afternoon.

My burger arrived and I practically inhaled it. I hadn't eaten breakfast, a bad habit of mine, and after all that running around, I needed quick nourishment. When the bell rang over the diner door again, I didn't even look up, my face half-buried in my plate.

I didn't see Colby walk in and sit in the booth behind me. If I did, I probably wouldn't have placed a pile of my fliers on the table by the door when I walked out after I was done eating.

Turns out, it was probably the best thing I ever did.