Reckless (7 page)

~Schism~

I stayed in bed all morning. I sent Rome a text message when I first woke up but hadn’t heard anything.  At 2:00pm, I decided to call and to my surprise, he answered. “Have you been okay?” I stated in a certainly concerned tone, “I’ve been calling and texting and haven’t heard a thing. I was starting to get worried about you”. He paused and began to tell me that he was just taking some time to think. He stopped his intended sentence and asked if he could come over to which I agreed. Soon after, Tamera sent me a text to give me her daily ‘the streets be talking’ update.

“Word around my part of town is Rome and April went to the mountains together,” was what the text read. It was followed by, “When was the last time you saw him?” I didn’t reply to either message. I was only slightly moved by this news because I figured something was going on for him to not respond for so long. I got out of bed, made some coffee and brushed my teeth. I had just poured a cup of coffee and put on my robe when Rome rang from the main entrance. I buzzed him in and waited. When he knocked at the door, my heart began to race. I opened the door to find him standing on the other side clean shaved and smelling good.  Even though I was mad at him, I couldn’t help but to smile as I welcomed him to come in. “Would you like a cup of coffee?” I asked as I led him to the breakfast area. He declined the offer telling me that he had his limit for the day.

As we sat next to each other at the table, he asked how I had been. “Wondering if you cared,” I replied. He looked with an expression of pity. He knew he had been ignoring my calls and texts and had no real explanation for why he hadn’t been in touch. He pulled his chair close to me and placed his hands on my lap. “I know I’ve been missing in action. I just needed to stop and look at some things,” he took a deep breath and looked towards the balcony doors. “So what did you come up with?” I asked in a flat tone as I stirred my coffee. I felt like I should be preparing for the worst, but the worst thing he could say was that he wanted to end the relationship, and I actually would have
embraced a break up. I cared about him, but I felt like he already ended the relationship when he failed to communicate with me for days at a time. “Look babe, I’ve had my share of women,” came out of his mouth in a nervous tone, “and I liked the way my life had been.” I waited for the word ‘but’ to come out and he didn’t fail as he continued talking. “But I’m feeling a little different about you,” he sat back in the chair as if he were searching for words. He went on to explain that since the last party, he’s been having reservations about the lifestyle. “I care about you a lot more than I realized and I would rather be with you in a monogamous relationship than to have ill feelings about someone else screwing you.” “I know you were at Henry’s club  last night.” He stated as if to scold me. With a slightly smirked expression, I tilted my head and replied with one word, “True”.

He decided to remind me that Henry was a long time friend and that sex with women other than his wife was just part of the lifestyle. I began to feel anger building inside. I understood from the first night that the sex was just sex and was irritated by him acting as if I wasn’t aware. “So is it a case of you introduced me to something that you figured I would run from and I didn’t run?” I tilted my head.
“Is that it Rome? You figured I’d be like your last girlfriend, nut up and run. Or is it that I went to your boys club last night without you? All of a sudden you want to be monogamous and just a week ago, you wanted a super freak.” I stared at every inch of him. In a questioning tone I stated, “It’s a control thing isn’t it? You don’t want to be monogamous; you just want to swing when it’s in your favor.” I laughed as he shook his head ‘no’.

He put his hands over his head and leaned forward looking to the floor. “You showed me that you would do what you thought would make me happy and I love that you care enough about me to set aside your ways and roll with mine.” At that point, I was a little offended.  “You took a quiet and shy me, exposed me to something I had only heard rumors of- just to see if I would do it? I took a sip, and now I want to keep drinking and you want me to stop?”
“ You see Rome,” I took a deep breath and went on, “you don’t put a match to pre-soaked coals and expect to put the fire out whenever you want.”  I realized I was over our relationship and really just wanted to be done with him. I stood up and walked towards the door. Knowing just what I wanted him to do, he followed me.

He looked at me and stated in an almost caring
tone, “You just be careful out there. Keep getting tested just in case a rubber breaks. Don’t get your feelings in it, it will only break your heart at the end.” He shook his head as he pulled his keys out of his pocket. I rolled my eyes up as I asked why he was shaking his head. “I’m just tripping. Maybe I am being selfish. But I feel like I love you.” I asked him how he could say that he loved me. He never told me that. I thought to myself how all of a sudden when I’m falling for Henry-  Rome wants to tell me that he loves me. I laughed at him just a little. He looked at me like he was confused. I told him to practice what he preached as I unlocked the door. I didn’t tell him that I got a text just before he came from Tamera informing me that he was out of town with his ex-girlfriend April. I was no better for my involvement with Henry, but Rome put me in that situation as far as I was concerned.              

I felt a need to get Rome out of my system. That night, I decided to go back to Club
Amoré. I was surprised to find that neither Henry nor Rachell were present. I ordered a strawberry daiquiri at the bar and asked the bartender if either of the two were in Eros. He held his lip tight and nodded his head “no”.

A younger blond woman sat next to me. She
looked like she may have been in her mid to late twenties. As I sipped on my drink, she introduced herself as Holly. I replied with my name and shook her hand. “So I heard you asking about the owner Henry,” she looked to the bartender and ordered a martini. I asked if she knew Henry and Rachell. She told me that she has seen them in passing, but never anything more. She looked through her designer bag to get some money to pay the bartender.  She tossed her hair to the side and scooted to the edge of the barstool to get closer to me. “So, you haven’t heard?” I nodded my head because I had no idea as to what she was talking about. “It’s been buzzing all over the place this evening that Rachell was found dead in her car sometime today.” I held my drink in my mouth for a minute, swallowed hard and asked Holly, “what do you mean she was found dead?” Holly went on to explain that Rachell was missing most of the day and Henry and one of his friends went searching since the police said she had to be missing 24 hours before they would act on a missing persons report. “Well, they found her in her car at a park on the north end; she was in the driver’s seat with a note that just said she was sorry. Now I don’t know if she took some pills, shot herself or what, but she’s gone.” Holly took a drink and scanned the club.

I called the number I had in my phone for Henry- no answer. I immediately started riffling through my purse looking for the business card that Henry gave me when we first met. It had his alternate cell phone number on it and I felt a serious need to call him. Tucked among store receipts and shoppers cards, I found it. I dialed the number and waited. After five rings, it went to his voice mail, but I didn’t leave a message.

I looked at the clock- it was 11:30p. I had a missed call from Rome and decided to call him back. The line rang twice before I heard his voice on the other end. “I was hoping you would call,” were the first words that I heard. I took my purse, tilted my head to Holly and walked outside.  “Hey Rome what are you doing?” I held my head down but my eyes looked up to see if anyone was around as I stood just outside the door. I could tell that he had just taken a sip of a drink as he told me that he was over at Henry’s house. He said that something happened to Rachell, but he didn’t say that she was dead. He told me it was a serious situation and he felt like I should be there. I could hear other people in the background as he asked me if there was any chance that I could come out to Henry’s right then. “Well, I’m a ways out, but I suppose I can come out there.” I had an unsure tone to my voice as if I really didn’t want to go and Rome sensed it right away. “What the hell do you mean by that?” There was silence. “You have a lot of nerves acting like you really don’t care and this could be a matter of your life,” it sound like he took another drink. “Look, I am sure you weren’t calling to say ‘hey Rome I’m yours’, I get that...” I cut him off before he could finish ranting, told him that she would be there soon and hung up.

When I arrived at Henry’s, I slowly walked to the front porch and through the door. Initially, I didn’t see any familiar faces. As I approached the kitchen, I saw Rome and Scott sitting at the counter with drinks in their hands talking. Scott nudged Rome to draw his attention to the fact that I was there. “Hey babe,” he stood up, place one arm around my waist, tilted my chin up and kissed me. His demeanor was completely different from the telephonic scolding he had given me not long ago. He acted as if we were a happy couple meeting up on a date. I was surprised for a moment, but I reciprocated the kiss and acknowledged Scott by nodding my head to him.  He told me that
Rachell was dead. “Oh no,” I tried my best to give a sorrowful tone. “Where is Henry at?” I asked as I scanned the faces of strangers. With an emphasis on his name, Rome replied that “Henry is not doing so well. Actually, none of us are.” He picked his drink up and told me to follow him.

We walked down the hall to the home office. When we entered, I quickly focused on the silent, tearful man who sat in one of two leather recliners. “Hey man,” Rome stated to get Henry’s attention. He looked up and for a split second we locked eyes. He gestured to us to have a seat on the chaise lounge that sat across from his seat. “I’m really sorry,” Henry cut my words short by holding his hand up letting me know that he wanted me to be quiet. “It’s been years of playing this game and I would have never imagined it ending like this,” Henry said to Rome as he filled his glass up with his favorite top shelf cognac. Rome replied “yea” and as he took a sip of his drink. Tears began to roll down Rome’s face. Scott walked in and closed the door. Rome turned towards me and just looked at me for a moment. I looked over at Henry; he was looking down at some papers that were on the table next to him.

“Bri,” Rome placed my hand between his hands, “Rachell took her own life.” He didn’t know that I already knew this, but I couldn’t understand why Rome was acting as if I needed to be consoled. After all, he knew I did not care for Rachell at all.  Rome went on to explain that the reason Rachell committed suicide was the reason I was asked to come out to the house. Henry walked over and kneeled in front of me. As he handed me papers that had the health departments letter head on them, he told me that Rachell may be positive. My hesitant response was, “positive for what?” Rome took the papers, sat then on the table and placed his hands over his as head and leaned forward. Rome stated, “HIV, Sabrina, HIV.” Henry said that Rachell received a letter from the health department stating that her information was given to them as being  a recent sex partner for someone who tested positive for HIV. It said that she needed to come in for testing and have a list of all previous sex partners in case additional notification is needed.

“I think she just didn’t know how to tell anyone because she felt that it was her fault. She admitted in her note that she had been sleeping with people outside of the circle that she met at the club and online. She left a notebook with dates and names
of over 80 men and women she had sex with in the last 5 years.” Henry sounded calm as he said this, but all I could so was shake my head. “I left the note she wrote so the police could do whatever they needed to do with it. But this letter…..I can’t have people knowing this.”

“Damn,” I stood up and went to where Henry had been sitting. I filled his glass with cognac, stood there with my back turned, tilted my head up and drank. I thought she would panic, but to take her own life…I didn’t think she would do that. I drank some more. Once the glass was empty, I turned around to face the two men who were now standing in anticipation of my next reaction. I picked up the papers as if I just wanted to read them. I had to get rid of them. “So what does this mean for me?” I asked with a flat tone of voice. Rome stated, “it means you’re going to have to get tested, we all have to get tested and often for a while.”

I looked at Henry who stood with a solemn expression. “She slept with over 80 different people,” I repeated to Henry. He walked closer to me and put his arms around my waist. “Baby I promise I tested negative twice since the last time me and Chell had sex. I didn’t lie to you.” He kissed me on my lips and tears ran down my face. Rome exclaimed, “What the fuck do you mean baby? You two been fucking around outside the parties?” Scott stood in front of Rome and told him to calm down.  Scott knew about Henry and I all along. It was his hotel that Henry kept a suite for us to meet at. “You know what Rome,” he looked at me silently, “you go and tell April I said hi and don’t stand in my face acting like you were ever so into me.”