Reckless (15 page)

“Then when, Sean? When will you be ready? How long are you going to punish me for something I didn’t even do. Lying to you is one thing, but you act as if I cheated on you and you know damn well that is not true.”

“The evidence says otherwise.”

“What evidence? You’re being ridiculous. If you really believed I cheated on you, then why are you still coming home to me every night? Why not kick me out or … ask for a divorce? You don’t believe it Sean, and with good reason. You know in your heart, I love you and no one else. You know I would never do anything like that.” He tries to walk around me again, but I stop him and grab hold of his face, forcing him to look at me, “Sean, I know you are hurting, but please listen to me. All I wanted to do was let go of the business, take a backseat and be able to stay home more.” He suddenly focuses a little more on me. “Once we decided to have a bigger family, I wanted to surprise you and be home more for you and our family.”

“You would never leave that job.” He huffs.

“I would never leave it for something that doesn’t mean anything to me, but I would leave it for you and Lillah and for … whoever else may come along.” Pulling my hands away from his face, I hope he finally listens to me.

“I want to believe you Ava, but I am afraid to. Rebecca says Jasper has been coming over here while I’m gone. That you two spend hours inside, that she saw him kiss you …”

“That is not true Sean.”

“I found a tie clip under the sofa. It had Jasper’s name engraved on it.” He says looking me over.

I sigh in disbelief. “It is not true. Rebecca probably put it there. I told you she was at his place.” Frustrated, I grip him tighter, “Jasper has never been here. You can ask him yourself. I will call him and you can talk to him.”

“I don’t need to talk to
him
. Forget the tie clip, you’re telling me that he bought your company and forced you to stay on long enough so he could work with you, but he didn’t want anything more?”

 
Hesitating, I know it is better to tell him despite the reaction I expect to get. “You’re right, he did it all in hopes of somehow getting me back. And yes, he did corner me one night after everyone left.” Sean’s eyes widen. “I stopped him. I punched him in the eye, actually, and I made sure he understood it is never going to happen. I wouldn’t say he completely respects that decision, but he doesn’t try anything anymore.” His hands are fisting as he steams even more. “I don’t know what else to do to convince you. I don’t know why you would believe Rebecca anyway. She is nothing more than a lying whore and will do anything to get what she wants.”

“I don’t know who to believe, Ava.” Before I can argue with him any further, he growls frustratingly. “I am so tired! I only want to get this film done and then, maybe, we can talk.” He says. I shake my head, defeated, and go to bed. There is no use fighting with him when he is this tired.

I lay in bed for several hours before I hear the door open. Sean lies in bed next to me, and after a soft sigh I feel his hand brush the hair out of my face. Running the back of his fingers across my cheek, he expects me to be asleep but I open my eyes and look into his for the first time in days. I don’t give him a chance to say anything. I push myself deep into his chest and hold onto him desperately. He doesn’t hold me as tight as he has, but he doesn’t push me away either.

The next few days are impossible and miserable. I feel like my whole body is rejecting me. I can’t sleep, eat or even manage a clear thought anymore. It’s difficult, but I manage to get Lillah dressed and take her outside along with the boys to play, hoping the sunshine will help me feel better.

“How sweet.” Rebecca said, walking over to us. I sigh instantly. “Oh, don’t get all worked up, Ava. I am only teasing you.” I grab my drink so I can move us further away from her, but she follows. “What are you drinking? I thought you always drink that nasty tea stuff?”

“I made more, but it’s not cold yet so I am drinking water. Is that okay with you?” I asked her as she shrugs.

“Whatever. Are we eating soon?” she asked.

“You can eat whenever you want. There is a kitchen in the guesthouse.” I said, exasperated.

“Oh Ava, don’t be ridiculous. At least tell me where I can get something to drink, and I don’t want water.”

“Oh yes, I would hate for you to go without alcohol much longer. It is after six.” I smiled at her, earning a mocking one back.

“Go to hell, Ava.”

“You first.” I said as she walks into the house. Since Joel has been staying with Sean at the hotel every night, it leaves me to deal with his wife alone. The only good part about that is she is not able to be around Sean either.

By the time I put Lillah to bed I feel exhausted and want nothing more than to go to bed myself. Sean is supposed to call within the hour so I try to keep myself busy so I can stay awake long enough to talk to him. I let the boys outside and clean up the patio some before concentrating on Lillah’s toys in the living room.

“Ava.” A voice steams in my direction. I snap my head around and lose my breath instantly. “I missed you.” Shaking my head, I fall to the floor and scoot away from the approaching figure. “I told you I would never let you go. You are mine, and I will take you back.”

Screaming, I run to let the boys inside but they seem more alarmed by me than anything else. Pausing, I search the room and find nothing, no one. My heart is still racing as I check on Lillah and call security to check things over for me. They find nothing and I begin to believe that my exhaustion is causing my nightmares to surface. After all,
Spencer is dead
.
How could he be talking to me in my living room?

I had trouble sleeping last night, even after I moved to the bed in Lillah’s room. With the doors locked and the boys at my side, I kept watch on security lights, which stayed solid throughout the night. I decided to make an excuse to work from home today. I am able to get some sleep when Edelmira, the nanny, comes in to watch Lillah for me. My dreams are erratic until his voice slithers into my dreams. “I always liked watching you sleep, Ava.” Slowly, I open my eyes, but before I can scream he covers my mouth and holds me down. “Don’t scream or I will kill everyone in this house, including your precious little girl. Do you understand me?” I nod, slowly. “Good, now take your clothes off and turn over.” I begin to panic and shake my head hysterically when he presses down harder on me. “Don’t fight me!” Spencer yells at me.

“Mrs. Grant? Are you awake?” Edelmira calls out as she knocks on the door. I stare at Spencer wide-eyed.

“Get up and get rid of her.” He says.

He lets me up and I walk slowly towards the door. As soon as I reach the knob I turn it quickly, grab Edelmira by the arm and rush to Lillah causing the boys to become alarmed and bark madly. I sound an alarm and close us all in Lillah’s room to wait for help. I don’t know where Spencer went or how he got away, but security swears that they can find no one. Edelmira tells me to get some sleep, but that is the last thing I can do. Sean arrives quickly and rushes in, checking me over in panic.

“What happened?” He asks. I begin to cry in relief to see him. “Calm down. You’re okay now. Tell me what happened, Ava.”

“I don’t know exactly. The other night, I was cleaning and I saw Spencer. Then, when I was asleep, he woke me up and held me down and told me he was going to kill Lillah if I didn’t do what he asked.” I ramble before I think about what I am saying. Sean backs off me with a questioning expression on his face.

“Ava, that is impossible. And security says that they found no one here. Are you sure you didn’t just have a bad dream?” Sean caresses my face as if I am breakable. “You look exhausted, baby.”

“Sean I … I have no idea what I saw … if I saw.”
It was real, wasn’t it?

Sean

Ava looks half-crazed. Her eyes are dark and her hands are shaking. I feared those nightmares would come back. I had hoped she would find a way to deal with them, or at least recognize them as nightmares and nothing more. Security assures me they checked everything several times, and even the boys acted as if nothing was amiss. I feel bad for leaving her alone, even when I knew the nightmares were affecting her lately. I need to be home with her, but until I can, I have Randy move in to help her feel better.

It is only a day later, and in the middle of the night, when Randy calls. He would never call unless there is something horribly wrong. “Sean, I think you need to come home. Ava is hysterical. She swears she saw him again.” Sighing deep into my hands, I hear him do the same. “Sean, she is injured too.”

“What? What do you mean she is injured?”

“She has cuts and bruises on her arms and legs. There is no one here, Sean. There is no one anywhere on the grounds. I checked myself.” Randy said.

“What are you telling me? She is hurting herself?” I ask and he sighs again. I get up and begin to pack, but before I leave, Joel walks in.

“Where are you going?” He asked with a surprised expression.

“It’s Ava. She is having those nightmares again and she is hurting herself now. I need to be with her as much as I can.”

“Sean, you can’t be serious. We need you on set. We need you to be fresh. I know you are worried about your wife and it is understandable, but what are you going to do that Randy and security aren’t? Besides, don’t you think this is all a little convenient?” He cocks his head at me as I stare at him in confusion. “Come on Sean, she happens to have these nightmares right before you go out of town? Seems convenient now that you two have been fighting and you move to a hotel for a few days. She seems to be fine when you are with her.”

“Ava isn’t like that.”

“I am sure she isn’t meaning to consciously, but sometimes a woman just wants attention. Then, when she doesn’t get it, she over dramatizes things to get you to notice her. She probably doesn’t even realize she is doing it.” I shake my head, even though it makes some since. “Listen, it is too late for you to be going home now. You will have to turn around and come right back. Call her and talk to her, then get some sleep. Get through tomorrow, and then go home to her. If she knows you are coming home, she will calm down.”

“Maybe, but I have to go home and check on her myself.”

 
“You should get more sleep, Sean. I think the lack of sleep is affecting your judgment.” Joel pats me on the back before walking towards his room.

“Are you just getting in from the set?” I asked him.

“Oh, yeah, I got so involved in watching the dailies I forgot the time.” He says shrugging.

“You work too much, talk about someone who needs more sleep. The movie is going to be great, you shouldn’t worry so much.” He laughs and I leave to go to my wife.

Ava

Sean came home and slept beside me, and Randy was kind enough to stay and sleep in Lillah’s room. It was a bad night and everyone is now walking on eggshells around me, as if I am about to go crazy at any moment. In a way, I feel as if I am going crazy. Even after talking to my therapist, I believe that I am dreaming it all. After getting enough sleep last night and even some this afternoon while Edelmira was here, I feel better and want to do my best to look lively before Sean gets home. When Joel comes home, I call out to him before he goes into the guesthouse.

“Hi Beautiful, are you feeling better?” He says, seeming to be on the same eggshells as everyone else.

“Yes, thank you. Is Sean going to be here soon?”

“Should be, I believe he was right behind me.” He says nodding and obviously wanting to get away from me before I go crazy again. “You know, you should get some exercise. Go for a run or something. It might even convince Sean that you’re not so scared of the dark after all.” I smile and he leans in, “You’re not, are you? I mean, if you are, then you might want to consider going to a hospital for help. I only say that out of concern for you. There is nothing wrong with it.”

“I’m fine. I don’t need to go into any hospital. But thank you for your concern.”

“I didn’t mean to upset you, but Sean is really worried about you and it is affecting him badly. I love him like he brother and I would do anything for him, so anything you can do to prove it to him that you are okay, I would be grateful.” I nod and he smiles, hugging me lightly, but Rondo suddenly approaches with a light growl, causing Joel to back off.

“Rondo! What is wrong with you? I’m sorry, I am not sure why he is acting like that.” I said, holding Rondo back by the collar.

“It’s okay, but where is the other one? I don’t want him to sneak up behind me.” Joel laughs nervously.

“He is inside sleeping, so you should make it the guesthouse safely. I’m sorry, I don’t know why he is acting this way. He must have woken up on the wrong side of his dog-bed.” I laugh, hoping to ease his tension.

“He must have.” He laughs with me. Joel steps further away from Rondo who is watching him intently. “Well better go check on Rebecca before I have to go back to the set. You should consider that run, it would really prove you are not afraid of the dark, you know?”