Reborn (9 page)

I look at the glass and wonder who is going to talk first.

No one does for a long time, but then Jake smiles, “I want to toast to Meg. The first girl who ever told me that I was what she called ‘a long sip of ice-cold water on a hot day’. I asked her when she’d ever had ice-cold water and she replied, never. I just heard Momma say it whenever we saw something as yummy as you roaming the woods. To Meg.”

We all laughed and drank a huge gulp. My head started to spin.

Star held up her glass, “To Meg, thank you for showing me how to cook deer properly, since I couldn’t do it, even if the damned deer got up and told me how.”

I laughed harder and took back another big gulp.

Anna whispered into Bernie’s ear. He held up his glass, “This is from Anna. To Meg, the girl who told me to tell Emma to stick it up her kazoo, when I told her she wouldn’t let me and Bernie date.”

I laughed and nodded. Kazoo was a weird word I swore she made up. I imagined she made up most of what she said.

I held up my glass, “To Meg, my sister. Thank you for showing me how to not take things so seriously.” I drank it back, knowing it wasn’t funny but it was true. She was always chewing a piece of grass and telling me to mind my business about Bernie and Anna. She was always telling me to just love both brothers and let them sort out the details. I drank back the last of my drink.

“How did you meet her?” Bernie asked.

I sniffled, “She saved my life. She saved me from something bad.”

Bernie looks surprised, “She saved you?”

I nod, “We were with the others, in cages. I was about to be… next thing I knew, he was dead and there was little Meg cussing at me to hurry up and run away. She’d stabbed him in the side of his eye with a nail. She was a savage. She didn’t stop talking for days. Momma this, and momma that, and Auntie Heather, and Leo was sort of useless for a pet. He wasn’t as great as her precious hounds.” My eyes gloss over and I finish the drink, “She was one of my first friends, like a little sister.” I glance at Anna. She smiles and winks at me.

Bernie smiles, “She was a genuinely-good person.”

Jake laughs, “She was just crazy enough to be fun, but had more sense in one finger than anyone I’ve ever met.”

I laugh and hold my glass out with the last drink of the liquid, “To Meg.”

I wake the next morning stiff, achy, and hateful. My whole body is an angry mess. I climb from the bed filled with a snuggly eleven-year old and walk to the bathroom. I pull off my clothes and look at myself naked. I'm a mess. Bruises, cuts, stitches, and dried blood.

I sigh and climb into the shower. The hot water is amazing. The soap stings everywhere, but every time I think about the pain, my brain chimes in and thinks, aren’t you lucky to be alive and feeling that pain. The cold hate feels lessened by the people in the house.

I climb out to find Sarah sitting in a corner in the bathroom. I wrap myself with a towel and walk to her. I drop to my knees, “You okay?”

She shakes her head, “I had a bad dream and then I woke up, and Andy was screaming and crying again.”

I hold my hand out to her, “Come on. I think I saw some of those packets of that sauce cook used to make you. I’ll see if Bernie can whip you up some home fries and that sauce. Maybe breakfast will help Andy too. Bernie had potatoes last time I was here.”

She perks up and stands. I pull on clean clothes of Star’s and we go downstairs to try to start our day.

We find only Jake in the kitchen, eating a bar. He smiles at me, “You look pretty.”

I laugh and nod, “You seen Bernie?”

His eyes darken, “He’s in bed still.” I realize what that means and grimace, “Oh.”

He gives me a look, “Trust me, he didn’t have much choice on the matter. He tried to be a gentleman last night after you went to bed.”

I put a hand up, “I don’t need to know.”

He laughs, “Haven’t you ever heard that misery loves company?”

I smile, “I heard that before.”

Sarah smiles brightly, “Me too.”

He smirks, “It’s true.”

I nod toward Sarah, “You want to help me make some breakfast?”

He smiles, “What are we having?”

Chapter Four

Bernie puts gold tacks on the places he knows for sure have camps or towns. It dawns on me, I don’t know anything about the world we live in.

“I didn’t know there were so many.”

He looks up, “There are a lot of survivors, especially in the Midwest. The East Coast was completely destroyed in the tidal waves and hurricanes, but the winters were what got most of the people. The disease was worse there too, with the dense population and all.”

He places a red felt dot on the towns he knows have Lord’s Keepers. “Here and here are the worst I’ve heard of. This place has some but it’s a mix of traders and Keepers.”

I look down, “I’ve seen them lots, always trying to get kids to come with them. I figured they were either perverts or just trying to help the children with no parents.”

He nods, “I’m sure it’s a special mixture.”

I snort and cross my arms, “How will we get to them all?”

Will nods, “Same as we did with the breeder farms.”

I give him a look, “You haven’t been to the towns much, have you?”

He furrows his dark brow, “Not a ton, why?”

I shrug, “There aren’t a lot of medical types who don’t know how to shoot a gun properly. Those people are survivors. They’re more like me and you.”

His stare gets cold, “Then we should fit in famously.”

Bernie looks like he’s thinking, “The thing you’re forgetting though, the townspeople want you to succeed. There’s talk of you and the rebellion.”

I frown, “The flashy crow isn’t going to get us anywhere with those people. Yeah, the ones who had family at the farms sure, but we’d have to free the work farms before any of them would really care. Women aren’t as important as men, not any more.”

Bernie laughs, “Not since we went back to constantly barbecuing in a cave.”

I frown again but Will laughs. Anna gives me a confused look as she leaves the room. Star points at a spot in the middle, “There is a work camp right near there. I bet the majority of that town has family in the camps.”

Bernie nods, still chuckling, “Right, we went there once. I remember that. When do we leave?”

I looked around, “We… is a bad move. We includes Sarah, Anna who can't talk, and Jake who is Jake. Bernie, no offense, but you aren’t exactly badass either.”

He puts a hand in the air, “I’m good with staying. I don’t care what happens out there, never have.”

Star nods, “So me, you, and Will?”

I nod, “And Andy. We need to find him some people to take care of him. We could work that woman-slaver angle if we have to. I’ve seen that.” I wish I hadn’t.

Jake shakes his head, “I’m coming. Leo still isn’t a hundred percent; he’s staying and Anna is never going to let you leave her here.”

Anna walks back in with a drink. I don’t meet her gaze, “I’m sure Bernie can take that.”

Bernie gives me a confused look, “You think so?”

I nod, “You underestimate the effect love has on people.”

He shakes his head, “I think you underestimate my role in our love.” I laugh but Anna grabs my arm, ignoring when I wince from the wound on it.

I shake my head and just say what I'm thinking, “You can’t come. Just stop being crazy and think. This house is our best bet at survival in the winter. When it comes, we won't have the cabin. Think about your last winter? Think about the fact you and Jake hid outside my cabin, stealing water and nearly dying. It was spring then. And Bernie can’t keep this place safe, now that people know where it is. We don’t know if any of Marshall’s people made it out of here. We need Sarah, Bernie, and Leo to stay safe. Leo is hurt. He can’t come with me. We need this house to stay safe. You’re the only one.”

Her eyes burn. She whispers, “Damn you.”

I nod, “I know if anyone can keep Leo and Sarah safe, it’s you.”

She makes her wheeze and storms from the room.

Bernie gives me a look, “Wow, you came up with that faster than I would have.”

I nod, “It’s true and it’s the only way she’s gonna stay. I could see you weren’t going to say anything anyway.”

His eyes soften, “Thank you.” He knows we’re going to die, more than likely and doesn’t want her to come. We’re always more than likely going to die. The fact only Meg is gone is some kind of miracle.

Will gives me a look, “When do you want to leave?”

“Now.”

Star looks annoyed, “Really?”

I nod, “I want this over. I want to be back before the people from the camp have time to get here, if any did get away.”

Jake watches me from the corner, “I’m coming.” He turns and leaves. I look at Will who clenches his jaw, “He’s not going to back down.”

I shrug, “I’ll break his legs, he’ll stay.”

I storm after him. He looks back and me and grins, taking off running. I can still see the way he favors his leg that was hurt.

I chase him up the stairs. “You aren’t coming.”

He gives me a smirk, “You going to stop me?”

I nod, “I am.”

“You aren’t the boss, flashy crow. You may have everyone else convinced you’re the boss, but I don’t buy it. I watched you for months. You were lonely. You were scared. I saw it. You read those books in the window of that cabin and your face softened, in a way I only see when you’re with me.” He points, “You can deny it all you want, but I know you better than anyone. I know you better than you know yourself.” He closes the door, leaving me standing in the hallway with my heart beating a mile a minute.

I never thought about the fact he watched me.

I turn and walk into our room. Sarah is napping with Andy on the bed. I lie down beside her, stroking her soft, blonde hair. She opens her eyes slowly, “Mom?” She sees me and blushes, “Hey, Em.”

I smile, “Missing your mom?”

She shakes her head, “No.”

I smile wider, “It's okay if you are. I miss my family all the time."

She shakes her head, "Just missing Meg. The rest of my family is here."

I don’t want to say it, but I need to be honest with her, "I have to go, kid. I gotta stop those people hurting the kids for Meg. Then I have to deal with my dad.”

Her happy look is gone, “Take me with you. Don’t leave me alone.”

I grab her and hold her tight, “Anna is going to stay and Leo and Bernie. If I could get Jake to stay, I would but he’s being an ass.”

She shakes and snuggles into me more, “Don’t leave, Em. We’re safe here.”

I nod, “But those people that were going to hurt me, they’re hurting the little kids all the time now. We have to go save those kids. Remember, Meg wanted them all dead.”

She looks at me with her glossy, blue eyes, “Okay. Meg wanted them kids saved. She said that God loves all kids, no matter how they came to be here. She said them men was the devil and not servants of God at all."

I smiled, "No one knew God like Meg did."

Sarah's eyes glance around the room, "Uh, Em, just don’t bring them here.” She glances at Andy, “One bratty kid is enough.”

I laugh softly, “I’m taking that one with me.”

She shakes her head, “He isn’t so bad with Mary not being here to coddle him over everything. He wasn’t even hers.”

I don’t understand, “What?”

She nods, “When Marshall got to the cabin, he kept saying that she was lucky he found that brat for her, and she should be grateful he spared the soul of her baby.”

I wince, “Oh God.”

She nods and I wonder if she understands it all. I look at Andy, “So he isn’t like me?”

She shakes her head, “No. Meg said that’s why they let him live, like us. They was going to let us live too, ‘cause we’re normal.” Her words burn me, she doesn’t know it, but they do. I don’t say anything. I kiss her forehead and take a deep breath of her before I get up, “You help Anna with that kid then. If you want him to stay, you gotta do the work.”

She smiles, “I don’t like him that much, but I don’t hate him. Not the way I hated Mary. Meg said all he needed was a spanking.”

I laughed, “Well, don’t go overboard on those either. Beating someone rarely changes who they are, and only really makes you feel better for a short amount of time.” I learned that in a book of my dad’s. It was about parenting, single parenting.

I wave, “I’ll see you when I get back. Stay in the house with them, don’t stray, and take Leo everywhere with you.”

She nods, “Be safe."

I grin and leave the room. I hunt the house for Leo. I find him camped out. It’s his way of healing. He always hides under something. Old wolf instincts.

I crawl under the huge coffee table and curl into him. The smell of his fur makes my heart ache. I stroke him. He makes his wolf sound and licks my hand. I grab his huge face and make him look into my eyes, “You keep them safe. You stay safe. No coming after me, no matter what. I’ll come for you, I swear it. Even if I have to drag myself here from wherever I am, I’ll make it back, but you stay. You hear me?”