Reborn (5 page)

I
finally turned around to face him. “I didn’t want you to stop.”

“Then
what’s wrong?”

“I
just…I didn’t want you to stop, but I did…it just got too intense. I’m sorry.”
I looked down at the floor. “And I’m sorry—I accidentally broke your candle
holder. I’ll go back down and clean it up.”

“Don’t
worry about that. I’ll take care of it. And don’t be sorry, just
tell
me.” He reached down to coax my chin up so that my eyes met his again.

I
pursed my lips and nodded. I had just lied to the nicest, most genuine guy I
knew.

“I
do have to go,” I said. “I’ll call you tomorrow.”

He
nodded and stood in the doorway, watching me hurry away.

Tomorrow
came and went. Sunday slipped by. I didn’t call him. At school I didn’t meet
him at our usual empty janitor’s closet for a quick make out session before
homeroom. I managed to avoid him all the way up until lunchtime.

Anna
and I ate lunch with the rest of the squad and a few of the football players. 
This was the “popular table.” I guess I was supposed to be popular, but I
didn’t feel like it. Even before Jasper gave me my wings, I felt like I didn’t
fit in. Not just at school, like most kids feel—it ran deeper than that.
Sometimes it was like I was in the wrong place—that I didn’t belong
anywhere
.

Even
so, I knew our reputation, so I was a little surprised but impressed when Jimmy
marched up to our table. Even in just his faded jeans and characteristic white
t-shirt, he looked better than the two jocks sitting with us.

“Hi,”
Jimmy said shortly, nodding at the table in general.

“Hey,
loser,” our squad captain Tija mumbled.

Thankfully,
her highly original insult was covered up when one of the guys bellowed, “Hey,
Jim-BO!” He hopped to his feet and raised his hand to give Jimmy a hi-five.
Jimmy hit his hand half-heartedly.

“Can
I talk to you?” he said to me as I pretended to pick at my peanut butter and
jelly sandwich.

“Sure!”
I exclaimed, looking up attentively even though I knew what he was hinting at.

“I
mean…in private, for just a minute?”

“Can’t
we just talk here?” I tried my best to sound inconvenienced. “Anything you have
to say you can say in front of my friends.”

“Well,
okay…I was just wondering…” God, what was I doing to him? I’d never heard him
sound so nervous before. I didn’t think he even
got
nervous. “…what
color your Homecoming dress was.”

“Why
would you need to know that?” Tija piped up.

“Um,
because we’re going together.” Jimmy sounded like he was entertaining the question
of an annoying toddler.

I
took a deep breath. “Oh, you were serious about that?” I said in my best
oblivious voice. I could feel Anna glaring at me from across the table. “Sorry,
I thought you were joking. Anyway, I can’t go with you.”

Jimmy’s
expression was hard to read, but when he spoke again his tone simmered with
anger. “Really. Why’s that? Who are you going with?”

“She’s
Siobhan Elliot. She can go with whoever she wants,” Tija replied for me, her
voice like acid.

He
shrugged. “Well, I hope you have fun.”

The
rest of the table was already moving on, laughing and talking as if he weren’t
there anymore, but Jimmy held my gaze and mouthed one last word at me.

Coward.

“Nice
going,” Anna snapped. She gathered her lunch and her backpack and took off
after her brother.

***

Anna
and I have been sitting at her kitchen table in silence for a while, both deep
in thought. She’s the one to finally break it.

“I
know you never told me everything,” she says. “I don't think you really meant
to hurt him. Well, I guess you
did
...on purpose, so he'd stay
away."

I give an almost
imperceptible nod, and then try to cover even that up by putting a lock of hair
behind my ear. As always, Anna is spot on. I had been too scared to confide in
her and her brother, and it cost me both of their friendships. Anna hated me
afterwards, of course. She quit cheering when the season ended and immersed
herself in chorus and the school musicals. For the rest of the year, the
football players got up in Jimmy's face and bellowed things like "De-
nied
!"
and "Re-jected!" They weren't the only jerks, though. Jimmy's friends
called me Ice Princess.
He
didn't, but he didn't tell them to stop,
either. The nickname didn’t stick, but I spent the rest of high school
stringing boys along, always pulling back when things would get too hot and
heavy. I didn’t hook up with anyone regularly until Max.

“It
must have had something to do with…Jasper,” Anna realizes, pausing before
saying his name as though she can't get used to him having one. “Everything
fell apart after that night. He’s affected you in a way I can’t fully
appreciate. I want us to be friends again, Siobhan,” she admits, sounding
frustrated, “but you have to promise me that, when you’re ready, you’ll tell me
everything. I think it will make it easier for me to forgive you.”

“I promise,” I
say even though I’m not sure I can keep it. Being friends with her and Jimmy
would mean the world to me, but I can’t tell them Jasper turned me into some
kind of creature. Especially Anna—his black aura didn’t affect her like it did
me. She had sensed he was dangerous and insisted we leave. She wouldn’t be
talking friendship if she knew he transferred his darkness to me.

“So,
what are you going to do about Jasper? He’s made it clear he knows who we are,
but we still don’t know who or
what
he is.”

“I have no
idea.” My shoulders heave as I give a heavy sigh. “I guess just try to not fail
the class while at the same time figuring out what he is and why he’s
here."

“Piece of cake.”
Something about the combination of her nonchalance and the absurdity of the
situation makes us both burst out into hysterical laughter until we’re nearly
hyper-ventilating.

“I think I’d
better head back,” I say once I’ve recovered myself.

“Of course.
Please take the rest of these.” Anna thrusts the container of cookies into my
hands. “Maybe your sisters can help you eat them. Assuming sorority girls eat
cookies.”

“You have
no
idea.”

Chapter 6

I
finally have a dreamless night’s rest and awake
feeling refreshed the
next morning and ready to confront Jasper in class. Or if not confront, at
least be able to look at him without cowering in my seat. My armor is a
sleeveless leopard-print dress with a red belt and red sandals. Wearing my
favorite dress boosts my determination, and I walk into Dr. Mars’s class with
my head held high.

But
it turns out I didn't need my fashion shield today. The auditorium fills up,
but there's no sign of our dapper teaching assistant.

My
purse vibrates in my lap. It's yet another text from Max. My phone has been
blowing up with nonstop messages from him since late last night. This one says:

Siobhan,
what's up? Please txt or call me. Miss u.
It's punctuated with an animated
frowny face. I toss my phone into my purse.

I'm
only half-listening to Dr. Mars’s lecture about Gilgamesh. Instead, I fasten my
eyes on the door, waiting for Jasper to walk through it.

At
ten to eleven, it's pretty clear he's not coming. After assigning the next
readings, Dr. Mars lets us go. I lag behind the rush of undergraduates spilling
out of the doors, wondering if maybe he needs to stop by and check in with the
professor. While I linger in the hall, my phone buzzes once. Twice. I think
someone is trying to call me, but when I take my phone back out it’s Max again.

What's
up worried.

Horny
is more like it. I'm surprised to see the second text is from Anna:

Jim's
band is playing tonight. Come with me? Bring your sisters if you want.

I
stare at Anna's text until the backlight dims. Part of me doesn't think I can
handle any more drama. My hook up is turning into a stalker, and the mysterious
man who gave me my wings is my TA. The other part is dying to get a glimpse of
her old "beau," and she wins out. I can always surround myself with a
small army of my sorority sisters. I text Anna back "sure" and send
another message blast to the board to see if any of them want to tag along.

Awesome!
Anna replies later.
They’re playing at The End at eight.

I
have no idea what or where The End is.

Sounds
good
, I tell her.
Tanya and Carly can come. We’ll give you a ride.

That’s
ok. I have my truck. I don’t want to impose.

It’s
no problem! Meet us at the quad at 7:30.

My
sisters and I wait for Anna outside the house. When I see a tall, willowy
figure with a mane of glossy brown hair walking up the driveway, I slice my arm
back and forth through the air and cup my hands around my mouth.

“Anna!”

Anna’s
head jerks in our direction, and she gives a small, hesitant wave back. Her
eyes dart uneasily from one Greek house to the next as she approaches us.

I
present her to Tanya and Carly with a flourish of my hands.

“Guys,
this is Anna, my good friend from high school. Anna, these are my sisters Carly
and Tanya.”

Tanya
smiles but casts me a knowing look while Anna’s shaking Carly’s hand. I've told
her some of the story from high school before—the biased version where Jimmy
was a jerk, Anna was a bitch, and I was perfect.

“Shotgun!”
Tanya calls as we’re descending on Carly’s blue hatchback. I crawl into the
backseat with Anna. While the car purrs to life, Tanya searches for The End on
the GPS.

“I
can’t find it.”

“It’s
short for ‘The End of the World,’” Anna explains.

"That's
uplifting," Carly says wryly.

“We
don’t need that,” Anna tells Tanya, meaning the GPS. “It’s in Greenview. Make a
right at the next light,” she instructs Carly.

Once
we figure out where we’re going, we sink into an uncomfortable silence. Carly
finally turns some music on, and a rasping, British male voice singing about a
white wedding fills the car.

“What
is this?” Anna wonders.

“Billy
Idol.”

“Ugh,
I hate eighties music. The eighties were the beginning of the decline of pop
music.”

Carly
slams on the brake, sending us all reeling forward then slamming back into our
seats. Luckily, we’re on a side street, and no one’s behind us.

“Sorry,
I thought I saw a squirrel.” Carly’s knuckles are white on the steering wheel,
and I can see her baby blue eyes in the rearview mirror trying to make Anna’s
side of the backseat burst into flames. One glance at me and Carly’s grip on the
steering wheel slackens. She swallows her rage and shifts her foot to the
accelerator, easing the car gently onward. A swift punch cuts off Idol
mid-croon.

“I
like your shirt,” Tanya tells Anna a few beats later. She cranes her head
around the passenger’s side seat to face us. “I love wearing
my
boyfriend’s shirts, too. Boy clothes are
so
comfy.”

Anna
runs her fingers along the hem of her dark blue and black plaid flannel shirt.
“This is
my
shirt.”

Tanya’s
red lips make an “O,” but no sound comes out. She turns back to look out the
front window.

“So…are
you in a sorority?” Carly asks quickly.

“No.”
Anna scowls at the curls springing up over the top of the driver’s seat. “I
don’t need to pay to have friends. Um, no offense.” Anna regards me anxiously out
of the corners of wide eyes.

“We’re
here!” Carly announces with relief, saving me from having to pretend not to be
offended.

The
End of the World is a nondescript brick building with a green awning sandwiched
between a tanning salon and a sushi restaurant. All of the metered spaces on
Third Street are taken, so Carly cruises the side streets until we find a free
space in the residential part. The houses here are mostly red brick with
neglected yards and weathered fences. Greenview isn't one of the most
prosperous neighborhoods around Shadesburg—or one of the safest. We walk for
about three blocks to get back to The End.

“My
feet hurt already!” Tanya whines. Ahead of us, a twenty-something guy with a
green Mohawk and a gold septum ring holds open the door to The End for his
friends.

“Maybe
you shouldn’t have worn six-inch heels,” Carly tells her and points to her own
pair of red crushed velvet flats. Her shoes seem to be the same ones printed
underneath the iridescent letters of “Let’s Dance!” on her white tank top. Next
to her, Tanya oozes sex appeal in a pair of wedge heels—which
are
high,
but not actually six inches—gold spandex leggings, and a white lace halter top
plunging dangerously close to a wardrobe malfunction. My sisters and I cluster
together like three bright tropical fish stumbling into a sea of washed out
denim, leather, black ink and gold body piercings. In her flannel shirt and
jeans, Anna blends in much better, marching around us and accepting the door
from the bull-ring guy. Before going inside, I scan the poster plastered to the
front of it. There's a picture of a white skull amidst black flames at the
bottom, and there are inky tendrils coming off the bold, black letters of the
announcement:

The End is Nigh!

Music-alypse at The End!

featuring Black Orchid and Search and Destroy

Inside,
the bar is bustling, but not so crowded there’s no breathing room. The lighting
is dim, and the air is hazy with cigarette smoke. Booths and round wooden
tables stand between us and the bar. At the far end space has been cleared for
a microphone and sound equipment. There’s a guy setting up and tuning his
electric guitar. Anna claims one of the tables closest to the performance area.
I hurry to catch up with her while Tanya and Carly stop to get drinks at the
bar.

“Sorry
if that was awkward,” I say, sitting down beside her. Anna shakes her head.

“No,
I’m sorry,” she insists. “I shouldn’t have said that about sororities. You have
special rituals and bonding and stuff.” Her upper lip twitches in uncertainty
and perhaps a little disgust. “I just don’t get it because I don’t make friends
with other girls that easily.”

“I
know how they can come off, but Tanya and Carly are really nice once you get to
know them,” I tell her, then let it go with a smile as they join us, vibrant
cocktails in hand.

“I
think I
will
get something,” I say, standing. “Do you want anything?”

“No,
thanks,” Anna says, so I go up to the bar alone and ask the bartender for a
tonic water and lime with ice.

“Are
you ready for the end of the world?” asks a familiar voice behind me as I'm
watching the bartender prepare my simple order. I turn to see Jasper standing
there, smirking. Again, he's wearing dress pants and a white collared shirt
with no tie. I imagine his closet bursting with dozens of pairs of the same
stylish black slacks and crisp white shirts. The thought makes me laugh.

His
brow furrows. “It wasn’t
that
funny.”

I
shake my head. “It’s nothing. Shouldn't you be drinking a martini or
something?”

“Excuse
me?”

“The
beer. It doesn’t go with your…look.” I wave my hand in a circle over his
ensemble as I say it. My heart thuds in my chest, but there’s a playful grin on
my lips. “And your look—it doesn’t go with this club.”

“Neither
does yours, Ms. Gamma Lambda Phi.” Jasper’s chuckle is uncertain.

The
bartender hands me my drink, and I hand him some cash, tip included. I turn
back to Jasper. “Because charming, mysterious doctoral student fits right in.”

This
time he lets out a bark of laughter. He holds up his beer. “Cheers.”

I
give in and clink my glass against his bottle.

“You
weren't in class today,” I say after taking a sip of my tonic water. I
instantly regret it. Why would I let him know I noticed? It sounds like I care.

Jasper
drains the rest of his beer. “We had a meeting for all of the TAs,” he replies
after swallowing. “Did you miss me?” The question comes out lighthearted,
gently teasing, but there's a disturbing intensity in his eyes.

I
tear my gaze away from his and look at the glass in my hand. “I should get back
to my friends.”

“Wait,”
he insists. “Can we get coffee or something after this? I know a good place
close to here. I think we need to talk.” He sounds genuinely concerned.

“I
don't think so,” I say, but my voice lacks conviction. “Carly's my ride.”

“I
can get you back to campus safely.”

“I’m
sure, it’s just…I really should go back and do some work.” Could I sound any
lamer?

Jasper
hesitates. Realization dawns behind his eyes, and he frowns. “You really don’t
remember me, do you?”

Wait—he
thinks I don’t remember him? “Of course I do. We found you that night in the
forest.”

“That’s
not what I meant—”

“Is
everything okay here?” Suddenly Anna is standing next to me, and her suspicious
voice cuts Jasper off. “I think Black Orchid’s about to go on.”

Annoyance
flickers in Jasper’s eyes, but only for an instant. “Everything’s fine.”

“Ah,
here he is!” booms a fourth voice, this time from behind Jasper. “Getting
distracted by these lovely ladies.”

Dr.
Mars claps Jasper on the back. Then, he holds out his hand to me. “Miss Siobhan
Elliot, from my World Myths class.” His hand swallows mine when we shake.

“Hi,
Dr. Mars.”

“Eric,
please.” He offers his hand to Anna and looks at her expectantly.

“Anna
Wallace.” I can’t help but feel a sense of satisfaction as I watch Anna
dissolve under Dr. Mars’s arresting gaze. She might be able to resist Jasper’s
charms, but no one can ignore this giant of a man.

“This
is Pat,” Jasper says, nodding at a girl I didn’t even notice lurking behind Dr.
Mars. She must be another of Eric’s teaching assistants because Jasper adds,
“Every once in a while, Eric lets us see the light of day.”

“Or
at least the inside of a dingy bar,” Patricia teases. Just as striking as her
male companions (seriously, where are all of these absurdly attractive people
coming from?), she leans against one of the bar stools, stretching out like a
panther sunning itself. Obsidian hair snakes down her creamy white shoulders
and back. A strange, amused smile tugs at the corners of her wine red lips as
her yellow-green eyes dart from me to Anna and back again. The thigh high slit
in her black velvet dress makes her look longer and leggier than she really is;
when she pops off the stool and slinks over to me, our faces are level. She
brings hers so close to mine our noses almost touch. My stomach churns as I’m
hit with a blast of clashing scents that might be iron and roses.

“Your
eyes are an interesting color,” she tells me without smiling. She’s one to
talk.

“Thanks,”
I say. She tilts her head to the side, her probing eyes following me as I
shrink back from her. My foot twitches, but I resist the impulse to take a step
back.