Rebellion Project (15 page)

Chapter 26

Rehashing Old Wounds

“Could you believe how mad she was?” Kayden asked with a laugh as we entered my home. After the misunderstanding, and the fact that I was still shaken up, I asked for permission to leave. Principal Davis agreed, and apologized again before explaining she would attempt to get in touch with my father before he made it home from work. I was especially thankful that she offered, because explaining to him how I got busted for alcohol in my locker would have gone as well as being in the middle of a lion fight. I was just thankful for the few hours of peace.

“I don’t think I’ve ever been in her office unless it was to receive praise for something,” I said with a laugh as I shut the door behind me and was suddenly between him and the door. I looked up at him as my back pressed against the wooden entrance. I was hopeful that now we were behind closed doors he’d continue to be the guy I had been on a date with and the one who protected me in school. We hadn’t kissed as passionately since he kissed me good night on our last date. I had the urge to stand on my toes and change that, but my mind told me it was best to ignore the urgings of my heart.

“Why am I not surprised?” Kayden asked with a raised eyebrow and an accompanying smirk. There was a glimmer of humor in his eyes, which made me smile as he let out a breath of a laugh. If felt good to have him around when he could be like this, and so far he hadn’t lapsed back into the asshole I had known years before this. Why couldn’t he have been like this before? Maybe we would have gotten along without him trying to make amends to me.

I felt a wave of despair wash over me at the thought. I continually forgot that Kayden was only here because he was trying to fix what he had broken at the start of the year. I couldn’t help but forget how he treated me. He made it seem as if we were actually dating, especially with that kiss. I felt the heat take over my cheeks and quickly pushed the thought away.

“Probably because you considered me a goodie-goodie for the last five or so years of my life, started that awful nickname, and then made fun of me to make yourself feel better about being a delinquent,” I stated in order to get back on topic. I’d rather not have him ask why I was blushing or what was wrong. I wasn’t ready to open either of those doors yet in fear of what hid behind them.

“Oh, you have jokes now, do you?”

“I don’t know, do I? I haven’t noticed,” I said with a prideful smile as I walked past him into the kitchen. I lightly bumped into him on my way past and muttered an unapologetic ‘oops.’ Though I didn’t get very far, I managed to make it a few steps before I felt his arms snake around my waist and pull me back to him, right where I wanted to be in the first place.

“Where do you think you’re going?” he questioned with a mischievous smile. I tried to pull away, but he latched onto me tightly. “You aren’t going anywhere. I can’t have you talking back to me like that.” His fingers started to dance up my sides, causing me to erupt with laughter. “So where were you going?”

“I was escaping from you!” I cried out as he continued to tickle my sides, sending me crashing to the ground as I lost control and kicked my legs out until I fell. It didn’t help me get away from Kayden because he soon followed me to the floor to continue his attack on my sides.

“You can’t just make fun of me and think you’ll get away with it, Lauren!” He laughed as my stomach started to hurt from laughing through his assault on my sides.

“Yes I can!” I cried out as his fingers picked up their pace to move up and down my sides. I laughed uncontrollably until all the sound was lost from my voice. I was still laughing, but no sound was coming out. I was starting to cry from laughing so hard, and pleading with him to stop. “Kayden, stop!” I cried.

“Have you learned your lesson, Lauren?” he asked as he leaned into me, stopping his attack momentarily so I could catch my breath and answer. I felt the breath escape me though as I looked at his chiseled features. I hadn’t ever noticed before how he had a strong jaw, his eyes were striking, or how he smelled like summer’s rain. It was amazing what could happen when you give someone a second chance to be in your life. My breath caught in my throat the longer we were like this, but it seemed to go over Kayden’s head. “Lauren, have you learned your lesson?” he asked with a mischievous smile as his hands went back to my sides, threatening another tickle attack.

“I don’t think I have,” I said as I decided to follow my urges rather than listen to my mind.

I pushed off from the floor lightly and placed my lips on his. I heard him gasp slightly, but I continued until he relaxed again. Then once he had gotten over the shock, I laid back down and looked up into his blue eyes. There was shock, amusement, and something else sparkling in the ocean blues that I had come to love. I felt a pang of sadness take over my heart as he got off of me, but it was quickly replaced as he held out his hand for mine. I took his hand, and he swiftly lifted me off the ground and back into his arms.

“Good, because I haven’t either,” he stated as his lips met mine again.

I instantly molded my body to his, allowing him to become an extension of myself while we explored the possibility of what we had here—the emotions and sensations from a simple make-out session that made my body instantly crave more and more of him. It made me wonder if he wanted the same thing, and if I could give him what he wanted or needed. I had never had a make-out session before, I hadn’t even had my first kiss until the end of eighth grade, and that was on a dare. Although while I lacked experience I knew Kayden didn’t and it showed.

His lips where strong but gentle as they moved in sync with mine. There were times when he would be more forceful, attempting to show me what to do and how to do it. I followed his lead, and let my heart take over to prevent my mind from stopping this. Kayden licked my bottom lip tentatively. I knew he was asking for entrance, but I wasn’t sure what to do once I gave it to him. I took a deep breath and told myself I could trust him, he had shown that over the months we had been together. I could trust him to show me what to do.

I opened my mouth and let him explore his new territory. He moaned after a minute as his tongue collided with mine and we let our tongues tangle together in sweet agony. While my body and his were close together, and acting together, there was an indication that we weren’t one. My racing heart gave away that I was in fact just myself, and I was excited and nervous all at once. I wasn’t sure what to do, but I had seen movies and read books. So I decided to try what they had shown me.

I traced my hands slowly down his chest, allowing me to feel the definition of the muscles that weren’t visible unless he wore a tight shirt, or not shirt at all. A groan filled my throat as he bit my bottom lip gently and pressed himself against me.

“Mhmm,” I murmured as he hooked his hands onto my waist.

He pushed closer to me and grabbed the sides of my face to deepen the kiss, but unfortunately we were interrupted when the door opened. We scrambled to our feet only to meet the hostile gaze of my father. When my gaze met his, he wasted no time getting to the point.

“What are you doing here, Lauren?” he growled as his eyes flicked to Kayden, who stood unmoved by the anger in my father’s voice. “Why do you have company over when I’m not home, especially Kayden? Did you forget how to respect my house while you were out looking for your new freedom?” he questioned.

I flinched at his anger. I knew he wasn’t mad because I had been busy discovering myself, and brought Kayden along for the ride. If I had to guess, Principal Davis never got back to him to tell him the news that I was in the clear. “Well, I was given a pass to go home early from the principal, and Kayden just came with me.”

“Oh, the same principal who called me today to say they had found alcohol in your locker?” He paused momentarily so I didn’t have time to explain. “What were you thinking, Lauren? You could have gotten suspended, and then they would have put it on record for your colleges to see. I was fine with this change in lifestyle when it was just the clothes and the hair. Hell, I eventually became okay with the fact that you got a tattoo behind my back, but this? You can’t honestly think it’s okay to have alcohol in school.”

“I didn’t have the alcohol, Dad,” I said the moment he gave me time to get a word in edgewise. “I was framed, and Principal Davis was supposed to contact you again because they found out who did it.”

“Who would frame you? What do they have to gain from that?” he questioned, the disbelieving tone in his voice ringing loud and clear in my ears.

“Sir, if I may,” Kayden interjected. “Two girls who are jealous of your wonderful daughter are trying to get her in trouble. Luckily, Lauren has a great friend and she recorded their exchange and provided the required proof the principal needed to let her off the hook.”

“Where do you play into this?” Dad questioned, quickly turning his attention to Kayden.

“Dad―”

“No, Lauren, I want some answers! You’ve been
rebelling
,
as you call it, all while getting arrested and then close to getting suspended or worse. I was okay with this when you said the arrest was a one-time thing, but now I’m not so sure. What has gotten into you? Can’t you see that this isn’t good for you, and you’re only going to get into more trouble if you continue?”

“I’m sorry. I’ll make better mistakes tomorrow,” I said, my tone condescending and annoyed.

My father glowered at me, waiting to see if I would seriously apologize. When I didn’t he said the one thing he knew would hurt the most. “You’re no longer the girl you were, and you’ve replaced her with a delinquent who doesn’t care about her family. What would your mother say?”

“I’ve cared more about this family than you have,” I asserted. “I’m not the one who broke our family up. Mom encouraged me to do this. Maybe not all of it, I’ll give you that, but she’s the one that gave me the opportunity and the encouragement to try. And as for losing me, well let me tell you―”

“No,” he yelled back. “Let me tell you, you’re grounded and that’s final. You will not see him again, he’s a bad influence on you. Frankly, if you still listened to me like you used to, and still should, I’d have you break up with him right now. He’s changed you into this and―”

“And I like it!” I yelled. My father’s eyebrows rose in shock. “I’m not allowed to see him, right? But I guess you’re allowed to see his mom anytime, right?”

“Lauren!”

“No, Dad,” I said, preventing him from starting another comment before I could finish. “We worked this out, and now we’re just rehashing old wounds. You’re coming after me without all of the facts, and you’re not listening to Kayden. Worse, you’re talking about him like he isn’t even here. Clearly, you weren’t okay with my decision to act on my need to explore because you’re worried that I’ve ruined my future or something.”

“Because you have!”

“I haven’t ruined anything, Dad! I’m still in high school,” I cried out. “I have another four years to figure out what to do with my life. I have college to go to, then I can figure out what I want to do, but do you know what I don’t want to do?” I asked rhetorically, not even waiting for him to answer. “I don’t want to be a doctor. I don’t like blood and I hate hospitals! I won’t change my mind on that, and right now I just need you to support me. I need to know that you’re not going to fly off the handle every time you get a little bad news about me. Can’t you do that?”

“No, I can’t. I can’t support you now because you’re making bad choices! Look at what Kayden has made you into, and what he’s done to you over the last few months.”

“Kayden has helped me more than anything! I found love, and that means something more to me than a life I didn’t want to live! Yes, I look and act a little different, but Dad, I’m the same person! I’m still me, just a little more like I’ve always wanted to be instead of what you’ve wanted me to be, and you can’t accept that.”

“Of course I can’t!”

“Then you give me no other choice. I’m leaving until you can work through whatever hang up you have on this,” I said as I turned back on my heel and walked out. I didn’t have anything, but Parker would supply me with clothes and we could come to get my stuff after my dad left. I knew she’d help me, and make sure I continued. She was pleased with the change, as was I, and she’d said she’d be here for me if I needed her.

“If you walk out that door, then don’t come back,” my father threatened. I knew he was trying to get me under his control again, and if I gave in now then it would be over. I would never be free again, so I did the only thing I could do. I walked out without a second thought.

“Then I guess I won’t come back,” I said just before I slammed the door behind me.

Chapter 27

Oh Shit

It had been a few days since my dad and I had fought. Kayden had spent the day comforting me, and later that night Parker and I went to gather a few clothes and other necessities. I knew Parker’s parents would let me stay for a few days before they forced me to work things out with Dad, but I needed him to calm down before then. Otherwise, we would just end up screaming at each other and taking cheap shots until the other walked away.

Luckily today wasn’t that day. Kayden and I had gone over to his house to watch a movie, although I don’t think either of us was really watching the movie. I tried to ignore the nagging feeling as we were more interested in each other than the movie. It was becoming more difficult as we would sneak kisses and talk while wrapped in each other’s arms, and I would just get lost in his eyes the more I focused on him.

We had spent the entire time talking about each other, getting to know each other better than ever before. There was a deep connection between us, and it was growing the more time I spent with him. I couldn’t help but experience that same feeling I had weeks ago with him on our date, and a few times after. I refused to push it aside anymore, and Kayden seemed to have the same idea. We had gone on more dates, made out a few times, and I could feel the emotions escalating. I wondered where it would take us next. I was about to mention my thoughts to Kayden when a knock on the door interrupted us. We glanced at each other to see if the other knew who it was or what was going on. When we didn’t move, the knocking got louder and a voice came through the door.

“Lauren, I know you’re here. You’re not at Parker’s and you aren’t at home, so I know you’re here,” my father’s voice stated.

“Oh shit,” I cursed, causing Kayden to look at me in shock. I hadn’t cursed in front of him before and judging from the proud smile that curved onto his lips, he was pleased. I looked at Kayden to help me decide what to do, but I already knew his answer.

Kayden had told me I should talk to my dad about our feelings toward each other. He theorized that we were both angry because we were still hurt from the loss of my mother. While I had to agree I was still hurting, I also had to admit I’d probably never get over the loss. This was going to be our first real discussion about the changes in our lives. Either way, I was kind of nervous as I got up to open the door.

Kayden followed behind me, offering comfort and support through this hard time. I glanced back at him with worry in my eyes before I turned to the door. Sighing, I pulled the door open and poked my head outside first. My dad looked up as I opened the door, and as his green eyes instantly met mine, he gave me a small smile. That had to be a good sign, right?

“Hey,” I began, opening the door to him a little bit more. He was slouching as he stood outside. He normally stood up perfectly straight, even urged me to wear a brace so I did the same. Now, I wasn’t so sure this was good news.

“Hey,” he replied easily, his eyes squinting as he seemed to try to look at me closely without moving closer. “Can we talk?”

I wasn’t sure what to say, there wasn’t a right answer in this case and there was also no way out of it. Even if I didn’t want to have this conversation, I didn’t have another choice. He had boxed me into a corner. “What is there to talk about?” I questioned, leaning against the door frame for support.

My dad sighed, giving me a forced smile. “Both of our behaviors.”

I coughed nervously, trying to make up for the lack of noise around us. “What
exactly
about our behaviors?”

“How I’ve been treating you unfairly.” He let out a shaky breath of laughter, his eyes lighting up. “You haven’t changed at all, Lauren. You just became the person you always were, hidden under the pressure your mother and I put on you. Your mother saw it before I did, and before she could even explain it to me I messed up―” He shook his head, as if he could just imagine how our lives would have been different, but she was gone. She had died, and now we had to live in the wake of her death, both of us unable to heal the other while we were broken as well. “I know my behavior pushed you to change, because if I couldn’t follow the rules of a relationship, then how could you follow mine?”

I bit my lip, my eyes grazing over everything except him. That sounded like something I would do; it was exactly what I did. Maybe my dad did know me better than I thought, he clearly knew why I did this. He knew that because he couldn’t follow the rules, I wasn’t going to follow his anymore. There wasn’t a point to follow the rules if life wouldn’t work out when I did follow the rules.

My dad waited for me to say something, but I chose to remain silent. “I know I ruined your trust, and that I ruined our lives by cheating. I didn’t know how to react when your mother left me, we had promised forever, and it didn’t happen. I was mad at her because she left, but she only left because of me. She had the same understanding as you, if I couldn’t follow the rules how could she? She saw you for what you wanted to be and knew we were holding you back. She gave you as much freedom as she could to encourage you to be more like how you wanted to be, but I couldn’t.” He shook his head again. “You must have gotten your craziness from your mom because I never would have acted like you did. I would have still followed the rules set before me, but your mom and you, you broke them and you made yourselves better for it.”

I smiled, my eyes on my dad’s sullen expression as it changed into a bright lively smile.

“You both were so much happier when you stopped living by the rules I had set for you. There was a new spring in your step, and a livelier temperament about you both. You both found a happier time from breaking the rules and being yourselves out of the bounds of society,” he said, letting a soft smile take over his features.

“I am pretty happy,” I said as I glanced back at Kayden with a smile. “I was pretty smart to act on my gut instead of following the rules this time.”

My dad nodded. “I can see that. You still are smart too, Lauren.” His eyes met mine as he added, “And a natural rule breaker with a habit of walking out.” The way he said it wasn’t a put down. In fact, he said it with what could only be described as exuberance in his voice. “Kind of like how I was at your age. I think that’s what angers me the most about you, Lauren. You’re so much like me now and I spent the better part of my parenthood trying to make it so you weren’t like me. I didn’t want you to be like me, and I failed.”

I couldn’t stop myself from gaping at his words. He had the nerve to call me and my mom crazy, but
he
was the crazy one. He was the one I got it from, and Mom and I just went with it whereas he tried to stop it.

“You can’t be serious,” Kayden said behind me as he tried to control his laugh and the excitement that laced his words.

He nodded at Kayden’s words. “I was a bit of a rebel myself too, Kayden. You and Lauren aren’t the only ones allowed to run wild, get arrested, and have some fun as teenagers.” He furrowed his eyebrows. “Except, you’re worse than I was.” To my surprise, he smiled after he said that. Then he used his words as a segue into a topic that I had anticipated when I came in here. “
I
was never romantically involved with the person I was rebelling with.” He shrugged his broad shoulders before adding, “but then again I didn’t have to. I did what Kayden did, I fell for the good girl and it lasted until I messed up. I was so against you and Kayden dating because there’s going to be a time that he messes up, and it will turn out exactly like your mother and I did.”

I rolled my eyes at his words, but couldn’t hide the amused smirk on my lips. That segue was sneaky, yet clever as well. I hadn’t even had time to prepare to explain myself before he brought it up. It snuck up on me like a thief in the night. “Yeah, but I’m different and so is he, huh?”

“Sure you guys are.”

I waited for a second, expecting him to burst into a sudden fit of anger and yell at me for my poor decisions, but the yelling never came. There was just silence. Silence that I was forced to break. “So, you don’t care that Kayden and I are…” I fished for a word to explain us, “…together?”

He furrowed his dark eyebrows. “Hell yeah, I care. Any father would care if his daughter was dating a guy who acts like he did as a teenager. I know exactly what Kayden’s thinking about because I was there once myself.”

I furrowed my eyebrows, sure that we looked similar with our matching expressions. “And what’s that?”

My dad smirked, but luckily didn’t delve further into the topic. I wasn’t ready for
The Talk
with my dad. “Well, as I was saying, of course I care that you two are together. I understand that his mother is fine with it, especially since our relationship is over, but I’m a bit uncomfortable with the idea of the two of you being involved.”

I gagged slightly, seeing where this conversation had the possibility of going.

“So, if you two can stick to some rules about the dating and can continue to stay out of trouble like you have been, then I’m fine with you two seeing each other.” He sighed deeply. “From what his mother tells me, while you are misbehaving, Kayden has actually been behaving better. Their relationship healed up quite nicely, they are more of a family, and he stays home and not out with his other friends as much. I am glad to know you had that effect on him.”

I smiled to myself as I looked back at Kayden and motioned for him to join me at the door. He lifted his eyebrows in shock and then joined me with an awkward smile. My father nodded at him before he continued.

“I would like to remind you that you may think I forgot about your mother when she died, but I didn’t. I loved her and I still do. I always will, no matter my mistake because that’s what it was…a mistake.” He shifted his eyes downward, as if he was afraid to look Kayden in the eye after saying it. “I would have traded places with her in a heartbeat if it meant that she would be here with you now. I would have done anything for her and I’d do anything for the both of you, even if you can’t see that.”

I knotted my hands together, focusing on them as I mumbled, “But you cheated on her while she was still alive. Why would you do that if you loved her as much as you say you did?”

“It was a mistake. There are weak moments in our lives, we can’t find out when they will be or what they are about, but they will happen. You have to hope you won’t make a mistake, but that’s what life is about. You live and learn,” he said with a knowing smile before he took a calming breath. “So will you please come back home, Lauren? I understand that we have a lot more to work out, but I don’t want you to feel like you can’t come home. I’m not mad anymore, I came to terms with it.”

“How so?”

“I finally looked over what your mother left me in her will,” he said with a sad sigh. “She left me a letter telling me why she did it, why she was giving everything to you. It made me feel sorry for how I was treating you and how little I thought of her by thinking she was doing it to spite me. While we had cleared the air before I still had a little resentment, and that’s just me being honest.”

“What did it say?”

“She was leaving you everything so that you could explore the new life she had given you. It wasn’t because she no longer trusted me, it was because she wanted to give you everything you needed to try out this new life and style for yourself without my influence. She did this for you, and she did it for us. She saw that I was leading you down the wrong path. She noticed how you reacted to the sight of blood and lacerations, and knew you didn’t want to be a doctor. She gave you what I couldn’t, an opportunity to be something different than what the expectations were. She even left money for your college and says it can go to wherever you want to go, whether in state, out of state, or abroad. Pick it and it’s yours, just please come home and let’s work this out.”

I looked at Kayden, who offered me a gentle smile as comfort. “I will,” I promised. Honestly, for the first time, I was thrilled to go home, and felt that everything was going my way. Although, I should have known, with a new lifestyle came new problems and not everything would be fixed quite so easily.