Rebellion & In From The Cold (43 page)

“Of course we don’t drink the bloody stuff.” Payne offered his, as well. Alanna took both. “The
English could force it down our throats and we’d spit it back at them.”

Alanna swallowed a smile. “Naturally.”

As the trio entered the parlor, Serena rose. “Ah, Alanna, I see you’ve met my young beasts.” With a considering look, she noted the black eye and bloody lip. “If it’s cake the pair of you are after, then you’ll wash first.” As they raced off, she turned to introduce Alanna to the others in the room. There was a boy of perhaps eighteen she called Kit, who had his mother’s coloring and a quick smile. A young girl she measured as Brian’s age, with hair more blond than red, dimpled prettily.

“Kit and Fiona will drag you off to the stables at every opportunity,” Serena warned. “My daughter Amanda hopes to join us for dinner tonight with her family. They live at a neighboring plantation.” She poured the first cup of coffee and offered it to Alanna. “We won’t wait for Brigham and the others. They’re off overseeing the planting and the good Lord knows when they might come in.”

“Mama says you live on a farm in Massachusetts,” Fiona began.

“Aye.” Alanna smiled and relaxed a little. “There was snow on the ground when I left. Our planting season is much shorter than yours.”

The conversation was flowing easily when the twins came back, apparently united again as their arms were slung around each other’s shoulders. With identical grins they walked to their mother and kissed each cheek.

“It’s too late,” Serena told them. “I already know about the vase.” She poured two cups of chocolate. “It’s a good thing it happened to be an ugly one. Now sit, and try not to slop this over the carpet.”

Alanna was at ease and enjoying her second cup of coffee when a burst of male laughter rolled down the hall.

“Papa!” The twins cried and leaped up to race to the door. Serena only glanced at the splotch of chocolate on the rug and sighed.

Brigham entered, ruffling the hair of the boys on either side of him. “So, what damage have you done today?” Alanna observed that his gaze went first to his wife. There was amusement in it, and something much deeper, much truer, that lighted a small spark of envy in her breast. Then he looked at Alanna. Nudging the boys aside, he crossed the room.

“Alanna,” Serena began, “this is my husband, Brigham.”

“I’m delighted to meet you at last.” Brigham took her hand between both of his. “We owe you much.”

Alanna flushed a little. Though he was old enough to be her father, there was a magnetism about him that set a woman’s heart aflutter. “I must thank you for your hospitality, Lord Langston.”

“No, you must only enjoy it.” He shot his wife a strange and, what seemed to Alanna, exasperated look. “I only hope you will remain happy and comfortable during your stay.”

“How could I not? You have a magnificent home and a wonderful family.”

He started to speak again, but his wife interrupted. “Coffee, Brig?” She had already poured and was holding out the cup with a warning look. Their discussions over her matchmaking attempt had yet to be resolved. “You must be thirsty after your work. And the others?”

“Were right behind me. They stopped off briefly in the library.”

Even as he spoke, two men strode into the room. Alanna only vaguely saw the tall, dark-haired man who was a younger version of Brigham. Her stunned eyes were fixed on Ian. She wasn’t even aware that she had sprung to her feet or that the room had fallen into silence.

She saw only him, dressed in rough trousers and jacket for riding, his hair windblown. He, too, had frozen into place. A dozen expressions crossed his face, as indeed they crossed hers. Then he smiled, but
there was an edge to it, a hardness that cut her to the quick.

“Ah, Mrs. Flynn. What an … unusual surprise.”

“I—I—” She stumbled to a halt and looked around wildly for a place to retreat, but Serena had already risen to take her hand. She gave Alanna’s fingers a short, firm squeeze.

“Alanna was good enough to accept my invitation. We wanted to thank her in person for tending you and keeping you alive to annoy us.”

“I see.” When he could tear his gaze from Alanna, he sent his aunt a furious look. “Clever, aren’t you, Aunt Serena?”

“Oh, aye,” she said complacently. “That I am.”

At his side, Ian’s hands curled into fists. They were twins of the one in his stomach. “Well, Mrs. Flynn, since you’re here, I’ll have to welcome you to Glenroe.”

“I …” She knew she would weep and disgrace herself. “Excuse me, please.” Giving Ian a wide berth, she raced from the room.

“How gracious of you, Ian.” With a toss of her head, Serena went after her guest.

She found Alanna at the wardrobe, pulling out her clothes.

“Now, what’s all this?”

“I must go. I didn’t know—Lady Langston, I thank you for your hospitality, but I must go home immediately.”

“What a pack of nonsense.” Serena took her firmly by the shoulders and led her toward the bed. “Now sit down and catch your breath. I know seeing Ian was a surprise, but—” She broke off as Alanna covered her face with her hands and burst into tears.

“Oh, there, there, sweetheart.” In the way of all mothers, she put her arms around Alanna and rocked. “Was he such a bully, then? Men are, you know. It only means we must be bigger ones.”

“No, no, it was all my fault. All my doing.” Though humiliated, she couldn’t stem the tears and laid her head on Serena’s shoulder.

“Whether it was or not, that’s not something a woman should ever admit. Since men have the advantage of brawn, we must use our better brains.” Smiling, she stroked Alanna’s hair. “I wanted to see for myself if you loved him as much as I could see he loved you. Now I know.”

“He hates me now. And who could blame him? But it’s for the best,” she wept. “It’s for the best.”

“He frightens you?”

“Aye.”

“And your feelings for him frighten you?”

“Oh, aye. I don’t want them, my lady, I can’t have them. He won’t change. He’ll not be happy until he gets himself killed or hanged for treason.”

“MacGregors don’t kill easily. Here now, have you a handkerchief? I can never find one myself when it’s most needed.”

Sniffling, Alanna nodded and drew hers out. “I beg your pardon, my lady, for causing a scene.”

“Oh, I enjoy a scene, and cause them whenever possible.” She waited to be sure Alanna was more composed. “I will tell you a story of a young girl who loved very unwisely. She loved a man who it seemed was so wrong for her. She loved in times when there was war and rebellion, and death everywhere. She refused him, time and time again. She thought it was best.”

Drying her eyes, Alanna sighed. “What happened to them?”

“Oh, he was as pigheaded as she, so they married and had six children. Two grandchildren.” Her smile blossomed. “I’ve never regretted a single moment.”

“But this is different.”

“Love is always the same. And it is never the same.” She brushed the hair from Alanna’s cheek. “I was afraid.”

“You?”

“Oh, aye. The more I loved Brigham, the more frightened I was. And the harder I punished us both by denying my feelings. Will you tell me of yours? Often it helps to speak with another woman.”

Perhaps it would, Alanna thought. Surely it could hurt no more than it already did. “I lost my brother in the war with the French. I was only a child, but I remember him. He was so bright, so beautiful. And like Ian, he could think of nothing but to defend and fight for his land, for his beliefs. So he died for them. Within a year, my mother slipped away. Her heart was broken, and it never mended. I’ve watched my father grieve for them, year after year.”

“There is no loss greater than that of ones you love. My father died in battle twenty-eight years ago and I still see his face, so clear. I left my mother in Scotland soon after. She died before Amanda was born, but still lives in my heart.” She took both of Alanna’s hands, and her eyes were damp and intense. “When the rebellion was crushed, my brother Coll brought Brigham to me. He had been shot and was near death. In my womb I carried our first child. We were hiding from the English in a cave. He lingered between life and death.”

So Ian’s stories to Brian were true, she thought as she stared at the small, slender woman beside her. “How could you bear it?”

“How could I not?” She smiled. “He often says I willed him back to life so that I could badger him. Perhaps it’s true. But I know the fear, Alanna. When this revolution comes, my sons will fight, and there is ice in my blood at the thought that I could lose them. But if I were a man, I would pick up a sword and join them.”

“You’re braver than I.”

“I think not. If your family were threatened, would you hide in a corner, or would you take up arms and protect them?”

“I would die to protect them. But—”

“Aye.” Serena’s smile bloomed again, but it was softer, more serious than before. “The time will come, and soon, when the men of the Colonies will realize we are all one. As a clan. And we will fight to protect each other. Ian knows that now. Is that not why you love him?”

“Aye.” She looked down at their joined hands.

“If you deny that love, will you be happier than if you embraced it and took what time God grants you together?”

“No.” She closed her eyes and thought of the past three months of misery. “I’ll never be happy without him—I know that now. And yet, all of my life I dreamed of marrying a strong, quiet man, who would be content to work with me and raise a family. With Ian, there would be confusion and demands and risks. I would never know a moment’s peace.”

“No,” Serena agreed. “You would not. Alanna, look into your heart now and ask yourself but one question. If the power were yours, would you change him?”

She opened her mouth prepared to shout a resounding “Aye!” But her heart, more honest than her head, held another answer. “No. Sweet Jesus, have I been so much a fool not to realize I love him for what he is, not for what I wish he might be?”

Satisfied, Serena nodded. “Life is all risk, Alanna. There are those who take them, wholeheartedly, and move forward. And there are those who hide from them and stay in one place. Which are you?”

For a long time Alanna sat in silence. “I wonder, my lady—”

“Serena.”

“I wonder, Serena,” she said, and managed a smile, “if I had had you to talk with, would I have sent him away?”

Serena laughed. “Well, that’s something to think about. You rest now, and give the lad time to stew.”

“He won’t want to talk to me,” she muttered, then set her chin. “But I’ll make him.”

“You’ll do,” Serena said with a laugh. “Aye, you’ll do well.”

Ian didn’t come to dinner, nor did he appear at breakfast the next morning. While this might have discouraged most women, for Alanna it presented exactly the sort of challenge she needed to overcome her own anxieties.

Added to that were the Langstons themselves. It was simply not possible to be in the midst of such a family and not see what could be done with love, determination and trust. No matter what odds they had faced, Serena and Brigham had made a life together. They had both lost their homes, their countries and people they loved, but had rebuilt from their own grit.

Could she deny herself any less of a chance with Ian? He would fight, certainly. But she began to convince herself that he was too stubborn to die. And if indeed she were to lose him, was it not worth the joy of a year, a month or a day in his arms?

She would tell him so. If she ever ran the fool to ground. She would apologize. She would even, though it grated, beg his forgiveness and a second chance.

But as the morning whiled away, she found herself more irritated than penitent. She would apologize, all right, Alanna thought. Right after she’d given him a good, swift kick.

It was the twins who gave her the first clue as to where to find him.

“You were the one who spoiled it,” Payne declared as they came poking and jabbing at each other into the garden.

“Hah! It was you who set him off. If you’d kept your mouth shut we could have gone off with him. But you’ve such a bloody big—”

“All right, lads.” Serena stopped clipping flowers to turn to them. “Fight if you must, but not here. I won’t have my garden trampled by wrestling bodies.”

“It’s his fault,” they said in unison, and made Alanna smile.

“I only wanted to go fishing,” Ross complained. “And Ian would have taken me along if
he
hadn’t started jabbering.”

“Fishing.” Alanna crushed a blossom in her hand before she controlled herself. “Is that where Ian is?”

“He always goes to the river when he’s moody.” Payne kicked at a pebble. “I’d have convinced him to take us, too, if Ross hadn’t started in so Ian was snarling and riding off without us.”

“I don’t want to fish anyway.” Ross stuck up his chin. “I want to play shuttlecock.”

“I want to play shuttlecock,” Payne shouted, and raced off to get there first.

“I’ve a fine mare in the stables. A pretty chestnut that was a gift from my brother Malcolm. He knows his horseflesh.” Serena went on clipping flowers. “Do you like to ride, Alanna?”

“Aye. I don’t have much time for it at home.”

“Then you should take advantage of your time here.” She gave her young guest a sunny smile. “Tell Jem at the stables I said to saddle Prancer for you. You might enjoy riding south. There’s a path through the woods just beyond the stables. The river’s very pretty this time of year.”

“Thank you.” She started to dash off, then stopped. “I—I don’t have a riding habit.”

“Hattie will see to it. There’s one of Amanda’s in my trunk. It should suit you.”

“Thank you.” She stopped, turned and embraced Serena. “Thank you.”

Within thirty minutes, Alanna was mounted.

* * *

Ian did indeed have a line in the water, but it was only an excuse to sit and brood. He’d given brief consideration to strangling his aunt for her interference, but before he’d gotten the chance she had burst into his room and raked him so completely over the coals that he’d had nothing to do but defend himself.

Aye, he’d been rude to her guest. He’d meant to be.