Authors: J. A. Souders
She digs her own fingers into my hair, tangling them through the strands and pulling me closer to nip at my bottom lip. My pulse jumps, but I force myself to take this slowly. I move my hands unhurriedly back upâunder the dressâsavoring the feel of her skin against mine.
It's the most delicious sensation I've ever felt.
My hands grip her hips and pull her closer, so my pants and her thin dress are the only things separating us.
I push her back against the wall and she makes this little sound that makes my blood pressure skyrocket.
She moves her hands under my shirt and I shiver when her cold hands press against my flesh, but I love it. Almost more than I like the feel of her silky hair between my fingers or her taste that's unlike anything else.
All of the past emotions disappear. Evie is what matters now. Anything else is inconsequential.
She moves her hands from my stomach to my back and up to my shoulders, and I move mine to her thighs and hitch her up, so she wraps her legs around my waist.
My hands return to their previous position on the naked skin of her waist and continue their upward track, sweeping over her rib cage, as our breaths turn to ragged gasps. My whole body is on fire, each movement scorching my already smoldering flesh.
I love every moment of it.
I pause again, just below the curve of her breasts. My whole body is shaking with want and need.
She kisses right under my ear and I shiver. “I love you, Gavin.”
“Say it again,” I whisper.
Her eyes are confused, but she says, “I love you andâ”
I kiss her again. “That's it. That's all I need to hear,” I say against her lips. “I love you.”
She pulls me closer, then whispers in my ear. “I need you.”
I push back, my brows furrowed to look at her, confused as to what she really wants.
“Don't you want me?” Hurt swirls in her eyes.
“More than I want my next breath,” I say.
She smiles. “Then what's the problem?”
“Are you sure?”
“As sure as I'm here right now.” She drags me back down to her, and says in my ear, “I want you to be my first, last, and only. I want to be
your
first and only.” Then she presses her lips against mine in a way that leaves no room for questions or doubts or nerves.
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Today I wear the dress of the Enforcer and the mask of the revolution. I wear them not to hide, but to reveal my true self.
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E
VIE'S JOURNAL
Evie
I wake feeling lighter than I have in a while. And not just because Gavin's in my bed either. Although that's not exactly a hardship. It's because, with him, there's no pretense. I don't have to be someone I'm not. I don't have to pretend I know the answer to every question. Or the solution to every problem. I don't have to be Evelyn, Daughter of the People. Or Miss Evelyn, leader of the revolutionary Underground. I can just be Evie.
It's wonderful having him back,
I think, looking over at Gavin.
“If you're going to stare, can you do it more quietly? I'm trying to sleep over here.”
I laugh and shove him slightly. “I'm so sorry I woke his royal highness with my loud thoughts.”
Gavin opens his eyes. Before I can do more than laugh-scream, he's got me tackled on the bed, his hands on mine. And then he's kissing me and I stop thinking altogether.
When he kisses me until my mind is completely empty and the breath stolen from my lungs, I gently try to push him away, but he won't let me up.
“Come on, Neanderthal, let me up. I've got to get clothes on.”
“What's wrong with what you're wearing?”
“I'm not wearing anything!” I say with a laugh.
“I'm still not seeing the problem. You look gorgeous. You're absolutely perfect.”
I push slightly away from him. “Asher told me something about perfect once. When we were on the Surface.”
“Asher isn't exactly someone I want to be talking about at this moment.” He lifts an eyebrow. “But ⦠what was it?”
“That there really is no such thing as perfect, because everyone's version of perfect is different. And that no matter how perfect you think something is, there's cracks and flaws.”
Gavin shrugs. “I can't argue with any of that.”
“So ⦠my question is, am I perfect to you because I'm perfect? Because that's what Mother made me to be? Or do you see
me
?”
He laughs. “Oh, you're far from perfect, Evie. Just like me. You're stubbornâ”
“What's wrong with being stubborn?” I interject.
He kisses me, to shut me up, I'm sure. “You're
annoyingly
stubborn. About
everything.
You always think you're right. And you usually are. You have no sense of what your true worth really is, even though everyone around you sees it. And the most annoying of all: You have this habit of tying a guy up in knots and making him want to do absolutely anything for youâno matter how difficult or impossible the taskâjust to see you smile.”
For more than a second I'm speechless. Finally I manage a question. “And that's a bad thing?”
He laughs and presses another kiss to my mouth. “Yes, but also absolutely, beyond a doubt, the reason I love you. So, yeah, I see you.”
The muffled sound of a throat clearing comes from the doorway. Gavin groans and pulls away, making sure we're both covered with the blanket.
“I don't mean to interrupt your reunion,” Asher's voice calls through the wood, “but Mother's made her move. You're probably going to want to see this.”
Gavin and I toss on our clothes and hurry out the door, catching up to Asher just as he turns into the War Room. Everyone is already there, including Lenore. I thought she looked bad when she came back, but now she looks even worse. She appears to have aged more than a few years in the last few hours.
In her hands is a data screen, but she's not looking at it. She's gawking at the picture on the monitor Asher set up for us to keep an eye on activities in Elysium. The one where two Enforcers lay crumpled and piled on top of each other on the floor just outside the Palace Wing, as if they'd just been tossed out like trash.
A fresh wound slices across my heart.
“She's completely unhinged,” I whisper. I turn away from the image. I can't take any more death. “I have to talk to them. This has to end.”
No one argues with me this time.
I turn to Lenore. “I know you've just gotten here, but I need to know if you can deactivate our nanites.”
She stares at her data screen. “I've been trying to answer that same question since you left. I don't know.” She meets my eyes. “The changes that have been made since I left have made them almost a completely different machine than the ones I designed. I need more time and samples. I need to see the new machines in person.”
“Fine. We'll make sure you get them.”
“Also,” she says. “The files here are just a bunch of technical specs on the device Evangeline told me Mother gave the Enforcers. Is there anything else?”
“We have access to all of Mother's records she kept on the mainframe. I'm sure Dr. Friar's notes are there as well. You're welcome to pull anything you need from them. Asher.” He looks over at me. “Help her access them.”
He nods and signals for his grandmother to join him.
I pull Gavin off to the side. “While she's working on the nanite issue, I have another problem only you can help me with.”
He nods solemnly. “How can I help?”
“There are tunnels that we believe lead to the Surface. We thought we could funnel people from Elysium through here to them and up to the Surface, but we still have the nanite problem. As soon as anyone comes close to the end of the field, their nanites do what mine did. But we have Lenore now, so I need you to make sure that the tunnels are even viable.”
He groans. “The last time I followed tunnels I didn't know, I almost died.”
I pat his arm. “And you also met me.”
“I got it. I'll take care of it.”
“Good, because I have to give these people some kind of good news.”
I walk him to where the tunnels start and hand him a few flashlights. He isn't gone long before he returns. “I need rope. Or string. A lot of it. That way I can use it to make sure I find my way back.”
“There's some where the life support system is,” Nadia says behind me. “The excavation crews left huge spools of it. Hopefully it'll be enough. I'll have people bring them here.”
Ten minutes later, he's got the metal rope tied to his waist and he's starting back into the pitch-black tunnel. I sit on the ground next to a spool that's twice as tall as I am with instructions that when the first spool runs outâif it doesâI tie the second spool to the first line and do the same for the second and the third. Until he returns.
Somewhere near three hours later and getting close to spool three, I begin to get worried. The rope hasn't moved for almost an hour. I've been pacing around the spool for the last thirty minutes. People have filtered in and out, so I know word's gotten out that I'm doing something about a way out, but no one says anything to me. They just peer into the dark. Some sit, but most leave after a few minutes.
Suddenly, I see something coming at me through the dark. I can just barely make out the light beam. I sincerely hope it's Gavin, but I prepare myself for the possibility that it's not. It doesn't take long before Gavin, dirty but unharmed, steps back into the light.
I lift my eyebrows in question and he grins, nodding. I whoop and jump the distance between us as he hugs me one-handed. Today's the day everything changes. I can feel it.
Even though he never actually states it's an exit, word spreads like wildfire around the Caverns that the tunnels are a way out. I get stopped I don't know how many times so people can ask me if it's true as I make my way toward the War Room to find out if Lenore's made any headway.
I only happily smile and nod to their questions. The relief on everyone's faces as I pass them bandages a small part of my heavy heart. We still have a ways to go, but we're closer than we've ever been before.
When I step into the War Room, Lenore and Asher are still poring over files and I stop myself from demanding an update. It's obvious that they haven't come up with a solution yet, or they'd have told me. Besides, it's only been three hours. Lenore said she needed time. I just have to be patient.
“Evie!” Father's voice booms from the vid screen, startling everyone in the room. Lenore slams a hand to her chest and for a minute I worry something's wrong with her heart, but then she glares at Father.
“You scared me.”
“Sorry.” He barely spares her a glance before returning his attention to me. “Mother is planning something. She has all of her Guards going door-to-door with this.” He holds the paper and reads from it. “âCitizens of Elysium, there will be an assembly at four p.m. in the Square. Attendance is mandatory.'”
Conversations burst to life again. Part of me is completely gratified that Mother has had to resort to this to make sure the word is passed along about the first assembly she's held since we cut her communications, but part of me is worried, too.
Why
is she holding an assembly? Surely she got her point across with the Enforcers' bodies in the Square. Technically, it's my move. Not hers.
I guess I was right. Today
is
the day that changes everything.
In four hours there will be the moment of truth. Will there be anyone who stands with me? Or will I stand there alone?
“Well, I guess it's time to recruit some Enforcers,” I say.
Gavin takes my hand and squeezes it. I squeeze back, letting him know I appreciate him standing beside me when I need him the most.
Asher readies the vid system to link into the com channel as I walk to my room and grab my garb. The dress of the Enforcer. The mask of the revolution. And today I wear them not to hide myself, but to reveal my true self.
I slip into the clothing, but leave the mask off and the hood down. For now. With all the children now here, it's best I not scare them. I step from my room and back into the War Room. Asher glances over before quickly returning to his work, but Gavin stops and stares at me.
“Promise me you'll follow your instincts. If they're telling you to get the hell out of there, do it. We can always have a go at it another way.”
“I will. I have no wish to die by Mother's hand today,” I say.
“It's not Mother's hand I'm worried about.”
I kiss his cheek. “I'll be fine. Mother's killing
them
now. I'm sure they'll hear me out.”
“Just ⦠don't take any unnecessary chances.”
My heart beats frantically in my chest, but I smile. “Shouldn't I be saying that to you? You're the Surface Dweller.”
He doesn't smile. “Promise me.”
I roll my eyes in the hopes of teasing out that smile. “All right. All right. I promise.”
He leans down and whispers in my ear. “You have my heart, Evie. Make sure you keep it safe.”
“I love you,” I whisper.
He presses his lips to mine and I can feel him fighting to stop himself from demanding more before he gently pushes me away.
The worry in his eyes is doing nothing to help my nerves, but as I take those steps away from him, I go with a light heart. Because I know today is the day that, for better or worse, everything changes.
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It is the cause, not the death, that make the martyr.