Rebel Temptress (Historical Romance) (5 page)

Honor's eyes swept his handsome face, wondering what he was thinking as he stared at her so long and hard. Jordan's eyes traveled from her black-clad body, and he was reminded once more of how young she was. For a moment he questioned his sanity in marrying a mere child.

"Sleep well, Honor," he told her as he crossed the room. Then he turned to her at the door. "I hope J can. Something tells me that you will haunt my dreams tonight."

She stared at the door for a long time after he left. Did not married couples sleep together? Maybe he did not want to be with her because of her illness. She felt excitement at the thought of lying beside Jordan. She had no idea what happened between a husband and wife, but she was sure it would be very pleasant. Otherwise why would a man and woman bother to be married?

Honor slipped out of her black gown and into her high-necked white cotton nightdress. Then she climbed into her bed and fell asleep almost the moment her head hit the pillow.

* * *

Jordan poured himself a glass of wine and stood staring out into the twilight. The sun was going down on his wedding day, and his child bride was asleep in her room. How different his wedding had been from what he had planned. If he had married Meagan, as he had wanted, he would be in her bed this very moment. He pulled the heavy draperies together and seated himself in the tall wingback chair.

Meagan was no innocent virgin, as Honor was, nor had Jordan been the first man to be with her. He remembered the first time he had made love to her. He had been out riding one day when he came upon a secluded part of Green Rivers, where he had swum as a child. He had hardly believed his eyes when he saw Meagan swimming alone. They had both been eighteen at the time. He dismounted and sat on the riverbank, watching her, fascinated. She laughingly challenged him to enter the water. He had dreamed of her so often, but she had seemed to prefer older men to escort her to the many community functions, and she had paid little heed to him. He felt excitement as she stood up, revealing the fact she wore nothing. The water glistened on her perfectly shaped breasts. The look in Meagan's eyes taunted him, daring him to accept her offer.

"I will have to strip," he told her boldly.

"Do so," she said, meeting his challenge. "For I can assure you I have no more clothes on than the day I was born."

Later he was to wonder if she had planned to lure him into the water, for she knew he rode by the river every day on his way to the fields. But at the time he had been unable to think of anything but being with her.

It had taken no time for him to dispose of his clothing and dive into the water. Meagan teased him and swam just out of his reach, until he thought he would go mad. Then finally she tired of the game and swam over to him. He could still feel that silky body pressed closely to his. He kissed her hungrily, then carried her out of the water, marveling at the perfection of her body.

His hands shook has he poured another glass of wine, wishing for something stronger, but knowing Amanda Landau had never kept hard liquor in her home.

It had not mattered to Jordan at the time that he had not been the first man to have Meagan. He made love to her on the riverbank. But later, as he began to fall in love with her, he was driven mad by jealousy at the thought of Meagan in another man's arms. When he had questioned her about it, she had laughingly told him that he might not have been the first, but he would definitely be the last. Jordan had begged her to marry him, and she had agreed. But then the war had come along, and she had refused to become his wife until he returned.

He thought of the day he had ridden away to join his regiment. Meagan had cried and sworn she would miss him and wait for his return. The first year she had written to him often, but then the letters had come less frequently and finally had stopped altogether. At the time he had blamed it on the war, thinking her letters had gone astray, but now he knew that was not the case. He remembered his last leave. Had she been cold then?

Jordan poured himself another glass of wine and walked over to the piano and picked up the small miniature encased in a golden frame. It was a painting of Meagan and Honor painted three years ago. Honor looked the angelic child, with her pale silky hair hanging about her face. She was dressed in pink and looked innocent and childlike, while Meagan wore blue to match her eyes—eyes that stared boldly back at him from the picture, taunting him as they had so often done in real life.

He hurled the miniature across the room and watched as it smashed into the wall.

"Damn you, Meagan," he shouted. "The day will come when I will have my revenge on you." He emptied the bottle of wine and started on a second. "One day, Meagan," he vowed, "you will come crawling back to me. We shall see then who will suffer for your faithlessness." His lips curled into a cruel smile. "How will you like it when you find out that I have replaced you with your sister?"

He was drunk and he knew it, but it did not matter. He had earned the right to get drunk. The South had been at war for one year, and Jordan had seen his share of fighting. He was a major now and a commander of men. Why then had he lost command of his life?

He looked around the sitting room. It was decorated in good taste, and the furnishings were of the best quality. He had just married the heiress of Landau Plantation and he was now a wealthy man in his own right. Why then did it give him so little pleasure?

He thought of Honor. He remembered the first time he had seen her. She had been a tiny, delicate little girl with big green eyes that had seemed to melt his heart. There was something about her that had drawn him to her from the beginning. He had called her his little one and had teased her and adored her as one did an adorable child.

That child was now his wife. What right did she have to be in bed alone on their wedding night? Jordan drained the contents of his glass and staggered out of the room. He climbed the stairs, bitterness in his heart.

He was unsteady on his feet as he fumbled with the knob on Honor's door. He would have his revenge tonight, Jordan thought, and he would extract it from Meagan's sister.

4

Honor was awakened by a loud noise. Jordan swore as he stumbled into a chair, knocking it over onto the floor.

"Jordan, is that you?"

"Who were you expecting?" he said angrily. "Are you like that slut of a sister of yours with men tramping in and out of your bedroom?"

Honor got out of bed quickly. "Jordan, are you drunk?"

"Hell, yes, I am drunk, but not so drunk that I cannot satisfy you, if that is what bothers you."

She reached out for him in the darkness and tried to steady him. "You have come into the wrong bedroom. I will help you to your room," Honor said, feeling uneasy. She had never seen Jordan drunk before, or any other man for that matter, and it frightened her for some unknown reason.

"I have not come to the wrong room. It is your bed I seek, my dear, or have you forgotten that I am your husband?" He pulled her against him roughly. His hands moved over her body, causing her to struggle to be free. "Be still," he commanded as his lips came down brutally on hers.

Honor felt terror as she pushed against him. Her heart seemed to be pounding in her head. "Jordan, please, you are frightening me," she pleaded.

He picked her up in his arms and carried her to the bed. His body followed hers down, pinning her beneath him. "You are so sweet, so sweet," he murmured. "I need you to chase my demons away."

Honor reached up and touched his face, feeling she wanted to help him in his torment. "I will do whatever you want, Jordan."

His mouth covered hers in a burning kiss. "Meagan, Meagan," he moaned. "I love you."

His voice seemed to come to her from' a long way off, and when his words penetrated her consciousness, she struggled beneath him.

"Release me, Jordan. Please, you do not know what you are doing."

"Do I not? You are going to pay for what you did to me, Meagan."

He moved his body off her. Honor thought he would let her go until she realized he was removing his clothing. She felt panic and moved slowly off the bed and eased her way toward the door.

Jordan, sensing what she had in mind, grabbed a handful of her hair and jerked her toward him, laughing harshly as Honor cried out in pain.

"Jordan, please, you are drunk."

"Jordan, you are drunk," he mimicked. "I will show you I can still please a woman even when I am drunk."

Almost no light penetrated the darkened room. Honor could barely make out Jordan's face. She had to get through to him, make him see that he was making a mistake.

"Jordan, you will regret this in the morning."

He tightened the hold he had on her hair and jerked her roughly against him. His lips found hers as he kissed her deeply. She wanted to hit out at him as his hands moved over her nightgown and she felt the material being ripped from her body.

"Meagan, Meagan, you are driving me mad." He picked her up and placed her on the bed, then lay beside her, pulling her into his arms. "I want you, Meagan," he cried.

Honor was too stunned to react. She felt Jordan's naked body crush hers into the mattress. She felt a searing pain and cried out in fear and pain as he entered her body.

Jordan stiffened. "You are not Meagan. She was not a virgin, and you have never been with a man before."

Honor was unable to answer. She cried with tears of shame and disgust, hoping Jordan was finished with her so she could be alone. She felt like wounded animal and wanted to crawl off alone and die of humiliation.

But he was not finished with her yet.

In a moment of sanity Jordan realized that he had abused Honor, but he knew he had gone too far to pull back now.

"I cannot stop myself now, Honor."

He was brutal as he took her girlhood from her forever.

"You will pay for your sister's crime," he told her as pain ripped through her body.

"Jordan, you are hurting me.   Please stop," she pleaded with him.

"Do you think I give a damn?" he said in a passion-laced voice.

This was not the Jordan she had always known and loved. He was like a madman, wanting to punish her for Meagan's mistakes.

When he finished, he rolled off her, but refused to release her. He pulled Honor against him and held her tightly.

Honor felt her stomach churn and was afraid she was going to be ill. When she tried to move away from him, his grip tightened, so she remained still, afraid of what he might do to her.

Gone forever was the young innocent girl, and gone were the tender feelings she had had for Jordan. She now felt hatred burn in her heart for Jordan as well as for her sister Meagan. Tears soaked her pillow as she thought of Jordan making love to Meagan as he had to her just now. She wondered why it was called making love. To her it seemed more like making hate. Jordan had used her cruelly tonight, but what hurt her more than the pain was the fact that he had used her to exercise his revenge on Meagan. She had been merely an instrument for his lust and revenge.

Honor pressed her hand tightly over her mouth, feeling the bile rise in her throat. Fighting against the sick feeling, she bit her trembling lips. She would be glad when Jordan had to leave, and she hoped she would never have to see him again.

Honor felt Jordan stir beside her. She closed her eyes, hardly daring to breathe, hoping he would not awaken. She trembled with fear and loathing as she felt his hands move over her naked body.

This time she did not struggle, nor did she cry out as he took her body. She willed her mind not to function as he kissed her. When he had finished with her, the room was silent for a long time and Honor hoped he had fallen asleep once more. She felt his hand move softly over her stomach.

"Honor, I am sorry for what I did to you. I know I treated you badly. Will you ever forgive me?"

"I do not think so, Jordan," she said calmly.

"Honor, I was drunk tonight. I know that is no excuse, but I want you to know that I have never been brutal with a woman before."

"Is it supposed to make me feel good that I have the distinction of being the only woman you have ever been brutal with?"

"Honor, please, I am sorry. You should have been introduced to married life with gentleness and love."

"You missed on both counts, Jordan."

"Oh, little one, I am so ashamed. I used you so badly." He tried to pull her into his arms, but she pushed him away.

"How could you be with me after you have also been with my sister? Do you know how that makes me feel?"

"Honor, I will admit that I have been with Meagan, but I . . ."

She placed her hands over her ears. "I do not want to hear about it."

"Let me explain, little one."

"Jordan, as long as you live, never call me your 'little one' again."

"Honor, I was driven half out of my mind by Meagan's marriage. You know how it is when you love someone. Did you not tell me that you love another man?"

"Yes, but I did not call you by his name ... no, that is not true. Maybe I did call out his name." She laughed hysterically. "Yes, I believe I did."

Jordan shook her, fearing she would become hysterical. "Honor, you are not making sense. Oh, God, what have I done to you?"

Honor felt tears falling down her face. "What if I told you that because of your actions tonight I no longer love the man I have loved for these last few years?"

"What do you mean?"

"Oh, Jordan, you are so blind. You never knew that I loved you, did you?" she sobbed. "I guess I should thank you for finally opening my eyes. I detest you now."

Jordan closed his eyes, trying to digest what she was saying. "I did not know. It did not occur to me that you loved me."

"You belonged to Meagan, remember? I was content to worship you from afar. You were my Adonis, my hero. How misguided I have been."

"Oh, God, please forgive me. Let me make it up to you.”

"Jordan, I never want to see you again, nor will I ever let you touch me again."

He sat up, running his fingers through his hair. "I feel like the lowest form of life. I know you will not want to believe me, but when I made love to you the second time, I did not confuse you with Meagan. In fact, it was so good. I have never felt that way before with any woman."

"You are right, Jordan. I do not believe you. Do you think I would believe that I have driven Meagan out of your heart, me so inexperienced, and Meagan so wise in the ways of pleasing a man?"

Jordan looked down at her. She was barely visible in the darkened room. "I have deep feelings for you, Honor. Perhaps it is love. I just do not know."

"I do not want to hear any more, Jordan. You must think me a complete fool."

"Darling, please, I do not know what happened to me tonight. Maybe the love for you was always there and I did not recognize it as love. I swear to you that I do love you in some way."

"How quickly you cast love aside. I do not think I would enjoy being loved by you." Then a horrible thought entered her mind. "Jordan, the wedding band you put on my finger, was it the ring you bought for Meagan?"

He hesitated. "Yes."

She removed it from her finger and pressed it into his hand. "Take it. I do not want any reminders that I am your wife."

"I will get you another."

"Do not bother, because I would not wear it either. Please go away."

Jordan buried his face in his hands. "Lord, I feel awful."

"You are probably hung over. I am sorry, but I am fresh out of pity."

"I never knew you to be cruel, Honor."

"Let us say I had a good teacher tonight."

The sun had risen, painting the room in a soft rosy glow. Honor, becoming aware of her nakedness, tried to pull the cover over herself. Jordan's eyes moved over her slim body, taking in her tiny breasts, not yet fully developed, her small waist and her long, shapely legs. Her hair fell about her face, and Jordan suddenly realized how beautiful she was.

"God, you are so lovely, Honor," he said, looking into her eyes. There was a sadness in his eyes, but Honor was completely unmoved by it.

"Leave me, Jordan."

He stood up and looked down at her. "I will go, Honor, and I will return to my regiment, but we have a lot to settle between us. Maybe some day you will find it in your heart to forgive me for tonight. I hope so, darling. I am going to try and win your respect once more, and then if I am lucky, your love."

He reached out his hand to touch her face and she flinched as though frightened of him.

A spasm of pain flickered across his face. "Goodbye, my love," he said. Closing his eyes, he swallowed a lump in his throat. Then he dressed quickly. When he was fully dressed he stood over her. "I will send my father to move you to Green Rivers today. You cannot remain here by yourself."

"Do as you wish," she told him, knowing she had no intention of moving to Green Rivers. The last few days had been an ordeal, with her aunt's dying and Jordan's coming home on leave, then her sickness and the wedding, and then tonight. Her eyes were shining with unshed tears as she looked at Jordan.

"Good-bye, Jordan."

His eyes begged her to forgive him, but she had hardened her heart against him. "Good-bye, darling, do not think too badly of me, but do think of me sometimes.

She turned her back to him and heard the door open and close softly as he left. Honor did not cry. She had no more tears left. She would close the door of her mind and lock Jordan and Meagan out of her thoughts. As far as she was concerned, neither of them existed for her.

* * *

Later in the morning when Darcy came into the room, she was still lying on the bed, staring into nothingness.

Darcy looked at her suspiciously. "Master Jordan slept in your bed last night, and you still so sick?"

Honor turned dull eyes to her. "I want you to bring me a tub of hot water and plenty of soap so I can bathe, and then you are never to mention Jordan's name to me again. Is that clear?"

Darcy puckered her mouth angrily. "What did he do to you? Did he hurt you?"

"Just do as you are told and do not ask me any more questions," Honor snapped.

Honor had never talked to Darcy in such a harsh fashion before. Darcy shook her head sadly and went downstairs to heat the water for Honor's bath.

* * *

That afternoon when Clayton Daniels came to take Honor to Green Rivers, he found her in the sitting room waiting for him.

"You are looking better this afternoon, my dear," he told her as he planted a kiss on her cheek. "Are you all packed? Jordan told me to transport any of your belongings that you wanted to take with you. We want you to think of Green Rivers as your home."

Honor faced him, ready to do battle. "I thank you for your kind offer to share your home with me, but I have reconsidered and I find I do not want to leave Landau."

"You cannot mean that, Honor. You must still be suffering from the fever. I cannot allow you to remain here alone. Maggie was looking forward to your living with us, and what will Jordan say when he finds out?"