Rebel Souls (16 page)

He’d weakened them by taking the one thing they’d used to control the people, and gave his people independence and a chance to hold the liberties only the elite had possessed. Only one that deserved the title remained, the woman he held, who’d struggled like her people. She’d slipped the Regulator’s grasps, had prevailed, and now he would take her home, to her new world.

After the blast that wounded Ava, the Regulators boarded her ship and were unable to find anything illegal on the
Avira
. They’d released the crew and helped to transport Ava to a medical facility. With the League communication codes that Lieutenant Emery provided, Brodie accessed confidential transmissions, allowing the Rebels to stay one step ahead of the law. By the time he left the docks to rescue Ava, he’d already hidden the ship and her crew. En route to the hospital, one of the street children brought him the medallion he’d given Ava for her birthday, a bigger sign things were about to go to shit and he needed to move faster. Only one person would send it.

It wasn’t until they discovered the metal fragment had been quadradium that they began to sweep the planet for the
Avira
’s location.

Being a member of the Underground had its advantages, and the chop-shop could patch the hole as fast as they could take a ship apart. Practice made perfect and their efficiency saved lives that day. And since the Regulators were already on to them, they’d loaded her hold with Rebels and weapons.

In three days the last five of the Nexian hierarchy would fall from power, and the woman in his arms, a member of the Nexian hierarchy, would finally assume her place as leader of his people.
Duchess was a nickname
. He gazed into her face. A tender smile tugged at the corner of his mouth.
Princess, her title
. The League had no idea who they’d planned to execute. But they soon would, and she’d be out of their jurisdiction when they figured it out.

It would end here. Unless they wanted a war, they’d be forced to back off. Ava wielded more power in her pinky finger than all other rulers in the galaxy combined.

***

“They can’t have gone far,” the League Admiral barked into the com.

Seth frowned. Hopefully they had. His only wish was that they were off the planet and out of League space. Brodie would take care of her, but he’d rather not risk his men finding her. There were no second chances. If she ended up in his custody again, he’d have no choice. She’d be tried and executed. “We’ve searched everywhere for that ship. It’s not in the city, most likely not on the planet.”

“And Captain Frost?”

“I suspect she’s with her ship.”

“I want a full report on my desk in the morning and an investigation into how this happened. If that quadradium reaches its destination, millions of lives could be in danger. I can’t begin to fathom the weapons that could be made from that ore—and you let it slip away.”

“I understand, sir. As soon as I learned the tiles were on the ship, I alerted my staff and we began to search for the vessel. If I’d known, the ship and crew would have never been released.”

“I don’t want excuses, Legatus. I want that ship and its crew in custody. As it stands, the New Xieran authorities have washed their hands of the matter. We have no evidence, and they want our ship off their world before we start a war with the Nexian people.” His com went blank.

Seth punched a button and opened up a link to his fleet. “Prepare all ships to depart in five minutes.” He didn’t wait for a response but strode from his quarters and to the deck. Had he bought them enough time? Sharp pain bit into his heart. Millions could die because he’d let her go. If he’d known the ship was rigged with that cargo, he’d have never allowed it to be released. If he’d had held it, Ava would be facing execution.

He’d broken the law, the very law he upheld and the consequences might be more than he could bear. Deciding who lived and died in this galaxy wasn’t his place, and yet he’d made it so. Who knew where they planned to take the shipment. Only one place came to mind. Nexis. He wasn’t ready to alert his commander of his suspicions yet, however holding back would raise too many questions and could cost lives.

No choice. He had to pursue and he had to try to capture them. He’d given them their chance, it was all he could give, and in retrospect, he’d probably hate himself the rest of his life for doing it. Yes, Ava had blood on her hands, but they were a hell of a lot cleaner than his at the moment.

***

Five days later, Ava stared out the tower window of her new home at the city below. Hard to believe it all was her responsibility. She wouldn’t call it hers. Nexis had never belonged to her family. It always belonged to the people, and as refugees made their way back from all over the galaxy, she wondered if she could do this.

She hugged her body and leaned a hip against the window seat. Gods, she missed him. But he hated her. She’d killed his child, lied to him. If not for Brodie, Seth would have had her executed.

Brodie came up from behind and wrapped his arms around her shoulders. “How are you feeling?”

“Lost.” She eyed the bright lights of the city below. She couldn’t even manage her own life. How could she oversee this planet?

“You’ll be okay. You were born for this.”

She frowned and traced her finger along the sill. “I don’t know if I can do this.”

“You can do this. I’ll be here for you, whenever you need me.”

“I know.” She turned around and looked him in the eyes. “I’m sorry I hurt you, that all this happened. That I….”

“Ava.”

“I didn’t believe you.”

Brodie put his fingers to her lips. “I want to renew our marriage pact. I want you to be my wife.” Her heart fractured. She hadn’t wanted to hear those words from Brodie. She should settle for what she could get. Brodie would be good to her. He would protect her, love her, even if she couldn’t return it.

“I can’t give you….”
My heart
.

“We’ll adopt, street orphans.”

Tears filled her eyes. How could he understand? How could he still care for her after all the betrayal? She’d stuck a knife in him, and wounded him physically, and then twisted the blade by falling in love with his enemy. How could Brodie want her when her heart would always belong to another? She closed her eyes and looked away.

“Don’t cry, Duchess.” He captured her chin with his fingertips and turned her back to him.

That’s all she did anymore, and she’d grown weary of it. “Make me forget, Brodie,” she whispered, needing something, anything to take the numbness, the pain, away.

He lowered his mouth to hers and kissed her. Not like Seth. She didn’t feel a flutter in her stomach, and her heart didn’t skip a beat. Yes, she loved him, but not the way he wanted her to, and she may never be able to give that to him, but she could become his wife. She could only hope that in time he’d make her dizzy with lust like Seth had, and maybe she’d find the happiness she’d lost.

Maybe she’d love again.

Brodie swept her into his arms and carried her to bed. He peeled her nightgown over her head and dropped down beside her after losing his own clothes. “I love you, Duchess. I’ve always loved you, and I’ll be a good husband.”

She gave him a weak smile. “I know.”

He reached out and touched her bottom lip with his thumb. “Maybe you’ll love me again someday, the way you did when we were younger, before I left and made the biggest mistake of my life.”

“Don’t talk. Please.” No more hopes and dreams. They weren’t for people like her. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him to her. Tonight she wouldn’t think about loss and foolish mistakes. Tonight she wanted to erase the memories of another.

***

Every night she cried in her sleep. Nothing could comfort her. He’d hold her while she sobbed, every second torture. Brodie believed he could fix the damage and had kept Seth’s parting words from her. No need to tell her what the Regulator said when he’d told him to get her out of the medical center. “
I love her, but I don’t have a choice. I wish there was another way. Take care of her
.”

And he told himself that’s why he did it. For all the internal lies he concocted, he knew deep down inside it was nothing more than petty jealousy that drove his actions. Nothing honorable about it. He’d wanted her for himself. And yes, now he had her, but he didn’t hold her heart. Every night he made love to her, she cried in her sleep after for a man who’d sent her away. He could do nothing to console her, nothing to make her laugh, or do anything more than stare out the window at the sky.

She’d stopped eating, had dropped weight. Dark circles sat under her eyes, and she never smiled. To stay would kill her. But she’d die if she went back. The poachers they’d run off from their world still had allies. Those sympathetic would ensure execution.

But what if the Regulator came to her? Brodie slipped out of bed and glanced back as he padded over to the window where she sat every day. Gods, he loved the woman.

Tomorrow, two years since she’d escaped, they were to take their vows. For once in his life Brodie wanted to do the right thing, even if it killed him.

Chapter Thirteen

Ava stared at her reflection. Her dress hung on her, two sizes too big, even though she’d been fitted a short forty days before. She supposed she looked pretty, but she couldn’t see past what she felt on the inside. A chill sat as ice on her bones, gnawing on her guts, encasing her heart. On her wedding day she should smile, but she couldn’t seem to force it.

Brodie didn’t deserve what she’d bring to their relationship. He’d been all he’d promised to be. He loved her, and went out of his way to give her everything she could want, anything to make her happy. After two years of trying to forget Seth, she’d decided to move on, and since that decision, she’d hadn’t been able to sleep or eat well.

Millions would kill for what she had, a good man who’d do anything for her, the love of her people, an empire with wealth beyond her dreams. Nexis sat in the palm of her hand, and yet she took no joy in her position, or what her people had gained. It didn’t matter. She’d started the process to turn the planet back over to the people, allowing them to elect regional representatives, much like the political system she’d grown up with on New Xiera.

Soon Nexis would belong to them, and she could drop the burden, focus on moving forward with her life and marriage. Gods knew she had to do something. Living like this would kill her.

She ached, wanted to curl into a ball, and forget how to live, but dying would not bring him back, nor would it return everything she’d lost. Every day she walked a dark path, each step pain, each breath, excruciating. But how did one live when they had nothing to live for?

Ava caught Brodie’s reflection in the mirror. He stood in the doorway, watching her, wearing a red thermal freighter’s shirt. The waffle weave stretched tight over his chest and abs, displaying his well-toned body. His tan cargo pants were bloused in his combat boots, as though he were headed out on a mission and not to their wedding. On the unruly side, his blond hair hadn’t been cut in a while, and curled and twisted in every direction, untamed, much like the man.

Ava furrowed her brow. The palace was full of guests, the city’s sidewalks, gridlocked with Nexian citizens who wanted to a get glimpse of the ceremony. It was too late to turn back, too late to cry off the bonding ceremony.

“You look beautiful.”

She didn’t say anything. Her throat had closed up. Lifting her hand, she reached up and touched the multi-strand necklace from her shopping trip with Seth. She didn’t feel beautiful. She felt—lost.

“We need to talk,” he said and reached up to rub the scruff on his jaw.

Ava turned around. “Talk?” The ceremony was to start in minutes. “You’re not ready.”

“No.” He stepped into the room and shut the door. “I’m not going through with it.”

Her guts clenched and pain shot through her. All her strength fled and her knees went soft. Brodie rushed to her side and caught her before she sank to the floor in a heap. Even Brodie didn’t want her.
Betrayer. Liar
. Could she blame him? He’d seen through the glamour and had decided to back out.

“But you are,” he said. “You’d take me as your husband, even though you don’t love me.”

She lifted her chin, looking him in the eyes. “Please—Brodie.”

“Gods, look at you. You act like you’re going to your funeral. I can’t live like that, Ava. I can’t hold you for the rest of my life while you shed tears for another man.” His thumb brushed the offending moisture from the corner of her eye. “You don’t love me the way I need you to, you never will again. I blew that, and I’ll hate myself for the rest of my life, but I can’t do this to you, and I won’t. We’re going to go get him. If he won’t come willingly, we’ll bring him back by force.” He gave her a wicked grin.

“I don’t want you to kidnap a husband for me. He doesn’t want me.”

“He loves you, Ava. He told me so.”

Brodie had never mentioned it. She pulled out of his arms and stepped away. “What are you talking about?” Ava turned around, locking gazes. The look on his face, in his eyes, what had he done? “Brodie?”

“Gods help me, I couldn’t bear to let him have you, so I never told you what he’d said.” Brodie frowned. “I believed I could make you love me again, that you’d come to feel the way I felt. I was wrong and so are you, sitting here in your tower, dying a little every day, instead of going after what you want, a man who loves you more than you can possibly know. He gave up everything to keep you safe. He gave you to me.” As though he wasn’t sure what to do with his hands, Brodie crammed them into his pockets. “I can’t say I’d have done the same. I can’t take back what I did, but I can help you.” He gave her a soft smile. “If you’ll let me.”

“He’ll arrest me, execute me, and do the same to you.”

Brodie shook his head slowly. “I don’t believe he will. Any man who would let you go to another, could not stand by and watch you die. I’m willing to bet my life and yours on it.” Brodie reached his hand out, waiting for her to take it.