Rebel Heart (13 page)

A strong urge passed through Kade. It was what always happened. A single thought ran through his mind, branching off into a bunch of different, equally stressful, thoughts.

He should just leave. Get out of Falls Creek in the same way Stella did. Give Mel a normal chance at a life and marriage and love.

Since Maddox had died, there hadn’t been a single day where Kade went without thinking about death. It wasn’t that he particular craved it. He just didn’t fear it. Death wasn’t romantic or beautiful or any of the things people wanted it to be. It just
was
. And that, in and of itself, intrigued Kade into subtly speeding up the inevitable.

It was the real reason he put so much stock in the pills.

Yeah. Kade and death weren’t strangers who fearfully walked past each other without making eye contact. They were close acquaintances, two entities that often tangled but had yet to fully merge, and Mel didn’t deserve a husband with that kind of darkness in him.

Kade stretched his arms over his head and popped three more pills into his mouth, then a fourth. And this was the way it always went, usually until the bottle was empty and sleep hit him all at once.

He felt good. Relaxed. At ease.

He wasn’t on the sofa anymore. Now he was miles above it, floating amongst stars. Astronomy had never really been his thing, but the tranquility that came with the night sky had always given him comfort.

With unsteady hands he popped the lid off another bottle, ignoring the label as he shoved the pills in his mouth. An icy sensation ran through his veins and was met with fire. This was different. This was new.

Something told Kade that he was teetering on the edge. That if he didn’t do something, and fast, he wouldn’t live through the night. Mel would find him tomorrow morning, or whenever, and she would hate him.

She didn’t deserve that.

But the course of action had already been set into motion.

A sickening feeling surfaced in Kade’s stomach. He closed his eyes, feeling euphoria settle over him. If this was what death was then it wasn’t half as bad as he had imagined. He looked at the blinking red of the alarm clock on the table beside him. It was almost 1 A.M.

He had always imagined himself dying at night.

Hours later he awoke in a daze and found himself attached to wires and beeping machines. Hushed voices spoke from behind a cracked door. Harsh fluorescent lighting leaked into a dimly lit hospital room.

And Stella.

Suddenly, the door opened and she was in front of him, all five foot three inches of her. Kade sucked in a deep breath and closed his eyes, waiting for reality to take over as it always did, but when he opened them, she was still there.

What the hell?

She had barely aged since the last time Kade had saw her. She approached where he was lying on the bed.

“Good,” she said, all business.

She uncapped a pen, pressing it against the clipboard in her hands as her eyes scanned the machines Kade was attached to for his vitals.

“You’re up.”

Kade tried to open his mouth to speak, to ask what the hell was going on, where he was, and more than anything...what the hell she was doing there, but all that surfaced from his mouth was a dry croak.

“Don’t try to speak,” Stella instructed.

“We had to pump your stomach.”

We?

The reality of the situation dawned on Kade all at once. He was in the hospital and Stella was his...

Kade squinted, reading the nametag attached to her white lab coat.

Doctor.

Of course.

Stella shined a light in each one of Kade’s pupils, jotting a few more things down on her clipboard. Kade examined her face. She was as beautiful as ever. If anything, time had only done her favors. There was a sort of mature quality in her appearance that hadn’t been there five years ago.

She had evolved, in more ways than one, and here Kade was.

As pathetic as ever.

He wanted to explain himself. To tell her that he hadn’t tried to kill himself, that it wasn’t what it looked like. But his words would only be met by deaf ears. Stella had heard it all before, from Kade and other patients. An overdose was an overdose. Simple as.

“Well,” Stella spoke up, capping her pen. She slid the clipboard underneath one of her arms.

“The good news is you’re alive.”

The bad news?

Stella took a step forward, taking a seat on the end of Kade’s bed. She ran a hand through her hair, which was styled shorter than it had been five years ago, and exhaled a deep breath. Kade opened his mouth to try and speak again but Stella held up a hand to stop him.

“Before you start, I already talked to Mel.”

She cocked her head and tensed her jaw, looking at Kade sideways.

“She was the one who found you by the way.”

Shit.

“Anyway...”

“Yes, I’m back in Falls Creek. Yes, I’m a doctor. And yes, I know about you and Mel.”

Kade sucked in a deep breath. There were so many things he wanted to say, but his voice was hoarse and his throat burned. Silence was his only option. And maybe that was for the best.

Stella laughed stoically.

“We met for coffee the other day and she invited me to your wedding. How funny is that?”

Kade averted his gaze. How could he explain all the things that had happened in her absence? How could he get her to understand it?

“There is something you should know though. You’re going to find out eventually so you might as well hear it from me first.”

There was an anxious look etched across Stella’s face.

What?

“I have a daughter. She’s five.”

A million thoughts rushed through Kade’s mind all at once, creating a cluster effect. A daughter? A
five
-year-old daughter? That meant...no.

It couldn’t be...

“I know what you’re thinking,” Stella continued, trying her best to hide the nervousness in her tone.

“Yes.”

Yes?

“She is yours. Her name is Elizabeth. She doesn’t know about you, and after this, I would like to keep it that way.”

“Don’t worry,” Stella added sarcastically.

“Mel doesn’t know you are the father. I saved you there. I told her that Beth’s father was a guy I met in med school back in New York.”

New York.

So that’s where she had run off.

Stella stood up then, allowing her words to sink in. When she opened her mouth to speak again, she was all business.

“We’re giving you some fluids. I’ll send a nurse up soon with your discharge papers.”

She paused near the doorway with her back turned.

“It’s good to know some people never change.”

With that, Stella stepped into the hallway, leaving Kade alone with his thoughts.

Chapter Ten

K
ade’s overdose was years in the making. As stubborn as he might have been, there was no denying that. After being pumped full of fluids and warned of the dangers of benzo abuse, he was discharged by a nurse and sent home with strict instructions to stay in bed and drink lots of fluids.

He didn’t see Stella again, but her reappearance and the news she had shared with him had given him enough food for thought to chew over for days, if not weeks.

And Mel.

What the hell would he do about Mel?

Ignoring the nurse’s instructions, Kade stumbled out of the taxi that had picked him up at the hospital and paid the driver. A prospect was quick to open the door for him as he entered the dimly lit SOW clubhouse in search of his brothers, but they were nowhere in sight.

“Where is everyone?” Kade questioned another prospect.

The man shrugged in response, taking a long drink of his beer.

“Don’t know bro. Everyone piled out a while ago. Told me and King to hold down the fort.

King.

That must have been the prospect Kade had seen outside. Sooner or later he should have to put some effort into learning their names, but that didn’t seem too important right now.

Kade cracked a beer for himself and slid into his usual seat at the bar. He pulled out his phone and dialed Mel’s number. It rang once before she answered.

“Kade?” she breathed.

“Where the hell are you? I’m at the hospital. Stella said you were already discharged.

Stella.

Shit.

Kade rubbed his neck and sighed.

“Yeah. Uh, sorry...I’m at the clubhouse. I grabbed a cab. I wasn’t sure if you were going to come get me...”

“Why wouldn’t I?” Mel interrupted, sounding immediately on guard.

“Is everything alright?”

Alright?

Hardly. But how could Kade tell her what was really on his mind without complicating things? Besides...Stella had already made it clear. She didn’t want anything to do with him.

She didn’t want her daughter...their daughter...to have anything to do with him. And even though it hurt like hell, it was probably for the best.

Kade could hardly take care of himself, let alone another person. What the hell had he been thinking, proposing to Mel?

And Stevie.

She deserved so much better too.

“Mel, look,” Kade spoke up, keeping his tone even.

“Can you come get me? I think we need to talk.”

There was a long silence on the other end of the line.

“This is about Stella isn’t it?”

Mel’s voice was shaky and unsteady. She sounded as though she was crying. Kade sucked in a deep breath.

“No,” he lied.

“I just...I think we need to talk. In person.”

“Fine,” Mel answered.

“I’ll see you soon.”

The line fell silent. Kade slid his phone shut and finished off his beer before going outside to wait for her. He didn’t take pride in what he was about to do, but in the long run, Mel would see that it was for the best.

Fifteen minutes later, Mel pulled up in Dice’s old pick-up and parked, climbing out. She was wearing a ankle-length skirt, converse sneakers, and a plain sheer blouse despite the cold weather. Her face was void of any make-up and it was clear to Kade that she had been crying.

She looked stunning. But it only made what he was about to do that much more difficult.

“Just cut to the chase Kade,” she whispered, keeping her distance.

Kade noticed right away that she was no longer wearing the ring.

“Stella’s back and you want to be with her. Right? Am I getting warm?”

She tried her best to keep her tone void of any emotion but Kade could hear the hurt and anger in every word that left her mouth.

“No,” he answered firmly, avoiding eye contact with her.

“It’s not Stella. It’s me, Mel.”

“It’s always been me. I’m not good for you. Or Stevie. Or Stella. Or anyone. I never have been.”

Mel rolled her eyes and furrowed her brows.

“You know Kade, I’m starting to understand why Stella left you.”

She waved a hand over his appearance.

“Look at you. You’re smoking hot. But inside...you’re just a complicated mess.”

A pang of hurt surfaced in Kade’s chest but he didn’t show it. Instead, he simply nodded, tensing his jaw.

“Here,” Mel said, taking a step forward.

She pressed the ring Kade had given her into his palm and lingered for a moment with her hand in his, waiting for him to pull her back. When he didn’t, she shook her head and laughed a sad laugh.

“You know, I met Stella’s daughter,” she whispered.

Kade glanced down at her then, keeping his expression as stoic as possible.

“You know? The one she had with some guy in nursing school?”

Kade shrugged.

“It’s funny, though.”

“What?” Kade questioned.

“She looks just like you.”

Shit...

Mel looked crushed. She was a lot of things but dense wasn’t one of them. Stella should have known she wouldn’t buy that lie. Not even for a second. She shook her head and laughed. Anger flashed in her eyes.

“You’re a piece of shit.”

With that, she stormed off and climbed back in Dice’s truck, starting it up.

“Wait!” Kade called after her.

“Mel...I’m sorry! I just found out!”

But it was no use.

She pressed down on the gas and peeled out of the parking lot. And just like that she was gone.

Kade sighed and stuffed the ring into the pocket of his cut. He turned around to enter the clubhouse but was interrupted by the sound of bikes approaching in the distance.

Landon and Nash pulled into the club parking lot and parked. They were both sweaty and stained from head to toe with mud, blood, and sweat. Obviously a job had been done.