Rebel Heart (7 page)

After dinner on the third evening, she escaped to feed the horses, glad for a respite from Jase. Being around him had her senses spinning. She didn’t know whether to slap him down, dodge out of reach, or just endure the touching until he got tired of his little game and left her alone. She desperately needed some time alone to keep things in perspective.

She forked down the hay into the corral then spread it for the horses who jostled her, trying for a mouthful. Putting grain in the trough, she watched to make sure Bugle didn’t hog all of it from the less aggressive horses. The routine of the chores soothed her, brought her ragged senses under control.

“Did you already feed Shadow?” Jase asked, materializing beside her at the corral fence. The late afternoon sun was slowly sinking, its waning rays bathing everything in soft golden light.

She jumped, startled. “Yes. And gave him grain. I fed him in his stall so he wouldn’t have to share with these guys.”

Afraid to look at him, she watched the horses eat, content in the constant activity of the ranch. It had a timelessness, a continuity that she cherished. It was so different from her life before.

“We need to talk about the ranch, Shannon,” he said, resting one boot on the bottom rail, resting his arm against his bent leg, staring down at her.

“We’ve been talking about it since you got here. What specifically?” She wanted to step away, being so near him was disturbing. But she held her ground, watched the horses, conscious of Jase’s steady gaze.

“You have a mortgage payment coming soon, ranch hands to feed and pay, and some horses needing to be re-shod.”

“I know.” Fear clutched her. She knew all this. She’d been worrying about it for weeks, ever since Rod had vanished with her money. Where would she get the necessary funds? “I guess I have to sell some cattle, don’t I? Liquidate some assets, so to speak?”

“It’s a bad time for it. If you sell now you’ll sell at a loss.”

“But at least I’ll get some ready cash to tide me over.” Damn Rod Thompson and his thieving heart!

“True.” He hesitated, watching her intently as if trying to gauge her reaction. “There are other ways to get money.”

She turned then to face him, anger spilling. “I told you before I don’t want to borrow. The mortgage is bad enough. I can’t encumber the place with more debt. Maybe I should try for a job in Tumbleweed.”

“What do you plan to do, work all day then come back here and work all night to keep the place going? I don’t think so.”

“No one set you up as my boss. I only asked for help on learning about ranching, not on how to run my life.”

“Yeah? Well the first thing to learn about ranching is that it’s a full-time, hard-as-hell job. To do it right doesn’t give you any time for anything else, much less a full-time job elsewhere.”

“I—”

His hand cupped her chin, his thumb covered her lips, stopping the words that would have spilled out.

“And I wasn’t talking about a loan. I think you could use an influx of capital. I’m offering to buy in as a partner.”

She stared at him, dumbfounded. He wanted to buy into her ranch? To become her partner? Was he crazy?

Or did he think she was?

She twisted her face away from his grasp. “You’re nuts. Why would I sell part of my ranch to anyone? If I can just get by this temporary bind, I’ll make it.”

“In the meantime this temporary bind could set you back so far you’ll never dig out. Listen, Shannon. I know a lot more about running a cattle ranch than you’ll learn in six years, much less six weeks. I was born on one, raised on one, ran it for a long while. I’ve lived, slept and breathed beef cattle until I have probably forgotten more than you know right now.”

“But I can learn!”

“Sure you can, but in time to save this place? You’re in a crisis situation here, sweetheart. You don’t have the luxury of unlimited time to dither around and wait for the pot at the end of the rainbow. You have to get some cash and fast.”

“So I’ll sell some cattle. But I’m not selling my ranch.”

“I didn’t say sell the ranch. I want to buy in. I have some money sitting in a bank, why not help you out on the Bar Seven?”

“No. I’m not interested.”

She turned and headed back to the house. Fear grew with each step. Big words, refusing his help. What was she going to do? She knew she needed a lot of money and soon. If she sold cattle now, she’d have a smaller herd, which would take longer to build up. But to sell part of the ranch, to no longer own it totally, was unthinkable. She especially did not want to give up part ownership to a disturbing cowboy who was only staying temporarily.

His arm unexpectedly spun her around. He held on to her as he leaned over, his nose almost touching hers. She could feel the heat of his anger.

“You don’t have much choice.”

“I do, too. I can sell what cattle I need to raise the money.”

“Why not take a partner? Shannon, I’m not asking for controlling interest, just a few shares.”

“No.”

“Why the hell not?” He was getting angry at her refusal and she glared up at him.

“I’ll tell you why not, cowboy. First of all, this ranch is
all mine.
It is the only real home I’ve had since I was fifteen. It means too much to me to give up a portion of it to some stranger I only met a week ago. Second, I am not going to become dependent on another man as long as I live. I tried that with Bobby and ended up burned badly. Third—”

“Third be damned. I’m not your husband so stop comparing me to him. I’m not trying to boot you out of your home, only help you save it.”

“No.”

He took a deep breath, held it a moment before releasing it in a gust. “God, but you are the most headstrong woman I’ve ever met.”

She shrugged her shoulders, trying to release her arm from his grip. But he held on.

“Why is this the first real home you’ve ever had?” he asked.

“I don’t see what that has to do with anything,” she said petulantly. She wanted to go into the house, put some distance between them. The sun had sunk behind the mountain peaks and twilight spread over the land. The soft evening breeze teased her cheeks and Jase’s proximity sent spiraling tendrils of awareness through her.

“I’m curious.”

“My mom died when I was little. My dad was killed in a tornado when I was fifteen. For three years I was in foster care. Then kicked out. Do you know how hard it is for foster kids to make it?” she explained briefly in a clipped voice. She didn’t like thinking back. She wanted her future to be so much better.

“And Bobby promised stability and a home.”

She shrugged. He had, but the promise had proved false. Her eyes dropped to the top button of Jase’s shirt, unable to continue to meet his piercing gaze. “Home is important to me,” she said softly.

“And to me. Why do you think I worked so hard to provide one for my brother and sister? I wouldn’t take your home from you, darlin’,” he said gently. “I want to help you save it.”

She shook her head. “I’m not selling.”

“Fine.” He straightened and released her. Stepping around her, he headed for the kitchen door.

“Are you leaving?” she asked, suddenly afraid he would do just that. Had she made him that mad?

“No.” He continued inside.

Shannon followed, wondering what she was going to do next. She had so little time to come up with the money. Selling some of her cattle was the only way.

Jase sat behind her desk, rummaging around the papers stacked on its surface.

“What are you doing?” She paused in the doorway, watching him. Would he continue to teach her about ranching? Or had she made him too angry?

“I’m trying to figure how much money you need for the next few months so we can calculate how many head of cattle you have to sell,” he said as easily as if the confrontation in the yard had never taken place.

She slowly sank into the chair beside him and watched as he studied the tally sheets, ran a list of numbers on the old calculator. The mortgage payments she recognized and the salaries for Dink and Gary. There were other figures, but she was afraid to question exactly what they represented. The total was staggering.

She swallowed hard. “How much of the herd do I have to sell?”

“Don’t know. Tomorrow we’ll call around and find out what the going rate for cattle is right now. This is the amount you need. Once we have the rate, we’ll see how many head of cattle that is.”

“And then how long before I would get the money?”

“Oh, you can have it tomorrow,” he said easily.

“Tomorrow?” She blinked, puzzled. How would they even find a buyer that quickly, much less get the funds?

He nodded. Tipping back in the chair, his eyes narrowed slightly as he watched her.

“Wouldn’t we have to find a buyer first?”

“I’m buying.”

She stared at him in surprise. “No.”

He chuckled, running his knuckles down her soft cheek. “Now you’re saying who can and cannot buy your cattle? Do you want to sell them or not?”

“No. I mean, yes, I want to sell, but you can’t buy them. What would you do with a bunch of cattle? Are you planning to take them on the rodeo with you?”

“No, I’m planning to lease some land from you so they can continue to graze. That will generate some income for you.”

“You can’t do that.”

“Why not?”

“You just can’t.”

She was stunned. She didn’t know why he couldn’t, but she didn’t want such a close tie. Jase was only here for another five weeks. She didn’t want him bailing her out of her problems. She wanted him to show her how to work them out on her own, then leave.

He had to leave before she began thinking things she had no business thinking.

“What’s the alternative? Sell to someone else who will take them away. Then you lose the lease income. You’ve plenty of good pasture land, more than enough to support the cattle you’re running. My owning some of the herd won’t change that. And, in the meantime, you’ll have a few months of lease income as well as the cash you need right now.”

It made sense. If it were anyone but Jase she’d jump at the opportunity. Only, somehow, she felt funny accepting it from Jase.

Yet he was right, what choice did she have?

“If you buy them, it’ll be at a discount,” she said.

“What?”

“That way I can pay you a little bit more for helping me out.”

“That’s about the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. You’ll never make a businesswoman that way.”

“I feel responsible—”

“You have an overactive sense of responsibility,” he interrupted.

“It’s better than having no sense at all,” she retorted.

“And that’s the second dumbest thing I’ve heard you say since we started living together.”

She blinked, heat stung her cheeks. “We’re not living together!”

“Oh, yes, we are, darlin’, in every way but sharing a bed. I can hear you shower in the morning. Watch you cooking when I come in from checking the horses. See you in good moods and bad. Watch as you rub your eyes when you’re tired and ready for bed at night.”

He tilted the chair back down on all four legs and leaned toward her until his breath caressed her cheeks.

“I hear your clothes rustle as you undress each night, hear your bed sigh when you crawl into it. There’s not much about living with you I don’t know.”

Shannon stared into his smoky gray eyes as if she were drowning. He was right. She could say the same about him. She heard him across the hall morning and night, heard the shower when he bathed. She’d wondered how he managed with his cast, his bandages. She had longed to offer assistance, but had refrained, knowing it would be the most foolish thing she could do.

She knew a lot about him, too, from the way he slept on his back, arms flung wide, to his grouchy mood if awakened before he was ready.

But
living together
? No, he was just staying for a time, then would move on.

“It’s not like you’re implying,” she whispered.

“It could be. Do you want it to be?” His voice was seductive, sexy, suggestive.

Yes
! If he would only—

“No!” Shannon scrambled back, out of danger, standing so abruptly her chair fell over and hit the floor with a loud crash. She spun and raced from the room, afraid of where her own thoughts were leading her. She heard his laughter as she slammed her bedroom door. Her heart pounded, hot blood coursed through her and her mind wouldn’t relinquish the image of them together. She was so mad she could spit!

Shannon awoke the next morning determined to maintain a serene facade before Jase, no matter how he tempted her. She’d lain awake long into the night, hearing his words echo over and over.

One tiny part of her longed to make them true. She’d love to live with him, share her life with him, build a future together. But the bitter reality was, she could never trust him. She’d never trust a cowboy again.

The coffee had been made by the time she reached the kitchen. A dirty cup sat in the sink. Wandering over to the open door, she looked out into the yard. Jase stood near his truck, talking with Gary. The horse trailer had been unhitched and pushed to one side. Wondering what they were discussing, Shannon stood in the doorway, straining to catch some words, but they were too far away.

While she debated whether to join them or not, Gary laughed and nodded, turning toward the barn. Jase climbed into his truck and started the engine. He drove off without noticing Shannon.

She watched as the dust settled behind him, wondering where he was going so early in the morning. Turning back to the kitchen, she was relieved he had left Shadow and the trailer. At least he’d be back. Until then she hadn’t realized how much she’d feared he would up and leave. Which was stupid, he was going to leave in a few weeks. It wouldn’t matter if he left early.

Yes, it would.

When she worked at the morning chores with Gary, she casually asked him where Jase had gone.

“Into town. Had some things to see to, he said,” Gary replied easily as he helped fork out the fouled straw.

“Did he mention what?” Shannon asked.

“No, just said he’d be back later. You need him to run some errands for you?”