Rebecca's Rose (5 page)

Mamm patted Rebecca lightly on the cheek. “I am sorry you bear this burden of nursing your invalid mother.”

“It is no burden, Mamm.”

“I like you here where it is safe. I worry when I send my babies out into the world.”

Instinctively, Rebecca placed her hand on her elbow. No one but Levi Cooper knew about the three-inch gash hidden under her long sleeve. Well, Levi and the unsympathetic nurse who’d administered the tetanus shot. If Mamm found out, she’d have Rebecca on three different antibiotics before bedtime and probably take a turn for the worse herself. Being upset only made Mamm sicker.

“You look as if you have a headache,” Mamm said. “Take some gingko. There’s a bottle in the bathroom.”

“No headache, Mamm. I feel fine.”

“The feverfew helps, just in case you are coming down with a headache. Better safe than sorry.”

“I must turn the chicken,” Rebecca said, slipping from her mother’s arms. “I’ll bring in some supper and rub your legs.”

Putting her hand to her heart, Mamm sank into her pillow. “I told Linda to put the chicken on. But she had a headache and said the ibuprofen didn’t help.” Mamm frowned. “If tomorrow I could rise from this bed for good, I would see to Linda right quick.”

“Don’t worry, Mamm. You mustn’t upset yourself. I am fine to cook the chicken. Linda would only burn it.”

“That’s my gute girl. I feel better when you are home to take care of us.”

Rebecca turned from her mother and felt the familiar tightness in her chest. They depended on her so desperately. She mustn’t fail in her duty.

The guilt pressed on her chest until she found it hard to breathe. She marched down the hall into her room and retrieved her cell phone from her top drawer. Her thumbs hunted awkwardly for the right buttons. She was still very slow at texting.

Levi, I am sorry. I will not be able to see you on Friday. Let’s forget the whole thing.

Her place was here, at home, with no time to waste on Englisch nonsense. But before she pushed Send, she hesitated and put her hand on her pocket, where Dottie Mae’s list rested. She fingered the paper and in her mind saw Dottie Mae’s chunky handwriting on the page.

Wasn’t she willing to sacrifice for her best friend?

Jah, anything.

She took a deep breath to clear her conscience and pressed the Delete button instead.

Anything for Dottie Mae.

“Smile, Rebecca. Your horse can smell fear,” Levi said.

Rebecca didn’t take her eyes off the back of the horse’s head. “Is that what that smell is? I thought it was the perfume you are wearing.”

“Guys don’t wear perfume, kid. It’s called
cologne
.”

“Oh, sorry to offend you, laddie.”

Levi laughed and shook his head. “I know you hope to irritate me with that nickname, but I rather like it. It makes me feel like some manly Scot warrior in a kilt.”

Rebecca glanced at Levi. “I will have to give more thought to finding you an annoying nickname. Nothing I’ve tried so far seems to be just right.”

“
Kid
seems to do the trick for you,” Levi said. “But is there a nickname you like? I hate to keep offending you. How about
Fred
?
Fred
is kind of cute.”

“You want to be seen with a girl named Fred?”

“I like
Bec
. You like that?”

She shrugged. “It’s okay.”

“
Becky
?”

Rebecca’s face clouded over. The expression was even more concerning than the sheer panic from a few moments ago. “Don’t ever call me that.”

Her reaction spoke for itself. This went beyond discussion, beyond joking. Levi knew without asking that if he ever called her
Becky
, she’d ride off into the sunset and he’d never see her again.

Jack Pittford, the owner of the two horses, finished tightening the cinch on Rebecca’s saddle. “Okay, Levi, you’re all set. Rebecca’s horse is real gentle. Shouldn’t give you any trouble.”

“Thanks, Mr. Pittford,” Levi said. “We’ll have them back by four.”

“No hurry. I know you’ll take good care of ’em. There’s plenty of places to water them along the way if you stick to the trail.” Mr. Pittford patted Levi’s horse on the neck. “Come by the house after, if you want. Millie would love to see you.”

Levi thanked Mr. Pittford a second time and checked that the reins were even. He loved riding horses. It always brought back memories of helping his
dat
hook up the buggy for
gmay
.

He would have given Rebecca a reassuring wink, but she had her eyes glued to the spot exactly three inches below the horse’s right ear. Her hands gripped the saddle horn so tightly, her knuckles were white. She wore the same jeans and yellow T-shirt from their first date, and she looked even prettier than before, even with that look on her face.

“You remember what to do?” he asked.

She nodded slightly as if any unexpected movement might catapult her off her mount. Was she even breathing?

“It’s going to be okay,” he said. “Loosen your pull on the reins and give the horse a gentle nudge in the flanks with your heels. That’s right.”

Rebecca let out a muffled squeak when her horse actually moved, but she didn’t panic. After the horse took four or five steps forward, Levi saw Rebecca take a breath. Good. She might not hyperventilate after all.

“See,” he said, “nothing to be afraid of.”

“Did I say I was afraid?”

“No, absolutely not. That thought never even crossed my mind. I mean, Amish girls are around horses so much, they probably understand their language.”

Levi heard Rebecca breath again. Twice in the last minute. This was progress.

“A lot of Amish ride horses. I just never got the chance. Mamm thinks it’s too dangerous.” A sigh unconsciously escaped her lips. “Did you have to pay Mr. Pittford to use the horses?”

“Nah, I help him in the stable once in a while, so he doesn’t mind.”

“He likes you very much.”

Levi chuckled. “He wants me to marry his daughter.”

“He does? Is she your girlfriend?”

“We hung out a couple times in high school. I got to know her dad because we went riding sometimes.”

“Do you want to marry her?” Rebecca said, more interested in staying on her horse than in anything Levi might say.

Grimacing, Levi spurred his horse even with Rebecca’s. “Why would I want to do that? She’s pretty but not real smart.” He thought about his entire high school and post-high school dating experiences. That description fit just about every girl he had dated, including Tara.

“So you prefer smarts over beauty?” she said.

Levi glanced at Rebecca. Considering she was only giving him half her attention, her question seemed like the beginning of a deep conversation, and he was tempted to make a joke. He wasn’t particularly eager to share his girl experiences with Rebecca. She’d think badly of him.

Why should he care if she did?

Despite his inclination to make light of her question, he cleared his throat and said, “Cornflake girls.”

“What?”

“That’s what I call them. Pretty on the outside but with cornflakes for brains.”

He wanted to laugh at her expression. The tight-laced Amish girl thought
he
was strange.

“So Mr. Pittford’s daughter is a cornflake girl?”

“Pretty much.”

Rebecca pried her gaze from the trail and looked at him with those eyes that reflected so many different colors at once. “You have dated many cornflake girls, like as not? I suppose the Englisch girls claw out each other’s eyes to get to you.”

“Claw out their eyes?” Levi sputtered then laughed. “That has never happened.”

“But they like you.”

He cocked his head to one side. “Sure they do. What’s not to like?”

Rebecca rolled her eyes while still clutching the reins like her horse might bolt at any minute. “Pretty is as pretty does.”

Levi’s heart sank. How could she make him feel like his good looks were a liability? “It’s true,” he said. “Beauty will only get you so far.”

Rebecca furrowed her brow and nodded. “My mamm is pretty.”

Why did he suddenly feel so concerned about that look on her face? He wanted to put his arms around her and tell her it was going to be okay—whatever
it
was.

Too soon for that. It was none of his business.

“Are you up to going a little faster?” he said.

She breathed rapidly, and beads of sweat appeared on her forehead. “Jah, of course. I want to run.”

“Running might be beyond your skill level at the moment. Let’s try a brisk walk first.”

He showed her how to prod the horse into a trot. The look of sheer terror grew with the speed of her horse, but she made no attempt to slow down. On the contrary—she urged a faster and faster pace. It seemed the more frightened she became, the faster she wanted to ride.

They rode up the trail, cresting the low hill at a trot. He insisted they slow the pace down the other side. No use in breaking her neck on the second date.

At the bottom of the trail, they stopped to water the horses at the small stream that crossed their path. She held onto the saddle horn for dear life as her horse bent its head to drink, and she was doing that breath-holding thing again. Levi hated seeing the look of panic in her eyes. Why did she want to ride a horse if she was so obviously traumatized by the experience?

“You’re doing really well,” he said, leaning over and patting her horse’s neck. “I’ve never seen Sandy lose a rider yet.”

Rebecca forced a smile. “It is really fun.”

Levi wanted to laugh out loud. Clearly, she was having a miserable time, and he was dying to know what she would truly find enjoyable. Unable to suppress a chuckle, he coughed to cover it up. Then he pointed down the trail. “Past those trees is a long stretch of trail where we can let the horses run. Then we’ll go up through the meadow to a really nice spot for a picnic.”

Rebecca panted as her horse bent for another drink. “You’ve been on this trail a few times.”

“With Ashley Pittford. And Brittany.”

“Brittany?”

“Ashley’s sister,” said Levi. Levi had been in high school at the time, and she was a college girl. He’d never met a girl as brazen as Brittany Pittford. Everything about Brittany, from her low-cut halter tops to her skull tattoo, broadcasted the type of girl she was.

Levi studied Rebecca’s face. There was something so much more appealing about a girl like her—someone whose love couldn’t be had so cheap.

He frowned. He was thinking too deeply about this Amish girl.

Levi spurred his horse forward in a gallop. “Come on,” he called. “The trail follows the water.”

After cantering a hundred yards down the trail, Levi slowed his horse to a trot to let Rebecca catch up with him. She followed surprisingly close behind, still with that scared-spitless expression on her face but riding fast enough to quickly pull even with Levi. When she caught up to him, she slowed her pace to match his while gulping gallons of air into her lungs. She really would hyperventilate.

“Okay, stop for a minute,” he said. He brought his horse around so that he faced her, and he nudged his foot against hers in the stirrup. “Catch your breath, kid,” he said. “You sound like you’re having an asthma attack.”

“Really, I am gute.”

“Okay, then,
I
need to catch my breath. Do you mind?”

She screwed her mouth into a funny little smile and shook her head. “Take all the time you need.”

He motioned for her to follow, and the horses ambled leisurely down the trail until Rebecca’s breathing slowed from “utter panic” to “mild fear.”

“Okay,” Levi said. “You see where the trail is real smooth? We’ll do some cantering through there up to that stand of trees on the other side of the meadow.”

Fear flashed in Rebecca’s eyes, but she nodded enthusiastically.

“But don’t—don’t—go faster than I go. An inexperienced rider can injure herself and her horse. So keep my pace but no faster.” He stared at her until she met his eyes. “This is important, Rebecca. Do you understand? Don’t do anything to put the horse at risk.”

Again she nodded, sufficiently humble.

Levi spurred his horse into a canter. He wasn’t about to burst into a dead run. Rebecca matched him stride for stride. Good enough. She’d regained the terrified look on her face, and she should be satisfied with her speed.

Suddenly she dug her heels into the horse’s flanks. The horse bolted in surprise and took off through the meadow at breakneck speed.

No!
Levi wanted to scream at her, but fear that she would spin around to look at him and fall off the horse stopped the word in his throat. He watched helplessly as she rode hell-bent over the trail, hoping and praying she wouldn’t end up wrapped around some tree with the horse dead beside her.

To his relief, she somehow pulled up and stopped her horse just before diving into the thick growth of pines. As soon as the horse was stationary, she swung her leg around and practically jumped off her mount. After taking a few unsteady steps, she plopped to the ground and buried her head in her hands.

Levi raced his horse next to hers and dismounted. He tethered both horses to a tree branch and fell to one knee beside her. “Are you okay?”

“Jah,” she mumbled behind her hands.

“Are you hurt anywhere?”

“Nae, I am gute.”

Relief washed over Levi, followed close behind by unbridled outrage. “What were you thinking?” he yelled, twelve inches from her ear. “A mere three minutes ago, I told you not to do that!”

She lifted her head and stared at him with glassy eyes. “I did it. I never have to do it again, but I can say I did it.”

“Yeah, congratulations. It could have been the last thing you ever did.”

She blinked and grinned. “At least I would have gone out with a bang.”

“More like a thud. And a splitting headache—literally. Look,” he said, helping her to her feet, “how you want to die is your business, but I’m responsible for the horses, and shame on you for risking a broken leg or torn ligament. We’d have to put her down.”

Frowning, Rebecca brushed the hair from her eyes. She walked to her horse and patted it on the neck. “I’m sorry,” she said. “That was selfish. I needed…I wanted to be able to say I did it.”