“I want to have all my plans in place before I tell her. It must be the perfect time.”
“As you wish. It won’t amount to anything anyway,” said her fater.
Levi’s heart beat harder. “There is one more thing. Rebecca wants to go skiing. More than anything else in the world before she is baptized. And she wants me to take her.”
“Nae,” said her fater. “I have already said no.”
Levi stood and held out his hands. “You must understand. To her, it is almost a matter of life and death.”
“Why?”
He had said too much already. Rebecca would not want her fater to know about the list. “I am a good skier. I can keep her safe. If I’m not allowed, I promise she’ll find a way to go by herself. And she could get badly hurt.”
Her fater shook his head. “She will not go if I forbid it.”
Levi took a breath and chose his words carefully. “You are gone from home every week. Rebecca is a gute girl, obedient and strong. But in this one thing, she will defy you. Are you willing to take that risk with her life?”
Anger flashed in Rebecca’s fater’s eyes. “She would not dare.”
Levi’s eyes stung with tears of frustration. “Mr. Miller, I made Rebecca a solemn promise that I would take her skiing, and I intend to keep it. Please don’t ask me to break one promise to keep another.”
Rebecca’s fater had no immediate argument. He sat down on one of the milk cans and rubbed his forehead with the tips of his fingers.
He was silent for nearly five minutes.
Levi felt sick to his stomach. He couldn’t do anything but pray.
“She wants to go skiing,” her fater said.
Not an argument or an accusation. Levi saw a ray of hope. “Jah, it is the last thing she wants to do before she is baptized, and she says she will not let Jacob Glick take her.”
“Jacob Glick is thirty years old and unbaptized. I will not let Jacob Glick take her either.”
Levi dared a half smile. “Just for one day. I will watch out for her and bring her safely back. And I will keep my promise about not seeing her otherwise.”
Rebecca’s fater grunted. “When she sets her mind to something, she cannot be talked out of it. It would be just like her to break her neck in stubbornness.” He shook his head. “I will find someone else to take her.”
Levi stood and squared his shoulders. “I will take her. I would appreciate your approval.”
Rebecca’s fater lifted his chin and folded his arms across his chest. His eyes bored into Levi’s skull as if hoping to extract the secrets there. They stared at each other in breathless suspense until her fater turned away. “See that she is safe,” he said.
Levi grabbed her fater’s hand and shook it vigorously even though her fater didn’t return his enthusiasm. “Denki. I will never forget your kindness,” he said, elated that he ranked slightly higher than Jacob Glick in Rebecca’s fater’s opinion.
It was a start.
After practically slamming the front door on Fater and Levi, Rebecca swept and mopped with unusual speed. If she didn’t work herself to death, the curiosity would kill her.
She had just hung the mop in the closet when she heard another knock. What? Had her house suddenly become more popular than the bus station?
She must be a very wicked girl for God to punish her so.
With hat in hand, Marvin Yutzy stood staring at her with a mixture of determination and stubbornness on his face. His eyes widened when he saw the bandage. “What happened to your head?”
Again her hand instinctively went to the cut. “I had an accident,” she said, hoping to put an end to the questions with her tone of voice. She certainly wasn’t going to bare her soul to Marvin Yutzy.
Marvin cleared his throat and hung that determined look on his face again. “Is your dat home?” he said. “I came to speak with him.”
Rebecca took a deep breath. Had Levi and Marvin conspired to humiliate her today? “He is in the barn,” she said.
“I will go find him.”
“Nae, Marvin, he is…someone else is talking to him. You had best wait your turn.”
“My turn?”
“Jah.”
Marvin pointed to the bench on the porch. “I will wait here.”
Reluctant as she was, Rebecca remembered her manners. “Nae, cum reu. Come in and sit. It is too chilly for sitting outside.”
Marvin wasted no time in planting himself on the sofa and inviting Rebecca to sit next to him. She couldn’t very well avoid his invitation without being rude, so she sat down on the end of the sofa farthest from him.
Ever since the day he discovered Levi and Rebecca in the middle of the water fight, Marvin had redoubled his efforts with Rebecca. Besides continuing to pick her up on Tuesdays from Mrs. Johnson’s house, he personally invited her to every singing and gathering and often came by on a Sunday evening to sit with the family.
“I saw your buggy wheel is fixed,” Marvin said. “I am glad you did not have to buy a new one. They are expensive. We bought a new buggy three years ago, and my dat hopes it is the last one we have. I think as long as you take good care of your buggy, it can last for several years, unless it gets hit in an accident.”
Marvin gave Rebecca a tutorial on the best way to clean buggy seats and windows. She listened intently simply because there was nothing else for her to do. She couldn’t very well leave Marvin in the living room talking to himself while she refilled the propane lamps and gathered the eggs.
Max and Danny both wandered into the room at some point but left after a few minutes of listening to Marvin talk about the color of the milk from the cows at the dairy. No doubt they went to find a more exciting pastime, like staring at the ceiling.
A half hour must have passed before, through the window, Rebecca saw Levi and Fater emerge from the barn and march resolutely toward the house.
Rebecca jumped to her feet, happy that she had been able to stay awake through Marvin’s droning. “Here comes Fater now.”
Fater stomped into the house, followed by Levi. Levi gave her a weak smile.
“Fater, Marvin has come to see you.”
Fater practically tripped over his feet in an effort to shake Marvin’s hand. “Marvin Yutzy,” he said with exaggerated friendliness.
Rebecca glanced at Levi, who seemed to bear Marvin’s presence with composure. He watched them but didn’t change expressions.
Marvin shook hands with Fater while keeping his eyes glued to Levi. “I wish to speak with you, Amos,” he said. “In private.”
Fater forced a jovial laugh and took Marvin by the elbow. “Well, then,” he said, “step into my office.” He opened the door and led Marvin to the barn. Good thing the cows had already been milked. No one else would see the inside of that barn this morning.
Rebecca glanced at Levi. He stared out the window and pursed his lips. For some reason she wanted to give him comfort—for what, she couldn’t say.
Levi glanced at her. “The vultures are circling. And your fater would much rather have him for a son-in-law.”
“My fater will not pick my husband.”
“But your future husband must have your fater’s approval. Marvin has already won your fater to his side.”
“Fater does not wish for me to marry. I am needed at home.”
“With such a pretty daughter, I think he’s resigned himself to the inevitable.”
Rebecca folded her arms. “You two had a lot to say to each other.”
To her surprise, he reached out and gently drew her in for an embrace. She had absolutely no desire to pull away. “Oh, Rebecca, I had to do it.”
She felt a tear splash on her cheek. She looked up. He was crying. “Do what?”
“My mom said I needed to, and she was right. I told your fater everything.”
“Everything?”
He squeezed her tighter. “Not what we talked about last night. I told him about how you hurt your head. I told him about my Amish parents and my Englisch stepfather. He was very angry. We shouldn’t have kept that from him, kid. I rationalized that it was better to deceive him because you needed the help. But he is your fater. He deserves to know.”
Rebecca’s eyes stung with tears that she refused to shed. She knew what was coming.
“He won’t allow me to set foot on this farm,” Levi said, “until…”
“Until what?”
“Until pigs fly, I guess.”
She pulled away from his warm embrace and turned her back on him. “Why did you come? I told you not to come.”
“I have to make right what I can.”
“Did you tell him about the list?”
He shook his head. “That is between you and Dottie Mae.”
“What about the skiing?”
His voice was mild but held undercurrents of profound pain. “Is that all I am to you? A means to an end? A skiing trip?”
Rebecca couldn’t look into his eyes. “What does it matter?”
He sighed, sat down, and buried his face in his hands. “He gave me permission to take you skiing.”
“He did?”
“I told him I’d take you whether he agreed or not.”
The news that she had permission to go skiing should have made her ecstatic. But all she saw in the skiing trip was an end to her relationship with Levi.
It is better this way.
I have to be strong.
“Isn’t it great?” he said, his voice cracking. “You get to go skiing.”
She sat down next to him. “Great,” she replied flatly.
They sat together, the silence cramming into Rebecca’s ears.
“When will I see you again?” she said.
“Could I call you every day?”
“Jah. But can I see you ever?”
“When we go skiing.”
“But when else?” she said.
He studied her face. “Does it matter?”
She took a deep breath to clear the grief filling up her chest. “Jah,” she said. “It matters.”
He let the air out of his lungs as if he had been holding it for a long time. “Denki,” he said. He took her hand then released it just as suddenly. “But I want to gain your fater’s approval.”
“It is my rumschpringe. Fater may be able to keep you off this farm, but he cannot keep me on it.”
“Just the thought of being away from you until the snows fall is enough to make me miserable,” he said. “But more than anything, I want to do this the right way. To honor your fater and your traditions. It’s the only way.”
“The only way what? Levi, you are making me frustrated.”
He chuckled. “I promise, when I sort this all out, you’ll be the first to know. Just trust me, okay?”
“No, I won’t. I can look after myself.”
He stood up. She followed him to the door. He reached for her then pulled back before he made contact. “This is killing me, kid. But I’ll call every night. Will you answer the phone if you’re not too frustrated?”
“Jah.”
He took a long look at her, as if memorizing her face. “Let’s hope the snows come soon,” he said.
She could have no such wish. Falling snow meant the end of her perfect summer.
Before she said another word, he was gone. She watched through the window until his long strides took him from her view. Could he have walked a little slower?
Not until after she mixed the bread dough did Fater and Marvin appear in the kitchen demanding Rebecca’s attention. Fater looked no less pleased with himself than Marvin did.
“Marvin wants to come help you on the farm, Becky,” Fater said, as if it were the best, most original idea to ever cross his mind. “And I have given him my permission.”
Marvin grinned and fiddled with the brim of his hat. “I would like to come on Wednesdays after work at the dairy.”
Wednesdays. How convenient.
Rebecca’s throat tightened. “I am grateful for your help.”
“Since your fater cannot be here, you must put me to work doing anything you need,” Marvin said. “I want to lighten your burden.”
Why did Marvin’s kindness make Rebecca want to pull out all her hair? She thought of Levi with his old car and faded blue jeans. An Englischer, plain and simple. Nothing would change that.
Marvin, on the other hand, would make the perfect Amish husband: hardworking, loyal, faithful, predictable.
Rebecca suddenly saw the long years of her life laid out before her. Excusing herself as best she could, she hurried out of the room as it began to spin.
Bishop Bender pulled the buggy up in front of the white clapboard house. From the backseat, Levi heard Mom catch her breath.
“It is just like I remember,” she said.
“Your fater has been feeling poorly,” said the bishop.
Mom nodded. “Jah, Mamm wrote about it in her last letter. The diabetes.”
“His feet are bad.”
Levi let his eyes travel over the house and bare trees standing sentinel in the yard. A thousand memories of Mammi’s house flooded his mind. He never entered that house without paying with a hug and a kiss. The cookie jar was always full, and Mammi never, ever scolded him, even when he carried a squawking chicken by the leg right into the house.
No one loved him like his mammi did.
His heart thumped wildly as he stepped out of the buggy. Would they remember him? Accept him? Or had their love died when Mom left the church?
Mom grabbed his hand and squeezed hard. From the look on her face, she was more terrified than he. Levi squeezed back. Come what may, they had each other.
The bishop knocked firmly. A short, plump woman, who hadn’t aged a day since Levi last saw her, threw open the door and halted in her tracks when she got a good look at her visitors.
She popped her hand over her mouth. “Well, bless my soul. Bless my soul.” After glancing at the bishop, she reached out her arms to Mom and pulled her in for a bone-crushing embrace. Mom got her height from Mammi. The older woman couldn’t have been more than five feet tall.
“My Mary, my Mary,” she moaned as she rocked her daughter back and forth in a sort of welcome-home dance. The surge of emotion was too much for Mom. Her tears flowed. They embraced for an eternity before Mammi wiped a tear from her eye and ushered the three into her house.
“And little Levi,” she said, reaching up and taking his face in her hands. “I always knew you would be a handsome man.” She put her arms around his waist, held on tightly, and wept. Her unbridled acceptance broke his heart, and Levi bawled right along with her.