Rebecca's Rose (16 page)

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Authors: Jennifer Beckstrand

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BOOK: Rebecca's Rose
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“This is for you,” he said, handing her one of the roses.

She gasped with excitement then immediately chided herself. She shouldn’t give Levi encouragement by accepting his gift. But Rebecca found roses irresistible. She didn’t want to refuse it—even if her acceptance did raise his hopes.

“Oh, denki,” she said breathing in the fragrance. “I love roses.”

Levi studied her face and grinned. “I can tell.” He gave her the can of tuna. “For Danny. And”—he held up the other flower—“this is for your mom.”

Rebecca swallowed the oversized lump in her throat. “My mamm?”

“Is she awake?”

“You want to give it to her now?”

Levi screwed his lips into a funny line. “Might as well get kicked off your property early in the day—avoid the suspense that way.”

Rebecca instantly felt sick to her stomach. “Jah, the suspense is killing me.”

She invited Levi into the living room and directed him to sit on the sofa draped with an afghan Rebecca had crocheted last winter. It was pink and green, the colors of the rosebush outside her window. In the kitchen, she rummaged through the cupboards to find a suitable vase for her flower. Once the rose held a place of honor in the middle of the kitchen table, she went to see if her mamm was awake. With any luck, she had slept in and wouldn’t want any visitors today.

Opening the door to Mamm’s room, Rebecca abandoned all hope. Mamm sat straight up in her bed, her hair carefully combed and tucked beneath her kapp. She wore her emerald-green dress with the black apron and shoes. Her bed was made, and she sat on top of the quilt as if waiting to be fetched for a party.

Rebecca stared at her mamm. “How did you make your bed?”

Mamm laced her fingers together. “With much effort,” she said. “Oh, Rebecca, you look a little pale. Take some cayenne pepper.”

“Levi is here.”

With trembling fingers, Mamm smoothed the nonexistent wrinkles in her dress. She was nervous? Certainly her anxiety paled in comparison to Rebecca’s, who just knew she was going to throw up.

“Is he in the living room?”

“Jah, but I can bring him in.”

Mamm frowned at such a thought. “Receive an important guest in my bedroom? What are you thinking, heartzly? Go, go, and I will come out.”

“I can help you.”

Mamm waved her hand dismissively. “Go and wait for me. I am coming by my own power.”

With a doubtful look, Rebecca turned and trudged down the hallway like she was going to her own death.

She entered the living room and sat next to Levi on the sofa.

Levi leaned close to her ear. “Don’t worry. In case you haven’t noticed, I can be quite charming, kid.”

“Charm will not get you very far with a protective Amish
mutter
, Scout.”

“Scout? Nice. Like Davy Crockett.”

Rebecca let out a sigh that originated from her toes. “Your overconfidence is very comforting.”

She listened with growing anxiety as Mamm shuffled her feet down the hallway. Levi actually put his hand over hers and squeezed reassuringly. She relished the warmth of his touch before snatching her hand away and folding her arms tightly around her waist. No good for Mamm to see them holding hands.

Levi stood as Mamm entered the room, hobbling on her cane with pain etched in the wrinkles of her face. She took one look at Levi and her face brightened considerably. Rebecca should have known. Every mother loved to have a boy pursuing her daughter, but a good-looking boy was reason to be especially proud.

Rebecca stood also. “Mamm, this is Levi Cooper,” she said.

Levi handed Mamm the rose, and she breathed in the flower’s fragrance. “Denki, Levi. Rebecca tells me you have done good work for us. We are grateful.”

Levi flashed those white teeth that made every girl swoon. “I come to help Rebecca with the heavy lifting. She’s very capable. I have to work hard to keep up with her.”

“Cum,” Mamm said. “Sit.”

Mamm eased into the rocker and motioned for Rebecca and Levi to sit on the sofa.

“There are other boys interested in my Rebecca. Marvin Yutzy, Peter Stoltzfus, Giddy Yoder…”

Rebecca wanted to crawl under a rock.

“Rebecca’s fater does not usually allow others to help with the farm,” Mamm said.

“Yes, I understand. Rebecca told me.”

Rocking slowly in her chair, Mamm studied Levi’s face. “But this is a special circumstance between you and Rebecca.”

Rebecca felt her face grow hot. Mamm made it sound like they were a couple.

“My husband has granted his permission for you to be here.”

“I’m glad,” Levi said, winking at Rebecca.

Rebecca pretended not to notice. How could every gesture, every look from him, prove so unnerving and so invigorating at the same time?

“I brought a power sprayer to remove the chipped paint from the barn. Max and Danny have agreed to help. Rebecca said she could get paint for it next week.”

Levi quickly rose to his feet, no doubt in hopes of postponing a conversation that could only end in disaster. “But now I should run and get that power sprayer out of my— I should run and get that sprayer and the apricots. My mother’s friend has a tree, and she said I could have all I wanted as long as I picked them.”

“Sit, sit,” Mamm said. “No need to be in a hurry.” She shifted in the rocker and laid the rose in her lap. “Tell me about yourself, Levi. Who is your family? Do I know your parents?”

The moment Rebecca had been dreading had finally come. She wouldn’t lie to her mother. A lie was like a hole in the roof. A person had to spend a lot of energy to keep the water from spreading, and like as not, a new leak would appear, and then another and another, and soon there weren’t enough buckets to catch the lies.

And Levi wouldn’t lie either. He had many flaws that, due to his honesty, Rebecca knew all about. He wasn’t perfect, but he wasn’t the type to say an untruth. What would he tell Mamm?

She saw Levi look uncertain for the first time, but he charged ahead with a speech he must have rehearsed several times before coming over. “You might know my mother,” he said. “My father passed away when I was seven years old.”

“Oh, I am sorry,” Mamm said.

“My mother is Mary Stutzman. Her parents are Alphy and Nancy Petersheim.”

Mamm’s eyes widened, and she put her hand to her mouth. “Mary and Isaac’s boy,” she said softly.

Rebecca stared at Levi. She had never before seen the kind of pain in his eyes that she saw now. Had she not cared enough to look?

“Oh, the poor girl. A sad story, that,” Mamm said. She sat quietly for a moment with a strange look in her eye. “She married an Englischer and left the church. Took her two little ones with her.”

“I was seven, Beth was three. My father’s death crushed my mother; I remember that much. I’d lay awake at night and listen to her crying.”

“We felt sorry for her,” Mamm said. “But the new man made her very happy.”

“My stepdad came on the scene at her lowest point, I think. He got her through a lot.” Levi frowned. “Even though he left us, I believe he really loved her.”

“He left?” Mamm said.

“Yeah, they’re divorced now. Mom works at the hospital, and he lives in Chicago.”

“And you?”

“I work two jobs in Patton, and my sister, Beth, is going to college this fall.”

Mamm propped her chin in her hand and stared at Levi. He waited for her to say what they all knew she was thinking.

“I do not understand, Levi. You are an Englischer now, aren’t you?”

Levi nodded and lowered his gaze. He must not have been counting on that dependable charm to see him through.

“Why do you… I don’t understand. Why are you here?”

His matter-of-fact tone almost put Rebecca at ease, but she knew better. “I’m here because”—he glanced at Rebecca—“because I like Rebecca, a lot, and she needs help with the farm.”

A pleasant warmth spread through Rebecca’s body.

He liked her.

This wasn’t big news, was it? But hearing him speak it so plainly to her mother somehow made it finally true.

Rebecca held her breath as she watched the emotions play on her mother’s face. Confusion gave way to realization. Outrage followed close behind.

“What do you think you are doing? Are you trying to steal my Rebecca away?”

Levi gazed earnestly at Mamm. “I saw how hard it was for my mom to fit into the Englisch world. I wouldn’t do that to Rebecca.”

Rebecca put her ice-cold hands to her flushed cheeks. Mamm and Levi were jumping from one very big conclusion to another.

“Then you will break her heart.”

“I never want to do that.”

In a surge of indignation, Mamm rose to her feet. “I forbid this relationship, Rebecca, for your own good. I absolutely forbid it.”

Even though she knew it was coming, Mamm’s reaction crashed into Rebecca like a charging bull. She let out her breath and blinked until she subdued the threatening tears.

Levi slumped his shoulders and looked at Rebecca, his face saturated with disappointment. “I will abide by your wishes,” he said. “Thank you for listening to what I had to say.”

Rebecca fully expected Mamm to storm out of the room. Instead, she fell silent and stared at both of them as her expression softened. “This is for your own good,” she said.

If Rebecca could have mustered the composure to speak, she would have reassured her mother.
It will be fine. We will be fine.

Rebecca stood and took her mother’s arm. “Cum,” she managed to say. “Back to bed. Levi will go.” Her voice cracked once, but with any luck, Mamm did not even notice.

Taking Rebecca’s chin in her hand, Mamm looked into her daughter’s eyes. “I am only thinking of what is best for you. You understand?”

Rebecca mustered a cheerful expression. “Jah, of course. Do not worry, Mamm. Worrying aggravates your condition, and you have enough on your plate without fretting about me. I will help you back to bed.”

“I just wanted to help,” Levi said. “I know how hard it is for Rebecca.”

Mamm’s voice rose in pitch and volume. “You
know
how hard it is? What do you know about our family? Our way of life?”

Levi’s expression hardened. “I know that if you keep working your daughter this hard, she’ll resent it. How much more can she take before she snaps and leaves you forever?”

“So you do want to steal my daughter away.”

A pit formed in Rebecca’s stomach. Levi was only making things worse. “I would never leave you, Mamm,” she protested. “Never.”

Levi sensed Rebecca’s distress and hung his head. “I’m sorry. I am out of line for saying that. I will go now.” He locked eyes with Mamm. “Could I have your permission to milk the cows before I leave? To help Rebecca one last time?”

“Max has already milked,” Mamm said. She turned her back on both of them and started down the hall.

“Max is in bed,” Rebecca said quietly.

Mamm stopped short. “And your sister?”

Rebecca hesitated. “Asleep.”

Furrowing her brow, Mamm shuffled back into the living room and sank into her chair. “Guide me, Lord.”

She rocked back and forth with her head in her hands while Levi and Rebecca stared at her in silence.

“What did you do last night, Rebecca?” Mamm said, not looking up.

“The regular things,” Rebecca said, wondering what her mother wanted to hear.

“Laundry?”

“Jah, some laundry.”

“And mopping. And dishes.”

“Jah,” Rebecca said.

“What time did you go to bed, heartzly?”

“I don’t know.”

Mamm looked up. “It was after midnight, wasn’t it?”

“Don’t be upset, Mamm. I will try to get to bed earlier.”

Mamm held up her hand and shook her head and rocked back and forth, her face pale and a frown on her lips. The wrinkles on her face deepened, and she looked ten years older.

“I have been pretending that things weren’t this bad. I thought that if I closed my eyes to the truth, I wouldn’t have to do anything about it.” Her voice cracked. “I don’t have the energy or the strength to do anything about it.”

“Mamm, you are sick. Of course you can’t—”

“Things here are very hard for you. I have taken advantage of your good heart because the others are not so easily persuaded.”

The last thing Rebecca wanted was for Mamm to feel guilty.

“I will be fine,” Rebecca said.

“I don’t want you to be
fine
. I want you to be happy. You are so concerned for my well-being, and I am too selfish to think about yours.” Mamm sighed and massaged her forehead. “You did not go to the gathering on Friday night, did you?”

“Nae, Mamm. I never said I did.”

“You were with Levi?”

Rebecca didn’t want to further upset her mother, but she couldn’t bear the thought of giving up her one source of happiness. “It is only one night a week.”

“I don’t want to be your enemy,” Mamm said. “I want you to share your heart instead of tiptoeing around me for fear I’ll ruin your life.”

Rebecca couldn’t argue. That was precisely how she had been behaving.

Mamm looked at Levi and sighed. “As sure as rain, you are a gute boy, Levi Stutzman. For good or ill, Rebecca likes you. Not only that, but you lighten her burden plenty—one thing I cannot do.” She sighed again in surrender. “You have my permission to return to our farm whenever you like.”

Levi studied Mamm with undisguised disbelief. “I do?”

“Jah, but it would be better if the children know as little about you as possible.”

Levi smiled as if his joy would burst into laughter at any moment.

Rebecca was surprised by her own elation. “But what will you tell Fater?”

Mamm suddenly looked very weary. “I am hoping the subject will not come up for several weeks.”

Levi’s confidence returned as quickly as it had fled. “I was born Amish,” he said. “My parents are Amish. So, technically, I am in rumschpringe. Maybe that is all your husband needs to know.”

Mamm managed a half smile. “I will cross that bridge when I come to it.”

Grinning widely, Levi squeezed Rebecca’s hand and headed for the front door. “Do you want the apricots in my car? Three bushels.”

“Jah. We will can them today while you spray the barn,” Rebecca said.

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