Reasons to Leave (Reasons #1) (11 page)

“A lot can happen in ten years,” she whispered sadly.

“I’m realising that now. It doesn’t feel like ten years. God, I was so selfish.” He covered his face with his hands.

She gripped his hands and pulled them away. “No, Jason. You did what you had to do. I know that now. I had no idea any of those things were happening. And I’m so angry with your dad. I—”

“He’s not my dad. He stopped being my dad the minute he laid a hand on me. I have no father. I have some wanker who donated sperm…that’s it.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean—”

“No, don’t be sorry. I’m the one who’s sorry. I went about everything the wrong way.”

She shook her head vehemently. “No, you were still a kid. We had only just turned eighteen. You took yourself out of a very difficult situation. That was the only thing you could do.”

He glanced at the clock and shook his head. “Look, it’s gone one. I’m exhausted. Why don’t I walk you back to your cabin and we’ll talk tomorrow… Well, later today.”

“It’s fine. I can make my own way back. You should get some sleep. It’s not far to walk. Unless I’m going to be eaten by mountain lions or something.” She giggled.

He frowned. “Stevie, this is the Cairngorms not the Yukon.”

She smiled at his answer. “Funny, I had the same conversation with someone the day we arrived.”

He grinned. “Eh? What are you on about?”

“Oh nothing. Right… I’ll be off.” She stood to leave.

He stood too and enveloped her in his arms. “Thank you.”

She pulled her brow in. “For what? Making you cry?”

“For letting me explain.”

“It’s fine. It fills in the missing pieces…mostly. But I’m sure you have more to tell me.”

“Why don’t you come again after lights out and we’ll talk more? I have more wine.”

“It’s a date.” She clamped her hand over her mouth as soon as the words had fallen out. “Sorry, I didn’t mean—”

“That’s okay. I know what you meant.” He kissed her head. “Are you sure you don’t want me to walk you back?”

“No, some of the little blighters might see if they’re up, which I wouldn’t put past them. I don’t want to be giving them the wrong impression. Goodnight, Jason.”

“G’night.”

She switched on her little torch and made her way down the narrow path, which led to the main clearing. The night was spookily quiet apart from the odd hoot of an owl and the rustling of the gentle breeze through the trees. The moon cast a pale glow over the site and the mountains in the distance, highlighting everything in an ethereal silver glow as she walked wearily back to her cabin, feeling emotionally drained. Once inside, she collapsed into her bed and fell into a fitful sleep plagued by nightmares of a frightened adolescent being hurt with canes, belts, and horrid words.

****

Day Three Of Hell

Stevie awoke with a start at seven and sat bolt upright. A faint knocking rattled her door.
Ugh, that must be what woke me
. She stretched as she walked over and opened the door.

David stood there smiling. “Morning, sleepyhead,” he all but whispered. “Breakfast is being served down in the main hut in about half an hour, so you need to get a move on.”

“David, why are you speaking to me in that rather bizarre, theatrical whisper?”

He cleared his throat. “Oh, sorry, I’m not sure. Are…are you coming for breakfast?”

The sun had already made an appearance and the weather looked bright and warm, but all she wanted to do was to crawl back into bed and go back to sleep. “Yeah, can you give me ten minutes or so? I didn’t sleep too well, and I need a shower to wake me up.”

He nodded. “Oh yeah…sure… I’ll go and make sure the kids are all getting ready. Although,
you
may need to chivvy the girls along a bit. They’re all too busy applying full make up in the hope that Jason will ask one of them to marry him, or something.” He rolled his eyes.

She couldn’t help but laugh at that. She could see the appeal though. Jason was certainly an attractive man. His dark hair and dark eyes, along with his stubble and outdoorsy ruggedness, made him incredibly sexy. And that was before you considered his defined, sculpted physique. A shiver ran down her spine, making her physically shake.

“Oooh, I hope you’re not coming down with something, Mrs. Norton.” David wagged a finger at her accusingly.

She rolled her eyes—which was becoming a regular occurrence around this guy. “What? No! I’m just waking up, David. I’ll see you in ten.”
Good grief.
She slammed her door in his face, and heard him chuntering as he walked away.
He can be such an irritating arse
. She grabbed her towel and toiletries, went into her small en-suite, turned the water on, and allowed it to heat to piping hot before stepping under the cascade where she let the water relax her tense shoulders.

Ten minutes later, she was dressed in black shorts and tank top with a pale blue shirt over the top. She laced up her walking boots and pulled her hair into a scruffy bun atop her head. She applied sunscreen to her face and went without makeup; apart from a little concealer to hide the dark circles that were there as a result of a lack of sleep and crying the night before.

When she entered the main hut, there was a buzz of conversation, which meant she could enter almost unnoticed. She got in line for food and glanced around the room almost immediately, making eye contact with a rather tired looking Jason. His hair was scraped back into a half ponytail again and he wore a black fitted T-shirt with the WFH logo. The shirt showed the definition in his chest and biceps that she hadn’t had an opportunity to appreciate the night before thanks to the drama that had ensued. He smiled warmly and nodded at her. He gestured to the seat beside him, and she nodded her acquiescence.

Once her plate was loaded up with bacon, scrambled egg, haggis, and a tattie scone, she made her way across the room to where Jason sat surrounded by girls. Once she had placed her tray down and sat beside him, he leaned in and whispered, “Thanks for saving me from my fan club.”

She sniggered as the girls looked daggers in her direction. “Girls, if you’re all finished up, can you go and find out which groups you’re in for the day please?”

The girls whined and moaned but left the table and made their way over to where Dorcas stood with a clipboard, smiling broadly as always. She glanced over and her smile faded as her gaze flitted between Stevie and Jason. Her brow crumpled in what could only be interpreted as confusion.

“What’s the story with you and Dorcas, then?” Stevie enquired, looking down at her food.

Jason's fork stopped mid-air, en-route to his mouth. “Story? There isn’t one. She works for me…full stop.”

She tried to sound nonchalant. “So you’re not…you know…
together
?”

He chuckled. “Absolutely not. Whatever gave you that impression?”

She looked up into smiling eyes. “Oh, just the way she looks at you. Like you’re her hero or something.”

He laughed heartily. “The way she
looks
at me? I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He shook his head incredulously.

“Oh come on. She positively swoons every time she speaks to you.”

“Well, I can assure you that she and I are nothing but colleagues.” He popped a mouthful of food in and chewed with a wide grin on his face. “Not that it’s any of your business if we were
more
.”

The heat rose in her cheeks, and she stared down at her plate again. “I wasn’t asking because I’m
interested
,” she muttered.

“Oh, but you are.”

She snapped her head up to look him in the eye.
Oh we’re back there again are we?
Arrogant shit
. He was staring intently at her, which made her heart rate increase. “Oh for goodness sake, I’ve said it before, but here I go again…get over yourself, Jason. Not every woman drools over a muscular man with come-to-bed eyes,” she snapped in a loud whisper rather like the one David had been using earlier.

A smile spread across his face. “Oh really? So ogling a shirtless man through the trees is just something that one does to while away the hours, is it?”

She stood. “Suddenly, I appear to have lost my appetite,” she snarled. Hastily, she left the table and went to empty her food into the garbage. When she glanced over, Jason was laughing to himself
. Idiot
. She chuntered under her breath.
How dare he presume that I’m still attracted to him? Arrogant, self-centred pig.

Chapter Eight

Stevie stood frozen to the spot, staring toward the ground eighty metres below her position at the top of the rock face. She was expected to abseil down it.

Hmmm
.

“Come on, Mrs. Norton! You can do it!”

“Yeah, Miss! Go on! We’ve all done it!”

“It’s not that scary, Miss. The only bad thing that could happen is that the rope could break and you could fall to your death, but…well that
hardly ever
happens.”

The words of encouragement from her students were doing little to spur her on, or to make her believe that jumping off a cliff with a thin harness around her crotch was a good plan.

Jason stood by waiting for her to pluck up the courage to do the activity that everyone else, including David, had already done…
twice
. Heights were never something she had worried about, but then she had never walked off any attached to a rope before. She had always maintained a safe distance from the edge of such lofty summits. And unlike
some
people, she had never had the desire to bungee jump, paraglide, or go up in a hot air balloon. No, Stevie and heights had a mutual respect—she would keep away from them if they would keep well away from her. Terra firma was King.

Much to her chagrin, David appeared beside her. “Not going over, Mrs. Norton? It’s fine…really it is, if you’re too scared. Perhaps you should look after the lunches and things when we go kayaking tomorrow, eh?” She narrowed her eyes and turned to stare at the grinning imbecile who insisted on patronising her.

“I’m not
scared,
David. I’m just…a little…
nervous
. There’s a vast difference between trepidation and fear.” She turned to see Jason sniggering.
Oh great! So no one thinks I can do this. Right. I’ll bloody show the lot of them.
She stomped over to where Jason stood and placed her hands on her hips. “Okay, Mr. Reynolds…strap me up.”

“Now you’re talking,” he whispered, as he leaned in to check and secure her harness, and in her opinion, he spent a little too much time doing so. Her cheeks flushed at the suggestive way in which he addressed her.
Whatever is that supposed to mean? Oh God, he’s turned into some kind of pervert in the last ten years, hasn’t he? All this talk of tying me down and strapping me up with that glint in his eye. Just great.

Once everything was secured and double-checked, Jason placed his hands on her shoulders and squeezed. “Come on, you can do this. Just remember the instructions I gave you, and you’ll be absolutely fine.”

Taking a very deep breath, which did nothing to calm her jangling nerves, she got into position. Teetering on the edge, she began to feed the rope through her gloved hands as she had been instructed. Her heart hammered, as if trying to escape through her sternum, and a sheen of sweat broke out on her upper lip.

“Okay, Stevie, push off with your feet and feed the rope through like I showed you,” Jason called over the edge to her.

Following the instructions, she pushed off the rock face and plummeted a few feet with a loud squeal. The pupils both on the ground beneath her and looking over the cliff face cheered and clapped. She glanced up and caught a look of obvious pride on Jason’s face as he stood applauding along with the others.

Before she knew it, she touched down on good old terra firma again, and once she was uncoupled from the ropes, the waiting group drew her into a hug. She felt exhilarated and relieved all at the same time. A sense of achievement washed over her, and she couldn’t help jumping around and applauding herself too.
What a buzz!

After completing the abseil several more times, the staff and students hiked toward their next activity. Rock climbing. The outdoor climbing wall was something that many of the kids were excited about. Once again, she was dreading it. She’d spent the morning conquering her fear of descending from a great height and now she would have to climb one. And even though the direction of the journey was different, the prospect of plummeting to her death still preyed on her mind as a distinct possibility. And at least this morning had involved little effort as the ropes did most of the work. This time there would be muscles involved that she hadn’t used in a very long time.