Real Vampires Live Large (11 page)

“My laptop is in the bedroom. I haven't had time to check it out. Why?” I watched Richard prowl the living room. Something had him worked up. Maybe he'd hoped Flo would be here. For a month, the couple had been hot and heavy. Even short term, which is the way my roomie likes it, it's hard to just turn off that kind of attraction.

“I've thought of a way for you to repay your debt.”

“Now this is getting interesting.” Will stood and walked closer. “You got debts too, Glory? This guy loans money?”

“Down, boy. Glory had a little accident. She's paying for repairs to Mainwaring's vintage Harley.”
Valdez pushed between me and Will.
“It's a sweet piece of machinery. Or was until Glory ran right over it.”

“It was an accident. And Richard was at fault too. He'd parked in my spot.” I went to get my computer. “If doing some computer work will get me off the hook, I'm all for it.”

Richard followed me into the bedroom, Valdez on his heels. “I need you to do some research for me. And maybe it's time I learned to navigate one of these things. You can give me lessons on how to use the Internet.”

I grabbed my computer and took it to the table in the breakfast nook.

“You never learned how to operate a computer?” I wasn't about to admit I'd been resistant to new technology myself for way too long. Then I'd discovered I could actually do some bargain shopping online. The rest as they say is history.

I sat down, flipped open the computer and powered it up. To my relief, it seemed to be operating all right. We had good wireless Internet access here. Damian had made sure of that once he'd moved his sister in. Flo supposedly didn't read or write, but she was hell on wheels when it came to online shopping. We'd spent many a fun evening on the Italian shoe sites.

“Let me check my e-mail first.” I hadn't done it since the night before the fire. A quick glance showed the usual notices from my favorite shopping sites, some spam (yeah, right, like I want to see a nympho getting up close and personal with livestock) and e-mails from some buds I'd left behind in Las Vegas. Richard leaned over my shoulder, an interested observer. I wished he didn't smell so good.

“Oh, my God!” A message from the Fang Collector. One guess who that might be from.

“What? What is it?” Richard leaned over my shoulder.

“An e-mail from Westwood. I doubt it's a thank you for the lovely time we had on Halloween.” Especially since the toad was probably still recovering from the wicked knife wound Jerry had managed to give him. I hope it hurt like hell.

“How could he know how to contact you?” Richard pulled out a chair and sat beside me.

“Westwood's a computer genius. He practically invented the Internet. He probably knows everything about me. From my reading habits to my cup size.”

“Cup size?” Richard looked puzzled.

“Bra cup. I shop online a lot.” I felt too queasy to be embarrassed. I sucked up my courage and opened the e-mail.

“Listen to this: ‘If you're reading this, then I guess my fire failed to send you to hell where you belong. Too bad. Either you have the world's best luck or I'm losing my touch. I choose to think the former. But, trust me, vampire, your luck is about to run out. I may have left the scene, but my men have not. They're paid well to make your life a living hell. But not to kill you. I reserve that pleasure for myself. Soon.
W
' ”

“The bastard's got his nerve. But he's an idiot for taunting a vampire.” Richard jumped up, looking around like he wanted to tear something apart or maybe smash something. I could definitely relate. “Are you going to answer him, Glory?”

“That might encourage him.” Westwood's pen pal? My finger twitched over the delete button, but I knew I had to save this garbage. Evidence of harassment, though going to the police was obviously not an option. I did the next best thing, I forwarded it to Blade. As soon as I did it, I knew it was a big mistake. He'd go ballistic.

I took a shaky breath. I had to trust Blade not to go off half-cocked. Hopefully, he'd use his rage to formulate a plan, a carefully executed plan that would turn Westwood into roadkill.

“Damn it!” I jumped up, fighting my own urge to smash and trash. I grabbed a bottle of Fangtastic out of the fridge. I offered a bottle to Richard but he shook his head. I took a deep swallow and waited for the jugular juice to do its thing. It did make me feel marginally better, stronger anyway.

“I just hope Blade manages to get to Westwood and takes him out. Problem solved.”

“Until the paychecks stop, Westwood's men will be creating a nuisance.” Richard glanced at the living room. Valdez and Will had both looked up when they'd heard the refrigerator door open, but when neither Twinkies nor a steak came out of the kitchen, they'd gone back to snoozing, Valdez on the couch, Will on the floor. “At least you have protection of a sort.”

I was not comforted. “Damn! Damn! What next? Slashed tires? Another fire in the shop?” This was infuriating. I sure wasn't going to sit calmly by waiting to be attacked.

I sat back in front of the computer and hit reply. Westwood wanted to start a flame war? I was all over it. I'd had centuries to hone my verbal skills. I hit send before I could even reread for typos.

“Take that, you creep with the bad jewelry. Fang necklaces are so not cool.”

Richard grinned and pulled out a chair to sit across from me. “What did you say, Gloriana?”

“Plenty. I even threw in a voodoo curse I learned in New Orleans.” I smiled in spite of my still simmering rage. “Westwood may need clean underwear after he reads my e-mail.”

“I hope you don't regret that, Glory. It could cause things to escalate.”

I met Richard's blue, blue eyes. He was actually worried about me. Hey, he could join the club.

I took another swig of Fangtastic. “I can handle a few mortals. Maybe they'll decide Westwood's money isn't worth the risk.”

“What are you thinking, Gloriana?”

“Mind reading.” I looked at my dogs. “We put the pooches to work. They can read the minds of any and all mortals who get within a hundred feet of this building. They pick up a Westwood vibe and we deal with it.”

“Are we talking murder and mayhem?” Will had perked up at the word “money.” Now he trotted up to stand next to me.

“Don't look so eager. Murder no. Mayhem definitely.” I glanced at Richard who'd raised an eyebrow. “Westwood's sent me an e-mail threatening to harass me with some hired muscle. When they come around I can plant memories, fake memories that make these guys run like hell.”

“I like it, Blondie. Mind control.”
Valdez pushed Will out of the way.
“Not sure we can just run loose outside though. Austin has strict leash laws. And doing mind control on every dog catcher that comes by . . .”

“You won't need to run loose. Stay with Gloriana and read the minds of anyone nearby.” Richard looked thoughtful. “When she's in the shop, you can sit by the windows and do your thing through the glass.”

Valdez nodded.
“Sounds like a plan.”

“Wait a minute.” I'd just remembered something. “Westwood had those tinted glasses. If his guys all wear those . . .” Trust a techno-freak bastard like Westwood to find and use special eyeglasses that keep us from reading his mind.

“So anybody hanging around at night, wearing tinted glasses, is fair game. We act first, ask questions later. The day I can't knock a pair of glasses off a mere mortal is the day I hang up my dog collar. ”
Valdez bumped against my leg.

“We'll work it out.” I rubbed his ears and felt marginally better. I stared at my computer but neither Blade nor Westwood had answered me. Yet. “Let's start the computer lessons. ”

“Good.” Richard got up to lean over my shoulder and study my computer screen. “I see Google dot com there. I've heard of it. What does it do? Show me how you ‘Google' something. That is what they say, isn't it?”

“Sure. Hey, knowing the vocabulary is a good start.” I began explaining the process and the dogs settled back in the living room. I laughed at the expression on Richard's face when I googled
him
. There were Richard Mainwarings doing everything from rocket science to poetry readings.

“Poetry, Richard?” His warm hand settled on my shoulder.

“Why not? I've always been fond of a well-turned phrase.”

“Poetry.” Will snorted. “Spare me.”

Richard gave the dog a look. " 'O 'tis a foul thing, when a cur cannot keep himself in all companies.' ”

Will scratched his ear. “A badass vampire spouting poetry? Now
that's
foul.”

“I know that bit from my days at the Globe.
The Two Gentlemen of Verona
.” I smiled at Richard. “Nice.” You had to like a man who could quote Shakespeare. I looked at the dogs. Valdez had ignored Will and was sleeping on his back, giving us a not so nice view of his stomach and elsewhere. “Unfortunately my dogs think their place is in the middle of my business. I got used to one, but two . . .”

“Now, Mistress.” Will wagged his tail. “We but live to serve.” He glanced at Valdez who had started snoring. “And a fresh pair of eyes could be the best thing that ever happened to you.”

“If I just had to worry about your eyes, I could deal.” Will turned to give me his best “I'm a badass” look. Okay, maybe he would pull his weight. “Never mind. I did this to myself. I let Blade saddle me with both of you.”

“After that threat from Westwood, I'd think you'd be glad of the extra protection.” Richard leaned down, like he was studying the web site I'd been showing him.

I could never read his mind, but I had a feeling . . . Could he see down my V-neck T-shirt?

“Of course I can, Gloriana. Why do you think I'm standing here? You mentioned cup size. I got distracted checking them out for myself.” Richard chuckled, then stepped back when I jumped to my feet.

“Mind reading scumbag.” I slammed the computer shut. “This lesson's over.”

“Temper, temper. You said you were irresistible. I just proved the point.” Richard dodged my fist, grinned and headed for the door. “I look forward to our next lesson. And while I'm downstairs, I'll scan the neighborhood for any suspicious characters. It's been a while since I've made a mortal scream. Sounds like fun.”

I slammed the door behind him and threw the dead bolts. Then I pushed Valdez off the couch and picked up the remote. I needed something funny.
Two and a Half Men
. When Charlie came on to blond bimbo number sixty-seven, I remembered Richard's hand, warm on my shoulder and the twinkle in his eyes when he'd admitted to copping a peek. Okay, I admit it, I don't mind a little male appreciation from someone besides Blade. Hey, Gloriana's still got it. And I was beginning to understand why Flo had gone for Richard. He had a certain charm . . .

My cell phone rang during the third commercial.

“I got your e-mail.”

If the male voice had been Blade's, I would have been glad to hear it. Instead I gripped the phone until the plastic cracked.

“I got yours first.”
Nice comeback, Glory
. “For a billionaire, you've got weird hobbies. Has anyone ever suggested therapy? ”

“For a vampire, you've got an interesting vocabulary. Has anyone ever suggested a stake through the heart?” He actually laughed.

“Bastard.” My extensive vocabulary deserted me.

“You're angry. Are your fangs out?”

“Damn straight.”

“I wish I could see them. Run your tongue over them. So sharp, so pretty.”

“Sharp enough to suck you dry, you creep.”

“I remember how you looked on Halloween. Your very generous breasts thrusting against that wooden stake.” Westwood made a sound that creeped me out. “What are you wearing right now, Gloriana? Are you naked?”

My stomach lurched and I stared at the phone for half a second before I snapped it closed and threw it across the room. It hit Flo's collection of Patrick Swayze movies (don't ask), then bounced on the rug.

Valdez's cold nose brushed my face.

I threw my arms around him and laid my cheek on his warm fur.

“Yes.” I shuddered. “I think we just had phone sex.”

The phone rang again and we all stared at it.

“Pick it up. Let me talk to that asshole.” Will paced around the phone. “Damn it, this dog form sucks. Answer the damned phone, Glory.”

“No.” The ringing stopped for a few blessed seconds then started again.

“Check the caller ID.”
Valdez licked my cheek and I finally let go of him.
“Could be Blade. He'll be worried if you don't answer. ”

The phone quit ringing, then beeped to indicate I had voice mail. I made myself rescue the battered phone and check the number. Blade. Thank God. But why did he have to be so far away? I'd give anything to feel his arms around me now. I listened to his voice mail and realized I had to call him back before he flew home to check on me. Times like these, I realized a cell phone is nothing but a long leash. Okay, there were worse things than having a man worried about you. Like having a homicidal maniac as a pen pal. I ignored the rock in the pit of my stomach and hit the speed dial.

I wasn't about to mention Westwood's call. Blade needed to keep his cool and the idea that Westwood . . . Well, let's just say the whole thing was seriously creeping me out. The less said about it, the better.

"It looks good, Glory.” Flo threw down her paintbrush and wiped her hands on a burnt orange cotton T-shirt that she'd declared too ugly to be more than a rag. “A little plain, maybe, but I think better than it did before.”