Rayne's Return (Hearts of ICARUS Book 3) (36 page)

“When we got back to the
Armadura
, did you feel any pain or discomfort at all?” Ari asked.

“No, just tired and weak, like I said.  A bit dizzy a few times, but I didn’t want to tell you because I was worried you wouldn’t let me see Salene before carting me off to bed.”

“Is that all?  You didn’t feel anything else?” Landor asked.

“No, I didn’t,” she said, frowning.  “But with injuries like that, I suppose I should have.  Shouldn’t I?”

“Yes, Rayne, you should have,” Con said.

“How is this possible?”

“You experienced a lot of pain when the Doftle did their experiments on you.  Your mind found a way to dissociate itself from that pain, which probably saved your sanity.”

“After healing you, the Tigrens warned us that your ability to feel physical pain was greatly reduced,” Landor said.  “It never occurred to any of us that it was completely gone.  We assumed that if you were in pain, we’d be able to smell it, but we didn’t.  That assumption damn near cost you your life.”

“I’m still not sure I understand,” Rayne said, frowning.

“Rayne, you have no reaction to pain at all,” Landor said gently as he stared straight into her blue green eyes.  “None.  Your brain doesn’t recognize it, and neither does your body.  If you’d been bleeding externally we would have known you were injured sooner, but since your injuries were all internal, we had no idea, and neither did you.”

“We’re going to have to be much more careful with you from now on,” Ari said. “And so will you.  You’re going to have to remember that you don’t feel pain as you should.”

“How could I not be aware that I don’t feel pain?” she asked.  “That’s just…stupid.”

“No, it’s not,” Landor said.  “Give yourself a break, Rayne.  You went through hell.  Not being able to feel pain isn’t a good thing, but it could have been so much worse.”

A faint smile turned up the corners of her mouth.  “As Wolef said, I could have
gone completely round the bend
,” she said, imitating the dragon’s accent.  “So um, how did you manage to save me?”

“We began the linking,” Landor said.  “I’m sorry, Rayne, but it was the only way.”

“Please don’t apologize for keeping me alive.  You’ll make me think you don’t want me.”

“You know better than that,” Con said.  She smiled up at him. 

“Maybe you should take the rest of this someplace a little more private,” Salene suggested.

“That sounds like an excellent idea to me,” Landor said.  “Blake?”

“Let me scan her again,” he said, already pressing buttons.  “Just to be safe.”

Rayne remained perfectly still as the scanner passed over her body, but she wasn’t worried.  She might not be able to feel pain, an idea she was having trouble accepting, but she could feel herself growing stronger by the minute. 

“The healing is still progressing at a remarkably fast rate,” Blake said.  “Go ahead and take her, but no exertions for at least another half hour, keep a close watch on her, and let me know if you see any signs of deterioration.  And um…congratulations.”

“Thanks, Blake,” Landor said, sliding his hands beneath Rayne and lifting her from the medi cot. 

“I’ll be along in a minute,” Con said.  “I want to get a direction from Salene first, but call me if
anything
happens.”

“I will,” Landor promised, then carried Rayne from the infirmary with Ari leading the way.

Rayne rested her head against his shoulder and closed her eyes as they walked at a normal speed down the corridor.  “Now, tell me the part you were holding back in there, please.”

Landor sighed, but he didn’t try to put her off.  “We didn’t want to talk about your shield in there, so we held back the fact that we told the Tigrens, under strictest confidence, that you were able to hide your scent and your emotions behind a shield.  Because of that, they assumed, as did we, that you felt at least some pain, but that you were hiding it.  If we hadn’t told the Tigrens about the shield, they might have figured out right away that you don’t feel pain at all.”  They paused in front of the elevator and Ari pressed the call button.  Once they were inside and the doors slid shut, Landor looked down at her again.

“I’m so sorry, Rayne,” he said.  “We knew that creature kicked you.  We should have checked you for injuries right away.”

“I wish so much that you’d stop blaming yourselves.  I didn’t know I was injured.  I’m not sure how you were supposed to know.”

“We have enough Water magic to have discovered you were hurt,” he replied with an edge in his voice.  Rayne opened her eyes and looked up at him, then raised one hand and placed her palm against his cheek. 

“What else?” she asked.  “What’s the other thing worrying you right now?”

Landor started to deny that anything was bothering him, but one look down into her blue green eyes stopped him.  “You’re a witch, aren’t you?” he said, the corners of his mouth kicking up in a tiny smile.  “Of all the things we learned about you these past years, no one ever told us that.”

“We witches keep our secrets well,” she said.  “Tell me, please.”

Landor stepped into the elevator and waited for Ari to press the button for their deck and the doors to close.  “We had to begin the linking process to save your life, and I’m not sorry for that.  I’m just worried that once you have time to think about it, you’ll wish we hadn’t.”

“Why would I wish that?” she asked, surprised. 

“We’ve attempted to bring the subject up,” Ari said.  “When we spoke about tri-phase.  Do you remember?”

“Yes, I remember,” Rayne said with a soft sigh.

“You made it clear to us, in the nicest way possible, that you weren’t ready to discuss it.”

The elevator stopped and the doors slid open.  Landor and Ari stepped out and walked up the corridor toward the master suite in silence.  Once they were inside and Landor set her down on the bed, she’d decided they deserved to know the truth.  Before she got the first word out the door opened and Con stepped inside.

“That was fast,” she said in surprise.

“I was in a hurry,” Con said.

“Do we have a direction?” Landor asked.

“Yes, we do,” Con replied, as he took in the solemn expressions on everyone’s faces.  “She pointed us to Onddo, and that’s where we’re headed.  She’ll let us know if there’s a change.  What’s going on here?”

“I just told Rayne that we were worried about her reaction to us starting the linking without her consent,” Landor said.

“You’re upset about it?” Con asked her. 

“No, I’m not,” she said.  “In fact, I was going to ask you three if we could link today anyway.”

“You were?” Ari asked.

“I don’t understand,” Landor said.  “Don’t be offended, but are you just saying that to make us feel better, or do you really feel that way?”

“I really feel that way,” Rayne said calmly.  “I don’t want another day to go by without us being linked.”

“Not that I’m complaining, but why?” Con asked.  “You didn’t seem to want to discuss it before.”

“When the subject came up before something inside of me warned me that the time wasn’t right.  I didn’t remember why, which is why I didn’t want to discuss it.  I wanted to link with you more than I can say, but I couldn’t and I had no explanation for it.”

“And now?” Landor asked.

“Now I know that it was because I was afraid, but I don’t have to be afraid any more.”

“Afraid of what?”

She crossed her arms over her chest and leaned back against the headboard.  “Does it matter?”

“Yes, it matters,” Landor replied.  “A great deal, in fact.”

“You’re not going to let this go, are you?”

“No, we’re not.”

Rayne nearly smiled.  She knew them well enough by now to know that if she asked them to let it go, they would.  They’d be unhappy about it, but they’d do it if that was what she wanted.

“I was afraid that if I died when my other self on the
Facility
was destroyed, that you three would die too,
if
we were linked.  I hoped that since it was so…,” she paused, shook her head, and started over.  “Since you didn’t have too much trouble staying away from me for all those years after learning that I was your
berezi
, I hoped that it wouldn’t be much different for you if I died, so long as we weren’t linked.”

“Do you think it was easy for us to stay away from you?” Ari asked.

“I don’t have any idea what it was like for you,” she said.  “I just know that you did it, and I hoped that if I died, you’d be able to do it again.”

“Whether we could or not is irrelevant,” Landor said.  “We’d never let you travel to the next plane alone, Rayne.  Not ever.  Linked or not.”

“We made that promise to each other from the beginning,” Con said. 

“The beginning?” she asked.

“Right after we discovered that you were our
berezi
.”

“That was the first time,” Ari said.  “We renewed the promise when you turned eighteen.”

“I don’t understand,” Rayne said.  “You didn’t even know me.  Why would you make a promise like that?”

“Our soul belongs with your soul, Rayne,” Landor said.  “We were made to be together, our souls were meant to be linked.  Once we’d found you, there was nothing that could have convinced us to remain on this plane while you traveled to another.  Now that we know you, and love you, our feelings on the subject are even stronger.”

“I love you three just as much, and I don’t even want to imagine a single day without you.  I thought I was protecting you, but I understand now that I was wrong.  Seeing Salene’s pain, and fear, and regret was an eye opener.  I suddenly realized that I had it all backward.”

“Backward?” Ari asked, confused.  “What did you have backward?”

“Not linking won’t make it easier for those left behind if one of us dies.  Linking does.”

“While we agree that not linking won’t make anything easier, I’m afraid we still don’t understand what it is you’re trying to tell us,” Landor said.

“Salene regrets not linking with the Gryphons because now, if one of them dies, their souls won’t be linked together the way they’re meant to be.  They’ll be set adrift.”  She swallowed hard.  “They’ll be separate, and alone.”  She took a deep breath to clear the tears from her throat.  “I don’t want that to happen to her, or the Gryphons, and I don’t want it to happen to us, either.  I want to know from this day forward that if one of us passes to the next plane, we won’t get lost.  We’ll be able to wait for each other because our souls will be connected together as one, and no force on any plane is capable of tearing a soul apart against one’s will.” 

“Thank you, Rayne,” Landor said.  “I wish I had more eloquent words than that, but I don’t.  We’ll never forget this moment.”

“Nor will I,” she said, then took another deep breath.  “So, what next?”

“That will depend on you,” Con said.  “If everything goes as we expect, our bodies, and our mating fangs, will respond to whatever your body needs.”

She nodded, but that wasn’t what she meant.  “I know, but I was wondering more about how long the self-healing will take, and whether or not I’ll be able to feel pain when it’s done, and if I’ll have time to bathe before we get to the linking part.”

“Ah,” Landor said, frowning thoughtfully.  “In that case, I don’t know, I’m not sure, and I have no idea.”

“Good answers,” she laughed.  “Would you mind checking to see if I’m still healing?”

“Of course not,” Landor said.  Rayne remained motionless while they sent their Water magic into her.  A few moments later they all smiled.  “I think you can get up and move around if you like.  Do you really want to take a bath?”

“Weeble touched me, so yes, I do,” Rayne said, pushing herself out of Landor’s lap and inching her way to the edge of the bed without accepting help from her men who were all holding their hands out to her.  “Thanks guys, but I got this.”  They moved back, giving her room as she swung her legs slowly off the bed, and then stood up.  “I think I’d like a
sasuna
while we’re in the tub,” she said, changing direction. 

“No, I’ll get it,” Ari said, redirecting her toward the bathroom. 

“Thanks,” she said, rewarding him with a brilliant smile.  Con ran ahead to start the tub and Landor walked beside Rayne, not rushing her as she slowly crossed the room and entered the bathroom.  He helped her to undress, pausing to examine her back which still showed a few faint signs of bruising.  After helping her into the tub, Ari handed her an icy glass of
sasuna
, and they all undressed and joined her.  For several minutes they all relaxed in the steaming water, lost in their own thoughts. 

“Why are you sad, Rayne?” Ari asked.

“I’m worried about the Gryphons,” she said.  “I’m sorry.  This is an important time for us and I shouldn’t be thinking about my sister and her men.”

“If you weren’t worried about them, you wouldn’t be you,” Landor said. 

“Salene says that they’re alive,” Con said.  “Do you not believe her?”

“Of course I believe her,” she said.  “But I know a good bit about the Doftle, and I know a thing or two about male Clan Jasani, too.”

“What do you mean?” Landor asked.

“The Doftle go to extraordinary lengths to keep their captives alive,” she said.  “There’s no need to worry that they’ll kill the Gryphons because they never will.  But, the Doftle are very cautious when it comes to their own safety.  They
will
inflict deliberate, and probably irreparable, damage to the Gryphons if they’re afraid of them, or if they believe them to be a significant threat.”

“What sort of damage are you talking about?” Ari asked.

“I couldn’t begin to guess what they’d do to the Gryphons,” she said, crossing her arms over her chest in an unconscious protective gesture.  “But I can tell you what they did to Wolef.”

“If it upsets you too much, then don’t,” Landor said.

“No, I want you to know this.  Everyone has to know what the Doftle are capable of.”

“All right,
Kisu
, go on.”

“The Doftle sent out a distress call for an injured dragon.  When Wolef arrived in answer to that call they ambushed him, hitting him with dozens of tranquilizer darts all at once.  While he was unconscious they cut into his brain, forever taking away his ability to move his own body.  They didn’t even wait to see if he could be subdued by some other means.  They knew he was strong, powerful, and magical, all of which made him far too dangerous to them.  They wanted his living body.  They didn’t care about anything else.  Their intention was to destroy Wolef’s mind entirely and they believed that they’d succeeded.  They never knew his mind was still intact.”