Raspberry Crush (6 page)

"No, don't be. It's been two years; Corryn's doing great." Smiling, Billy added, "Well, except for the fixation about how all men are bastards."

"Sounds about right," Seth said, and Billy laughed. She still had a lilting kind of giggle—he used to love it, and apparently still did.

"What about you?" she asked. "How're your mom and brother?"

"Good, good," he said, and went on to give her updates.

While he was talking, Billy couldn't help but notice that Des was lingering around their table. Right now he was on about his tenth lap around with the mop, blatantly eavesdropping on their conversation. (The way his hair was combed behind his ears and his head cocked abnormally to the side each time he neared their table kind of tipped her off.) Not that she particularly cared; she and Seth were having a perfectly benign conversation on the surface, and Des was harmless anyway.

She thought about the way Seth had been looking at her a moment ago. Hungrily. No, that couldn't be right.
She
was the one who was hungry—starved—for some sexual satisfaction. (So what else was new?)

Just then everyone heard a loud bang. Des had accidentally walked into the pie case and sent his broom plummeting to the floor. "Oh..." he mumbled, leaning down to get it. "Whoops."

"Nice job!" Melissa called to him. Des ignored her and looked over at Billy, who smiled kindly at him before turning her attention back to Seth.

"So tell me about your life in Seattle," she said. Maybe for a moment her inner two-year-old wanted Seth to say that life was bleak. Dreary, loveless. Maybe the dark part of her wanted him to regret his decision to leave their burgeoning relationship behind.

But the feeling passed quickly. He'd always been a decent, caring person, and she hoped he'd done well for himself. And it definitely sounded like he had. According to Seth, he'd started his own consulting firm two years ago, and now it was thriving.

"Wow, that's so impressive," she said, smiling, and reached out to touch his arm. "I'm so proud of you!" Shrugging off the compliment, Seth dropped his eyes to Billy's hand, and she quickly withdrew it.

"Can I take that cup for you?" It was Des, who'd somehow sidled right up to the table. Billy nodded and thanked him as he grabbed her empty coffee cup and lingered for a few seconds before leaving.

"What about your job at Net Circle?" Seth asked, leaning forward. "How come you quit?"

"Wellll... I wouldn't exactly use the term 'quit,' " she replied, making quotation marks with her fingers. He gave her a quizzical look. "The company went under," she explained. "It came as a total shock to me, which was crazy, because I really should've seen the signs."

"What signs?"

"Well, a few days before I got the news, moving men came in and took some desks out of the office."

"Oh..."

"And then the phone company disconnected the fax machine."

"Ah..." he said with a nod.

"And, of course, there was the fact that when I tried to access the company homepage, it said: 'Error—Web site does not exist.' " Seth had to laugh at that, and Billy giggled, too. "I guess I was kind of in my own world."

"Listen, I still have a lot of business contacts here in Boston," Seth said, turning more serious. "I'd be happy to make a few calls—"

"No," she interrupted. "No, thanks, I'll find something." She refrained from adding that she really had no clue what she was going to do next, but whatever it was, she was fairly certain she could do it on her own.

Just then Des reappeared. "Billy, can I get you another cup of coffee or...?"

"No, I'm set, thanks," she said, wishing Des weren't being such a lurker today. Here she'd been talking to Seth for a while, and she still hadn't found out whether he was married. Pure idle curiosity, of course.

"Hey, I don't know what you're up to later," Des said, leaning his weight on the pole of the mop, literally making it his crutch, "but my band's having a jam session at the old abandoned warehouse. You should stop by."

Hmm... could that sound
more
unappealing?

"Oh, that sounds fun," Billy lied, "but I'm meeting my sister for drinks." Actually, that last part was true; after work they were having raspberry crushes at the Rack.

"Are you sure? Because I was gonna show you the new manifesto I've been working on. I'm thinking of putting it to music and just turning it into a song. You know, so I can reach more people. It'd be so cool to have your creative input."

Okay, Des was a sweet guy, but
please
—not another manifesto of logical fallacies and convoluted calls to some muddled kind of action. "Sorry—maybe another time," she said.

He nodded and retreated to help a flock of incoming customers, and once he was gone Seth looked at his watch. "You know, I should probably let you get back to work. I don't want you to get in trouble."

"Yeah, I suppose you're right," Billy said as they both stood up. "What time is it anyway?"

When he told her the time, she couldn't believe it. An hour and a half had flown by! And her coworkers hadn't even called her away. Jeez, she'd taken shameless advantage of the situation... yet she still wasn't ready to say good-bye.

"By the way..." Billy said, careful to keep her tone casual, "are you going to be at the Dessert Jubilee on Saturday?"

Seth paused, then curved his mouth into a grin. "It's a possibility," was all he said. And then a silence stretched between them; Billy suddenly felt shy, and didn't know exactly how to end the conversation. Standing next to Seth she became acutely aware of his height, and of her neck arching to look up at him. Her eyes zeroed in on a small spot along Seth's jaw that he must've missed with his razor. If she let herself remember, she'd recall exactly how those sandy whiskers felt rubbing along her cheek, brushing against her lips, and burrowing between her breasts. (It was a good thing she wasn't letting herself remember.)

"Well, take care," she said finally.

"You, too," Seth replied, then leaned in for a hug.

As he closed the space between them, Billy's heart kicked up, and suddenly all the nervous energy she'd tamped down came skittering back. Her stomach clenched into a tight, almost painful ball of tension as her breathing became ragged, almost shaky. A combination of apprehension and lust that she prayed Seth couldn't detect.

What's come over me?

She was so damn nervous and terrified... but exhilarated, too, as Seth tightened his embrace—pulling her closer, wrapping his heat around her, and trapping her inside. Sliding her eyes closed, Billy stood on tiptoe, cupped Seth's shoulders, and concentrated on the feel of him. Broad, solid...
sexy.
God, he was strong—she could feel it in the restrained way he held her. He'd filled out over the past four years, probably worked out a lot.
That makes one of us. Oh God, this is so surreal...

Her mouth ran dry as Seth's muscle and heat enveloped her, and some thick, invisible energy rose off his body like steam off hot pavement. She felt that steam seeping into her skin; to make matters worse, with his face pressed against her hair, hot arousing puffs of his breath tickled the rim of her ear.

Stifling the urge to moan, Billy struggled to understand the chemistry crackling between them—struggled not to enjoy the warm throb that pulsed between her legs now that she was touching him. Or not to enjoy it
too
much. She wondered if he felt something, too.

Just then Seth rubbed his cheek gently against her hair, almost as if acknowledging the sensuousness of the moment. But that probably wasn't it. Who, besides her, was sex-starved enough to get turned on by a simple hug?

"Billy?" he said softly.

Swallowing hard, she savored the gravelly thickness in his voice that took her back—reminding her of the intimate way he used to speak to her. Holding her by the ocean, whispering in her ear about the future, sliding his hand gently over her breast, groaning, and whispering, "This is mine." In return, she'd run her hand between his legs, a little less gently, feeling the worn denim and the swollen bulge in the front, and say, "
This
is mine." And he would bury his face in her hair and murmur, "You're right."

"Billy?" he said again, and she snapped into the present. That was good, because reveries were silly; every relationship was passionate and full of possibilities after only a few months. Suddenly she realized that Seth was trying to pull back from the hug... and that she was still clinging to him... and with
abandon.

She all but jumped, dropping her arms and stepping back to put some much-needed space between them. Inhaling sharply, she tried to clear the fog from her mind as her heart sped and her cheeks burned with embarrassment.

Seth was flushed, too. Dropping his gaze to the floor, he plowed his hand through his soft blond hair—a nervous habit, if she recalled—and then flashed her a brief smile. "I should really get going," he said, in a low, almost husky voice.

"Right, okay..." she agreed, backing up even more. "Um, it was great seeing you again and catching up... take care of yourself and—Oh!" She yelped as something rubbed up against her back. Turning, she saw that she'd stepped back too much—right into a plant. "Hmm, I didn't notice that there... anyway..."

"Well, I guess I'll be seeing you," Seth said with a brief nod.

He moved past her out of the bakery, and only after he was gone did Billy release the heavy sigh that filled her chest.
What a day!
There never seemed to be a way to prepare for the sporadic, non-dull moments in life that surprised her.
But it's probably better that way,
she thought happily as she pressed a hand to her heart, savored the
zing
of Seth's hug, and ignored the taunting leaves that prickled against her shoulder blades.

Chapter 5

When Billy got to the Rack, it was vibrating with loud, pulsing music and the clatter of Wednesday's happy hour. She didn't see her sister anywhere, so she pushed and shimmied her way through the throngs of people, apologizing to the air as she went, and finally made it to the bar.

Shrugging off her coat, Billy tugged lightly on her sweater to fan herself off, because the run across town was just catching up with her. Mid-fanning, she accidentally caught the eye of a skeevy-looking meathead in a flesh-colored, mesh muscle T.
Eww.
Predatory and desperate—she was just so flattered.

As his eyes roved over her body, Billy turned her head and mentally willed him not to approach. The last thing she wanted was to be hit on. Not that it happened everyday, but really, why start new traditions? Especially when she was determined to focus all her romantic energy on Mark. It was the least she could do after she'd gotten embarrassingly hot and bothered over her ex-boyfriend that afternoon.

And speaking of Mark, she hoped she got to see him before the weekend, because the Dessert Jubilee in Churchill was going to take up her whole Saturday.

The jubilee... That got her thinking about Seth again...

God, it had been so invigorating just to hold him again. Warmth washed over her body and pooled with urgency between her legs as she remembered. What was up with her? Why couldn't she get Seth out of her mind? Why couldn't she stop picturing him naked?

Why couldn't she stop fantasizing about lying under him and feeling his big, swollen erection push into her?

Because I'm sick,
she reasoned.
I'm repressed, horny, and sick.

Or maybe she was just fixating on sex because it had been a while. Maybe it was time to step up her physical repertoire with Mark. So far they'd kissed and touched, but, as her fantasies crept back into her mind, Billy bit her lip, sucked in a shaky breath, and knew she needed more. Her body was screaming for passion—excitement. Like a pink neon sign flashing in her brain:
Hot Sex
. Yet, it wasn't her nature to take part in that without love, or at least something akin to it.

Someone tapped on her shoulder, and she turned around. "Hey," Corryn said, blowing some long, dark wisps out of her big, dark eyes and away from her face, which was pretty even when it was frowning. She was five-two like Billy, but Corryn was slim and petite like their mom.

Corryn looked up and around the crowd. "Two seats just opened up at the bar. Wanna sit over there?"

"Sure," Billy replied. She followed her sister to the bar, and they both hopped onto their stools.

"Sorry we had to meet here," Corryn remarked as she slid off her tailored leather jacket.

"Why? I don't mind this place."

"No, it's great, except it's a pickup joint, the music's too loud, and half the guys are muscleheads." After she folded her jacket and set it neatly on her lap, she shifted to get comfortable on the stool.

Billy brushed off her sister's cynicism and tried to make eye contact with the bartender, who ignored her for a few laps around the bar before finally approaching. "Ladies, what can I get you?" Up close, Billy noticed that he was cute in a hulking, musclehead kind of way. He also had that perfunctory Boston-bartender attitude down: barely a smile, acting like he was doing them a favor.

"Raspberry liqueur, vodka, and Diet Sprite with crushed ice," Billy said.

"Make it two," Corryn interjected as she toyed absently with the clunky silver heart that hung around her neck. Incidentally, it was the only thing her ex-husband, Kane, had given her that she'd kept—the only thing that didn't somehow reek of their marriage.

"So how was your day?" Billy asked.

"Not bad," she replied with a shrug. "I showed a luxury condo to a punk band."

"Hmm."

"And apparently the Patriots lost last night, so Annette was in a shitty mood." Annette Beefe was Corryn's boss at Blue Sky Realty, whose garish Patriots parka was practically sewed to her body. "What about you? Anything new?"

Billy was about to tell her about seeing Seth when the bartender slid their sparkly pink tumblers forward. After he turned to another customer, Corryn took a sip of her raspberry crush. "Enh, this is weak," she said, making a face. "Sorry, what were you saying?"