Rapture (Elfin Series) (17 page)

“So?” he prompted when she didn’t continue further.

Finally she tilted her head up to look at him.
She immediately realized that this was a bad decision because his light blue eyes were nearly dancing with desire, and she could practically see him shaking like a junky with his need to get his hands on her. She knew the feeling.

“I realized something today while we were out there,” she motioned towards the door past him, “burning up elf plants and running for our lives.”

He waited.

She twisted her hands in her lap and bit at her bottom lip before she continued. “I realized that you really enjoy hunting down bad guys, and yo
u really enjoy being a warrior—doing what you are trained to do.”

“You realized this because I told you?” he asked.

She shook her head. “No, I realized it because it was written all over your face. You were like a little kid on Christmas.”

“And?”

Her eyes widened at him and her jaw tightened as anger welled up inside of her. “And?” she snapped. “And I’ve decided that I’m not going to be the one who takes that from you. I’m not going to be the reason you stop doing what you trained to do—what you obviously love to do.” She was breathing a little heavier when she finished as she attempted to get her emotions under control. It was so hard with him and she still wasn’t used to feeling so emotional and frankly, she didn’t like it.

“What do you mean you’ve decided?” His low voice and soft words should have been a red flag for her to just shut up, but then Elora was getting really good at ignoring red flags when it came to
Cush. “Decided what exactly?” he asked.

She let out a deep breath and ran her fingers through her hair. She pulled the long mane over her shoulder and quickly braided it, using it as an excuse to think before she finally just said what she needed to say.

“I’ve decided that once this is all done, once Lorsan is taken care of and Trik and Cassie are safe and all is right in the world, we…,” she motioned between them, “will just go on with our lives,” she paused, “separately, in our own realms.” Elora decided that as soon as that last word left her mouth she had never heard such utter, complete silence. It was as if the damn bed bugs, that she was sure were living in the motel bed, were holding their breath waiting to see what the warrior would do. He took a step towards her and she struggled not to stand from where she sat and move away from his imposing presence.

“You honestly believe I would choose my job over you?”
he finally asked after several tense minutes of silence. “You think that I would rather go into battle than be with my Chosen?” he asked before she could answer the first question.

Elora licked her lips nervously and then pulled her shoulders back and stood up so that she didn’t have to tilt her head so far back to look at him. “That’s just it
, Cush. I may be your Chosen, but you didn’t choose me.”
BAM,
she thought to herself,
how do you like them apples.
“You feel what you feel because you have to. You don’t have a choice and that’s not good enough for me. Not when it means that you might just throw away something that you love doing, something that you actually chose to do.”

He laughed but she didn’t think for a minute that there was any humor in that laugh.

“You think that I chose to be a warrior? You think that this life wasn’t forced on me? We aren’t human, Elora. We don’t live in a society where we go to school and get to be whatever our little hearts’ desire. As a male of my race the first thing they evaluate us for, before we are even a handful of years old, is our battle skills. Do we defend ourselves or do we hide? Do we protect others first or do we think of our own safety first. I was chosen by my king before I turned four summers. I was singled out to be a warrior long before I even had aspirations or dreams. Don’t think for a minute that I ever
chose
this life. It was chosen for me. I was predestined for it—just as you were predestined for me.

Elora didn’t know what to say to that. She couldn’t imagine what it must have been like to be a child and to
ld that you would be a warrior—that you didn’t have a choice. “You see that’s my point,” she said suddenly as she realized what she was trying to get across to him. He had just made her point for her and she wasn’t going to let the advantage slip away. “You have never been given a choice in your life and I’m not going to do the same thing to you. Okay, I get it; we’re soul mates. I totally believe that.” She wasn’t about to deny it because she could feel her soul was screaming at her to shut her big trap. “But I’m not going to tell you that you have to be with me just because we were made for each other. That’s not fair to you,” she paused and then finished with, “or me.”

Cush’s eyes narrowed. “Hold up, is this really about you not wanting to force yourself on me or is this about the fact that you don’t want to be with me? You just said it’s not fair for you. Do you feel like I’m forcing this on you?” She could see the hurt in his eyes and she should correct him. She should tell him the truth, but she saw this as her chance to push him away, a chance to make sure that he didn’t get stuck with her.

“Look, I realize that you are the other half to my soul. I understand that without you I won’t ever be whole. But, Cush, that’s just not enough for me to give up my life and it shouldn’t be enough for you either.” She turned away from him and had to bite her tongue to keep from crying because she knew at any moment he was going to tell her she was right. Any moment he was going to tell her to have a nice life and it was going to break her heart. She didn’t want him to see her if and when he finally did it.

“You’re righ
t,” he said after several heartbeats.

Elora felt her hear
t begin to shatter into a million tiny pieces. She squeezed her hands into fists and welcomed the pain of her fingernails digging into her palms. He had said it; he agreed with her. Now she just had to be strong enough to let him walk away.

“If all th
ere was between us was the soul mate connection, it wouldn’t be enough,” he continued and she was barely listening because really all she wanted was for him to leave so she could curl up in a ball and cry like the girl she never claimed to be. “If the only thing that made us what we are to each other was the Chosen bond then I wouldn’t ask you to walk away from your life, but that’s not all there is and you know it. LOOK AT ME!” he yelled suddenly and Elora jumped.

She turned slowly and her eyes landed
on a very angry light-elf warrior. His eyes nearly glowed and his chest rose and fell quickly with his short breaths.

“Tell me. L
ook me in the eyes, Elora, and tell me that you don’t love me.”

“What?” s
he nearly shrieked at him.

He took a step closer and another and another until he was less than a foot away from her. She had to tilt her head back to look up at his face and see his incredible beauty so close to her
, only a breath away.

“Tell me,” he whispered, “that you don’t love me. Tell me that the only thing between us is the link because you are my Chosen.”

The words were on the tip of her tongue. She could lie; she reasoned with herself. It would be for his own good, after all, and it would be only a little lie. She nearly laughed out loud at that though because truthfully it would be the mother of all lies. She loved Cush. She loved everything that made him who he was right down to the stubborn tilt of his chin and the possessive flare that flipped his bitch switch.

“And if you’re going to lie to me, please at least try to make it convincing,” he spoke up just as she took a breath to speak.

She snapped her lips shut and glared at him. He shrugged his huge shoulders and then folded his arms across his broad chest, waiting.

Elora wanted to stomp her feet and have a two year old moment, but she imagined herself having to tell Cassie all about it and decided that she wouldn’t give her best friend the pleasure of such a story. Instead she took a deep breath and consid
ered her options. She could lie and try to be convincing, or she could tell him the truth and hope that he didn’t laugh at her. She cocked her head to the side and looked around his hulking frame to the door behind him.
Or I could make a run for it,
she thought
. I could totally survive in Mexico on a beach somewhere. They make black bathing suits after all.
Cush stepped to the side, effectively blocking her view of the door. Truth be told she couldn’t outrun him; he’d tackle her and then his amazing body would be on top of hers and one thing would lead to another. Her pulse picked up and she nearly grinned as she thought,
okay, so running had its possibilities
.

“Little R
aven,” Cush’s deep voice brought her back to the present, “are you going to answer me?”

“I don’t,” she started and almost took a step back when his eyes narrowed dangerously. She cleared her throat. “I don’t have to lie.”

“You’re saying you don’t love me?” he asked incredulously.

“No, I’m saying that how I feel about you has never been in question. I said it shouldn’t be enough for you to just stay wit
h me because I’m your Chosen,” she reminded him.

His lips quirked up in that inf
uriating half smile as he spoke. “So you do love me?”

“Dammit
, Cush,” Elora finally growled in frustration. “I haven’t really said anything, you big ox. Other than, I didn’t think we should be together just because we were predestined. What are
you
saying? What do you want?” The last part came out much whinier than she wanted.

“I told you that I wanted you.” His arms uncrossed and he reached for her
, cupping her face in his large hands. “You are mine. Your soul belongs to me and mine belongs to you. You…,”

“That’s not…,
”

“Hush,” he told her when she interrupted. “I wasn’t finished. You have captivated me with your fierce loyalty and incredible bravery. You dazzle me with your beauty and you humble me with your trust and
I…love…you.”

Elora swore that if his
hands had not been on her face and his body so close to hers she would have fainted. He had said it.

“What?”
she breathed. So maybe she wanted to hear it again; sue her.

“I love you
, Little Raven. You are mine and if you think that I will let you walk away from me, to have your own life with someone else, then you do not fully grasp the possessiveness of a male of my race towards his Chosen.”

“Are you sure?” s
he asked suddenly.

“Am I sure that you
don’t grasp the possessiveness?” he began but she waved him off.

“No, not that you over
grown G.I. Joe. I mean are you sure you love me?”

A grin spread across Cush’s face. “Yes
, Elora, I’m sure.”

She felt a tear drop from her eye and his thumb brushed it away. His face was slightly blurry from the unshed tears but she didn’t blink them away, she didn’t want to stop looking at him, not even for the length of time it would take her eyelids to close and reopen.

“Do you have something to tell
me
?” he finally asked as he stared down at her.

“I thought you already knew,” she teased.

“Elora,” Cush growled.

“I love you,” she said quickly. “I love everything about you and the idea of not being with you,” she choked back the sob. “The idea that you might not want me, gah, I feel like such a girl.” She reached up to wipe the tears away. When she opened her eyes and looked back up at Cush her breath caught at the powerful emotion pulsing over him.

“I will always want you,” he told her just before his lips met hers. Elora gasped and her mouth opened allowing Cush to deepen the kiss. Their tongues danced and he pulled her closer, wrapping one hand in her hair and the other around her waist. She didn’t need the encouragement. She pressed herself closer and was rewarded when he groaned her name against her lips.

“How could you
think that I didn’t love you?” he whispered against her mouth as he pulled back breathless and drunk on her scent.

“Look
, I might be slightly conceded at times, but I wasn’t about to assume that you loved me just because I’m your Chosen,” she told him as she looked up at him, wishing he would just shut up and kiss her some more.

A wicked grin spread across his face. “I heard that.”

Elora hadn’t realized that the wall she had so diligently erected had come crashing down the minute he confessed his feelings for her.

“Then why are we still talking?”
she asked as she pulled his face back to hers.

“Good question
,
”
his voice caressed her thoughts as his lips once again claimed hers.

Cush tried to reign in his desires even as he pushed her towards the hotel bed. His mind was all over the place with need, anger, love, lust, and then the intense need to claim and to merge their souls in the way of their people rushed over him. She had planned to leave him. She had honestly believed that he would just let her go and let her be with another. His foolish little raven needed a lesson in what it truly meant to be a Chosen—in what it meant to be
his
Chosen.